GWEN'S POV:
My first plane ride was AWE...SOME!!! We went to Australia first, so there was mostly ocean to look at. But what I did see was unbelievable. It was like I could....see the curve of the Earth!
Sid couldn't wait, apparently, to talk to Harry about me. I was asleep for a while on the plane. There was nothing but sun coming in my window, and it felt warm on my face and I liked it, so I closed my eyes. I dozed off some, but sometimes I'd wake up. I woke up once to Sid asking Harry about my kissing Louis. Sid was older, like in his early 40's he said, and he told Harry that in HIS day, that sh.it was called cheating. And that I was doing it right in front of Harry and why didn't he mind it or get mad, bla blah blah....Harry tried to explain our relationship to him, but Sid just wasn't bending from his point of view. Harry understood his point, though. So did I, as I listened. He said Harry was just making excuses for his girlfriend liking another man. And excuses for his best friend liking his girlfriend, and sometimes we got to kiss or make out, and Harry thought it was ok, so he didn't lose me, and that he should grow a backbone and put a total stop to it all, and tell me and Louis that if we can't stay away from each other, then we can go be together...away from Harry. Stuff like that, he told him.
Harry agreed with his point, BUT....he didn't bend on his own point of view, either. He just kept telling Sid his relationship with Louis is just...different. And Louis and I wouldn't go off together, because we love him too much. And it's alright to be close to someone else and love someone else...especially if that person helped save your life. He reminded Sid about how he met me and all that. I mentally cringed as they talked about it. He kept trying to get his point across, but then Harry finally said "Sid..I get your point. I do. BUT...you're not getting MY point at all, so we're just gonna have to do the typical 'to each his own' standpoint, and give it up. You do your relationships your way, and I'll do mine my way, and I'll respect yours and you respect mine. And, my girlfriend will respect and be loyal to me, and my best friend will respect and be loyal to me too. And I to them. That's that. And please, don't hold any grudges against Gwen, because the way she acts with me, is the way I allow, and she's the most honest and open woman you or I will EVER meet, so just get to know her, and you won't be able to not love her. You'll see, mate. I'll probably be pulling your horny perverted arse away from her in no time. I mean it, though. Be nice to her. She's the other half of me now, and I want her to have fun on this tour. I'll need you to be my right hand man, too...help me take care of her when I'm working n' sh.it, alright? Can you do that? Because NOTHING will come between us. Got that, mate?"
HA! You tell him Harry. I kept dozing off again, but I had a slight smile on my face.
I couldn't help but reach over and feel around for Harry's hand, and pull it into mine.
I felt Harry look at me. I never opened my eyes, but I could feel his stare. I smiled a little bigger, and he squeezed my hand after it, as his form of a "smile back" at me.
Watching Harry at his first concert of the tour was....I don't even have words for it. He's amazing. I knew he was, but I don't sit around watching concert videos of him or anything. I have his albums on my playlist, and I do listen to them, and I love his music. I loved his music before I met him...I just didn't know who he was. But I'd heard his songs before, in the kitchen in that place, and I liked them. When Harry set up my iPhone when he gave it to me, he asked me which songs I wanted on there. I named like...10 or so songs that I definitely knew the titles of, because it was hard to pay attention to the radio when I was focusing on not getting beaten at every moment. I named three of his songs, without knowing who they were by. I didn't know two of the titles, but I sung the melody and some of the words. I remember Harry smiling when he heard me, so he brought the songs up on iTunes for me and I listened to make sure they were the ones I was talking about. They were, and he downloaded them, and showed me.
That's when I noticed his name on all three.
"See? You liked me before you even met me!" he told me proudly.
"You made me happy before I even met you!" I told him shyly.
Anyway, seeing him actually do an entire concert, besides the two or three videos he showed me of him in concert, was more amazing than I'd ever imagined. He's.......SO talented. He's so good. He's truly a rockstar when he's up there on stage. He's totally different than he is in real life. He has to be. I mean, he's the same, mostly, but what DOES change about him, is totally different.
I sat on the side of the stage watching him and sometimes he'd look over at me and smile. But not in a noticeable way. He was out there for the fans. Not for me, so it wasn't my time to have his attention. I didn't want it, actually. I just wanted him to get to another song...I loved hearing him!
And there were SOOOO many people in the audience, it was unbelievable! And they all knew his words, and all clung to every word he said....my first concert was my dad's, the night I met him. But his music was more...rock and roll. Harder. Louder. I didn't like it that much, actually. He did a few slow songs that I actually liked, but I was too nervous that night to really pay attention. HIS albums are on my playlist too. I listen to a few of the ones I like sometimes. I'm surrounded in my life, by musicians. And I'm so happy about that!
After his shows, he would go backstage, get a quick drink, sit for a little bit, eat a snack, then he'd get right in the shower, because he was coated in sweat. He wouldn't even hug me close until he showered. I told him I didn't mind, because he sweats on me all the time.
Then he'd thank and high five all his tour people who helped make the concert work perfectly, and he'd do some interviews from radio stations and stuff, and also meet and greets every night. Fans that won contests to meet Harry backstage. Some of them were so nice, and some of them wouldn't stop crying and saying "Oh my God". They said it so much, that they didn't even get the chance to say anything else to Harry! But he took selfies with them, and gave them autographs and all, so...they were happy anyway. Then we'd get on the bus, and go to the next place. We'd travel through the night, and sleep as we were rocked down the road. It was relaxing, actually. I liked sleeping while riding. I liked the hum of the engine, too. It was just....pleasant. And of course, being in Harry's arms topped it all off.
Having se.x on the bus was fun too. Just thought I'd add that in, because yeah. It was a daily occurrence. If not more. A few times, he pulled me into the shower after his concert, before his meet and greets. He practically ripped my clothes off, and dragged me in. We had to be quiet, cause the dressing room wasn't that secure, and you could hear everyone in the halls, so they could easily hear us. It was exciting, though.
It was strange to think that of allllll those people in the audience, including all the screaming girls who would have se.x with him in a heartbeat if they could, he was with me, as they were leaving, going back to their cars, raving about the great concert they just saw.
It made me want him more. Which he was happy to hear and happy to...oblige.
It was easy to get into the rock star life after a while. I was brave now, and meeting new people was pretty easy for me for the most part. Harry was always watching over me though. Even though his little bubble of people were pretty secure everywhere we stopped, there were always people who walked around and left you wondering...what are they doing? Why are they here? What's their job?
When he couldn't be with me, he'd make Sid stay with me.
Sid had put the whole kiss thing behind him, I think, because we got along just fine. I actually sat him down one time, when Harry was doing interviews, one right after another, and I had a talk with him. I think that helped. Because we actually joke and laugh and have a good time now.
Things were pretty awkward around him at first, though. I wasn't sure I could do four whole months with things like that. So I'm glad, and Harry's glad it turned good between us.
----
It's been almost two months already, and we can see the end of the tour in sight now, and it's kinda sad! We're having so much fun. We get a little bit of time to relax and explore every place we go to, and sometimes places we go through on the way. Harry and I have swam in tropical waters, relaxed on small islands, been through ghettos of foreign countries, and seen so much more than I've ever seen in books now. We've met strange people, and crazy people. Nice people and people who didn't even seem to fit in anywhere, as if they were from the dinosaur days. It's all so amazing.
And I can't even begin to rave about the view of the stars in some of these places. Some places are so dark, and so far away from light pollution, that it really looks like you can see the entire Universe when you look up at night.
Harry took me to one of those cool huts, that are IN the ocean. You just walk out the front door, and two feet in front of you, the ocean is right there. It's not deep. The huts are on poles like 4 feet up from the water, and there's a small boarded walkway leading across the water to each one. We spent one night there. We made slow, passionate love inside it, and outside of it. And in the water under it. It was the most amazing spot I've ever been to, and probably will ever be in for the rest of my life. He said we'd come back again sometime because I was literally one huge smile the entire time.
The clear, calm water with fish swimming around right under you was....just....I just can't stand the beauty of this world. It's just too much sometimes!
Sometimes I start to think about the 10 years worth of sunsets and sunrises I've missed out on. 10 years of not seeing a single star in the sky. Not seeing the sun, even.....I get so mad about it, how I was robbed of all that time. But I'm sure more than making up for lost time now, thanks to Harry.
I talk to my mum every few days and tell her all the crazy beautiful things I've seen. She loves hearing all about it. I text her tons of pictures, too. Whenever I take one that's so beautiful I can't even stand it, I text it to her.
I talk to my dad like once a week, too. He's on tour himself, right now, so he's busy. But he calls me when he can, so that makes me feel good, that it's not me bothering him. He's thinking about me, and his calls prove it.
I've face timed them both a few times, too, because I was missing them.
As for Lou, I've face timed him lots of times. Most of the time, Harry's there too, and we all talk and laugh. We'll "put Lou on the shelf" nearby, and we'll all just talk as if we were sitting in the living room of the flat together.
We text every single day, whenever we have anything at all to say. And I send him pictures that he'd be interested in too.
But guess what? He took my advice and called Emma! And he's actually dating her and things are going great! I'm sooo excited for him. So happy about it. But...yes, I do get a little twinge of "but what about our Triangle?" sometimes.
Like, when we get back, if he's still dating her, it won't be a triangle anymore, and that makes me sad. I mean, it will be, but he'll be out with her, or in with her, and then it'll be a....square....?
And what if I don't get along with her? So many stupid worries, but the main thing is, that he's happy right now, and that makes Harry and I happy.
When the accident happened, he was supposed to text her the day after the party. They talked about going out, while at Paul's. He lost his phone during the accident. It's probably sitting on the side of the road to this very minute, rotting away. Who knows.
By the time he woke up, and got out of the hospital, he mentioned that "I guess Emma will never happen." He didn't remember her last name or anything, so Harry asked every possible person he knew of that was at that party, if they knew an Emma.
No one did. She was obviously a friend of a friend, or something.
Well almost two weeks after we left on tour, Harry got a call from one of the people he'd asked, and they said they ran into her, and he got her number. The friend told Emma all about Lou's accident, and she felt horrible that she had gotten mad and deleted his name and number, thinking he was a deadbeat for never calling her.
Harry texted Lou the number one day, out of the blue. He simply texted him "Emma:" followed by her number.
Lou got the guts to call her one night, and they've been inseparable ever since! He sends us pics of them together and tells us all about their dates when we face time.
He texts me for advice sometimes, too. And Harry. He doesn't want to mess this up, because he really likes her. I think even more than he liked Chris. They seem to be a great match.
He had her with him when we all face timed the other night, so I finally got to "meet her". I liked her. She seemed to like me. I felt really awkward because Lou told her all about me. He told her he just wanted to be totally honest, because he's seen honesty in action, and it's done nothing but good for Harry and I.
He said she took it pretty well. She got a little insecure, but he said he won't be as close and "hands on" when we get back, so she won't have anything to worry about. He kind of made it seem like more of a stupid crush, so she'd have hope that he'd get over it. At least he's TRYING to be totally honest, even if he's not!
During face time one night when Harry went into a bar with his manager and security guard, and I didn't feel like it, Lou blinked to me. I was happy about it, yet...I wasn't. I hoped that soon he'd tell me that he was over me and he'll always love me as a friend, obviously, but that Emma was the one for him. Or something like that.
I blinked back to him, and nothing else was said about it. We knew what it meant.
Harry has front row tickets aside for Lou and Emma, along with my entire family, including the kids, and Harry's entire family when his tour comes near home. I can't wait to see everyone. He said it'll be a wicked party after the show. We only have one night there, though, and we leave again for other places in Europe, then we're done the tour.
HARRY'S POV:
Ahhhh, it felt great to be home! What a fun night that was. Sh.it! Instead of a hotel or the tour bus, we got to stay HOME! In our flat!! To sleep in our own bed again, I can't even tell you how great that felt. And Louis wasn't there. He was staying at Emma's that night, so we got to fvck wildly and loudly that night. THAT was the best part! I think we fvcked against every wall, and in every room, including the bathroom that night and morning. We couldn't stop.
Sure, we'd had lots of se.x during the tour already, but...something about being home, was like....an aphrodisiac for us both. We had to be quiet on the bus. We had to be quiet in hotels. We had to be quiet in dressing rooms and showers.....
We were like a fucking RODEO that night at home.
The London show was amazing, and I had lots of front row seats booked for my own special guests. After the show, we all partied like crazy at the venue, then took it to a local bar, who shut down just for us. Sid paid them well.
It was emotions all around when we were reunited with families. And with Lou. We did a special Triangle hug. And then we told Emma to get in with us, and do a Square. That's what Gwen had named it now.
She told us we were REALLY creative with names. That was a good start for her meeting us, making us laugh. That always works well. Just like sarcasm does.
Gwen and Emma got along great, it seemed like. Louis and I sat and watched the girls dance as we drank together, catching up, even though we'd seen him on face time a few times a week all tour. It's still easier to talk in person.
He told me how happy he is right now. And how perfect it was that he met Emma just in time for the tour, so he was never lonely.
I asked him if he still had feelings for Gwen, or if they were fading out or gone.
He got quiet and looked at her, and took a nervous sip of beer.
Before he could answer, I patted his shoulder and told him "Just curious mate. I understand."
He still loved her. I knew he would. I just thought maybe....it was possible.....
Maybe later. Maybe it's too soon yet.
The next day we left London for Dublin. It was a quick trip, but we had to say goodbye to everyone in the morning. So we all went out to breakfast, on me.
After, we said all our goodbyes, and there were a few tears, especially for Gwen.
When I said goodbye to Emma, she pulled me aside a few feet and asked me straight out. "So how do you deal with it?" I knew exactly what she was talking about.
I told her I just had 100% trust in both Lou and Gwen. And without that, I wouldn't be able to deal with it well at all. I told her she obviously wouldn't have that much trust in Louis yet, but that hopefully she'd stick around long enough to let him earn her trust, and make her see that she has nothing to worry about, and that he can love her just like he can love Gwen. I told her to please give him a chance. She told me she was, because she really liked him. I thanked her, and she thanked me for the advice, and we said our goodbyes. I told her to make sure he always wore his seat belt. And her too. She laughed and said she already does. I like her. She's really pretty, she's down to Earth, she's funny, sarcastic, and she can joke around about nasty sh.it too, which is even more fun. She's perfect for Lou. It seemed like they'll actually make it somewhere. But time will tell, of course. I have a good feeling about it.
Saying goodbye to Lou again was hard all over again. But we'd see him in a few short weeks, so it wasn't that bad. Gwen seemed to make sure she kept her goodbye with him short and sweet, so Emma wouldn't get scared away. Lou still seemed like he wanted a long, touching goodbye, though.
My parents approved of Emma, and they planned for Lou and her to come visit in the next week at their house. It was weird to watch everyone make their plans and talk about their normal every day lives, when my own life was like...on hold. I was taken out of it temporarily, cast out into the limelight, and soon I'd be planted back in it, and be forced to start where I left off, but things will have changed. Things already HAD changed. I'd need to catch up and deal with everything at once, where as everyone else had gotten to deal with everything one at a time.
It's just weird. Seeing everyone live their lives and go on without me. It kinda made me sad.
But it didn't bother me for long. This tour is fvcking AWESOME, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Well, I'd trade it for Gwen. But that's it. Ok, and maybe Lou. Fvck....the tour is great. There. Just take my word for it!