First Impression: I love the summary!
Your strongest quality in writing is probably your ability to create well rounded characters with distinct personalities. I love how I can really see what kind of person Hailey is through the way she acts and the way she talks to Luke. You have a great start that is very well written, and I like the dialogue that happens between Hailey and Luke. You have a great writing style that is shown throughout the story. I also love the humor in this story, and some parts had me laughing. I also really like your song choices. You should totally make a song playlist and post it in the beginning of the book! Some minor edits are that I recommend not having the parentheses when writing about thoughts that are inside characters' heads. You could italicize them, but it just seems a little weird with parentheses. Also, the main thing I found is that there's not really a major distinct conflict, it's just us following the lives of Hailey and Luke. I do like how Luke brings out a new side of Hailey, but we kind of just follow them around as they live their lives, and the story doesn't really work towards a specific climax. I suggest having some major conflict that they both try to solve and work towards overcoming, and as they go through this journey, they find themselves or whatever you want the characters to develop into. Other than that, I find this story very interesting!
Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)
If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it!
If you have some time, please do comment below your rating of how helpful this review was for you! (out of 5 stars) I want your honest feedback, because it helps me :) Thanks!
- bluecrayonlady