GWEN'S POV:
Louis is coming home today! Yay!!! I can't wait any longer. Just having him home, safe and sound with us, will be wonderful. And of course, BEING home, in general will be wonderful as well! It's been 8 days of living in the hospital. We haven't been home since we left our flat for Paul's party. It's hard to believe! And it's strange. Like, when you leave somewhere, you always expect to come home again when you're done. But sometimes...you don't. And life's strange that way. Lou almost didn't come back home. But I can't think of that too much, because I get too sad. It's happy time. He's alright, and he'll be home in a few hours. That's all I need to know.
Harry's parents visited Lou the day after the crash, and several other days, including getting to see him awake a few times. They stayed in our flat, so they wouldn't be far. And they brought us clothes and washed our dirty clothes a few times, too. Brought us everything we needed. Chargers, snacks, tooth brushes, etc....it worked out great. We showered in Lou's room, and lived off of the cafe, except when his parents would bring us take away food. That was nice.
They were pretty broken up when they saw Louis the first time. Harry's mum broke down big time. It was like a replay of her seeing Harry like that. His dad was tough, but I could see his face struggling to keep it under control. I left the room then, because I thought he might want privacy. Harry stayed and put his arm around him for support. But then his dad ended up supporting Harry while he had a cry on his dad's shoulder. I noticed it when I walked by the door to see if they were done yet. They weren't.
When they got to see him awake though, it was so much better. There were still tears. And kisses and more tears, but they were happy tears. I'll never forget the look I saw on Lou's face when Harry's parents said their goodbyes for the day, and turned to leave the room. I was sitting in the chair, across the room, trying to doze, but being kept awake by the pleasant conversation and joking between Lou and Harry's parents. Harry was off, taking a crap or something, which was another joke in itself that day.
They turned and started walking away, and I opened my eyes to see them go. Then I turned my eyes to see Lou, and he was just....smiling. He was watching them and smiling...a different smile than I'd ever seen on him. It was like...I don't even know. Proud. Happy. Loved. Astonished, even. What I felt when I watched him watch them walk away, was....appreciation, I guess. He looked so happy in that moment, that those two people took him and and made them a part of their family, that he almost couldn't believe his luck. That's what I took from his odd but heartfelt smile. It made me smile, and I closed my eyes again, and let him finish basking in his warm, fuzzy feelings in private.
When he woke up hours later after learning the entire story from Harry a few days ago, I FINALLY got to talk to him. I didn't wanna bother him the first time he woke up, and I didn't wanna bother his time with Harry but when he asked for me the next time he woke up, I was more than happy to have MY turn with him. He didn't actually ask for me. He sort of....dreamed about me. And called out for me in his dream. I was dozing in the chair, while Harry was getting us dinner in the hospital cafe.
I heard my name, and I jumped up. I didn't know who it was at first. I was confused. I looked around and saw Lou's head moving back and forth a little bit, and his eyes were closed. I got scared right away, and thought he was in pain or something bad was happening. He called my name again. That's when I realized he was dreaming. I went to his side and took his hand.
"Lou....Lou, wake up....are you dreaming?"
His eyes opened, and they looked scared. It made me sad. I brought his hand up with both of mine, and kissed it. "I'm here Lou. I think you were dreaming. Are you alright?"
He looked over at me and breathed out a jagged sigh that shook his chest a little.
"You're here", was all he said as he looked at me, like he was shocked that I was standing there.
"I'm here Lou. I've never left. I promised you...."
He cut me off "...that you wouldn't leave me. You promised me. You said you love me. And you told me to hold on and stay with you. You made me promise. And you......you promised me a kiss if I held on......" Lou repeated most of the things I'd said to him the night of his accident and I gasped loudly, my mouth falling open with surprise. He heard me during all that! He still looked scared though. Why did he look so scared?
"I heard you. I heard...words. Phrases. They were just echoing in my head just now. Like a dream, only a memory too. It was really weird, Gwen. It felt real, but yet...you felt so far from me.
The echoes of your voice started to fade away suddenly, like you were getting further and further from me. I tried to reach for you...but I couldn't get to you. I tried to hold on to your voice, but it just kept moving further away..... I felt....like you were leaving me...after you promised you wouldn't..." Lou said, looking down at his bed. He tilted his head back more and looked at the ceiling for a second, before closing his eyes. When they opened again, a single tear escaped the corner of his eye.
"Louis..." I said, my voice cracking. I leaned down and hugged him, and his arms came up around me and hugged me too.
"I should have known it was just a bad dream. I knew it in my head...but yet, I couldn't understand why you were leaving me. It was unreal. Impossible. I knew you wouldn't do that to me", Lou's voice muffled into my shoulder.
"Definitely just a nightmare. You know I'd never leave you Lou", my muffled voice going into his pillow next to his head.
When I pulled away to stand back up, his arms held me half way and I stopped.
"Hi", was all he said to me, and a big smile spread across his face.
My smile broke out and matched his, and I said "Hi" back. He let go, and I stood the rest of the way up. I gave him the "wait a second" sign with my pointy finger, and I went to pull the chair across to next to his bed. Then I kneeled on it, so I could lean on his bed with my elbows and be comfy but close to him. Like I'd done for Harry before.
He just watched me the whole time, with a big, goofy grin. It was so cute, I could hardly stand it. I could feel my heart speeding up, and I couldn't keep the big goofy grin off of my own face now.
I got all arranged and comfy and settled, and looked at him. I was comfy and close to him now.
"Better?" he asked, still grinning, but more of a smirk now.
"Mmmhmmm. You?" I answered.
"Helllllyes", he said.
"You talked to me a lot, didn't you? That night..." he started conversation.
"I did. Things just kept...pouring out of me. I couldn't help it, really. I was soooo scared, Lou."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were so scared", he said frowning a little.
"I'm sorry you got....boo boo's", I laughed a little. He laughed too.
"You're talking almost normal now. That's good! You sounded like shit earlier. Just sayin'!" I said, trying to keep the conversation light. I didn't want to stress him out or anything.
"Yeah. I sounded like a mentally handicapped person, didn't I? It sucked! It was so frustrating!"
"I was scared that you'd be like that forever. I didn't know what to expect."
"You'd stop loving me if I stayed like that", he grinned.
"Never." I smiled.
"I'll let you off the hook, you know" he said, and I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Huh? For what?"
"The kiss you owe me."
"Ohhhh...." I rolled my eyes and smirked. "No, I always pay my debt. You'll get yer kiss."
"But, you saved my life. You don't owe me MORE! I mean...what is THAT about?"
"It was all I could think of to bargain with you and make sure you held on and kept yourself here with us."
"Oh. So it was out of desperation. I see." he smirked at me.
"Exactly. I was pretty fucking desperate!" I joked, but yet...it wasn't a joke. I WAS pretty fucking desperate in those moments.
"Well, you don't have to. But thank you. Since I heard you say it, it probably helped me stick around. Made me want to do anything to get that damn kiss. And I couldn't get it if I let go". What started out as a smirkish smile, ended as a slight frown.
I squeezed his hand, that I hadn't even realized I was holding. "If that was the reason you lived, then you're getting your kiss, Lou. End of story."
"Sheeesh. Bossy little thing, aren't you?"
"When I have to be, yes." I said confidently.
"Fine. I'll do it. For YOU." He smirked again. He's a as.shole. But I love him.
"Don't strain yourself Lou!" I teased.
"Oh, that won't be a problem. I won't. When do you pay up? And...does Harry know about this owed kiss?"
"When you're home and showered and mobile. And he doesn't know. I'll tell him though. I'll do it right in front of him if I have to." I laughed. "I kinda forgot I promised you a kiss. Things were so hectic right then..."
"Oh great. Right in front of him. He'd LOVE that! NOT!! And, that's like....forever from now until I get out of here and get back on my feet! That's it. I'm letting go." he leaned his head back and started to close his eyes.
"Don't think I won't punch a head injury patient in the broken ribs!" I warned him. His eyes flew opened.
"Wow.......WOW.........you'd do that, wouldn't you? Add to my list of injuries. You're the WORST!" he teased me. But now MY smirk turned to a frown.
"Actually Lou, I AM the worst.....the broken ribs......they're........I did that. They're because of me." I lowered my head and looked at the bed. I still felt absolutely horrible.
He laughed. "Did you punch me so I wouldn't let go?"
"No. I gave you CPR." I looked at him to say that, then looked away again. My eyes stung, meaning tears were fighting to the surface.
"What do you.....how.....you really broke my ribs? You're fvcking with me, right?"
A few tears escaped my lids now. "No, I'm not. I did that. I feel so bad and I'm so sorry Louis. I can't believe that with all the injuries you had....I actually added to the list! I'm sooo sorry......". I pulled my lips together tightly and the sobby breaths came out of my nose.
"Gwen! Don't! Hey!!!! Gwen.......don't cry! Come on! You didn't mean it! I know that! I know you wouldn't purposely hurt me. Well....unless you were reeeeeally fucking pissed at me, then you might spazz out and scratch and beat me about the face and upper body, but.....besides that.....seriously.....I know you didn't mean it!"
I laughed a few times through my crying at his 'me beating him up' joke. Yes. I MIGHT do that. I DID do that in the past. I laughed more, which felt good.
"Of course I didn't mean it.....I was just....doing CPR. Just like I'd learned. The doctors said it happens a lot when someone has CPR done on them. Their ribs just crack from the force. It's common. BUT, that doesn't mean I don't feel absolutely terrible for it. Because I do. I feel SO bad. You didn't need MORE wrong with you, ya know? And because of me, you ha......"
"Because you YOU, I'm ALIVE, Gwen. Because of YOU, I'm sitting here right now, talking to you. Trying not to keep letting my thoughts keep going back to a possible kiss you say you'll give me in the future. Because of YOU, I'm breathing. Because of you......my HEART IS BEATING right now. I have LIFE!" Lou pep talked me. And he was right. I knew he was. I just.....it bothers me when I hurt someone! I can't help it!
"I know. I do. I just....never wanted to hurt you." I wiped my tears and tried to stop being pathetic.
"Well, you didn't hurt me. You did what you had to do to save me. Who knows...maybe the broken ribs helped you push on my heart better, and that's why it worked. From what I've heard, that sh.it doesn't usually work, anyway. So I'm still shocked it worked on me!"
"Maybe. I did think of that. Who knows if it's true or not." I told him, not knowing whether to believe it and make myself feel better, or not.
"Either way Gwen....don't feel bad. You saved my life. And you have NO idea how that makes me feel. Like....seriously.....the thoughts in my head because you did that.......like...I thought I loved you before.......that was...puppy love. The way I feel when I picture you sweating and laboring over my dead body, refusing to give up until you brought me back....you have NO idea what that feels like. What that does to me. And I hope you never do know. It's a bizarre, awesome, strange, and fvcked up thing, really." his lip trembled slightly, and his eyes watered, but no tears spilled. He swallowed hard, and forced it all away.
"I never give up on you. You know that. I never will." I whispered.
"I've noticed. Time and time again, I've noticed. Thank you." Lou rubbed his face, then laughed a breath out his nose. "Wouldn't it be easier though? If I had died, I mean. Like...I wouldn't be around to make this stupid love triangle. To complicate things for you and Harry. To stress him out. To make him feel like he has to...share you...in a way. It'd just be...simple, ya know?"
"Lou. Don't ever say that again! Don't even THINK that ever again. I'll break MORE ribs. I'm fvcking serious. Harry and I love you. And we need you here with us. I......LIKE our stupid love triangle! It took this accident to make me admit it, but...I LIKE that you love me. It's selfish, but...it makes me feel, I don't know....safe. Loved! You can't complicate things for us. It's not possible. I'll keep Harry until the last possible second I can get with him, and that will be it, forever. There's nothing that could change my mind, so you're not a complication to me. I WANT you around." I admitted to him.
The look in his eyes was full of wonder. Or something.
He pulled his hand that I was still holding tightly, and pulled my hand over to his mouth and kissed my hand this time.
"I'm glad you're alive to kiss my knuckles, Lou." I smiled down at him.
"Me too Gwen."
Just like that, Harry came walking in, holding a tray piled with food. He's been buying extra to sneak to Lou, cause he's a good friend that way. He remembers. Louis did it for him too.
"Enough of the mushy shit. I waited patiently in the hall for you to get done your little reunion and kissy plans n' sh.it, and now I'm fvcking STARVING, thanks to you two lovebirds. So shut the fvck up and let's eat!" he said with a grin, putting the tray down on Lou's rolling table, and handing him some stuff.
We just sat there, looking at him. He'd heard all of our talk. He already had stuff in his mouth and was chewing loudly.
He noticed our lack of movement, and our stares and stopped chewing, his eyes moving from Lou to me, then back and forth again.
"WHAT!?"
We all simultaneously broke out into hysterical laughter. Poor Lou's laughs had "Ow.....oh, ouch.....fvck......OW..." between them all. Ya know, because of a certain injury to his rib area, that we just won't think about right now, so we can all keep laughing and be happy in this moment. These moments were what it was all about. This was us. This was why I had to capture that picture of our hands all together. This is what I saw when I looked down at our hands. Moments like these.
----
Two Weeks Later....
HARRY'S POV:
Lou was all better now. His fractures were pretty minor, and they weren't bad enough for casts or anything, so that was nice. His head was all healed, and his road rash scrapes and wounds were pretty much gone. When we got home, we had to help him shower, make sure he didn't fall or anything to upset his head. I mean, he showered. We just had to help him in and out and stuff. He was still weak and shaky on his feet yet. The first few times, Gwen helped me with him, then as he got stronger, I could help him myself. It was actually amazing that we didn't drop him and send him right back to the hospital, because the whole showering process was pretty fvcking comical. The whole time, Lou's joking and acting like he's all bashful, whining about "But I don't want Gwen to see me nuuuuude! Hide me! Hide my winky!!!! She's looking! Harry, I saw her looooooking! Gwen, you per.vert! Harry! YOU'RE looking now! Just because you've never seen anything THAT BIG before, doesn't mean it's polite to stare...and drool! I swear to fvck, if you lick your lips, I'm OUT!"
We were seriously laughing so hard, it was hard to hold him. We almost fell a few times, and Gwen ended up slapping his nude as.s real hard finally, to get him to be serious, because it scared her that we almost fell with him. So from then on, he called her 50 Shades of Gwen. It was just good, hilarious times. We knew how to make fun out of anything.
He tried telling me that the doctor INSISTED on me wiping his as.s for him, but I told him to go fvck himself. He liked that idea, he joked, because he hadn't gotten to "do that" in a while. Gwen and I rolled our eyes and laughed out of the bathroom as he tried to tell Gwen that the doctor INSISTED he get plenty of hand jobs for a good recovery....
I turned and went back in with my hand out and ready, but Lou just screamed like he was getting ra.ped until we both laughed out of the bathroom. Again, as Lou called me nasty names.
Shower time was the most fun time for a while there. Louis. Is. Hilarious.
My parents had stayed the first few days he was home, just to help out. Not that we needed help, I think they just...wanted to be there for him.
It was worth it just for the touching moment I saw while I was making a late night snack the first night.
My mum was sitting on at the end of the couch, my dad was at the other end, and Lou was in the middle. They had been talking, and sort of watching tv, but Lou was getting tired quickly. He slept a LOT, still. His brain needed that time to heal, the doctors said.
His head kept dropping and then he'd pull it back up and he'd wake himself up.
Finally my mum reached over and pulled him onto her lap. He tried to arrange his legs on the coffee table, but they kept sliding, so my dad grabbed his calves and put them on HIS lap.
My mum sat there looking down at her 'illegally adopted son' and stroked her fingers through his hair as he fell asleep. I sat down on the chair quietly with my snack, and put my phone on silent, and took a few pics. I smiled to my parents, and they smiled contently back. Louis looked so content, I just wanted to go up and squeeze his wittle cheeks right then and there.
I felt all warm and fuzzy that he had "parents", and I was glad his parents were mine.
She stayed there for like an hour. I know she wanted to get up, but she insisted that I flip through the channels to find something to watch, so I did, so she could give Lou his cuddly time he'd missed as a kid. The two people I love more than anything, never had cuddly time as a kid. That made me sad. But it made me feel lucky as hell. I always loved my parents so much, but knowing Lou and now Gwen sure made me appreciate the great life I'd been given.
My dad in the meantime, leaned his head back and fell asleep with his mouth wide open. I took a few pics of just that, too. I'd text one to him later. Heh. I'm the best son ever.
----
I noticed a few medical bills come in the mail recently, that I knew Louis couldn't pay for. He wasn't even working right now. His boss said he'd hold his job, obviously, but it still scared him. He had no car now either. I already told him he could use mine to get to work, but he didn't want to leave me with no car. I'd get to him work somehow, if I had to drive him there and pick him up every day. I'd rent him a damn car. Buy him one. Whatever!
The medical bills would come, and I simply wrote checks out, put them in the included envelope, and sent them right back out, not letting him ever see them. It was nothing for me, really. I had the money, so why would I not? Gwen was standing above me one day while I wrote a check for one. When she noticed, she reached down and turned my chin towards her, and kissed me. "Best friend EVER", she said, then walked away.
We learned before we left the hospital, by the way, that the two people in the other car that caused the crash had died. One was hanging by a thread for a few days, and the driver had died instantly at the scene. They were around our age. They'd been to a party, and they were on their way home, too.
It was shocking to us, and it sort of ruined our "get home" day to think about. But at the same time....the driver chose to drive drunk. They chose not to wear their seat belts. AND.....that driver almost killed my best friend. ALSO, it could have been Gwen and I, if we'd left the party a minute or two earlier. I remember her kissing me when we got into the car. For no particular reason, she just....leaned over and we kissed for a few minutes. THAT kiss, might have actually saved our lives. We were wearing our belts, but...it still could have been really bad.
So yeah....lots of sobering (literally) thoughts about what happened that night. The passenger...he had a record of driving drunk already, which is why he probably made his drunk friend drive this time, so he was no better, really. It's not that he didn't want to drive drunk. It's that he didn't want to get caught and go to jail, is all.
Still, no one deserved to die, of course. I don't mean to sound heartless....but you just....you gotta think about your choices BEFORE you make them in life. Come on people!
I found myself wondering occasionally if Gwen gave Lou that kiss she said she owed him yet. I hadn't said anything since after I heard them talk about it in the hospital that day. I figured if it came up, she'd tell me, so I didn't bother mentioning it anymore. But I did wonder sometimes. Would she still do it? What was she waiting for? I didn't think HE'D bring it up, risking pissing me off. So....maybe it just wouldn't happen. Which was fine with me. But it was.....fine with me, oddly enough, if it DID happen. I mean...Lou HEARD her say it, even though he was floating in and out of consciousness that night. He almost died during that ride to the hospital. She had every good intention making that offer, knowing that it could be what kept him fighting for his life, and not giving up. Gwen might have saved his life TWICE that night. We'll never know! So, in a way, I hope he gets his kiss soon. I'm just....not bringing it up, is all.
Ever since the accident, Lou's been having nightmares. He'd never had any before, even though he had a shit childhood. But this accident...almost dying. Well, actually dying, must have triggered fear in him, because now, most nights, he wakes up yelling and sweating. We actually wondered if his seizures were brought on by his nightmares. Again, we'll never know. But it makes sense to us. We're just glad the seizures are gone. Nightmares, we can deal with.
Sometimes it's just the gaps in his memory that haunt him in his sleep. Sometimes it's the whole thing in general that freaks him out. Sometimes he hears everything Gwen said to him that night. He hears the medical people too, and sometimes he even hears me crying. In those nightmares, he always wakes up yelling out for Gwen, because in the dream, she always starts fading away and he can't get her back, no matter how hard he tries. Those are the nights only she can console him. He just needs to hold her tight and not let her get away from him for a few minutes, until his mind clears up and he knows that she's not going anywhere.
He always looks at me when he comes to, and mouths "I'm sorry" to me, with a face full of terrible guilt, then he gets up the nerve to let go of her.
He's even dreamed of his mum and dad, too. And sometimes, he dreams of a speeding train, going so fast, that it's out of control. He woke up yelling for Gwen that night too. He woke up yelling my name a few times, too. In one dream, HE was ME in the hospital, with a bullet wound and collapsed lung and all that....another dream was that I kicked him out of his entire life and family and flat and all. That I told him he was a leech and to never come back again.
Pretty much everything bad that happened in his life....he has nightmares about it now.
I mean...the doctors were surprised that he was fully functioning and mentally and physically fine after he woke up, so I guess if you're gonna have some sort of an after effect from the accident, nightmares seem like the best way to go.....even though they suck AS.S when you're having them. I know that. He's consoled me plenty of times over the years from my own bad dreams.
But if that's his only problem, then I'd say he lucked out. And the doctor seems to think his nightmares will fade out over time, as his brain continues healing. OR, the trauma from the whole event just.....messed with his head too much. I did mention our shrink to him, though, if he feels like maybe trying to talk everything out, to see if that makes the bad dreams stop.
Sometimes he says he dreams of maybe where he went when he died...he even dreamed one night, vividly, that he saw Gwen kneeling over his side, working on him. He dreamed the whole thing one night. We think he just made up an image in his head, when we told him the story, so now he dreams of it. BUT....the thing that really fvcks us all up in our minds, is that he said he saw her, like he was standing 10 feet away on the road, and that she had blood all over her face, and mostly her lips. When he described that to us the one night after waking up yelling out in his sleep, Gwen's face went pale and she sucked in a long, sharp breath. We both turned to her to see what was wrong. I already knew what was wrong, because I had seen it too.
"Lou, I had blood all over my lips. And in my mouth. I tasted so much of your blood, I had to concentrate on not gagging and messing up your breaths. My lips kept sliding off of yours...My entire mouth was covered in your blood...."
We all just looked at one another and sat there silent in thought for a few moments after him describing that scene. We didn't know WHAT to think about that. I mean...I had told him the story in pretty good detail, so....it could have just been what his mind pictured as I told him. But...I don't remember mentioning the blood on her mouth from her trying to resuscitate him. I didn't mention how when I walked into the emergency room waiting area and saw her, her mouth was still coated with his dried blood, and how I finally got her up and took her to the bathroom and helped her wash off her face in the sink after the doctor told us they'd let us in soon.
I don't think I'd mentioned the blood much. Just that he was covered in it when I saw him.
It was the weird things like this, that made us all stop and wonder....was there an actual afterlife? CAN you see the scene after you die? I didn't see anything like that when it happened to me. And Gwen has never mentioned anything. We did hear each other, here and there, through out our floating in and out of consciousness those times, but...nothing weird like Lou's story.
He swears he dreamed it that night, and had never pictured it before. And he's not all religious or anything, so he's not lying.
I finally broke our silent "woooooaaaaahhhhhhhh" fest, by making a joke. "Oh GREAT. Gwen, you never drank MY blood. NOW I'm officially jealous."
That set us all off laughing, and Lou felt better and we all went back to sleep.
Speaking of sleep, sometimes Lou's dreams really mess him up bad for the night, so when us laying next to him and trying to fall asleep beside him in HIS bed didn't work, we coaxed him into OUR bed and surrounded him a few times. He tried to resist, but I know him. He's a cuddly, sensitive guy, and he always asks for, or accepts help when he needs it, so it didn't take long for him to say "Fine....but remember my rule about the threesomes...if this is a trick, I swear to God guys!"
Oh Lou...always making a joke.
We tucked him in, putting him in the middle, and pretty much spooned him from both sides all night.
He joked more, of course, saying that he feels really really bisexual right now. More so on his right side, for some reason. We lost it with more laughter, but then fell asleep quick.
I'd keep waking up a lot during nights when he was in our bed with us, because I kept putting my arm around him to pull him close to snuggle....thinking he was Gwen! So I'd notice she felt really....muscly and manly, and my eyes would pop open in shock and I'd move away. Not before noticing him spooning her though. I'd roll my eyes, growl a little in my throat, but then Gwen's confidence about her love for me would echo in my brain, and I'd get over it, and just feel happy for Lou. Enjoy while ya can......again. BUDDY.
Grrrr.
I took a few pictures of them like that and texted them to them later during like dinner or something. Whenever we were all together, JUST to make it fully and completely awkward for them both, right in front of me. I might as well get something out of it, right? Hahahahahha.
They'd both pull out their phones when they both went off at the same time, and look at the picture, then look at each other, then they'd both look over at me, sitting there with a satisfied smirk on my face. And I'd say my usual, innocent "WHAT!??"
They'd roll their eyes, but then they'd blame each other for whoever was spooning who in the picture, and WHY they accidentally did it. He wasn't conscious to even realize it, and her excuse was that she thought it was me.
I told her that I could tell in my sleep that Louis wasn't Gwen when I accidentally did it, but she stuck to her story. "I just love getting a rise out of you babe", I'd let her off the hook. I knew our bodies actually weren't that different from each other's.
And then one time, Lou got me right back. "Speaking of rise.....you DO try and spoon up to me, because last night I woke up to SOMETHING pressing onto my ARSE when you made your little sleepy mistake there, MATE!"
Gwen LOST IT. She like.....lost it completely. She snorted really loud, which was REALLY cute, I thought. She was laughing so hard, she was falling off the sofa, not able to even catch her breath. She laughed to the point of actual CRYING. Girls do that sometimes, apparently. I've seen others do it, too. They laugh so hard, that they actually start literally crying! It's so weird. So yeah, she did that. I think it's sort of a "hidden stress" thing. When they have stress built up, it seems to happen. And the picture and accusations against her about spooning Lou probably stressed her more than she led on. Maybe I'd stop putting her on the spot like that. Both of them, because it probably stressed them both out. That was the moment I realized I shouldn't tease them like that anymore.
I couldn't help it though! It was funny to see them squirm! Hey, if I have to deal with their little "romance", then they do too, dammit! I stopped teasing them.
......Mostly.
My tour starts in two months. I had called my manager and told him to rearrange sh.it. Move it all back a month or so, so I could be here for Lou's healing and for us to get all back to normal again.
He was kinda mad, since I've not even done hardly ANY promo for the album before, or after it was released. I told him that only feeds the fans into frenzies, and I didn't want to not be able to walk down the street with my girlfriend, so I was doing this MY way. Others have done it. I didn't need to be spread all over the covers of magazines. If people liked my songs, then great. It was about the music. Not the attention. I knew I could be WAY richer from over exposing myself to the media.
But I just didn't want that. Before Gwen, I probably would have gone with the flow.
But now....not so much.
My manager called me back a week later, and said he moved the first month of tour dates to the END of the tour, and kept all the rest of them the same. I'm a pain in his ass. But he loves me. And the money I make him.