Athella,
I think I've figured out
why they call love
hopeless.
It eats away at your soul,
makes you crave the one thing -
the one person -
that you know you cannot have.
It's desperate and cruel,
this love,
and fills you with a despair
that makes you want to
disappear off the face of the earth
and cry your heart out
simultaneously.
Hopeless is a nice way
of describing my feelings for you,
Athella.
It's a constant agony
I must live with
now that I am out of reach
of the radiant sun
that you are.
Where I once basked
in your presence,
I now weep in your shadow,
and wish for your
renewed attention
and criminal affection -
however false it all was.
A whisper of a kiss
is better than none at all,
I'd like to think.
And I do miss
the way your lips felt
pressed against mine -
whispering, always whispering
of the secrets locked tight
behind them.
You could never love me,
but you played me on
as though you did
until the bitter end.
Now, all I have left
are the tainted memories
of what I'd thought we had.
I should be angry with you,
I know,
for the countless ways
you have hurt me -
are still hurting me now.
I should loathe you -
but all I can feel now is
this burning love,
this fiery passion -
this hopeless desire.
And quite honestly,
it is killing me.
With love,
Rhys