“Is this about me learning my boundaries, or you learning yours?” Tor’s voice sounded strained, and he took a step back.
“I know what our limitations are, but I also know what we’re capable of, are you willing to take that chance? Because I won’t be lenient on this.” Konai’s shoulders stiffened as his tone changed.
“Konai… I’m okay. I was okay before, and I think I’m okay now.” Tor’s voice still sounded strange, and I peeked around Konai’s shoulder again. Tor was slowly shifting his weight from side to side, as though he were embarrassed or nervous. He also glanced repeatedly around the open woods and back to Konai.
“Tor? Are you okay, do you need me to leave?” I tugged on Konai’s arm to move it out of the way, but he remained frozen in place, a barrier between me and the other guardian. If my leaving meant that Tor could stay and enjoy an evening with the other guardians, then I would leave. I might miss Konai, but staying here seemed to mean a lot to Tor.
Tor glanced down at me and took another step back. “N-no, I’m just….. I need a minute, to think.” He looked away and then at Konai.
“Tor….” Konai tried to take a step forward, but Tor held his hand up and he stopped. I immediately missed the warmth of Konai’s body as he shifted to take another step, and I wondered how dangerous it would be for me to move towards him. I decided not to take that chance.
Konai sighed and extended his hand slowly, “I know how you feel, and I’m sorry, but it will be better tomorrow, I promise.” He turned and gestured to the other boys still sitting at the fire behind us, “I’ll understand, all of us will… if you need some time.”
“I’m sorry, this isn’t….. I can’t.” He took another slow step back.
“You can’t what, Tor?” I asked softly, moving as slowly as I could to the side, so I could see him. I was seriously confused, what couldn’t he do? Could Tor not be around me, or could he not handle being around all of us? “And what’s wrong with your voice, you sound different.”
Tor frowned, then exhaled slowly. Painfully. “I’m sorry.” He backed up another step, and as Konai reached a hand out to him, Tor turned and ran so quickly that all I could see was the trail of leaves and snow that were kicked up in his wake. Konai sighed and dropped his hand, then closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Teddy walked up and patted him on the arm, “It’s okay, he’ll come back.”
“We’ll go get him.” Koda and Tin both stood, but Konai shook his head.
“No, this is between me and him, I’ll go.” Konai pointed back towards the fire and the two boys sat down.
Teddy grabbed his arm gently, “Are you sure you’re okay to do this? You’re not very strong.” He’d whispered it low, as though he didn’t want me to hear him. The two guardians stared at each other a moment, then Konai smiled.
“I’m as strong as I need to be Teddy, I’m just a little tired. Stop worrying about me, or I’ll start calling you ‘mom’.” He placed a hand on Teddy’s shoulder, “Don‘t worry, I‘ll be fine.”
“Of course you will, I’m going with you.” Teddy grinned and took a step forward, “For… moral support.” He wrapped an arm around Konai’s shoulder, an encouraging gesture, and Konai smiled appreciatively. Teddy squeezed his shoulder and dropped his arm, then he turned to look at me.
Konai paused and turned too. “Andrea, I’ll be right back, okay?” He didn’t take a step towards me and I shivered. I missed being close enough to touch him, and part of me wished he wouldn’t go. I wanted him to stay, but knew he had some things to straighten out with Tor. Well, I wasn’t sure exactly what things, but I knew that he needed to speak with the other guardian, privately.
“You cold?” Teddy unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off.
“No, no I’m fine.” I waved him off. I wasn’t cold, just slightly unnerved by Tor running away from us, from me. He couldn’t stand to be around me, and that thought was a little frustrating, if not confusing. I was Konai’s manak amkara, wasn’t that enough for him, didn’t that make it okay for me to be around him and the others? I shivered again, then grumbled under my breath as Teddy wrapped his coat around my shoulders.
Konai stepped forward and placed his fingers under my chin. Tilting my face up, he forced my eyes to meet his. “I will be right back, I need to go talk to Tor for a little bit. Stay close to the guys, and out of trouble.”
“And what trouble am I going to get into here?” I opened my arms and held them wide, “In the middle of nowhere?”
He laughed and stepped into my arms, then hugged me gently. “Be good, and listen to the guys, they’re usually right,” He glanced at the other guardians, “…most of the time.”
I laughed lightly and hugged him back, “Be good, and come back to me in one piece, or I’m kicking someone’s butt.” I tilted my head and kissed the side of his neck, and felt him shiver, “And don’t be gone long, because I already miss you.”
Konai squeezed me again and pulled back, “Don’t worry so much, I’ll have Teddy with me.” He looked back at the small fire, “Miki, please watch after Andy while we’re gone.”
I turned in time to see Miki’s mouth drop open. “What? Me?!? But, but I….”
“Yes, you.” Konai moved to the side and started walking up the hill with Teddy.
“Why?” Miki called out, though he didn’t sound irritated.
“Because.”
The other guardians chuckled at Konai’s answer, and I gave Miki my most sympathetic look. I felt bad that he’d basically been told to baby-sit me. He just shrugged and cleared off a spot on the log beside him for me to sit, but I didn’t walk back to the fire. I glanced up the hill towards Konai and Teddy, watching as they disappeared beyond the next rise.
I thought one of the boys would ask me to join them back at the fire, but they left me to my thoughts, and I stood staring out into the woods, not sure of what to think. Tor left because of me, that seemed obvious. And Konai was angry, or at least, at first he was. But then he had seemed sad when Tor wouldn’t let him get too close. Why would Tor be afraid of Konai? There was so much I didn’t understand and still didn’t know, but I didn’t want to ask the other guardians what was going on. I knew sharing their secrets with me wasn’t that big of a deal, because I was Konai’s manak amkara, and would eventually know everything anyways. But I also knew that most of what the guardians could tell me, they had already shared. They were in agreement that everything else should be explained by Konai.
Part of me wanted to rush into the trees, to hunt him down and ask him to tell me everything. Maybe if I knew everything, there wouldn’t be problems between me and the other guardians, especially after their birthdays.
It was common sense that kept me rooted in place, staring into the darkness where Konai had disappeared. A breeze blew past me, and I slid my arms through Teddy’s jacket and pulled the collar up around my neck. It was already late, and getting cold, and I wondered how long everyone planned on staying out there in the woods.
“Andy, do you want to come sit by the fire? It’s a lot warmer over there, and you look kinda cold.” Cailan stepped up beside me and looked back at the fire. I followed his gaze and nodded, though I didn’t really want to move. I’d already convinced myself that if I stayed in one place waiting for them to return, they would come back that much faster. Of course, that wasn’t the best logic. Neither was staring at the spot where they’d disappeared, hoping they would change their minds and come back. I walked carefully around the fire, keeping a safe distance, and sat down where Miki had saved a spot for me.
“Would you like something to drink?” Koda reached behind him and pulled up a small cooler. “I have water, juice, um…water and… did I mention water?” He smiled politely and I nodded.
“Sure, water would be great.” I caught the bottle as he tossed it, and I fidgeted for a moment with the lid, then took a long drink. I tried to blank my mind and not think about anything.
Miki patted my leg, “Don’t worry, he’ll be okay.”
I sighed and met his gaze. “Are you talking about Konai or Tor?” The group of guardians chuckled and I smiled softly.
“Well, I meant Konai, but Tor will be okay too.” Miki pulled the glasses off his face and tucked them into his shirt pocket. “You see, he’s in a lot of pain right now and…”
“Wait, he’s in pain?” I interrupted, shocked.
Nalu smiled sadly, “Well, yes. You see, everything usually happens all at once, but for some reason, he gained some of his powers a little early, and being stuck in the middle of that kind of a transition, it can be confusing and painful.”
“True,” Miki agreed. “Everything becomes acute, all our senses hard-wired for being a guardian. Right now his senses are much stronger than they would be normally, but he doesn’t have the benefit of being fully changed. It’s hard for him, physically and mentally, to cope with all the information that’s being pushed at him. Once he’s past his birthday, everything will kind of… flow. Everything will seem natural and he’ll be able to handle things much easier.”
“So, this isn’t about me?”
“What do you mean?” Hhan leaned forward, a frown crossing his features.
“Well, he left because I was here, right? He wouldn’t have had to leave if I hadn’t come here tonight.” I picked up a small stick and tossed it into the fire, “I’m sure he would have been fine if it had only been other guardians here tonight. Doesn’t that make it my fault that he ran away?”
“No Andy, it’s not your fault.” Dasan stood and walked over to sit on the other side of me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gave me a gentle hug, “People don’t make the best decisions when they’re scared or hurting, and Tor… well he was in a lot of pain. And knowing that he wasn’t fully changed, and possibly not able to control his actions, that might have worried him and added to the reasons he felt in necessary to leave.”
Miki nodded, “It was in his best interest to leave, and he may not be able to come back.” That fact upset me, but he held up a hand to stop me before I could speak. “Sometimes the best way to deal with a situation is to take a step back and look at it from a different perspective, to take yourself out of the equation if need be.” He ran a hand through his hair, “Tor may have seemed okay earlier, but it’s been a few hours and he needed to stop and think about how much stress he’s handled today, and how much more, if he stayed.”
“I guess that makes sense.” But I was still sad that Tor had left. I really wished that he would be okay, that he would be able to come back and join us.
Hhan chuckled, “When has Miki ever not made sense. The guy is like a walking dictionary.”
Koda laughed, “I think you mean encyclopedia.”
Cailan threw his head back and laughed too, then added, “Nah, he‘s a walking library, leave it at that.”
Miki made a disgruntled sound in the back of his throat and pivoted towards me, ignoring the laughter that came from the other guardians. “Andy, don’t worry about Tor leaving, there is a chance he could come back, and if he doesn’t, we’ll all see him tomorrow.”
There was a strum of a guitar and I heard Koda’s voice sing softly, “The sun will come out…. tomorrow.” The boys laughed again, and even Miki started to smile. Koda strummed a different cord and changed it to a faster song that I didn’t know. Hhan leaned to the side and reached behind the log, then sat back holding up a small drum. He started tapping away at it, in rhythm with Koda.
I sat quietly as the boys played something that sounded a bit like Rock music, and spent the next few minutes staring into the flames as the boys talked amongst themselves. They talked about Konai and Teddy, and of course the conversation would come back around to Tor. I knew they were only trying to keep themselves occupied until the boys came back, and talking seemed to be the best idea. But listening to what they were saying, describing what Tor was going through, was hard.
The air around us had warmed considerably, and I shrugged Teddy‘s jacket off and stood. For some reason I felt the need to stretch my legs. Or maybe I needed to get away from the fire. Though it wasn‘t bothering me, not really. The fire was small and well built, with a tiny rock wall around it. And the logs to sit on were far enough away that I wasn’t in danger of tripping and falling into the fire. I was actually surprised that it didn’t bother me. Even though it was small, I had never handled fire very well. That is, until that day in the hikers shack.
Another breeze blew past me, ruffling my hair, and I walked forward, scanning the tree’s. I had to admit, being this far into the woods was a little unnerving, and even though the odds of being attacked by a polar bear were pretty slim, I still wanted Konai to hurry back. Polar bears weren’t close to us now, and shouldn’t have been anywhere near us that day in the park. I crossed my arms in front of me and looked around the snow-covered ground. The mother and cubs had been so far off track, part of me wondered what had caused them to wander so far south. Being attacked by a grizzly bear would have made more sense.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about bears and Konai. Not wanting to think about him out in the woods with no real protection. That’s what I felt like. Like I was his protection and I was letting him down by not being there. My fingers twitched and I dropped my hands to my sides. I wanted to walk out into the woods, to make sure he was okay, and to make him come back.
No, it wasn’t only wanting to, it was needing to. I needed to go out into the woods.
My fingers twitched again, and I jumped when I heard a branch snap behind me. Tin walked up and held out his hand. “Would you like to dance?” He smiled politely.
I looked back at the boys, the small group nodding and tilting their heads to the up-tempo music the other two guardians were playing. “I, um… I don’t really know how to dance to hip-hop or rock, or… whatever it is. So far Maggie’s only taught me the basics of ballet and some ballroom. Sorry.” I blushed when Hhan smiled at me and started banging the drum louder.
Tin turned and winked at Koda, and the boy stopped playing, then strummed a light chord, then played a lovely slow song. Hhan frowned, then shrugged, and started thumping lightly on the edge of the drum. I half expected the other boys to laugh, but they all sat quietly and watched the other two play.
Tin coughed and I glanced at him again. He made a low dramatic bow, then held out his hand once more. “Would you care to dance mademoiselle?”
I giggled, then covered my smile as he stood straight and looked at me seriously. “Oh, I’m sorry Tin. I couldn‘t tell if you were joking or not.” I blushed again, suddenly embarrassed.
Tin barked out a loud laugh and stepped forward quickly, pulling me into his arms. “I told you I’d dance with you.” He moved gracefully to the side and back again, pulling me around the edge of the small camp. “Or do you not like classical music?” His tone was teasing as he dipped me slowly and pulled me back up again.
To say I was shocked would have been an understatement, and I laughed as he moved gracefully and spun me around, “Actually, I love classical music. And Swan Lake is one of my favorites…” I turned and gave an appreciative smile to Koda and Hhan, who smiled in response. They were doing a wonderful job playing. “I’m just surprised, I never knew you were into this kind of stuff.”
“Well, my grandfather loves watching old movies, and he’s addicted to all things classic.” He smiled as he let go of me and turned to the side, then spun and grabbed my hand again, “And after watching old video tapes a few hundred times, you start to remember stuff.” Tin pulled me close and then turned us around, “He also has this old dinosaur of a record player, with a phonograph and everything. He plays old vinyl’s all the time, and you have to admit, some of that music is kinda catchy.”
I laughed as he started humming along with the music as we danced. “You know, I admit to watching the same kind of movies, and I haven’t seen a gramophone in ages, but I don’t think you could’ve learned to dance quite this well, just by watching old films.”
He nodded, “Of course not, I also watched you guys at dance practice.”
I gasped, then stumbled. Tin caught me and pulled me upright, and I stared at him blankly, “Wait, what do you mean? You watched dance practices? My dance practices?” I felt my cheeks growing hot again as we danced closer to the boys.
“Yeah sure. All the time.” Tin sounded as though it wasn’t that important of a fact. “Konai likes to check out the town in the evenings, just to make sure everything is the way it should be. You know, a place for everything, and everything being in the right place.” He paused to hop over a log and then pulled me over it, then he spun me around again and caught me in his arms. “He likes to sit at the edge of town and watch the main street, but honestly, it’s kind of obvious where he’s looking.”
Tin’s eyes caught mine and I could feel myself turning red again, only this time the heat crept over my face and down my neck. I smiled weakly and stuttered, “He… he can’t really see Maggie’s studio from there, that’s three blocks away.”
Tin chuckled, as did the rest of the boys.
I wanted to slap myself in the forehead. Of course Konai could see that far.
I needed to change the subject, knowing my aura was probably shimmering a bright neon pink to them, “So, why was Konai threatened by Tor? I mean, he seemed threatened before he knew how much Tor had changed. Sky seems fine, and it’s not his birthday yet.”
Koda strummed a few long chords and Tin took a step back, then bowed deeply, signaling the end of our dance. “Well, that’s different, Sky’s already a guardian. Fully a guardian. He chooses not to practice those traits or use his powers.” Tin escorted me back to sit beside Miki. “All the guardian traits and abilities were given to him the day he saved his grandfather. Even though Sky’s birthday is a couple of weeks away, it’ll be pretty uneventful. He‘s more like a…. I’m not sure. I suppose you’d call him a sleeping guardian.” Tin smiled and sat down on the ground.
“Is that why Konai was so worried about Sky out at the lake, because he thought Sky might not be able to get himself out of harms way?” I picked up my water and took another drink. That would make sense. If Sky didn’t practice using his powers, he might not have been able to get Nikolai and himself out of danger before the storm hit.
“Exactly. We’re really lucky Teddy was there too, and that it’s been a while since his birthday. He was in the right mind set to help you guys, without adding to what could have been a catastrophe,” Cailan tossed a stick onto the fire, “and extra lucky that Tor happened to gain a few powers before his birthday. That fisherman probably wouldn’t have survived the damage a falling shed would have inflicted.”
Scooting off the log, I lowered myself to the ground to sit beside Tin, “Why does it matter that it was a few days after Teddy’s birthday? Konai was fine the day right after his birthday.”
Tin shook his head, “That’s not a fair comparison. Of course Konai was fine, he’s been training for this since birth. The rest of us have only had a few years to figure everything out. Out of everyone, Konai is going to have the most skill, and the most control over those skills.”
I nodded in understanding, “That makes sense. Although, I’d like to know exactly what Konai was trying to do up at the lake. Can you tell me what happened?”
Nalu sighed, “We’re able to manipulate weather,” he held up a hand, “but only to a point. We aren’t allowed to control it, because the difference in what we are doing, and what should be happening, could cause damage to ourselves and others. And to exert that kind of focus and energy, it’s… well it’s sort of against guardian beliefs.”
“What? You mean Konai broke a rule?” I tried not to sound panicked, but I didn’t like the idea of Konai potentially being in trouble over what had happened.
“Well, yes and no.” Cailan looked around at the boys, then back at me, “Forcing the weather to change, to control the temperature of the air in order to manipulate the things around us, is something we can do, but try to avoid. In extreme cases, doing so could potentially cause a natural disaster. An avalanche could be caused by making it a fraction too warm, or plants and animals could die from the temperature dropping too fast.”
“It would be far too easy to accidentally whip up another storm, a much worse one, by messing with the air pressure. Heat and cold fighting for dominance in the air could be catastrophic.” Hhan stared into the fire, and I wondered if he’d experienced something like that. Or if one of the other guardians, the original guardians, had ever made that kind of mistake.
Miki coughed and cleared his throat, “I know Konai tweaked the rules a little, but I would have done the same thing, if it meant saving Sky.”
I wanted to jump up and hug Miki, and was pleasantly surprised when the rest of the boys smiled and nodded.
Koda grinned, “Yeah, he didn’t really break the rules, he just bent them a little. And bending the rules to save a guardian, well that doesn’t really count against you.” He paused to wink at me, “Besides, Sky is as important as any of the rest of us. And I’m sure if we’d been in Konai’s place, we would have done exactly the same thing.”
“But next time, Konai should ask for help.” Hhan added. “That way he doesn’t run the risk of hurting himself again.”
“True.” Dasan agreed.
“We‘re really lucky to have him as a brother,” Cailan said softly.
All of the boys murmured in agreement, and I wished that Konai and Sky could be there to hear the boys talking about them. I knew Konai would probably be embarrassed, but Sky needed to hear how important the others thought he was. As soon as I saw Sky again, I would tell him about the conversation. He might not believe me, but maybe hearing what they all thought about him would help him out of the protective shell he’d buried himself in.
I could only hope.
“Konai is pretty awesome, I can’t do half that stuff.” Koda frowned and chucked a rock into the fire.
“What do you mean? I thought all guardians were the same?” I asked, sure that I had misunderstood.
He shrugged, “Technically, yes, but all that elemental stuff is always the hardest for me.”
“Why?”
Koda shrugged, “No idea, but it’s not that big a deal, I know it’ll get easier for me over time. Besides, it’s okay, I’m just better at…” He paused as Hhan turned and the other guardians arm bumped him in the ribs. Koda glanced up at Hhan and then back at me, “…other stuff.” He paused again to run a hand through his hair, “I can’t really do a whole lot of anything right now anyways, it’s too tiring.”
I remembered how exhausted Konai was after exerting all that energy up on the hill. Maybe how a guardian chose to wield their powers, used up different amounts or levels of energy. I wondered to what extent they could use their powers before it made them that tired. I looked around at the group of boys, and thought about what Konai had done, and what he’d gone through afterwards.
A breeze lifted my hair off my shoulders and rustled the branches of the trees nearby. The fire flickered and the flames jumped and spun for a moment. I turned to look back at Koda, “Was that you?”
He grinned mischievously and another breeze floated by, causing what little leaves there were to fall from the trees above and dance through the air. Koda’s gaze focused over my shoulder and I twisted around, noticing a low fog swirl down the nearest hill and move slowly towards us.
I watched as the fog crawled along the ground, twisting up the tree trunks and floating back down again in a beautiful swirling pattern, “You’re doing that?”
“Yup.” He smiled and continued staring in the direction of the fog. Lines formed on his forehead as he focused harder, and then he frowned. Koda blinked suddenly and rubbed at his temple. “Oww, I think I hurt something.” He leaned to the side and nodded his head twice, then his eye twitched overdramatically.
The boys and I laughed, and I reached over to pat Koda’s leg gently. “Please, don’t hurt yourself just to show me what you can do.”
He was charming enough to blush, “Sorry, weather really isn’t my forte, but I don’t mind as long as I can be really good at the other stuff.”
“You mean, like reading peoples auras and projections, those types of things?”
Koda grinned widely, “Oh yeah, I’m a whiz at that stuff.” He looked around the group of boys, his eyes glazing over slightly.
Tin jumped up from the ground, “Oh yeah!” He pivoted and did a little twirl, then tossed his hands in the air.
Miki’s mouth dropped open and he looked shocked, but he wasn’t staring at Tin. He tilted his head to the side and squinted, “Wow, that’s some party.”
I looked around the small campfire at the boys, and noticed that all of their eyes were slightly glassy. It was then that I realized they were all seeing something I could not. They’d mentioned another party somewhere else, but where? And how different was that party from the group of people I was already with? The rest of the boys were smiling excitedly, but Miki looked oddly nervous.
Koda’s eyes cleared and sparkled a deep forest green, “You can all go now, if you want. I’ll wait around for the guys to come back, and for the other guests to get here.” He tucked his guitar away and pulled out a bottle of water.
Hhan nodded towards Dasan, “I’ll go with you, I’ve been waiting out here forever.”
Leave? Before Konai returned? I didn’t like that idea, not at all. If anyone was staying behind, it would be me. Even if that meant staying out in the woods alone, I would wait for them to come back.
Dasan shook his head, “Sorry brother, but we go in as a group. Thanks for the offer though.”
Hhan shrugged indifferently, “I can respect that.”
I glanced at Koda, “If it’s okay to ask, what did you show them?”
He frowned, then laughed, “Oh… sorry, I guess you couldn’t see that. I showed them the party.” He smiled again, “You know, back there?” Koda pointed over his shoulder at the wall of snow and rock that loomed behind us.
“Um, party back… where?” The large cliff was intimidating, a cold grey wall that spanned a mile in each direction and stretched fifty feet into the sky, with layers of ice and snow cascading down the edge nearest to us.
Koda stood slowly as Hhan smiled, “Back here.” He started walking towards the edge of the wall, and reached out to touch the snow covered surface.
The sound of a branch snapping made him pause, and we all turned to look back at the hill where the three guardians had left. A figure was approaching slowly, and I stood and walked quickly past the fire, but stopped short when I realized it wasn’t Konai.
It was Teddy, and he was alone.