First Impression: I like the title and cover
This is a really cool plot idea, and you have a nice summary. I like how it's unique and creative. You create the atmosphere using words very well, and right off the bat, readers can feel the story. The prologue is definitely interesting, as it raises many questions and therefore leads the reader into the next chapter. I also like that you have descriptions, although sometimes they can tend to be too much and result in rambling, which is not good. I notice that there are many instances where you tend to just talk about another topic not related to the main focus, which is why the chapters are so lengthy. You tend to get distracted a lot and then realize this, then come back to focus, which causes a lot of unnecessary information. This can also cause confusion for readers. Also make sure to watch your verb tense because you tend to change from past to present or the other way around a lot when talking about the same situation. Some parts of the story don't flow well and have choppy transitions, so I would work on trying to smooth out your writing and taking out the unnecessary parts. You have great development of characters, and you can definitely work on making them more rounded. Good work!
Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)
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- bluecrayonlady