maybe kinda sad. i'm sorry
-
me and josh didn't continue what i started. instead we put on a movie or two, ate pizza, cuddled, and fell asleep. id be a liar if i said i wasn't comforted. he was good at it, comforting that is. he really was. alas, i woke up before him the next morning.
i rubbed my eyes and looked around the room, not recognizing it as my own. i remembered soon where i was and picked up my phone, checking the time.
4:36 AM
i sighed, i was already awake now. i decided to slip off from the couch, careful not to wake josh. god, he looked so fucking cute in the dark, snuggled up and sleeping. i smiled before grabbing my jacket and my phone, and walking out.
i breathed in the scent of the great forest. its really nice out here. i began to hum a sweet little tune, coming with words to fit as i go.
"down in the forest.
we'll sing a chorus.
one that everybody knows.
hands held higher,
we'll be on fire,
singing songs that nobody wrote."
i began to work with that. i laid down on the grassy ground, looking at the trees, and started going on with it until i had a verse, a chorus, end, middle, a song. it was good, in my opinion. i started to sing it softly,
"I don't know why I feed on emotion.
There's a stomach inside my brain.
I don't wanna be heard,
I want to be listened to.
Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name?
Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name, your name?
I scream, you scream, we all scream,
'Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner.
We stay in place,
'Cause we don't want to lose our lives.
So let's think of something better.
Down in the forest,
We'll sing a chorus,
One that everybody knows.
Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire,
Singing songs that nobody wrote.
My brain has given up,
White flags are hoisted.
I took some food for thought,
It might be poisoned.
The stomach in my brain,
Throws up onto the page.
Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name?
Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name?
I scream, you scream, we all scream,
'Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner.
We stay in place,
'Cause we don't wanna lose our lives.
So let's think of something better.
Down in the forest,
We'll sing a chorus,
One that everybody knows.
Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire,
Singing songs that nobody wrote.
Quickly moving towards a storm,
Moving forward, torn,
Into pieces over reasons,
Of what these storms are for,
I don't understand why everything I adore,
Takes a different form when I squint my eyes,
Have you ever done that?
When you squint your eyes,
And your eyelashes make it look a little not right,
And then when just enough light,
Comes from just the right side,
And you find you're not who you're supposed to be?
This is not what you're supposed to see,
Please, remember me. I am supposed to be,
King of a kingdom or swinging on a swing,
Something happened to my imagination,
This situation's becoming dire,
My tree house is on fire,
And for some reason I smell gas on my hands,
This is not what I had planned.
This is not what I had planned.
Down in the forest.
We'll sing a chorus.
Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire,
Singing songs that nobody wrote.
Down in the forest,
We'll sing a chorus,
One that everybody knows.
Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire,
Singing songs that nobody wrote.
Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire.
Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire."
by the end i was huffing and puffing, and shouting. i didn't notice but a few tears were crawling down the side of my face. i wiped then a few away, looking back up at the trees and bits of sky peeking through.
"that was beautiful.." i shrieked and scrambled up onto my feet, looking towards the voice.
josh stood there, a few feet away with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.
"oh i- i didn't know you were there, sorry."
"don't be, i didn't mean to scare you."
"you didn't."
he scoffed and smiled at me. i smiled back a little. he started to move towards me, crunching the dead parts of trees beneath him. i looked down as he carelessly walked over them.
did i walk over them like that too?
the thoughts were shook from my head as i felt josh wrap his warm arms around me and pull me close in a hug. i obliged and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck. we stood there for a moment, breathing each other in. i moved my head to wear my chin was resting on his shoulder, letting me see everything behind him.
what i thought about was why josh decided to just hide in the trees. why he just listened to me. why i didn't know. i'd want to say hello. i mean i cant say i didn't feel like i was alone, i never do, but i thought it was my paranoia.
why was he hiding in the trees?
--
i'm sorry if all of this is getting real deep you guys. and i guess "next week" really means tomorrow. oh well. who cares. seeya mates.