Athella,
Sometimes, I still wake up
and imagine you in my arms,
like how it once was -
and how it still should be.
You were the best thing
that ever happened to me,
and even now that you have
scourged me so completely,
I still count those days
by your side
as the best in my entire life.
Loving you couldn't be called
the most logical choice
I've ever made,
not by a long shot -
but who ever said it was a choice?
I know what you do
to your admirers when
you get bored of their affections.
It's a dirty, cruel trick you play,
and I'll freely admit that.
But for me, it's worth the risk.
I am bound hand and foot
by my desire
to be always with you,
to never leave your side -
to make you smile and laugh
the way you should.
For me, it's not a choice
when my only wish
is to be close to you,
even just for one moment more.
Even if you only spare me
a single glance
in a whole lifetime,
I could die happy
knowing that I am no longer
entirely beyond
your range of consciousness.
But I guess it's futile
to think this way
when in the end,
it won't change a thing -
and you, Athella,
will still know me as
the girl who deceived you
and foolishly
thought she could get away with
giving you her love.
I think we both know
that it never would have
worked out in the end.
With love,
Rhys