Chapter 29:
Clear Things Out
(Abbie's POV)
I woke up, feeling a massive headache. My stomach was turning upside down and I could taste bile filling up in my throat. I was too weak to even stand up and rush to the bathroom. In addition, I felt weight on top of me. I looked down and saw someone's huge arms hugging me tightly. Worst part, we were both naked.
Wait-what?
I tried to move and shake his hand off but then I felt this unbearable pain between my legs. I had a hard time bending them as I try to bear the pain and get off the bed. I don't remember much of what happened. All I know was that I was very devastated about something. Then my hormones excitingly craved for Harry's touch, his passion, his understanding- did we...?
I was now sitting on the floor with my back against the bed. The fallen part of the white blanket was covering my lower region as I try to calm my breathing. Were we even safe? Just as I was about to throw up in the small trash bin beside me, I saw the used protection. Thank God. But wait.. I'm not a virgin anymore? I-
My phone vibrated on the side table and I desperately hope it doesn't wake Harry up. Gladly it didn't.
From: AaMom
Hey dear! How was Hazza's birthday?
Great. This is really not a good time for me to be talking to her. What am I supposed to say? Hey mom! Well we had sex last night. I miss you. Bye. Nope. Not a good idea. I deleted the message and typed in Eleanor's name.
"Abbie? You okay?" She answers on the third ring.
"Eli? Where are you?" I asked.
"I'm in my ro-"
"Is Louis there?"
"No. I'm with Perrie. He's out for grocery with Zayn. Is everything okay?" She sounds concerned and it made me feel much better.
"I'll explain later." I stood up from my position, not minding my nakedness since Harry's really passed out. "Is Niall around?"
"He hasn't been here since last night." Eleanor tells me.
Well he's probably off with that girl whose name I don't even want to mention.
I was about to reply when I saw Harry shift his position. Shit I think he's going to be awake now. I grabbed the nearest piece of clothing and zoomed out the room, closing the door quietly.
A towel. Just perfect.
I knocked twice on the room where the girls would probably be in. Perrie opened the door and there was complete shock on her face as she scanned my body.
"Uhh.. Hey?" I awkwardly said, gripping the towel tightly.
"Did yo- wait- what hap-"
"Can I come in?" She nodded and I locked the door behind me. I saw Eleanor in her pajamas, sitting on the sofa with one leg raised up on the tiny coffee table. She too looked shock.
By the look on their faces, I think they already get it. I plopped down on the floor, burying my head between in my arms. It's not that I regret doing it with my best friend. I don't. But it's like I cheated. I haven't settled things with Niall yet, and here I am, losing my virginity to someone who's not even my boyfriend.
"I saw Zoe last night." Eleanor tells me. "She was with Niall."
"I thought you're smart enough to know why I left early." I snap. I didn't mean to be rude.
"Calm down girl. Of course I know why. I was surprised actually that Harry left with you." She replies, sitting on the floor with me. "Niall's a jerk. But that's not what I want to talk about. Tell us what happened right after that."
These girls in front of me are my best buds. They will understand. Besides, it's not like they haven't done it with their guys.
"We got back and I cried. I needed comfort you know? Rather than just be alone. With Harry, it's like everything fell into place. It's like it was him that I've been waiting for all these time. And then it happened." I sighed, not looking at them. I was playing with the hem of the towel and flashbacks of what went on last night kept rewinding in my head.
"You love him don't you?" Perrie asks.
"Yes." I said straightforward. I didn't have doubts. Because I do love my best friend. All this time.
She smiled, "You guys ready to take it to the next level?"
I am. "What about Niall?"
Eleanor took hold of my hand and brushed the hair off my cheeks, "Niall's an easy guy to talk to. He's understanding. You should know that."
Weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders. That's all I have to do. I have to talk and settle things with Niall before I could confirm what is going between Harry and I.
Simple, right?
"If you mind, I really need a shower." I admitted. They laughed and I joined them.
I got out of the room and proceeded back to where I was supposed to be. I took a deep breath before turning the knob. I don't know how I would react if I still see Harry lying on the bed, either he's already dressed, or still absolutely naked.
But-wait, the room's empty. Half of me is relieved but the other half is disappointed. Did he regret what happened last night? I mean where would he be? He... left?
I entered the bathroom and turned on the shower. I really need to clean myself up, though my legs still seemed swollen.
"I just wanted to say you are so beautiful." He admitted. Blood rushed to my cheeks and I saw him unbotton his checkered polo before taking it off, revealing his tanned skin and abs that perfectly lined up on his body.
I can't help but smile. Why the hell am i smiling? I'm taking a shower and i should be focusing on that. Not other things.
"Are you sure?" Harry asks me as we are now clothe-less lying on the mattress. I know, I'm still a vi-
I heard the room's door open, then close. Oh shit, is that Har-
"Abbie? You in here?" Niall. My heart started hammering in my chest as I felt nervous and my knees begin to shake. I can't go out there with just a towel on. I know he's seen me with just it before, but this time is going to be different. I feel insecure. One person has seen me clothe-less already, and I have to keep it that way. Two is too much.
I quickly rinsed off and searched for something to wear in that bathroom. Okay so I got my fresh undergarments here. But I still feel exposed. Then I saw Niall's Miami Heat jersey. That's enough to cover me up- leg exposure isn't really that bad.
"Hey." I greeted him, as soon as I got out. He sat on the bed, back against the headboard, still wearing last night's outfit. I wonder where he went after the party.
"Can we.." He looked up to me, probably wondering why I was wearing his jersey.
"Mind if I borrow this for a while?"
"Uhh yeah sure." There was the awkward silence and it's slowly killing me inside.
"Can we talk?" We both said in sync. I crawled up to the bed so I can sit with him, my back against his chest. I felt comfortable, in a friendly way.
He brushed his fingers through his dirty blonde hair as he spoke, "About last night..." I let out a sigh as he continued. "I know you saw Zoe and I- I don't know how to tell you this but.."
"You kissed? Yeah, I saw that. I was just like a meter or two away from you." My tone was neutral and I think he noticed. His hands were sweating when I tried to hold them.
"Oh my God. I'm so sor-" He was cut off by the sound of the door knob turning. I myself was surprised too that I almost jumped on him. "Don't worry it's locked."
"Niall?" The hoarse voice asks. "You in there?"
"We'll be out in a few, mate." He replies, sounding like he's having an orgasm. I mean really though.
"Who would that be?"
"Probably Louis or Zayn back from grocery shopping." He answers, still sounding the same.
"You alright?" I asked, voice low. He looked at me, biting his lip. He raised his hand with his finger pointing down below.
"Shit- sorry!" I screeched after noticing I had my elbow squishing his groint. "I didn't mean to. Sorry Niall!" I didn't feel it was what I actually meant but hey, this is not the issue right now.
"Kinda hurt though." He scrunched his nose, rubbing his bottom. He looked so cute I just had to laugh at him. "Okay, enough. Now where were we?"
"The kiss?" I lead him on.
"You know what's new to me?"
"You felt butterflies when you kissed her?"
"No, i meant at this moment."
"What?"
"You seem like you don't care at all. Like I didn't hurt you somehow. I was expecting you to yell at me, curse me, hit me, or maybe not talk to me. Worse, break up with me." What he said was so straightforward, as if he didn't have doubts letting it out.
I shift uncomfortably, moving away a bit. "That's kind of what I wanted to talk about too."
"Wha- which part?"
"You love her don't you?" I asked him. "You enjoyed your kiss and probably went somewhere farther than that since you didn't come back last night."
"I don't." He tells me. "And I didn't come back last night since I wanted to prepare myself to handle your reaction. I love you Abbie. I don't want to lose you."
Pain. That's what I felt. I didn't want to believe him. I can't believe him. What I saw was real. He enjoyed their kiss. This could've been better if he was just honest.
"I never intended to cheat on you. I mean I was just devastated with you always wanting the best for Harry but not for me. I don't know how to understand that you're just best friends. You just look happier when you're with him. But believe me, I won't cheat on y-"
"I did something worse." I blurt out, my eyes starting to get filled up with tears.
"What?" He asked confused.
"I did something worse." I repeated myself. "I don't know how to tell you this but.."
"But?"
"I always have thought of Harry as more than just a best friend. But that doesn't mean i didn't love you. I still do actually, but not the same as before.." Tears streamed down my face and I swear Niall didn't look surprised but I can tell he was hurt.
"I've been waiting long enough for you to say that." His thumb brushed the tear off my cheek. "I knew it after we played golf. Remember? I told you I love you. All you said was me too."
"I- I ca-"
"Hush now." His finger covered my lips, shutting me up. "I can't keep forcing you to love me when I already know you don't. So I guess it's just better if I let you go. Thank you so much for being honest with me.."
"I still haven't told you one thing." My breathing was heavier than a while ago and I couldn't stop myself from snobbing.
"Alright, what is it?"
"I.." This is it. He deserves to know. "..had sex with him last night."
"Woah." was all he said. "You broke your rule, princess!" He joked. Niall Horan is actually laughing.
"You- you're not mad?" I questioned, sniffing.
"Should I? You just told me you love him. There's nothing wrong with doing that with the one you love. Now stop crying, you're gonna get booger all over the sheets!"
I spat his arm, laughing along. I really am bipolar aren't I? At least this went well, no, better than I expected.
"So what does this make us now?"
"Hmm.." I crossed my arms in front of my chest, wiggling my eye brows at Niall. "Friends?"
"Best friends." He corrects, wrapping me in his arms. I hugged him back, squeezing him tighter. "I love you." He whispers.
"I love you too. As my best friend." There was a glint in his eyes and I know he's happy, because I am too. "Thanks for understanding."
"That's what friends are for right?"
"It absolutely is." I winked, pushing myself to peck him on the lips.
"Hey!" He yells, pushing me off. "I don't want your boyfriend beating me up again."
"He's not my boyfriend. Yet." I remind him, emphasizing the last word.
"Really? Not after last night? Seriously though, I don't want to go on stage with a black eye."
"You won't!" I assure him. "Funny how he beat you up last time coz he thought you took my virginity." I giggled, remembering that moment.
"And it turned out he was the one who did."