"Kaneki! Hide!" You waved as you saw the two walk into the cafe. Kaneki shyly smiled at you as he noticed you, Hide smiling towards Kaneki. You beckoned for them to come over. Hide elbowed Kaneki's side as they both sat down at the table. He kept on winking towards you, but you ignored it. Kaneki pushed his arm away and quietly shushed him. He laughed to himself.
"H-hey, Y/N." He shakily said, scratching his head. "I didn't expect to see you here." He held his left hand to his chin. You heard laughter change to pain as Hide reacted to a bang from under the table. He rubbed at his foot. Kaneki gave Hide a quick glance.
"So, c-can I get you anything? A coffee or something?"
"Oh Kaneki, you don't ha-"
"NO! Sorry, I-I mean, it's just that...that I insist." His cheeks turned a bright red. Kaneki turned around to find a free member of staff. You noticed Touka was idly standing near one of the tables.
"Touka looks like she's free, I'll call her over."
"I can do that!" Hide suddenly spoke up. He turned around and shouted for her.
"Touka-chan!" He waved his arms wildly around. She noticed him and gave out a small sigh. Walking over towards the table, she pulled out a notepad.
"Yeah?"
"My good friend Kaneki would like to order something!" Touka looked over to Kaneki, and then to you. You shrugged your shoulders at her. She laughed under her breath.
"What do you want, Kaneki?"
"Uh, one- no- two regular coffees, please." Hide coincidentally coughed. Kaneki sighed. "Make it three." Touka scribbled down some notes, then walked away.
"Wait, Touka-chan! I'll be a minute, you guys." Hide abruptly got up and followed Touka. He patted Kaneki's back before running off. She tried to sound as friendly as possible as Hide constantly talked. You and Kaneki were left at the table together.
After a couple minutes of conversation, Hinami ran out from the staff door.
"Touka! I found some food for Loser! Oh! Y/N-chan! Onii-chan!" Hinami came running to the table, her hand cupping something.
"Hi Hinami, what are you holding?" You asked.
"Some food for Loser! I found it! You have to be careful with it though, it's alive!" She opened it, to reveal a long, red centipede. "Look at it!"
"It's very...nice, Hinami. I'm sure Loser will enjoy it. Right, Kaneki?" You looked over to Kaneki. He was staring at the centipede in her hands, his eye twitching slightly. Beads of sweat dripped down his head as he couldn't take his eyes off the insect. "Kaneki...?"
He shook his head, before also standing up.
"I-I...sorry. I just don't feel very well. I'm going to go the the bathroom." He walked away.
"Onii-san!" Hinami shouted. Kaneki turned around, but quickly turned back round when he saw her going over to him. He wasn't looking where he was going, and tripped over one of the chair's legs that was sticking out. He tripped, and fell.
"Kaneki!" You said as you went over to him. He was holding his head. Blood was covering his hand slightly.
"You're bleeding! Let me get you a tissue or something." You reassured him.
"I'm okay, Y/N, honestly. It was just a scratch, that's al-"
"KANEKI-KUN! I AM HERE!" Tsukiyama majestically slammed through the entry doors, a handkerchief in his hand. He practically threw himself towards the injured Kaneki. "Don't worry, my precious Kaneki. Your sauveur has arrived." He held his hand out to help him up, to which he hesitantly accepted. Tsukiyama handed him the cloth, and Kaneki dabbed his head with it. You saw as Tsukiyama strangely licked his lips.
"T-Thank you, Tsukiyama-san."
"I'll take that." He took the cloth from his hand and smiled at it. "I'll go clean this. Au revoir, for the moment." Tsukiyama hurriedly went to the bathroom, cackling. Kaneki apologized to you.
"Sorry, about that. I don't particularly like insects. Even if it was half-dead."
Glass shattered next to you and you tried to avoid shards flying towards you. The window had been broken, and sharp pieces were all over the floor.
"Did somebody say half-dead?" Ayato had kicked his way through the cafe window. His lowered his leg as he walked into the room. Touka had shielded herself behind a table with Hide.
"Ayato...what are you doing here." She coldly said as she got up from table. Hide tried to grab her back, but she was too far away.
"Ah, my dumb aneki. I heard you worked at this cowards cafe."
"Shut up, Ayato. You call me a coward? After how you react, it's pretty pathetic."
Ayato angrily stared at her. His kakugans appeared.
"What are you talking about? Did the coffee get to your head?"
Touka laughed to herself. She called for Hinami to come over. She appeared from behind the counter and worriedly walked over to her. Touka took Hinami's hands and reassured her.
"It's okay, Hinami. Ayato is a lot more afraid than how he acts."
"And what do you mean by that?" He was ready to attack. Touka calmly walked over to him, and held up her hand. The centipede was trying to wriggle itself free from her grip. Ayato's eyes widened.
"Touka... GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! LOOK AT ALL IT'S LEGS!1 DON'T TELL ME THAT ISN'T FREAKING YOU OUT?!" aAyato ran out of the broken hole, his arms flailing and him screeching. Touka laughed as she handed the creature back to Hinami. You were still trying to process what was happening.
"Just like when he was younger." She laughed. Although Ayato had ran off, the new arrivals hadn't stopped. Jason and Nico had appeared through the door, chiming the bell.
"Well, it's already a mess here. Tell me Nico, why are we here?" Jason asked, holding a small bottle.
"I was looking for another mask, but it seems we are in the wrong shop."
"And ward." Touka replied.
"No you're not." Uta said as he walked through the staff doors. He held a sketchpad in his hand and proceeded to measure Nico's face.
"Fabulous." Nico laughed. "Jason darling, what is in that small bottle? You've been carrying it for hours."
"Ah, you see, Nico. This is a bottle of nail polish. A new arrival at Aogiri has recommended this brand of polish for my nails. His nails are always so dark and beautiful." He held it up to the light. "Speaking of the devil, he's here now." He cackled.
Another person arrived through the staff doors. He had white hair and black nails.
"Hi." He said. He looked familiar.
"W-wait a second, i-isn't that..." Kaneki stuttered before another person arrived. He had walked through the broken window.
"Sorry I'm late!" He had black hair that faded to white. "Hey, you kinda look like me!" He waved to the other boy. He didn't wave back.
"Aren't you..." Kaneki looked like he was going to be sick.
"Kaneki, are you okay?" You asked, before he ultimately fainted.
"Oh? Has he fainted? Whoops." The boy with black/white hair said. "I can get a doctor if you want. Well, not a doctor, but he knows about stitches."
"Now I'm here!~" Juuzou jumped from behind the boy, he giggled. "Hey! You're my quinque! You should be dead!" He pointed to Jason.
"Well...I guess I'm not." Jason replied.
"Where's Yoshimura?" Touka said out of nowhere. "This is getting ridiculous."
"Here." Yoshimura lifted a lamp shade from his head, revealing his location. "Nishiki is here too."
Nishiki appeared from a plant pot. "Hey, dumbasses."
"Say Nishiki, what's that you got there?" Uta asked.
Nishiki held a plate in his hand. "This? Oh, it's horse crap. I like to walk around with it for comfort. So does Rize." Rize had now arrived. You were beginning to question reality.
A ring was heard from the silent white-haired boy. He dug through his pocket to reveal an alarm.
"I'm not Noro." He threw the alarm onto the floor, it broke.
"Neither am I." Everybody said in sync. Hide was apparently still hiding behind the table, but had now stood up.
"Okay everybody, this is getting ridiculous. I don't know who half of you guys are, and I'm pretty sure some of you don't know who I am- or remember me. But can we please leave this cafe? It's pretty dangerous right now." He looked around at the shattered glass. Finally, somebody who seemed to be making sense of the situation. Everybody nodded their head at his statement.
"Come on guys, let's go home." Hide turned his head and winked. You looked at where he was looking, but he was merely looking at a blank wall. Everybody laughed in sync, and put their arms around each other. They laughed as they exited the cafe. Nico began to sing to himself.
"Nico Nico Nii~!"
" Hide picked up Kaneki and carried him out. Acoustic Unravel could be heard in the background.
You stood in the cafe, in shock about what had just happened. Glass covered the floor. A squeak was heard from around the corner.
"Qu'est-ce que j'ai rate?"
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APRIL FOOLS! This was the most ridiculous thing I had ever written. I tried to add as many characters as I could but it was kinda difficult. Anyway, I hope you liked this...OS thing. I hope you smiled or laughed at any of this!
If you want, vote for this and/or follow me! I'd really appreciate it!
~spicynishiki
*any writing mistakes w̶e̶r̶e̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶o̶f̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶ intentional