Louis shook Harry's shoulders gently. "Are you awake yet, Hazza?" Louis singsonged.
Louis loved mornings with his boy... the soft light filtering in through the window, Harry's plush pink lips murmuring things in his sleep, his long curls splayed against the pillows... Louis tried to ignore the harsh raspy sounds that were coming from his boyfriend's mouth as he slept. It wasn't quite snoring- more of an achy wheezing sound.
"Mm up," Harry sighed, his voice huskier than normal. "What's happening?"
"Well it's rare for the four of us to all have the day off work without booking it," Louis smiled, dragging his fingertips gently across Harry's arms. "So we were going to head over to the park. Did you want to come with? We were gonna play footie," Louis rambled, "which I know sounds like too much running for you right now, but you can be on my team and I'll do all the work, I promise. Just stand by the goalpost and look pretty?"
"Yeah," Harry nodded, stretching out a little under the sheets.
Louis caught the wince of pain flicker across the younger boy's features as he moved.
"Is it still your legs?" Louis asked, his heart sinking, bobbing down the bottom of his chest. Harry's not that sick... they would have called by now.
"I'm, yeah, I'm fine," Harry mumbled, trying to rub the sleep out of his heavy lidded green eyes. "Might have slept funny."
"Okay," Louis whispered, rubbing his boyfriend's hips and pulling him closer.
Somewhere deep down, Louis knew there wasn't anything normal about Harry's rash (which he swore was still spreading, even if Harry insisted it wasn't), knew that Harry shouldn't be sleeping for hours during the middle of the day when he wasn't doing anything to tire himself out, knew that his legs being sore for days wasn't because of 'sleeping on it funny' or from sitting down for too long.
But Louis wanted to believe that nothing was wrong. He wanted it so bad. So he humored Harry a little and helped him out of bed as though nothing were wrong, guiding him to the bathroom and hugging him from behind as he watched them in the mirror- the younger boy tall, pale, and angular, and the older boy soft, tan and holding on so tight to his boyfriend he thought he might break him.
"Lou, you're gonna crush me," Harry laughed.
"I'd apologize but I'm not sorry," Louis mumbled, kissing Harry's shoulder blades and refusing to detach himself while Harry tried to brush his teeth, rumbling with laughter as Louis clung onto him.
Even if it was just for a moment, Louis wanted to be the normal, happy, healthy couple who just moved in together and had nothing more pressing to worry about than whether to have ramen noodles or pizza for dinner.
Louis turned away when Harry took his inhaler.
* * *
After years of dating Harry, Louis was surprised that he still got butterflies; but when he saw the green eyed boy giggling in the sunlight, trying to steal the football from Niall, Louis swore he could feel the wings flutter in his stomach.
"Louis!" Harry shrieked, "I need someone to pass to!"
The older boy quickly shook himself out of his thoughts and ran toward Niall and Liam's goalpost.
Harry's aim wasn't spectacular, but Louis still managed to get the pass, and easily sneak it past Liam, who had just pulled out his phone.
Sprinting forward in his little workout shorts, Harry launched himself into Louis' arms.
"Do you have to do this every time you get a goal?" Liam sighed, trying not to smile.
"You're just jealous of the dream team," Louis said, rubbing Harry's lower back before pulling him in to kiss the little pudgy bit of his cheek that miraculously had survived the arrival of Harry's sharp cheekbones a year ago.
Niall groaned. "What could possibly be more important than winning, Li?"
Tucking his phone away sheepishly, Liam shrugged. "My... my aunt just texted, so it's, it's whatever. Sorry, I'll put it away."
Louis' sharp blue eyes flickered between Liam and Niall, catching their loaded glances. He was almost certain Liam's 'aunt' that he'd been texting all week was Zayn.
The butterflies in Louis' stomach felt more like moths now, eating away at him every time Zayn was brought up. "How's your aunt doing?" He blurted. He was never good at keeping his mouth shut.
"She's good," Liam said. "I think she's a bit lonely, but she won't admit it. She's got too much pride."
Louis toed the grass, biting his cheek hard enough he had to stop before he drew blood. "She sounds like a proper wanker."
Liam rolled his eyes while Niall shuffled the ball back to center-field. Poor Harry just looked like a lost puppy, tugging gently at the edge of Louis' loose tank top, clearly confused about what they were talking about.
Niall was quick to start the game again- avoiding conflict like it was his day job.
Stealing the ball from Liam, Louis tried to find his boyfriend to pass to, but he wasn't on the right side of the field. Louis was about to swivel around when he heard a thud.
And then a whimper.
Harry was laying on the ground, not moving.
Louis could feel his heart contract and he wasn't entirely sure it was still beating.
"Harry! Harry!" Louis yelled, sprinting toward his boyfriend and dropping to the ground so quickly he could feel his knees skinning on the grass.
"I... I fell over," Harry said slowly, his eyes looking a little glassy.
"We'll just get you back up, babe, take you home okay? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have made you come." Louis smoothed down Harry's shirt anxiously. "You're okay though, you're okay. Just need you to stand up for me, babe."
"Louis," Harry said, voice barely audible. "I don't think I can get up. I can't... I don't... Louis, I don't think I can move my legs."
"No, you're fine," Louis insisted, his voice trembling. "You're fine, please just stand up."
"Louis," Liam warned, eyes darting between Harry and Louis.
But Louis wanted to believe that nothing was wrong. Wanted it more than anything. Wanted that fucking anxious twist in his stomach to go away, wanted to stop waking up to his boyfriend's raspy breaths, wanted to stop seeing new angry red patches surface on Harry's pale legs every night.
"Just stand up!" Louis yelled, tears streaming down his face as Niall wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him away from the younger boy.
"Louis, Louis, c'mon," Niall said, pulling Louis away from his boyfriend. "We'll let Liam take this one, yeah?"
Liam nervously watched Niall try to calm down Louis as he sat down next to Harry.
"Did you hit your head?" Liam asked softly, the breeze ruffling the long tufts of curly hair that had grown back in since his last buzz cut.
"No, I just... fell," Harry replied, dazedly squeezing Liam's hand.
"So you can't move your legs at all?" Liam asked, trying to sound casual, always the calm one in an emergency.
Harry nodded, and Liam pulled out his phone, dialing for an ambulance.
The younger boy rested back in the grass, as Liam rubbed his shoulders gently. He felt the warm blade of grass tickle his bare arms, but he felt nothing on his legs.
"You'll be okay," Liam mouthed before launching into the whole story for the 999 operator.
Author: I'm back now! I still tire out pretty easily, and I need a lot more rest than I normally do but I'm doing better this week. It's been a slow recovery this time around but I've finally started feeling normal again (and it's usually a fairly long time between episodes for me so I'm hoping my moods will level out for a bit). It's great to be writing again, this is my favourite way to escape. Thank you for all your lovely comments, they mean a lot to me ❤
[Also, if you wanted to check out Fading Zen by Lemonsuccubus, I would recommend it. I haven't had much time to read lately but Chapter One looked good :) ]