K A S H M E R E
It's been three weeks since August had been out of jail and we rarely saw each other and that was fine by me. We had one conversation and that was about Kaliyah. I told him that some days she came to work with me and some days she stayed with his mom and that he was free to spend time with her whenever he wanted.
He's been picking her up from his moms and dropping her off over there. Kaliyah was just happy to be spending time with her dad. August had stepped up and was actually coming around to see her more often and that's all I could ask for because before he got locked up he was rarely around. I just hope it continued.
"So how's everything been going since I last saw you," Dominic asked.
Dominic and I met up for lunch once and sometimes even twice a week. At first I simply liked being around him, he was nice and he wasn't bad to look at. He wasn't the first man to approach since I've been single but he was the first who didn't seem like they just wanted to have sex. He was the perfect gentlemen in every sense and very mature.
"Everything is great. Between work and Kaliyah I've been keeping myself busy. What about you?"
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "Life of a finance manager isn't as exciting as I thought it would be. It gets boring but it pays well."
"Well if you get to bored I could always hire you down at my studio. Can you dance?"
He laughed softly, "No actually and I rather not make a fool out of myself in front of you."
"You could never do that."
He smiled at me and I smiled back before turning my attention elsewhere. I was a bit rusty with this whole dating thing and I had been trying to take things slow. We hadn't really put a title on anything, it was just two new friends going out and getting to know each other.
I had told him the short version about August. That I was with a guy for a long time, Kaliyah's father and things just didn't work out. He seemed to be fine with it and told me that he understood and that we could take things slow and start off as friends.
We continued to talk and eat but we both couldn't stay for long because we both had to head back to work. Once we paid we walked out and he walked me to my car.
"I have a confession to make."
I looked at him and thought the worst. He was going to tell me something I didn't want to hear. I knew he was too good to be true.
"I enjoy the time that we spend together, the time that we spend getting to know each other. I know you have a lot going on and that you wanted to take things slow but I like you. I like you a lot actually and I guess I just wanted to know if you like me and possibly want to go on a real date? Don't get me wrong, are lunch dates are great but I just kind of want to do something more intimate with you. I know you stated you just want to be friends for now and I understand if that's how you still feel-"
He rambled on and I smiled because I had never seen him so ruffled. He was always poised and calm.
"I would love to go out on a real date with you," I cut him off.
"Seriously?"
"Yes. I mean I think it's about time you saw me outside of my work clothes," I looked down at my clothes. I was wearing sneakers and jeggings, nothing to spectacular considering I basically danced for a living.
"Great," he exhaled as if he was relieved.
I smiled. I've only been with one person my whole life and although I was still cautious I knew I wouldn't get anywhere being cautious. I was going to see where this goes, it's not like I had anything to lose.
-
After my lunch date I headed back to work and the rest of the time breezed by fast and before I knew it me and Braeden were locking up and I was heading to Ms. Sheila's to go and pick up Kaliyah. Ms. Sheila had her all ready to go when I got there and after thanking her we headed home so I could get her ready for bed.
After running her a bath and adding some of her favorite strawberry scented bubble bath I put her in the tub and sat with her.
"Did you have fun at grandmas," I asked her.
"Yes. Daddy came over and he took me to the playground and then we went shopping."
"Shopping," I smiled, "Really?"
"Daddy got shoes and lots of shoes but I didn't like any of the shoes I saw," she let out a little pout at that.
"You didn't see shoes at all?"
"No I told him I had a lot of shoes so he just got shoes for himself and his friend then daddy bought me ice-cream and then we went to Toys r' us and he got me a car with a remote control, I left it at grandma's house though."
"That was nice of him," I smiled at her but was curious about this friend he had around her. Not that he couldn't have friends but let's be honest; the people that August called friends weren't the most savory characters, "It sounds like you had a fun day."
"I had lots of fun."
"Was daddy's friend nice to you," I asked her.
"Yes she was nice," she nodded her head and that was something I wasn't expecting to hear.
"She was nice? It was a girl?"
"Yes."
I didn't know how to feel about what she just told me so instead of harping on it I finished giving her a bath. Once I dressed her in her PJ's and put her hair up for the night I kissed her goodnight and before long she was knocked out.
I took a shower and hopped out and made something quick and easy and just as I was about to get in bed I checked my phone. I had a goodnight text from Dominic which put a smile and I texted him back. Just as I was about to put my phone away and grab my kindle to read my cell phone rang. It was Danielle so I answered.
"Hello," I answered.
"Hey. I just called to see how your lunch date with Dominic went."
"I figured. It went good, really good actually because he asked me out on a real date and I said yes."
"About time," Braeden's loud mouth invaded the line.
"Whatever," I directed my comment towards him.
"So when is this date," Danielle asked.
"I'm not sure yet. He actually told me during lunch that he's going out of town this weekend for two weeks, back to New York to visit his family for the holidays so we'll see."
"Hmm," Braeden hummed, "That leaves you plenty of time for us to go shopping."
"For," I questioned.
"I didn't want to be the one to say this but over the past year you kind of let yourself go."
"Excuse me?"
"All I see you in is sneakers, no dresses, no heels. It's time to spice it up."
"I'm a dancer. What do you think I should dance in, high heels and mini skirts?"
"Actually that would be dope for our erotic class but that's not the point. It's time for you to get your sexy back. Go out and spice it up. It's not like your on a budget, you got plenty money to blow. Go get your nails done and get ride of the mom bob and get you a weave with some length, some curls, something sexy."
I looked at my nails and I was past due for a manicure. I wondered how Dominic even went out his way to talk to me. He was always dressed in the finest dress shirts always looked like he just stepped out of an Armani Ad. While I on the other hand looked like the poster child for Nike.
"Your right," I agreed after some time, "I mean I really like Dominic and it wouldn't kill me to sexify things up a bit. This weekend we can have a girls day, do some shopping, nails and hair."
They both were excited about the idea plus August wanted to take Kaliyah out this weekend so instead of sitting in the house alone I now had something to do.
"So does August know that your in a situation," Danielle asked.
"August who," I played dumb.
"August Anthony Alsina. Your first love, the guy you lost your virginity to, your fathers daughter, your ex fiance."
"I'm single so what I do or who I do doesn't concern him."
Braeden laughed, "Yeah until he finds out and then all hell is going to break loose."
"I don't see why and besides he's been out of jail for a month now and we barely speak. I'm sure he has a line of slut buckets on speed dial. I'm not his concern anymore and if I'm lucky he'll find another chick and move on and leave me alone."
"You can play hard all you want but we know you. You two have a child and like it or not he will always have a place in your life and in your heart. You know if he finds another chick you gonna feel a certain type of way."
I rolled my eyes thinking about what Kaliyah said earlier about him having some female around my daughter. I didn't have a problem with him having a girl but I did have a problem having her around Kaliyah but I would hold my tongue and let it go. As long as whoever she was didn't overstep then I was okay.
"If another chick wants to put up with him and his bullshit then so be it. Good luck to her."
A U G U S T
I was locked up for 13 months but it may as well been 10 years with how much shit has changed. The motherfuckers I was running around with before I got locked didn't even come to see me while I was locked up. No phone calls, no letters, nothing. Motherfuckers had no loyalty. Being locked up was a reality check forreal.
Of course I was happy to be out but on the flip side a part of me wasn't. I had no drugs and no alcohol to make me go numb. All I had was time and most of it was me realizing how bad I fucked shit up. That's the main reason I called her up to see me and end shit once and for all.
It was something I wanted to do but something I felt I had to do. Even after all the shit I did and said to her she stuck by me after I got arrested. Reaching out to my lawyer and making sure he was paid. She was there at the bail hearing at for everything during my trial. I didn't see not one of the bitches that claimed they cared about me but Kashmere was right there.
It made me feel guilty knowing I treated her the way I did and I knew while I was locked up she would still hold me down and that's not something I wanted her doing. She was loyal and I knew she would be up there every chance she got to visit and make sure that I was okay. I couldn't be locked up and have her waiting around for me, especially knowing the way that I treated her that year prior.
It was hard seeing her cry and telling her that she was better off without me but it was true. When she asked me to tell her I loved her I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. Of course I loved her but I felt like I didn't deserve to. I just needed time to figure shit out and I had nothing but time.
Giving her the green light to move on was the last thing I wanted to do but I had nothing to offer her from jail. As hard as it was to let her go I knew that she was better off without me and from the info I was getting while I was locked up I was right. She had moved to another place and even built another studio which was the last thing I was expecting. She didn't even touch none of the money I left her.
When I got out the first thing I planned to do was get my shit together. Seeing her for the first time in a year I didn't know what to say to her. I had planned this big ass speech in my head but when I saw her my mind went blank. A few days later I planned to sit her down and talk with her, but what I wasn't expecting is a envelope to show up at my mom's addressed to me.
I damn sure wasn't expecting over a hundred pictures of Kash to spill out. Taken everywhere from her outside her place to her work. To my mom's and to the store and everywhere else you could think of. No one else was in the pictures just her.
That shit put me on edge. I knew it was a silent threat and whoever it was was definitely playing with fire and had a death wish. I took action and hired a security to follow her and watch out for her. I told him not to get to close but just make sure that she was safe. I had them checking in with me every two hours and keeping an eye out for anything out the ordinary and so far they had nothing.
I hadn't got sent anything else but I wasn't taking no chances with taking the security off of her. On top of that I got word that someone called in an anonymous tip an hour before I got pulled over and arrested that night. Which means someone set me up and now I just had to figure out who. I would be out causing mayhem but I had to move smart because I know the cops were itching to lock me back up on some some bullshit.
Now I was keeping my distance from her not because I wanted to but because I had to. I figured keeping my distance from her would be for the best until all this shit was over but I didn't expect it to be this hard. While I was locked up it was easy because it's not like I could pop up on her but now that I was out that's exactly what I had to stop myself from doing.
Last time I saw her she had her hair up in a messy ass bun and sweat pants and a t-shirt, not that she didn't look good but looking at her now. She had on a white sports bra and matching shorts that could have been boy shorts with how they were riding up her long legs. She looked to good for words especially how the white looked against her dark skin.
I don't know when was the last time I seen her with long hair but I didn't realize how much I missed it. It was long and curly and of course it wouldn't be right it wasn't purple.
Watching her wind her hips and drop it low, then putting her hands on her knees and bringing it back up slow all the while her hair bounced from side to side had my mind gone.
You got me touchin' on your body
To say that we're in love is dangerous
But girl I'm so glad we're acquainted
I got you touchin' on your body
I know I'd rather be complacent
But girl I'm so glad we're acquainted
"Daddy," Kaliyah patted my arm and brought me out of my trance, "Are we going to go in?"
I looked at my watch and figured why not. I had picked Liyah up a couple of hours ago and since it was Monday night and my mom had plans I figured I would save Kash the trip and just drop Liyah off. Plus a part of me would be lying if I said I didn't want to see her.
She dropped Liyah off at my moms and left and I would come pick her up and drop her back off at my mom's so Kash could pick her up and take her home. The last time I saw her was about a week ago.
Before I could give her an answer Kaliyah took it upon herself to open up the door and walk on in so I walked in behind her and stood by the door. All the girls were trying to follow Kash's moves and some of them were on point but no one could compare to Kashmere. She watched herself in the mirror and hadn't noticed anyone else had come in the room but by now all the females noticed me in the room and had all for the most part stopped dancing.
But Kash was in the zone and kept on dancing that was until Braeden cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked over at him from her squatted position but before he could say anything Kaliyah had reached Kash and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Mommy!"
Her head snapped to Kaliyah and her eyes widened before she stood up and fixed her hair and she motioned to Braeden who cut the music off.
"Baby. What are you doing here?"
"Daddy brought me," she pointed a finger at me and Kash looked over in my direction before looking away and focusing her attention back on Kaliyah. She said something to her before Kaliyah skipped over to me and Kash turned to everyone in the class telling them that that was enough for the day.
I felt kind of bad that she had to cut her class short, to be honest if it wasn't for Kaliyah I would probably still be outside peaking in like a peeping tom.
I don't know what the hell she was teaching but it looked more like sex than dancing. As the females gathered there stuff and left out I did my best to pay them no mind and waited for them to all leave before I said anything to Kash.
Once everyone was out the room I watched as she gathered her stuff and her and Braeden walked out. Kaliyah trailed behind her. Braeden walked away to the back but before Kash could do the same I spoke.
"My bad about your class. Guess we should of waited outside."
"It's fine," she stopped to pull the shirt in her hand over her head, "It was running over time anyway."
"I thought I would do you a favor and bring her to you."
She looked nervous and cleared her throat, "Yes, thank you. Umm I have to run to my office but I'll be back."
Without another word she turned and walked away with Kaliyah skipping behind her. A minute later she came back with her purse and keys in hand. Her and Braeden locked up and once we were outside he walked to his car and I followed Kash to hers surveying around.
From across the street I could see my guy on security and nodded my head in his direction. Once Kaliyah was in the car Kash turned to me.
"I have to run back inside, I forgot something. Can you-"
"Of course," I told her and she moved past me and I watched her unlocked the doors and go back inside. I then turned my attention to Kaliyah.
"Daddy will I see you tomorrow?"
"I thought you were spending the day with mommy tomorrow," I reminded her.
"You can still come and see me here. I want to show you my dance. Mommy says I'm the best four year old dancer in the world. So please come tomorrow, pleassseeee," she trailed off pouting and I smiled.
"Okay. I'll come watch you dance and then I'll take you out to lunch okay?"
"Yayy okay," she clapped her hands.
"Goodnight. I love you."
"Love you to."
I kissed her one last time and Kash walked back over with a bag in her hand and put it in her passenger seat. She closed the door and was about to get in her car. I should of let her but I reached out and grabbed her hand.
"Hold up."
She pulled her hand away from my grasp and took a step back before answering me, "Yes?"
"I don't wanna hold you up, I know you got shit to do but I wanted us to talk. I was thinking we could
meet up one day just me and you."
She looked at me with her arms crossed over her chest, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why-"
"Because we don't have anything to talk about."
"I just want to talk. To sit down and see how you are."
She looked at me and looked like she was about to say something before shaking her head and smiling, "I don't think the girl your seeing would like that."
I didn't know what to say because I didn't know who she was talking about until I thought of Deja. She was a girl that I knew from way back before me and Kash got together. We bumped into each other the first night I went out and exchanged numbers. It was fucked up but I was just using her to get my mind off of Kash. It's not like I had feelings for her, it was just sex.
"Kaliyah let it slip that you have a new lady friend and that's cool I'm not tripping because I'm doing my own thing. I just don't want any drama and you know how these girls go crazy over you. I'm not telling you what to do but I just don't want you introducing her to a whole bunch of random females."
I get what she was saying but I was still stuck on her talking about doing her own thing. The fuck did that mean?
"You got a man," I asked her straight up.
She rolled her eyes, "Out of everything I said, that's all you have to say?"
"I hear what you saying, I wont' have no random bitches around Kaliyah, got it. So you got a nigga and how much does he come around Kaliyah?"
"I have someone I'm getting to know. Kaliyah has only met him once and it was my first time meeting him as well. You don't have to worry because I'm very cautious around who I have around her as you should be."
I didn't sound serious but she could just be downplaying shit for my sake.
"So you don't want to meet up with me because you got a man?"
"I don't want to meet up with you because I just don't see the purpose. You can see Kaliyah whenever you want, you can pick her up here or at your moms' but as for us being friends, hanging out and having fun, that's not going to happen. I'll be cordial with you because your her father but other than that I'm good. I have work in the morning and I have to get Kaliyah ready for bed. Goodnight."
With that she walked away over to the drivers side and got in and I watched from my spot on the sidewalk as she drove away.
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**Dominic in MM