The fight had been long and bloody, the dwarves did not know how to give up and neither did the orcs. They fought and clashed and when King Thror was slain, they thought it was all over.
But then the dwarf prince charged in, taking on their leader, and while the fight continued, many held their breaths.
The prince cut off Azog's hand, and as his shriek of pain and rage echoed through the battlefield, she charged forward to kill the dwarf prince, to defend her master, but as she leapt, as she went for the kill, something happened, and she found herself stopping short.
For a long moment, red eyes stared into blue and all she understood was that she could not hurt him. He stood there, waiting for her to attack, his eyes fierce from the fighting, but even with all she had been trained to do, she could do nothing.
She turns and flees after her master, but even as she does, for the first time in her life, she feels she is going the wrong way.
The battle now over, she sits listening to her masters screams as they try to fix his arm. The orcs who pass her shoot her filthy but scared glances. She would just growl if they got too close, nipping at their feet, and they would back away. She had killed more than her fair share of them over the years.
She was uncomfortable, she did not understand why she had been unable to finish the dwarf, she had never failed to make a kill. Never. It was why Azog used her, because she was good at what she did, she had killed many for him and this was the first time she had failed.
When the call for her head went out, she was more than surprised, but then, if she could not kill for him, what use was she? The surprised was replaced by amusement as she saw the orcs hesitate, something that was often her enemies downfall, these orcs should definitely know better with her.
She tore through them, orc blood spilling to the floor before bolting, it wouldn't take them long to be rid of their nerves and she was no match for the amount of orcs at Azog's command and as much as she hated running, now was the time.
Muscles rippling under heavy black fur caked with blood, she leapt, clearing the large gap of the old fortress, and then she did not stop, her legs pumping as fast as she could to be clear of any danger as orc shrieks followed her.
It wasn't until she bounded into a bright, sunny clearing, that she stopped, howling with pain as the sunlight burnt her eyes and she retreated to the edge of the forest, where there was shade, that she stopped.
She used the moment to catch her breath, her large form breathing hard. It wasn't until she steadied herself that she thought of something.
She was free.
What this meant, she wasn't entirely sure. Her entire life had been spent in the service of Azog, it was all she could remember. She didn't know of the world beyond where he had been.
Sniffing the air, she slowly stepped free from the forest, allowing her darkness sensitised eyes to adjust to blinding light. Once in the open, she drew in a long deep breath. The air was strange, so many scents hit her at once and yet, there was no threat, no sense of being hit at any moment.
With a happy yip, she bounded over to a particularly grassy spot and began to roll around it, the grass feeling great against her coat. This was all very new to her.
She stayed out in the plain, even chasing after butterflies, until she realised she was thirsty. She went in search of a stream, following the smell of water in the air.
Finding one, she padded along in it for a while, the water soothing her feet, which only now she thought of as sore. It led her to a waterfall and for a long time she stared at it, this was something new, she had never seen a waterfall before, the sound of cascading water was oddly soothing.
Her body spasmed and she whimpered. She wasn't used to feeling pain like this, pain was meant to be pushed to the far corner of your mind, somewhere that it couldn't affect you in a fight. She whimpered again as more pain shot through her body and then she was changing.
The fur started to fall away as she shrank, the snout receding back and the tail disappearing. The paws changed to hands and her back straightened out, as she collapses down into the water.
Gasping, now on her hands and knees, she stares at her hands. It had been a long time since she had seen her hands, even as filthy as they were. Slowly, she flexes them, getting feeling into them and she tried to push herself up, only to whimper again, her muscles not used to this form.
She was covered in blood and old scars covered her body, her black hair was matted and hung heavily on her head. A vague memory of being told to keep it short reached her, but she had spent so long as a wolf that it didn't seem to matter.
Wolf. Why was that word strange to her? It was what she was.
No, she was more than that, this human form was her as well.
Crawling forward, she collapses into the deeper water, allowing the cold to seep into her body. It was refreshing and even though her naked form was heavily exposed, she felt no shame. This was normal wasn't it?
After almost an hour, she pulls herself up on the bank, shaking herself dry, her black hair still wild and filthy. As she does, she catches her reflection in the water. She crouches back at the water's edge and starts, bright silver eyes staring back at her, a deep scar running down next to her left eye. Tilting her head in confusion, she could not remember ever having silver eyes, every other time she remembered becoming human, her eyes had been a rich amber or red, much like her wolf.
What had happened to her?
She stays there for a long time thinking about this, thinking about how quickly her life had been so suddenly changed. Her entire life had been spent at Azog's side, she was his assassin, his weapon, and she knew nothing else.
Fear.
The word crept down her spine causing her to growl. She did not like that word.
But it continued to plague her, she knew nothing about the world, knew nothing about herself. Who was she? What was she? It had never been an option to know this, she knew only to kill, she knew only how to make things bleed and suffer and bring them before her master if needed.
Blackfoot.
The word crept forward from her memory, it had been what she was known as, not so much a name, as a title, and yet she could not remember why.
Growing weary, she realises night is falling, and while not afraid of the dark, she knew it was wiser to seek shelter tonight. She finds it in a nearby cave, where she snuggles in the back, her muscles complaining of trying to sleep in human form, eventually causing her to turn back into a wolf to sleep.
Many weeks past and she finds herself simply walking, there was no sign of any orcs following, no sign that she was in any danger. She wasn't running away from anything instead she felt she was heading towards something, what exactly, she wasn't sure. This world was strange to her, but even her curiosity did not stop her moving forward, half the time as a wolf, half the time as a human, she felt it was important to know her human self now, a part of her knowing that most of the world would be terrified of her wolf form.
If it was after a rough night sleep that she came out of a cave to find someone waiting for her. She growled, instantly on guard, staring at the grey cloaked figure before her.
He spoke, but she couldn't understand what he was saying, speech wasn't a part of her knowledge either. He seemed to understand this, giving a gentle smile through his thick grey beard and he holds his hands out in a non-threatening manner, stopping her growl.
He starts speaking again, his speech clearly different, when he gets no response again, he tries a different language. This goes on for several minutes until-
"I mean you no harm."
She tilts her head, a little stunned that she could understand the harsh and ugly language coming out of his mouth.
"Ah, I finally found what you can understand?"
Slowly, she nods.
"Good, then we are getting somewhere." He rummages through his bag and pulls out a large cloak. "Would you mind putting this on dear? You must be cold."
She looks at the cloak with distaste.
The man chuckles. "If you intend to enter civilisation, you are going to have to get used to clothes. Most people don't appreciate a naked form running around."
It was strange, but she found herself trusting him but still hesitantly takes the cloak. For a moment she struggles to wrap it around herself, being confused by even the simple style of material.
He chuckles. "Not used to clothes? Here."
He approaches cautiously and she freezes, unsure of his intentions, he must know that she could kill him easily? However, his hands simply moves and straighten out the cloak for her so it sat right, covering her naked form. The material felt strange against her skin, but it also gave a welcoming warmth, much like her fur when she was a wolf.
"That's better." He steps away, looking down at her. "You've made quiet the impression around here, certainly sticking out when you are in your wolf form."
She frowns at this. She had seen no one in these last couple of weeks, purposefully avoiding it, what was he talking about?
"It's not just the people that talk," he spoke knowledgeably. "You've had the poor birds, trees and beasts terrified."
She remains frowning.
"Hmm, perhaps it would be better if I introduce myself? I am Gandalf. Gandalf the Grey." He gives her a kind smile again.
She knew that name and it clearly showed on her face. Maybe he wouldn't have been so easy to kill after all.
"Good, you've heard of me, that makes things a little easier. Tell me, do you know your name?"
She had no answer for him, not only because she did not know, but because she had no way of speaking.
He seemed to understand both these things. "Yes, I would imagine you wouldn't know of such things, but I can hardly go on calling you Blackfoot now can I?"
She growls at this. Even though that had been her life, she wanted nothing to do with it now, the name feeling like a taint on her soul. Again, she could not explain why.
Gandalf holds up his hands. "It's alright, I have no intention of calling you such, just let me think for a moment." He stares at her carefully, observing her body language and his gaze finally resting on her eyes. "Selene."
A name. It felt strange to her, but she liked it, it felt unique, her own. The first thing she had ever owned. Nodding once, Gandalf grins.
"Selene it is. Now, we just have to figure out what to do with you. Do you know what you are?"
The question took her off guard and she steps away nervously, another low growl leaving her throat. This was not something she was comfortable with, shouldn't everything know what they are?
"Hmmm, I didn't think you would. Well, I think before we get to that, you need to learn how to speak, after all, if you intend to eventually come across people, you will need to know how to speak to them, I doubt they will appreciate being growled at."
And so, despite everything she had ever known and done, she found herself accompanied by Gandalf, who didn't seem to care about all that even though he clearly knew who and what she was, and instead focused on teaching her the common tongue, something much nicer than the harsh language of orcs that she knew.
It was slow going, after all her mouth had never even uttered a syllable before, all she knew was to growl and bark and howl, something she tried to keep to a minimum but it came out when she was frustrated. He tried to teach her patience as well, something he seemed to have bounds of and she had little.
She wanted to ask why he was helping her, she couldn't understand it, as far as she knew, she was an enemy to him, an enemy to most on Middle Earth, and he just treated it with casual grace and ease, as if she was just a new friend that he had made. She thought about this often, she saw herself as an enemy but held no animosity for those she was meant to be an enemy of, so did that mean she was actually not an enemy?
Finally, after what seemed like ages, she was able to say her name.
"S-se-sele-selene." It felt strange and she licked her lips nervously.
"Very good." Gandalf said happily. "See, I told you, you could do it, it just takes time."
She rolls her eyes and spoke it with more confidence. "Selene."
"At least now you can introduce yourself, let's hope that it doesn't have to go beyond that yet." She was understanding common tongue most of the time now too, making Gandalf more comfortable. He would still have to explain some words, but she was getting better. "You are a fast learner Selene, you should be talking in no time."
While Selene was happy with the knowledge of speech, she wasn't so happy that he kept insisting on not being in her wolf form.
"You will be recognised as soon as you do so." He said irritably. He'd told her off countless times. "It is important you remain as a human. You have made a lot of enemies all these years, and none will look too kindly on you in your wolf form, they will not even hesitate to kill you, not to mention, no doubt Azog it still hunting you."
She always growled at this, wanting to tell him that she'd like to see them try. She was still more comfortable in wolf form than human, especially trying to sleep. She'd already ruined several cloaks though, accidently turning and ripping them to shreds, this was what usually caused the lectures.
They had encountered few people along the path they took, and it didn't take her long to realise Gandalf did this on purpose. He made sure that little attention was drawn to her as well, something she was grateful for. On one of these occasions, it was a young elf warrior and when he saw her and the condition of her hair (something she'd been trying unsuccessfully to clean) he insisted on taking care of it.
It was strange and he was babbling in an even stranger language to Gandalf as he tugged at her hair, she was biting down a growl as the tugging was hurting a fair bit.
"Gandalf." She said, giving him a purposeful look that she knew he would understand.
Gandalf gave a sheepish look. "Ah, of course. He says that a fair maiden such as yourself should not have such messy hair."
She frowns. She was not pretty little thing, she was a warrior.
Gandalf chuckles. "Don't worry, I have explained that you are a fighter, but he insists."
The elf babbled behind her again.
"Hmm, he says a lot of your hair is beyond repair and he has to cut it. Is that alright?"
She'd been considering doing that anyway if Gandalf had only let her near a knife. She nods.
Sometime later, her hair now at jaw level, she felt freer and did not rid the grin from her face. It was still a bit ragged, but the elf assured her that it would clear up with time.
The elf left them and they continued on their way.
"Why?" She asked, she was still learning, but at the moment, one word was often enough to say what she meant.
"Why? Why did he help?" She nods. "Well, I may have convinced him, you cannot deny that your hair has been annoying you?"
Selene frowns, it had been, but she felt it didn't explain everything, her look telling him so.
He sighs. "Because we are approaching a town and I wanted you to look less...wild."
"Town?" She repeated, feeling nervous.
"Yes. I need to gather some supplies, and this may be good for you." Gandalf clearly avoided her eye as they walked.
Selene growled, not wanting to be thrown into this. "No."
"You will because you need to learn to blend in, plus, I think some proper clothes are in order."
She stops and folds her arms. "Condition."
He raises an eyebrow back at her. "You want a condition?"
She shakes her head. "Will go. One condition."
"Oh? And what would that be?"
Holding his gaze, she stood firm. "Weapon."
This clearly made him nervous, it wasn't that he didn't trust her, but the idea made him incredibly uncomfortable. "You want a weapon?" She nods. "Selene I'm not sure that is the best idea..."
"Normal. Need weapon."
"Well, woman don't normally carry weapons..."
She was not going to back down. "Fighter. Need weapon. Or wolf."
Gandalf sighs. "Oh, alright, but don't expect it to go down well."
A few days later they reached the town, mostly filled with farmers and workers. They first went to a store where Selene could buy clothes, Gandalf was clearly known as many called out to him.
A woman greeted them inside. "Ah! Gandalf! Need some clothes mended again?"
"Not today, no, instead my friend here requires some."
The woman looks Selene up and down. "Traveling with dwarves now Gandalf? She looks a little worse for wear."
Selene was surprised by this, she mightn't know what she was but she knew she wasn't a dwarf, dwarves definitely could not turn into large wolves at will.
Gandalf catches her expression. "Uh, she's not a dwarf, just unfortunately short for a woman."
The woman looks surprised, but she smiles friendly at Selene. "Oh, apologies my lady. Well, any friend of Gandalf is welcome here, let's see what we can do for you."
So, Selene found herself very uncomfortable as the woman talked away and went through a lot of different materials in different colours. Selene felt ridiculous, having never gone through such a thing and found it very unnecessary, something clearly showed on her face as Gandalf laughs, puffing away at his pipe.
After a few hours, she found herself dressed, shoes and all, and sitting grudgingly at a table, a plate of food in front of her. The clothes she could handle, the shoes however were hurting her feet.
"Cheer up Selene, it's better than what you had." Gandalf said across from her.
As much as she appreciated the warmth the clothes provided, they were irritating. "What about wolf?"
"Well...if you really need to that much you will have to get undressed first."
Despite everything, she found her cheeks growing hot, something she didn't understand.
Gandalf chuckles. "It's called embarrassment my dear, a reaction that is oddly comforting. It means that your animal side is not as dominant as I thought."
This is also confusing. "Mean?"
He sighs. "Here is not the place to explain it. Later."
They spent a few days in the town, Selene getting her first experience of a bed, something she wasn't entirely sure about, although it was more comfortable than the ground they had been traveling on. She also kept trying to walk around without shoes on, but Gandalf would always tell her off.
After a few days and Gandalf buying her a sword, still reluctantly, they were on the road again.
The sword felt good in her hand and memories of being younger returned to her, times where she was equally as good as a human as her wolf. She couldn't remember why she was as a wolf for so long. She practised swings and moves as they walked.
"If I'd known that you were that confident with a sword, I would've given you one earlier." He said as they walked, watching her swing away giving him some confidence that it was the right decision.
It was only now that she stopped, realising that they were going back the way they came.
"Wrong." She said, stopping.
Gandalf looked at her. "What?"
"Wrong." She frowned, wondering what other words she could use, she points back the way they just came from, towards the town. "Back."
Gandalf was clearly confused. "We are going back this way, I have something I need to do."
Selene was shaking her head. "No. That way." She had no way of explaining it, she just knew she was going the wrong way.
"Selene, I don't know what you intend on doing on your own, but if you insist, you may go. I must go this way." He turns as if to walk away.
"Wait." She calls, she didn't want to be on her own, as much as she wanted to go the other way, it was still too dangerous. She wasn't happy about this admission, even if it was to herself.
He watches her. "Do you know why you want to go that way?" She shakes her head and he thinks, but says nothing on it. "I see, perhaps once I am done, we can come back this way, find what you are looking for." He starts to walk and she follows. "Now, I am going to have to leave you with a friend, he is a wizard, like me, granted a bit stranger, but still as reliable."
She raises an eyebrow at this. Everything about the wizard was strange, she doubted that anyone could be stranger.
"You should feel a bit more at home though, he prefers the company of animals to other people, so he'll let you get away with your wolf form a bit more, as long as you don't kill any of his friends."
She snorts, she hadn't killed anything in her wolf form since she hadstarted with Gandalf, and as much as her wolf missed hunting, she wasn't aboutto let it go, feeling that it would be taking her a step backwards instead offorwards. Hopefully, Gandalf's friendwas as lax as he said he was so she could enjoy a bit more freedom.