After the police and FBI arrive and take away Jay's body I go through the paper work and questioning. I can't believe this happened.
"Yo Bailey!"
I look up, "Hey Avalon."
"Hey, you okay?"
"Honestly...no. I've used a gun before, I taken the lives of criminals before...but...Jay."
"Aw, I know you guys were...complicated, but you had to--he was going to kill you," she reassures me.
"I know, I just can't believe this happened," I look down.
"You want to go get some ice cream or something?" she asks in hopes of cheering me up.
"That'd be great...but right now I'd really just like to be alone."
"I understand," she gives me a small hug before rejoining her team who are packing up.
Walking back inside my house I walk up to my room and pull out the box again full of receipts, pictures, gifts, and ticket stubs.
After Jay gave me the pen we texted a lot and trained together on weekends, plus he went to WH so we saw each other a lot since he also ran track, played basketball, and football. A lot of times when my school went on class trips WH was one of the schools that were also there. We met up at football games since he was on the football team and I was in marching band. Freshman homecoming was when I went with Jonny, but we only stayed friends after that. I told Jay about it and he helped me, but I still liked him. The next time I saw him was the weekend after school started when we met up to go on a run together.
"So...how was...your...first day...of school?" Jay huffed.
"It was okay, got to see my friends again...a lot of people...have changed."
"Really...like who?"
"You wouldn't know them but some people just hit puberty and...and they've changed," I feel my cheeks burn red.
Thankfully Jay doesn't bring it up again, "Race you to CVS, then your tired ass can sit down."
"I...ain't...tired," he whined.
"Oh, you're just out of shape. I'm sure your football coach can fix that after a few more workouts," I laugh and speed up.
Arriving at CVS we run to the refrigerator section to fetch two bottles of water. Quickly paying for them we pop them open and guzzle the icy water inside. As we step back outside into the sunlight, we walk across the street to the baseball fields and park. I notice some guys practicing and make sure to stay out of their way. Jay is dragging behind so I stop to watch the game. It's the end of the game and the guys are walking back to their benches to pack up.
"Hey Bailey, you coming up here to practice?" Jonny calls out.
I walk over to him and his friends, "No, I went for a run with a friend. We just got some waters and I stopped to watch, too bad you're all done."
"Oh sorry, if you really want to watch a game you could go to one of my games and cheer me on."
"Maybe I will," I grin.
"Next time I run, I should invite you, see if you can improve your PR for this year," he suggests and smiles before taking a drink of water.
"Hey Bailey," Jay walks up slinging his arm around my shoulder.
"Hi Jay," I respond rolling my eyes.
"You guys dating or something?" Jonny eyes us.
"Nah, we're just friends," I smile and Jonny's smile grows slightly.
"Well nice to meet you man. See you at school, Bailey,"Jonny grins before joining his friends and walking away.
"So that was Jonny?" Jay smirks.
"Yeah...he...yeah, that was him," I bow my head in embarrassment.
"He likes you, I can tell," Jay assures me.
"You think?" I ask.
"Yeah. Come on, why wouldn't he like you?"
"Shut up! Race you back to my place.
We always trained together, even when Jay and I were only friends most of the other recruits at the agency "shipped" us because we were always seen together. The next big event was when my family threw a huge Christmas party with family, co-workers, and friends. Matthew and Mark were allowed to invite five friends together, while I was allowed to invite my own five friends. So along side eight of my cousins I had invited Sam, Francis, Sydney, Ben, and Jonny (Alex couldn't come) and my brothers had invited Tim, Will, Chris, Lee, and Connor. Jay, Molly, and Avalon came because their parents were co-workers with my parents. I always loved huge parties because while the adults sit upstairs in the living room, drinking wine, and discussing politics---all the kids are in the basement doing one of four things:
1) Playing a video game--usually 2K, Black Ops, or Assassin's Creed
2) Board/Card games--Mao, Spoons, Apples to Apples, Speed, Poker, Chess, or Extreme Checkers (a game all the cousins made a few years back)
3) Air Hockey or Pool
4) Watching TV or a Movie
Sam and I were playing Black Ops and kicking my brothers' friends asses, while Sydney and Francis were playing two of my cousins in air hockey. There was an intense round of five card poker between my brothers, Ben, Jonny, some of my other cousins, and Jay. Will, Molly, Avalon, and the rest of my cousins were playing Spoons and it was getting very competitive. For dinner, the kids and adults were again segregated, but we didn't care. At one point Sam and Avalon started a small food fight. Once most of our friends, cousins, most of our co-workers had left it was just Sam, Jonny, my cousins Gabby and Pierce with their parents, Tim and Will with their parents, and Jay with his parents. All the parents were cleaning up and had shooed us away. Of course we went down to the basement and after a little clean up I was going to play Assassin's Creed but Pierce, Tim, Will, and my brothers kicked us off the Xbox. So Gabby, Sam, Jonny, and Jay were watching some Christmas movies.
Gabby leans over and whispers in my ear, "So which one is your boyfriend, Ben, Jay or Jonny?"
"What?" I choke on my soda.
All heads turn to me, "You okay?"
"Y-yeah...Gabby, what the hell," I whisper back.
"You're blushing," she grins.
I roll my eyes, "Shut up, we're just friends."
"Liar, I'll ask Sam."
"Wait what?"
She leans over and whispers in Sam's ear who is sitting on the opposite side of her. Sam looks at me and I shrug indicating for her to tell, whatever.
"Oh," Gabby responds turning back to me.
"What did she tell you?"
"You like Jonny, but Ben likes you, and you and Jay are 'really good friends'."
"Why are the girls whispering?" Jay turns to us.
"Why do you care?" I ask.
"Just curious. You talking about me, how great I am?" he asks flexing.
I face palm him, "Get over yourself."
"Bailey, is Jay bothering you?" Jonny asks.
"Twenty-four seven," I respond.
"Ouch," Jay feigns offense.
"Besides, Bailey was probably talking about me," he grins.
"Uh, right," I say nonchalantly.
Jay who is sitting next to me wraps his arm around my shoulder and bats his eye lashes portraying a puppy dog face, "You don't think I'm great?"
"Eh, not really...slightly above average at most."
*******
Soon Gabby, Pierce, Sam, Will, and Tim left. Matthew, Mark, Jay and I were sprawled out on the couch watch Rudolph sipping hot chocolate. I was getting bored so I walked upstairs, past the drunk adults in the kitchen and into the living room where our Christmas tree stood tall and proud. Sitting down I smoothed out my black skirt and adjusted the cream and gold top to my two piece. The only light came from the soft twinkle of the Christmas lights.
"That's where you went."
I turn around, "Oh...hi Jay."
"Nice tree."
"Yeah, hey follow me, I want to show you something---it'll make you laugh."
We walk into the dining room where the Christmas village is set up and I point up all the hidden gadgets among the normal looking decorations. It's a tradition for my parents to change them each year and then Matthew, Mark, and I have to try to find all of them.
"Look it's the mistletoe," Jay points.
"So it is," I smile.
"Yeah..."
As he leans in I swipe the controller of the buffet table and turn on the mistletoe, I'm so nice. Little berries start shooting at Jay and he jumps back shocked. Sorry, but I told you, only a friend and don't you forget that.
*******
So fast forward to the warmest day of summer before my junior year. I went swimming with my friends and came back to shower and change before heading back out to hang out with my friends for a bonfire. Jay and I started dating during the summer after freshman year, he was gone so I went with Jonny to homecoming my softmore year, we broke just before junior year and got back together back in April. Jay was coming over to drop some new gadgets over. My parents and brothers were out so when I came home I caught Jay. He was planting explosives.
"Jay, what the hell are you doing."
He never responded just bolted and as much as I wanted to chase him I had to get out of the house. Even though I was able to exit the house I was still within range of the explosion. I was blown back. Quickly recovering I caught up to Jay and attacked. he tried to pull a gun on me but I kicked it out of his hands. He may be better at firing guns but when it come to hand to hand combat, I win. When I went in for the finishing blow he pleaded with me and apologized. In that one moment of hesitation and emotional vulnerability, he escaped. Once the adrenaline wore off I had to go to the hospital to get my cuts and burns treated. My heart broke and he never texted me, never called, never contacted me. Later the FBI called a meeting and we were informed that Jay went rouge. The FBI knew that he was related to some not so great people but he was raised by his mother away from all those influences. I classified him as a double agent, a traitor, and a prick.
He lied to me.
After all the sh*t we had been through.
All the dates.
All the moments.
I was stupid to have ever trusted him.
And now he's dead. He's out of my life.
He's gone.