I know it's wrong. More wrong then homework on the weekends or a two hours delay instead of a snow day. But I can't help it, I should have control over it but I don't. I'm in love with my dead boyfriend, Alex.
Even after 6 months sense that night....
I'm steal grieving... But tell my family I'm okay. I should be over him by now, but how can I get over him when I see him everyday? I can't. And don't tell me I can.
I wait at the bus stop. The fog is thick this morning. I can see him, wearing the same cloths from that night...
"Hi love." He whispers into my ear. It is a cold rush of air that lingers on the right side of my face. He's not the same as he was when he was alive.
"Hello." I manage a smile. He seems sad today. He's more transparent then usual but his skin is grey, like always sense he died.
"I miss you. I was thinking about that night while I was coming here. And I want you to know I don't blame you. I blame me, it's my fault. All mine, it hurts me to see that your hurt." He said.
Then the bus pulled up and Alex was gone with the thick Washington fog. That day it rained, no surprise. I was struggling. I didn't pay attention to mr. Dawson talk about the steps if cell division or mrs. Hall's lecture about ancient Chinese dynasties. All I cared about was what Alex said this morning.
Before fourth period, at my locker, Eric stopped to talk to me.
"Hey." He said in a bright smile. He made me nervous and I hate that. I don't have feelings for him, but it's clear he does for me. He was good friends with Alex.
"Hi." I reply. Trying to make it seem like I'm looking for something in my locker.
"So..." He begins. "What are you doing tonight." I paused. Was he asking me out on a date? I had to come up with a lie, quickly.
"Umm... I have to babysit for the Jenson's kids tonight."
"That's too bad, I would've loved to go to the movies or something." Then he walked away. Why, out of all of the girls in the school he's attracted to me? Doesn't he know its still to soon to date again? I mean Alex has only been gone for sixth months...