Today was going to be a very, very bad day.
I hadn't slept last night. I'd slipped off into sleep for about 20 minutes before waking up after a nightmare. I couldn't remember what had happened, only that Gideon and Staz had both been in the dream.
But the lingering terror and the rapid pounding of my heart prevented me from falling back to sleep. So instead, I had paced around, listened to music, and played video games. Anything to get my mind off of that terror.
Now, I sat in my kitchen, exhausted and hungry, being lectured by my mother. I had come down to grab breakfast, only to be met with her charming bitch-face.
"Judeikas," she said, pacing in front of the table as I sat and watched her. I just wanted to eat but she was too busy being an asshole to me. "Mrs. Montgomery called me last night. You were locked away in your room and I was busy doing work, so I decided to talk to you about it today."
"Tatiana, it's not like it was anything bad," dad said, sipping on his coffee. "Jude has to leave for school in a little. We can talk about this later."
"We have plenty of time to talk about this now." She stopped pacing and fixed me with a look. "Judeikas, I told you to stay away from Staz. So you, being the spoiled little brat that you are, go over to their house and upset him in front of his family."
"It was an accident," dad said hastily. "Jude, Mrs. Montgomery assured us that it was an accident. She said a lot of little things set Staz off and that there was no way you could've known."
Well, about that...
"It wouldn't have happened if Jude hadn't gone over there!" mom snapped. "Honestly Sydney, stop defending everything that Judeikas does! It's your fault that he thinks he can get away with whatever he pleases."
Dad leaned against the counter. "You're making a big deal out of nothing. Jude, Mrs. Montgomery called us to tell us how mature and responsible you are. She was so happy to see how much you cared to check on Staz. She went on and on about how good of a kid you are. We're proud that you were nice enough to go check on Staz."
"You better not have gone over there to upset Staz on purpose," mom said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
"Jude wouldn't do that!" dad said.
"He's right," I said, standing up. "Now quit wasting my time. I have to go to school."
"Do you see what you've done, Syd? Look how rude your son is!" mom snapped.
"He's going to be late because you're trying to find a reason to be mad at him when there isn't one!" dad argued.
I left the kitchen as they began to argue. My mom could find anything to bitch about when it came to me. Oh well, that was her problem.
I got dressed and hastily left my house, ready to eat and take a nap. But sadly, it was time for me to endure a day of school.
I was anxious for lunch time, when I could use Staz to relieve my stress and exhaustion. My mom always put me in a bad mood. Her bitchiness mixed with my exhaustion was not a good thing. Staz was in for a beating today.
After parking and heading into the school, I leaned against my locker. I really didn't want to be here right now.
"You look like hell," Nate said, coming up to me. "What happened?"
"I didn't sleep last night and my mom decided to greet me with a morning bitch session," I said.
"Rough, dude. You can head to my house afterschool. I'll tell Asher to keep his friends away from you," he said.
I gave a dark grin. "Let Will Duvet come after me. I need to hit something right now."
Nate watched me nervously. "Jude, come on, you're being reckless again. This is how you got yourself into trouble in the first place. You need to calm down."
I raked a hand through my hair, knowing he was right. I took a deep breath and forced my mind into gear. Plan. Just keep scheming things. Keep my mind constantly working.
"Hey guys." Landon stepped up to us. "You okay, Jude? You don't look so great."
"I always look great," I said. "Let's go to class already." I was anxious for lunch. Anxious for a chance to release all of this frustration.
So the three of us went off to class. Lunch came painfully slow, and I was starving by the time we got to the cafeteria.
"Shit," I said as we entered the cafeteria.
"What?" Nate asked.
I let out an annoyed sigh. "I forgot my lunch. My mother was so busy being a prick that I left the house without going back into the kitchen."
"Buy a lunch. Or have some of mine," he said, shrugging.
"Later. That just sunk my mood even more. Let's get Landon and go find Staz," I said, moving towards the table.
I grabbed Landon's arm and yanked him up. He let out a sigh and followed after us as we went out to the hallway.
"You could've just said 'Come on Landon'," he informed me.
"Jude is aggressive," Nate reminded. "Quit being a baby."
Landon punched him. "Shut up."
Nate shoved him away, grumbling out cuss words and rubbing his arm. "You punched me with your ring, idiot!"
Landon grinned. "Wasn't an accident."
Landon wore his father's class ring. His dad had gifted it to Landon after wearing it for years for some cheesy reason about that being the year he fell in love with Landon's mom or something. Landon always wore it now, and Ethan had the scar under his eye to prove it. That thing could hurt if Landon hit you hard enough with it.
"What would your dad say if he knew you were using that beat the shit out of people?" Nate said, jumping away as Landon went to hit him again.
"He'd probably put it on and deck me with it," Landon said, shrugging. "He got it as a senior to remember the year he fell in love with my mom."
See? Lame ass cheesy reason.
"That's so lame," I said, pushing open the door to the art wing and leading them in.
"Hey, with the way marriages are falling apart left and right nowadays, I'm not complaining that my folks have been together since their senior year of high school," Landon said.
"Yea, yea. Shut up," I said, walking down to the room Staz was always in. I kicked the door open and Staz looked up.
"Why?" he said, voice quiet.
"Because I'm an asshole," I said, walking over and grabbing his shirt. I yanked him to his feet so hard that the chair he was on fell over. He stumbled against me and I shoved him at the wall. Staz steadied himself and watched me anxiously.
"I got in trouble yesterday," he said. "Mom said I was embarrassing her again. She told me not to talk to you because you're a good person and I'd just embarrass her again. I'm not supposed to talk to you."
"Do you always do what your mom says?" I asked, grabbing his hair.
He winced. "Of course I do! She's my mom!"
"Good thing she has so many kids. Now it doesn't matter that you and Dante are both disappointments," I said, hoping it'd anger him.
He took the bait. "Dante isn't a disappointment!"
"Really? I heard your family isn't on good terms with him," I said, grinning.
Staz looked horribly upset. "I miss Dante. It's not his fault. They told him he couldn't do what he wanted. They weren't nice to him."
"And they won't be nice to you, either. You're embarrassing to your family. You disappoint them," I said.
Staz looked up at me in shock. "They think that?"
"They do," I said, nodding and releasing his hair. Staz's shoulders slumped in defeat.
"Mom said I'm embarrassing," he said, voice quiet. "But she never said I was a disappointment."
"She thinks you are," I assured him, snatching his latest drawing off of the table. Nate and Landon were watching me, ready to jump in if I wanted them to.
"No!" Staz cried. "Please, I'll draw you something to tear if you want, but not that one! Please!"
Special to him? Even better.
I put it between my fingers, smirking at Staz. "I want to tear this one."
"Please," he begged. "Please, that's for my dad! I wanted to apologize to him for embarrassing him, so I drew him that!"
I looked at the chalky drawing. It was a carefully done blur of a building, full of dim colors and illuminated against a dark backdrop.
"It's 1111 Lincoln Road," Staz said, watching me as I eyed his drawing. "Herzog and de Meuron. My dad likes their work. And Bjarke Ingels."
"Shut up," I said, and he obeyed me. I gripped the drawing again, ready to tear it in half. Give your dad a broken drawing, Staz. He should expect it from his broken kid.
"I'll draw you something that you can tear, Jude! I promise!" Staz said in alarm, seeing that I was going to tear his. "Please, that's for my dad!"
I froze, my own dad rising in my mind. My parents both had big containers where they kept everything I'd ever given to them. Every card, every drawing, every little presents, every note. All the things I had made for them or given to them ever since I was born.
I slowly set the drawing back down. "Landon, go distract Toby so he doesn't come looking for us. He's suspicious already."
"Shit, he can't mind his own business, can he?" Landon groaned. He left the room to go take care of Toby.
"Maybe I won't tear the picture," I said, setting it down on the table and moving towards Staz again.
"Thank you," he said, looking so relieved that I almost regretted threatening to tear the picture in the first place.
"But, you're not getting out of this without a few punches," I said.
I stepped towards him and gripped my head, suddenly feeling lightheaded. I stumbled forward, almost falling.
Staz jumped forward and caught me before I could fall. He let out a whimper as his hands grabbed me to keep me steady, but he didn't let me go.
"Jude!" Nate cried in alarm.
I pushed Staz off of me and stumbled back against the table. Staz watched anxiously as Nate hurried over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Jude, what's wrong?" Nate asked in concern.
"Just lightheaded," I mumbled.
He helped me sit down and I put my knees up, my head between them. I tried to breathe evenly, hoping the feeling would pass quickly. How embarrassing. Now Staz could use this against me.
"Jude?" Staz stepped forward, thumbs pressed against his palms. "Jude, are you okay? I can go get the nurse if you're sick."
"Why the hell are you being nice? I was about to hit you!" I snapped, picking my head up.
"You're really pale," he said. "I can go get the nurse."
"I don't need the nurse!" I said.
"Jude, maybe you should." Nate bite his lip. "You're not looking good. You need to eat something and lie down."
Staz went over and opened his backpack. He pulled out a brown paper bag and offered it to me.
"Here, I haven't eaten my lunch yet," he said.
I smacked it out of his hands. "I don't want your damn lunch. I'm fine."
Nate surprised me by picking the lunch up and forcing it into my hands. "Eat it. You need to eat something, Judeikas."
"Calm down, mom," I said in irritation.
"Just eat it," Nate said. He looked away from Staz. "Thanks, Staz."
I opened the bag and reluctantly began to eat the food inside. Staz watched me, looking like he was counting to himself as he pushed his thumbs into his palms.
"No nurse?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Absolutely not."
"I'm going to go buy you a water. Staz, don't let him get up," Nate said and left the room.
I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. Staz sat down next to me, still covered in chalk. I had a feeling he always had chalk all over him.
"I would've beaten you up if I didn't feel like shit," I informed him. I didn't need him getting the wrong idea.
Staz hugged his knees to his chest. "Why me? Did I do something to you?"
"No. I'm just an asshole." I pushed my hair out of my eyes and took another bite of Staz's lunch.
I opened my eyes, watching Staz. He was staring out of the window in fascination at a bird that was seated in a tree.
"Why the hell do you like birds so much?" I asked.
He smiled, chalk smudged on his face as usual. "I love birds!
Especially parrots. They're members of the order Psittaciformes. A lot of them have bright green in their colors, so I like to draw all of mine with some green in them. There's three families. Cockatoos, Lories, and Parrots," he said, either missing my look of boredom or ignoring it.
"Shut up. I don't care," I said, cutting him off as he started to say another stupid fact. "I was just wondering what your obsession with birds was. I didn't need every fact about parrots that you happen to know."
He shrank down a little and hung his head. "Oh, sorry. Nero and Ian get mad when I talk about birds, too. Mom and dad also get annoyed."
I was just glad that taking care of my shoulder had dulled the pain. I didn't need that on top of the way I felt right now.
Nate opened the door and came in with a water bottle in his hand. He knelt next to me, uncapping it and handing it to me.
I drank a little before capping it and setting it down. Nate helped me stand up and I watched as Staz nervously curled and uncurled his fingers around his thumb.
I gripped his shirt, getting in his face. "You don't tell a damn soul about this, got it?"
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"You're not going to tell anyone, Staz," I growled.
"I won't!" he said.
Nate pulled me away from Staz. "Come on, Jude."
I kicked Staz's lunch at him before leaving the art room with Nate. Nate was bright enough not to say anything about what had happened in there.
Great, how embarrassing. Staz would no doubt use that little scene against me in the future. Shit, I was never going to stop screwing up, was I?
Whatever, I'd handle that later. I'd just have to come up with a way to make sure the little bastard stayed quiet about what had happened to day. For right now, I still felt like hell. I could worry about Staz later.