GWEN'S POV:
I looked at Harry, who looked even sadder now, head down in sorrow.
"Harry? HARRY????? Is that true?" I burst out into strong, heaving sobs instantaneously. "Harry???? Tell me he's kidding! Please tell me he's lying! He's joking, Harry! He's.....NO! It's a joke, right??"
My mind was scattered everywhere. Most of my mind was busy looking for any sign of a joke in the words that Louis told me. The rest was.......LOSING IT, knowing Lou wouldn't joke about that.
"Gwen, I didn't want to tell you. I just wanted us to be natural one more time. Now you're gonna cry the rest of my time with you....now I won't get to see you smile one last time. I just want to be with you for my last moments. And I don't know what to say! I don't know what to do, Gwen. How do you say goodbye to someone like this? What's there to say? All I can think of is that I love you! It's all I can get out. But I love you doesn't cover it. It doesn't say all that I need to say. Gwen, baby......I'm so sorry! I don't want to leave you. I don't want you to suffer! I don't want you to grieve for me long. I want you to remember me forever, of course. I want you to hold the love you feel for me at this very second, and keep it in your heart forever. But I want you to go on. I want you to love again. I want you to be HAPPY, Gwen. You need to be happy. You deserve to be happy...."
My mind was reeling. I was dizzy, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Harry. These were my last moments with him? For real? This was it?
I heard what he was telling me. He needed to say everything he needed to say. And I listened hard. But it was so difficult to concentrate on his words, because I was FREAKING OUT inside.
When he stopped talking for a split second, I found my voice, but nothing was making sense.
"No! No no no!! Nononononononononononononooo!!! Please no! Harry!" I had to say something better than this. But I didn't want to, because that would be sad. That would mean I was accepting his fate. Our fate. Our being separated for the rest of.....MY life.
Which I knew in this instant, wouldn't be long. I wouldn't suffer long.
I couldn't suffer long.
Not like this.
Not without Harry.
I would NOT be without him. The first chance I got, I'd join him...wherever he was in this Universe.
Flashes of Harry started going through my mind. The first time I looked into his green eyes, and saw his kindness and light shining through. The first time he walked into the room as a fake client. Him holding me. His beautiful voice as he hummed to me so many times. I could hear the song he hummed the most, as the rest of my memories flashed through my head......the cliff, laying with him, him losing control. The shower that day when I broke down. The hospital. Filled with flowers. The beach. How striking his brown curls were as they shone in the bright sun. How his dimples lit up his face when he'd smile at me. How he stood out to me from everyone else there. As if he was a God.
Looking at the stars, as we did on many nights. The zoo. The planetarium. Making love every morning. Catching him peeking at me with a content, proud smile on his face when I'd look away from my school lessons. Watching movies on the couch. Watching him play his guitar, putting together lyrics and chords. Cuddling. Loving. Everything. So much. It was all dancing around in my head.
"I can't live with out you Harry. I won't. I'm coming with you. You have to wait for me. Promise me you'll wait for me. Don't go to the afterlife without me. Force your soul to wait here for me, please? Promise me! Unless there's darkness and nothingness.....but if there's anything, anything at all Harry, WAIT FOR ME. I'll be right there. Right behind you. I promise!"
"NO! No Gwen. Don't say that. Did you hear me? You HAVE to go on. I want you to find love again. I want you to have kids. And grow old! You have to promise ME that, Gwen! YOU promise!
If I can, I'll wait for you all that time. And when at last your moment comes, many many years from now, I'll still be here waiting for you. I promise, if it can be done, that's what I'll do. I'll spend all your years left on Earth, in purgatory, to wait for you. I promise you. But YOU have to promise ME, that you'll spend all your years left, here....ALIVE."
"Harry, no. I can't! It's not possible! You know that! You know I can't live without you. Please Harry, don't make me! Please......" I started to break down into hysterics now. "Don't leave me Harry! Don't go! Don't leave this room. Don't leave my life! I need you Harry! Oh GOD, I need you!" We held each other's shoulders, as if we wanted to pull each other in, but yet...we had to face each other and say what we needed to say. But we had to be touching, no matter what.
"I'm sorry God! I'm sorry I doubted you! I'm sorry I decided your rules were stupid! I'll give my entire life to you God, PLEEEEEEEEEASE!" I found myself screaming now. Begging God to take me back, if he'd only spare Harry's life. I was so desperate, I'd sell my soul to the devil. I didn't care.
"PLEEEEASE!!" I looked at the camera hole on the wall nearest my cage. "Please don't do this! I'll do what you want! You can keep me here forever! I'll take clients all day, all night, forever! I don't care! Just please.....let him go!
Take me! Kill ME! Let him live! It's not his fault! He just....fell in love with me, and had to save me! He didn't mean any harm against you people! He's innocent! PLEEE-HEEE-HEEEEEASE" I yelled and cried until I couldn't yell anymore.
My hands were tight on Harry's shoulders the entire time, not wanting him to slip away out of my life forever.
"Gwen.....no. I've had a good life! You came along and made it perfect, but now my time's up, babe! Your life is just starting! I want you to......Lou.....Louis, please.....I need you take care of her for me, ok? I need you to keep loving her. I need you take over for me. I need you to hold her when she misses me. I need you to rock her when she cries for me. I need you to help her put me in a safe place in her heart. I need you to let her remember me, and understand that she'll still love me forever, no matter how much she loves you. I'll always be with her. I'll always be in her heart. I need you to do that for me, please? You've GOT to take care of her for me. I know she can love you if she just allows herself to feel it. To accept it. She loves you already. So it won't be hard. She'll just need time, Lou. Give her that. Don't give up on her. Please........take care of my girl. Make her happy. Make her smile. Make her love again. Even if for some reason it's loving someone else....I still need you to take care of her...see her through her life......I know it's a big favor. I know it's a lifelong job. But...I just need to know she'll be loved and cared for, Lou. Somehow. I just need to know, so I can die peacefully", Harry said, breaking down several times, and especially at the end.
"Harry, mate.....you know I'll do that for you. Even if I didn't love her like I do, I'd still do that for you.
I'll do everything I can. I swear. I'll protect her from herself, until she can learn to go on. And I'll protect her as she goes on. I'll do it, no matter what she feels for me, man. I promise. I'll take care of her for you. I love you, mate." Louis said in tears, voice breaking, but getting all the words out before breaking totally down.
"Gwen...I don't know how long we have left. I don't know. But please...you have to try and be happy for me. So I can see you happy one last time. I like you happy. It's my favorite type of Gwen, you know", he forced a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood. I understood why he tried, but...he was about to die soon. There WAS no lightening the mood. I had no smiles to come out. My mouth was locked in a contorted cry that wouldn't end. And it never would, even long after he was gone.
I'd never smile again. I WANTED to give Harry his request, but...I physically could not.
Kissing! I should be kissing Harry right now. His kisses are what I live for. Knowing that his lips are connected to the rest of him, including his kind, loving soul, is what makes his kisses so wonderful. That, and the taste of him. The smell of him. Being so close to him......everything inside him comes to me in his kisses.
I didn't wait another second. I crashed my lips into his, and he responded right away.
"Gwen, you are the love of my life. *kiss kiss* I would have grown old with you. *kiss kiss kiss...kiss* I wanted you forever, and then even after that. *kisssssssssssssss kiss kissssssssss*
I allowed myself to feel his love. I allowed myself to feel HIM. Against me. Kissing me. Being close to me for the last time. He kissed down my neck as I put my head back, and he gently leaned me back until I was laying on the mattress, and he was kneeling over top of me.
He glanced down at my breasts, then back up to me. The look in his eyes was pleading. I knew what he wanted.
I pulled his face to me, and his body sunk down onto me, as I kissed him hard. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer, so I could feel all of him covering me.
"Love me, Harry" I whispered in his ear. "Please love me one more time."
He looked up from his work on my jaw, and he nodded so slightly, while a single tear rolled down his soaked face, gravity finally pulling it away to land on my chin.
His lips engulfed mine so meaningfully, I got chills. My entire body shook with a giant chill, as our bodies moved together. He ground onto me, his hands wandering all over. From my cheek down to my breasts, then back up again. I suddenly remembered that Louis was in the room. I looked over, and Harry looked at me, wondering why I stopped. He looked where I was looking.
Lou's face was buried in his hands, which were buried in his knees. His shoulders shook randomly again, as he cried. He must have noticed the sudden silence and lack of swishing sound against the mattress as we moved, because he popped his head up, surprised to see us looking at him.
He stared for a moment, and then realized. He smiled a weak smile, and slid his self around on his butt, facing the wall, away from us. It was the most privacy he could give us, and that would do.
It wasn't nearly ideal, but I didn't even care about the awkwardness. If this was the only way I could love Harry for the last time in my life, I didn't care if the entire government staff was in the room. I didn't care if my MUM was in the room.
Harry looked back down at me, and I turned back to him. I had a sad look suddenly, as I thought about what Harry had requested from Louis. He wanted me to be with Lou when he was gone.
He approved of Louis, and hoped that I could find it in myself to love him for real. I knew he wouldn't want Lou to live a life of fake love. He wouldn't want Louis to feel like a "second choice" all of his life.
But I knew that's what he would be. He would always be just a second choice. He'd surely get tired of my breaking down and crying every single day for the rest of my life, knowing I had to get through each day without Harry.
I couldn't do that to Lou. He deserved more. So much more than I could EVER give him.
I'm sure I COULD love him. But he would never be...Harry. And he was worth more than 'not being Harry' for the rest of his life.
This is why the first chance I got, I would be out of my misery, and Louis would be free from his responsibilities. Free to find someone who would love him for HIM. Someone who would love him for 'being Louis'.
"I know, Gwen. I know. You can do it. It's in you. It's in there. You just need to let it come out, and I promise you, the love will grow", Harry seemed to know what I was thinking, just by the sad look I had when I looked at Lou, then at him.
He always knew. He always read my mind. Straight through the window that was my eyes. He ALWAYS knew. No one else could ever read me like he could. Ever.
I wanted to tell Harry that it wasn't fair to Louis, what he'd be taking on after he was gone. I wanted to tell Harry that I could let every possible feeling I had for Lou come out and accept it, but it wouldn't even fill a small portion of my heart, compared to my feelings for Harry. I wanted to tell him all this, but I decided to let it go. It didn't matter. Let Harry die in peace. Let him think his best friend and his girlfriend could be happy in life, without him. Let him die with peace of mind.......
I gave Harry one last sad look, that I knew didn't convince him at all, and then I took his face in my hands and kissed him. Before long, we were squirming around in heated passion again. This time nothing would stop us. I hoped. I was so afraid that the men would come in at the last second, just for spite, and take Harry away just before we were done. But I didn't want to rush it at all. I wanted to feel every kiss. Every touch. Every breath in his chest as it pressed on mine. I wanted to memorize every single second of this. It was all we had left.
We made love. Slowly. Passionately. Tenderly. His thrusts weren't even thrusts this time. They were just slow movements inside of me. Our eyes locked, and didn't dare move from one another's as we moved together under the sheet. We prolonged it as much as we could. Moved as slow as we could.
We cried, too. As we made love. Tears slipped from both of our eyes, but yet, we never looked away. Never stopped moving.
When I came, he held me tightly, pressing his cheek against mine, focusing his ear by my mouth, to hear every breath of the pleasure he gave me. He held off for himself, until I was done and recovered, so that I could focus on him, and then he let himself go inside of me. I watched every emotion on his face. Listened so carefully to every grunt, every hitched breath, as I held my hand up to his chest, feeling his heart as it beat rapidly for me. With me.
He collapsed down onto me and scooped my head and shoulders up into his arms with his elbows leaning on the mattress, and covered me in slow kisses and squeezes, as my arms were wrapped around his back.
We stayed that way for a long time. We cried together for a while. Both of us. Full on sobbing, cheek to cheek. Our tears mixed together on both of our faces.
We recovered and just held each other in silence for a while, after. Just listening to our breaths. Our hearts beating next to each other.
We cried more. We were both so tired. So very tired. But we never once let ourselves blink for too long. We didn't want to waste a single second of the time we had left together.
We whispered I love you's. We traced each other's faces with our fingers. We said cutesy things together. And he managed to get some of those smiles he wanted, out of me. They were wet smiles, with lips covered in tears, and I could feel the sadness in the shape of my eyes, but they were smiles.
I tried hard, for him. And I memorized his smile too.
It must have been hours we had, to just be together. Sometimes laying next to one another, sometimes spooning. Sometimes him laying on me.....
Until the men came into the room.
He held me tighter, and I clung to him desperately now. Our entire demeanor changed in an instant. These would be our last few moments together. The men both had guns. Lou, who had fallen asleep a while ago, woke and stood up in his open cage.
Harry and I stayed laying together. We couldn't move. We didn't want our body contact to end.
They came into our cage and started lifting Harry off of me.
"Let's go. You've had more than plenty of time. Good stuff, that long goodbye was. Very entertaining. Even teared up a slight bit for a moment. Ahh, no I didn't!" he laughed as he struggled to lift Harry by his arms with the other man, but we were holding each other so tightly, they couldn't wedge us apart.
"Please lads......take me instead, won't you?" Louis suddenly spoke on the other side of the room. "Kill me, if you have to kill someone. Please. Let them be. Just let them fucking be."
"Nahh mate! Sorry, he's the one who fucked up our little business. Police are hot on our trail these days. Had to move all our women. Pain in the arse it is. All because of this guy. He's gotta GO!" one of the men said.
"Then take us both. Me and him. Together" I said desperately.
"No Gwen", Harry quickly tried to shut me up.
They managed to get us standing, but our bodies were still completely locked together, from feet to head.
They pulled us through the cage door as we resisted as much as we could. Louis came out and joined the struggle. "No! Leave them alone! Don't do this! Please! Stop! Just stop!" he yelled to the men as he pushed against Harry, trying to keep him in this room, trying to keep us together. "He has money! He has millions of dollars! I swear! He'll give you every cent! Please! Just let him live!! Let us all go and it's yours! Right Harry?" Louis pleaded, whipping out this one last idea.
"Yeah. Sure! We saw his flat! We saw his car! We saw his clothes! Nice try though!"
One of the men said with a snicker.
We all struggled, then finally one of the men pulled up his gun and aimed it at my head. I didn't stop struggling, but Harry did. So did Lou.
No!! Why did they give up? Keep fighting! Me dying right now would be perfect, because I wouldn't have to be without Harry for a single second. I'd wait for his soul to join mine.....
"GWEN! Stop!!!! Just stop, God dammit!" Harry shook me, and then held my face in his hands. "I have to go, babe. I've got to go now. I don't want you hurt. I want to live on in your memory. Please..."
I stopped my struggle and looked at Harry. "I want to go with you Harry", I sobbed in the most weak, pathetic voice.
He started to shake his head no, but the men saw their chance while we weren't stuck together, and they pulled Harry away and blocked me with their own bodies separating us as they pulled him to the door.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, and lunged for Harry. I couldn't get past them. I couldn't get to Harry. His hand came out between their shoulders, and I grabbed it. No! This couldn't be my last touch of him for ever and ever.....
I noticed an open spot between the men's legs. I could see Harry's feet. I let his hand go, and I ducked under one of the men's legs and found Harry's leg. I wrapped my arms around it and locked them as tightly as I could.
The men kept moving, and I was being dragged across the floor now. The dingy, rough concrete floor. It was cold, and I could feel the skin on my stomach and hips skin being scraped open as I got pulled across. Harry was stumbling as he was forced to walk with me on his leg.
"Gwen please! You're gonna be hurt! Get up, baby, please! Just hold my hand again! Get up Gwen!" he called down to me. I looked up at him, while I clung to him desperately.
I'd been dragged all the way to the door. The men stopped, and one of them started kicking me on the back and sides. "Get the fuck up! Your boyfriend's a dead man! Give it up! Get UP!" he yelled as I clung to Harry, ignoring the pain of each hit to my body.
"GWEN! Please! Please get up! I wanna see your face before I leave! Gwen, I beg you, please!" Harry yelled. "Lou! Help! Grab her Lou!"
My entire body was hurting so badly, but I could barely feel it. I only wanted to look up at Harry. Stop them from taking him out of my life forever. Stop them from walking him to his doom. I needed every possible second I could delay it for. I didn't care what happened to me. I just wanted Harry.
I felt arms around my waist now, pulling me. I wasn't budging. The men stopped kicking me to allow Louis to help them, by pulling me away.
"No Lou! You're helping them! Stop helping them! This is what they want! Louis! Get OFF ME!! Get AWAY Lou! Harry! Tell him to stop! Tell him Harry! Please Harry! I want you!!!!" I cried out in desperation while Louis worked on unlocking my fingers, and pulling my arms out from around Harry's leg. When I was loose enough, Harry pulled his leg out.
"Lift her Lou...quickly! Please....GWEN!" he yelled.
Louis lifted me, half by my waist, half by my breast. I was standing now, and I lunged again towards Harry, blocked by the monsters in human disguise. His hand came out once again, and I grabbed it.
I was hyperventilating now, I could tell. Louis was still holding me around my waist, but letting me hold Harry's hand.
"Lou...." Harry said, "I love you man!"
"I love you too Hazza. I got you, bro. I got this", Louis said in response.
"Gwen, I love you so much! You'll be happy again. Give it time, baby. Just give it time. I'll be with you...always!" Harry said to me between sobs.
"Always? You promise? Promise you'll wait for me?" I asked, barely able to speak from crying so hard.
"Cross my heart! I cross my heart!" Harry said, and just then his hand was torn from mine, and our eyes locked for the last time as he disappeared through the door, and it shut before I could struggle out of Louis's grip.
Just like that, he was gone.
I heard a blood curling scream that made my ears vibrate. By the time the second one started, I realized I had my mouth open wide. I was banging on the door as hard as I could. Frantically pulling and twisting the knob. The screams were from me. Oh. Me.
Everything seemed in slow motion. Everything seemed like a dream. My entire body was numb. I couldn't even see anymore. I couldn't even hear the screams anymore, but I knew they were happening. Over and over. As loud as can be. Harry's name. Desperately screamed over. And over. And over....
The door started to get further away, from what I could see in between the tears and the gray that was taking over my vision.
I was gliding. Gliding back from the door, but my feet weren't walking. Why was I moving? Why? I wanted to go back to the door. No! Harry! The door! I have to get out the door. The door was my way to him. The door was the only way to Harry.....yet, it just kept getting further and further, until I was looking at it through bars....
I was turned around, and there in front of me, was Louis.
He'd carried me. He'd taken me from the door. No Louis! No!
His hands were on my shoulders, and his mouth was moving, but all I heard was ringing now. Just ringing. Right in my ears. My arms flailed. I had to get away from Louis.....I needed....the door.....
I needed breaths. I couldn't breathe. Sometimes I heard words, then they'd fade out again.
"....hurt yourse....to stop!...........have to calm dow.........please!.........Gwen, just calm....."
And then my arms were pinned to my sides, and I was pressed against something soft.
I struggled to move, but I couldn't.
....A shoulder.....was right there...at my face.....Harry?......No......it's not him.........not Harry......I heard more words, fading in and out......".....thing you can do now!.....we have to keep.......for Harr..........ust breathe Gwen.....just bre.........."
I started to slump, but arms were holding me up. I felt them. Arms. Lou? Was it Lou's arms? I was so out of it.....
Next thing I knew, I was laying down, looking at the ceiling. In my vision, I saw someone's head, so my eyes followed to it, and I saw Louis. I looked around. I was in my cage. On my mattress. Louis was....he was RIGHT THERE. In fact, he was ON me. He was sitting on me, looking down at me.
I tried to move my arms, and they were pinned. My wrists were pinned down by Lou's hands, on either side of my head.
I looked at Louis, wondering why. He was just looking at me, but breathing heavily. Tears were rushing out of his eyes. His entire face was soaked from his eyes on down to under his chin. His face was red and distorted in pain.
"Lou?" I said in a voice so small and weak, I wasn't sure he'd heard it. I barely did. "What are you....."
"Gwen, you wouldn't calm down. Then you almost fainted. I think you did faint for a minute. I don't even know. You just...weren't here....I had to lay you down before you fell....are you calmed now?" I felt him let go of my wrists, but I didn't bother moving them.
"I'm...I was......the door....." I said, not knowing what was coming out of my mouth.
"He's gone, Gwen. He's gone. You can't get out the door. You can't...." Louis's voice cracked and squeaked, and he broke down, his head bobbing down lower and lower with each sob as if he didn't have the strength to hold it up anymore.
My arms came out, without my knowledge, and grabbed around his neck, pulling him down to me. He practically collapsed on to me, and he buried his head into my neck, and he cried. Really hard.
His voice echoed across the room, and you could hear the pain in his heart in each screeching breath his body struggled to suck in, desperate for air. He cried so loud, it was like he was yelling. His voice was raspy now and it hurt my ears. His yelling cries came out in coughing like fits sometimes, banging into my eardrum with force. But I didn't care.
His body shook mine with the force of each clench of his stomach muscles as his sobs were forced out of his chest.
I laid there, staring at the ceiling again, silent tears spilling down my face, completely exhausted, not knowing what to do next. How was I supposed to go on? What do I do now that Harry's gone forever?
What move do I make next? What do I do? What do I say? Do I just lay here and cry? Do I say "Well, that sucked! Let's get some sleep! We got the rest of our lives to mourn!"
Like.....what the hell do I do?
What is life...after Harry?
I heard a commotion in the hallway suddenly.
My hand came up and slid under Lou's face awkwardly at my neck and smashed into Lou's mouth to stop his horrible, heartbreaking noises.
He hiccuped and lifted his head and looked at me. He turned to the door. He heard it too.
There were shouts.
The door started to open, and immediately, I saw...curls. Bouncing around.
HARRY???????????????
He was pushed violently into the room, and he wasted not a second for his eyes to locate me, and run to the door of my cage.
Louis jumped from me and fell back, hitting his shoulder on a bar, as I sat up, now realizing that I probably pushed Lou, which was why he flew off of me so fast.
I didn't have time to stand up. Harry was kneeling in front of me now, and we grabbed for each other and hugged tight.
"Harry! Wha.....how......Harry!!!!" my words were so breathy, even I couldn't understand myself.
He pulled away from me. "Someone's here.....must be the NCA.....they were getting ready...they put me on a tarp, and told me to kneel down on it, so there wouldn't be a mess.....and the gun...he started to aim it at my head...and I squeezed my eyes shut and I was breathing so fast.....and I heard voices shouting at the door....they were shouting "they found us...hide him...hide him", and the door burst open and they pulled me away and brought me here.......Gwen...I get to hold you again, Jesus Christ Gwen.......whatever happens from here, I got to hold you again, one more time....I'm so happy!"
"Harry! So we're rescued? They're here? They found us? We're saved?" I cried.
"I don't know. I mean...I guess....I think so.....but you never know.....if they kill the NCA guys.....just hold me. Keep holding me. Don't let me go, babe. This is a bonus, and I don't want to waste it." he pulled my head back towards his shoulder and I tightened the grip on his back that heaved up and down with the frantic breaths in his chest.
"Hey mate....had to subdue her, eh?" Harry spoke to Louis as he hugged me.
"Yeah....but she lost all energy, and finally it all hit me, so I was just crying my eyes out like a fucking baby, actually....what the hell, mate! I can't believe you're here right now!" Louis said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
"I heard you. All the way down the hall. I heard you. Broke my heart, dude. You're supposed to be helping HER!" Harry chuckled.
"Sorry man...I loved you too" Louis said, and Harry's arm lifted from around me, and I felt Lou press half against my side and back, and half against Harry's side, and I heard pats on the back. "You still do!" Harry said. I was sandwiched between a manly hug. And I was beside myself with happiness. But also scared that Harry would be taken away from me again, any second now. I couldn't go through that again.
I think I'd beat my head against the walls till I was out of my misery forever, if that happened.
But he was here now. Right now. And hopefully forever. And I was...there wasn't a word for what I felt right now. There's not a word for the person you can't live without, and love more than yourself, coming back from "the dead". There's just not.
We heard more commotion now, and we all stood up, huddled together close, against the back wall of the cage. Harry looked down at the mattress, then at me.
A mattress. The NCA raid. Guns. A mattress teepee....I could see him remembering it all.
We both looked at each other with worried expressions, not knowing what to expect this time.
Two men came flying into the room. Wait...the door hadn't been locked all that time since Harry came in? SH.IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had we known, maybe we could have tried to get out......
Only one of the men had a gun, and he was walking toward the cage fast, the other man in tow.
There was more footsteps in the hall, more shouts. Commands. "Drop the gun! It's over! Drop it now!"
We all held each other, not knowing what was happening, but the man with the gun had it aimed at Harry, as his head turned worriedly towards the door. The other man hid in the corner nearest the door, and crouched down, holding his hands up above his head. He was giving up. He had no way to fight now. The cowering son of a bit.ch.
More men came in the door, stopping immediately, assessing the situation. They WERE the NCA. They had bullet proof vests on and machine looking guns or something.
They looked at our captor, then at us and back.
"Drop your weapon! NOW!" the NCA guy in the front yelled.
"Fvck that!" our captor said, and I felt Harry move suddenly. He was now in front of me, his entire body covering mine, his back against me and his arms stretched out from his sides, facing the gun that was just now aimed at us. He was blocking me. Covering me as best as he could from the aimed gun. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion. At my other side, Louis moved away from me now, and he was just diving in front of Harry, when I heard a loud bang.
Then a second one, immediately after, not even a second apart.
I screamed, and the back of Harry's head flew back and hit me in the face. Louis turned towards Harry and looked, his mouth dropping open and his eyes bulging out of their sockets. I looked at Lou, and started to panic. What? What shocked him?
That was when Harry started to slide downwards against me. I watched, confused, as his head lowered more and more, his back sliding down against my chest, then my groin, then all the way to the floor. Louis tried to catch him, and got him before his head hit the ground.
I looked straight ahead, and the guy with the gun was on the ground in a puddle of blood. The NCA guys were rushing towards the door of our cage.
I looked at Harry, who was laying there lifeless cradled in Lou's arms.
Sound suddenly registered in my ears. It was screaming.
I was screaming. Louis was screaming too.
I dropped to my knees, still trying to register all that was happening.
It was like a dream, where you scream, but nothing comes out.....but the screams WERE coming out...it just didn't feel like it to me.
"NO! Harry!!!!! Oh my God, no!!!!!" Lou was crying out. "Stay with me mate! Stay with me! Don't you fvcking leave again!"
I finally got in position to see Harry's face, but before that, I noticed red. All over Harry's chest.
And there, the central source of the blood, was a small hole it was all squirting out of, quickly.
Harry had been shot in the chest! The bang!
The dead guy! The other bang!
Harry!!!! He had moved in front of me to shield me!
Harry purposely took a bullet for me!
Just like he'd always promised he'd do.
Oh NO, Harry, no no no no NOOOO!
".......was supposed to be ME, mate! Not you! I tried! I tried, mate! I fvcking tried! Stay with me, Haz, dammit! STAY WITH ME!" Lou was still crying out.
I looked up to Harry's face, and his mouth was open and he was looking right at me, his eyes so wide....
My mind finally registered everything, and I freaked.
I screamed like a maniac now. "HARRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I held his face and leaned over him, never leaving his eyes. He blinked a few times. He was still alive. But his arms were spread out at his sides, and he didn't move much.
"Gwuh......Guhh....." Harry tried to talk, taking weak breaths, trying hard to force out sound to make words. He was trying to say my name.
"I luhh....hhyoouhh...."
"Harry! I love you! I know! I know you love me! It's ok! Don't waste your breath! Just hold on! PLEEEASE hold on for me Harry! Don't leave me, ok? Not this time! I just got you back!
Just relax!" I told him as I gathered the sheet from behind him, and balled it up tight and pushed it onto Harry's chest firmly, trying to stop the bleeding. Harry gasped and his entire face winced when I did it.
Finally the NCA guys were bent down over Harry.
"Hold on Harry! Help is here! They're gonna help you, ok? I promise Harry! Please hold on! If there's anything you can possibly do right now, just hold on....for me, Harry! Stay here in this life with me, alright? You stay here Harry! Don't you DARE leave me! Keep yourself here baby! You've got to, Harry! You've got to!!! I love you so much! I love you Harry! Oh God I love you....."
I was pulled away by another one of the guys, and Lou was too, as someone else laid Harry's head down gently on the mattress they slid over towards him.
Harry's breathing was rough. He was struggling bad.
He was dying. Right now as I stood here, he was dying. He was taking his last breaths. I knew it.
And there was nothing I could do.
I tried to leave the grasp of the guy holding me, but I couldn't.
All I could do was keep yelling out to Harry that I loved him, and tell him to hold himself in his body, and not to leave it. Not to leave me. Not to leave Lou......
I yelled it all out over and over, until he was rushed out of the room by the flood of emergency medical people that had come in with equipment and things they hooked up to him and stuck in him....
I kept yelling until I started collapsing down. The NCA guy grabbed me by my waist and lifted me up to stand over the mattress, where he let me down gently into a controlled collapse, where I knealt with my head down in front of my knees, sobbing and pleading with the Universe to let Harry stay here in this life with me.
Seconds later, I felt arms around my back.
I peeked over in a daze, and it was Lou. He had his head leaned on my back, and was sobbing with me, speaking stuttery words between each one.
"I tried, Gwen. I.....I tried......I....to bl.....block him..m..m....it wasssss....uppossedto.....be...ME!"
In order to figure out what he meant, my mind led me back to the slow motion of events that had taken place. And there, in my memory, I saw Harry get in front of me, and Louis start moving in front of Harry. He tried to take the bullet for Harry. Who was taking a bullet for me.
He tried to let Harry live, so he could be here to love me forever. Rather keep a love together than to break it up.......
He didn't get in front fast enough, though. He was close, but thinking of where I saw the wound in Harry's chest, it was towards the left side of his.......wait.......our hearts are on the left side.
Was Harry shot in the heart? It was RIGHT THERE....at his heart area, I realized.
Oh my GOD........
I picked my head up off the ground back into kneeling. "Lou.....he was shot in the heart, I think! It was right there....the hole! On the left.....by his nipple.......Oh my God, Lou....he's not gonna make it! He might be gone already! Lou.....I can't! He can't........I can't do this again! Lou! Help me, please.....help me, God help me..........." I cried, but realized I was getting weak again, because I had been breathing too fast as I talked to Louis.
Finally this time, the darkness overtook me. And peace came over my body. For just a while.