Alicia P.O.V
The next day I woke up and just laid in bed. I didn't really know what to do or if Cali had something planned for the day. So nuch on my mind its crazy with all these mixed feelings I don't know if I'm getting out of bed today.
This trip was supposed to be fun and I don't want this to ruin it but my mind is so cloudy. I need time so I'm just gonna text Cali to enjoy her day. After I laid there for about an hour I started to doze off.
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When I woke up I saw Jay sitting there with his back towards me and I just looked at him. His broad shoulders, toned arms, the smooth color of his caramel skin. I miss him but i'm still really upset. I don't know which way to go. I want answers but I don't want to talk to him it's so hard.
"I can feel you looking at me Li...when we gone talk about this huh? It's driving me crazy baby girl."
He knows I can't take it when he calls me that. He's pushing me...
"I don't know Jay I... I just don't have the energy to talk about this anymore. It's too much for me." I had to be honest with him. My depression makes everything way harder to deal with things so even though part of me wants to talk, the other part is mentally incapable, not to mention I haven't been taking my medication.
"Can you go in my suit case and hand me my meds please? It's the black one..." I closed my eyes until he put it in my hand. I felt a headache coming on and it was bright in the room.
"Meds for what? When did this start?" I'm surprised he didn't put two and two together.
" Remember when I told you that I almost killed myself over you? Well the meds are for my depression and I better take them before I lose my mind." I know I started to sound bitchy. I get agitated when I'm tired.
"Well I can tell one of your headaches is coming on so can I lay with you?"
Of course he would ask but these meds make me tired and I already had my eyes closed so I couldn't even say nothing back. I was hoping he would take that as a no. As I turned on my side I felt his arms wrap around me. He was so warm and I couldn't even fight it. I just laid there and drifted back into sleep.
I missed him.
Jay P.O.V
Holding someone never felt so good. I missed this girl so much and I don't know if she not fighting me cause she tired or because she missed me too but I'm enjoying this while I can. I wan't this girl so bad she's my life. I never want to let her go. I'ma do whatever it takes to win her back.
I don't even know what's in store for the next few days cause they still got some time. I gotta plan something big to show her that I'm serious.
I gotta get her a ring. I don't even care if she says no I'll keep asking her until she says yes. It's hard for me to come to terms with how everything went down since our fight. I lost my mind when she said those words to me and I never knew I could be hurt like that until it happened. Even up to the moment I realized that she probably didn't mean it, I still couldn't stop myself from getting on that plane.
Even when I got where I was going it was so lonely. Sure I had my business up and running but it wasn't the same. I ain't have my partner in crime, Greg and I didn't have my other half. Shit, I even missed having Cali's wild ass around. I have all the money I could wish for and it ain't mean nothing without my family. Needless to say, I'm happy to be back into this space with all three of them and I hope stuff can get back to how it used to be when everyone was happy.
Sometimes I feel like such a bad person for leaving everybody like that. I know I dropped a bomb on all of them when I left and I shouldn't have put my bro in that situation knowing that Cali had stuff going on with herself and her baby. Greg was supposed to be by her side, and she was supposed to be happy about her child and I distracted from all of that. I'ma make it up to everybody and the whole situation is gonna be better from here.
I think I gotta set something up for all of us so I can apologize to them formally and make things right again. I can't just expect everything to be all good after that happened. I'm determined to be a better man for myself and for everyone else, Especially Alicia.
Alicia P.O.V
"Can't you see how you just ruin everything you come in contact with? After you got kicked out mom and dad got divorced. After being with Jay you hurt him so much that you pushed him to run away. Just because he's holding you now doesn't mean that you'll keep him. He's gonna run away again and you'll be all alone like you deserve! You're a horrible person." My sister Averi said.
"Stop! I'm not a bad person, I love Jay and he loves me. Dad's happy with or without mom. It's not my fault!!" I said. I feel like I'm being tortured why is she saying these things to me. I know I'm not a bad person and I know they forgive me.
"Just face it bitch, no one loves you so why are you still here? You should've killed yourself the first time, but you know it's not too late to try again. Think about it, you know you'll push Jay away again, then Cali and Greg. The only person you'll have left is Dad and of course you'll do something to push him away so why not die now before you do that?" She said, I became scared at this point. My own sister was trying to push me to kill myself, knowing I'm going through a lot right now. I won't do it. I refuse to let anyone dictate my life.
"No, fuck you Averi, I am a good person I'm not killing myself!" I told her sternly. I have too much to live for and I want to be here.
All of a sudden I felt a pair of hands around my neck and I struggled to breathe. It was Averi choking me. "Stop I'm your sister!" I shouted as I continued to lose my breath. Why is she trying to kill me, I don't get it. I did nothing to her. I could feel myself loosing feeling. I continued to fight harder and harder until I couldn't fight any longer.
I took my last breath and then.....
Jay P.O.V
"Alicia! Wake up ma, wake up!" I said as I shook her trying to wake her up. She was squirming and flailing her arms like she was having a nightmare. As soon as I got her to wake up she was gasping for air like she couldn't breathe. "What's going on baby girl? Tell me what's wrong..." I hoped she would tell.
"My dream, Averi was trying to kill me, I died I felt it I.... my own sister tried to kill me. Why? I haven't talked to her in a year. I really can't breathe Jay." She said sounding winded "Please hold me, please" Shit she ain't have to tell me twice.
"Alicia, listen to me. I don't know what happened in your dream and I don't expect you to tell me about it until you are ready. But I wanna get this off my chest. I love you so much and I'm sorry I left you like that. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that you were gone from this world...my world. I never want to hurt you again and I'ma do everything in my power to show you that. I know you been going through some things and I can promise you from today for the rest of my life that you'll never have to face anything alone as long as I'm alive. No matter what comes our way I know that I wouldn't wanna go through any of it without you. I really need you baby girl and when you trust me again I'll be here and I'm never looking back. You got my heart and I hope to have yours again one day. I'm all in Alicia and I'll give you every piece of me until I have no more left to give. You have my heart and I won't ever give it to no one else. I'll be here for you... for us until the end of time. Holding you right now makes me sure that I don't ever wanna lose you. I love you baby."
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Sorry it's so short and I'm so sorry about the delay. I had writers block for the longest and I just relocated to Ocoee, Florida. So first things first I need friends bruh! Lol, if you're between 18-20 and live close by then feel free to message me because I'm dying here. I like it though and I love the weather it's much different from Cleveland.
Anyway I will try to get my act together and do more updates, it'll be much easier since I know where I'm going with this again. I am sorry again for the long ass delay but I am back and I'm inspired. As always if you have anything that you would like to see happen then let me know and I will try to incorporate in the book and of course I'll give the credit where it's due. Anything from scenes, or new characters, places where you want to see them travel to, ANYTHING! Thank you guys so much for sticking by me through my writers block. I appreciate you all so much.
-Monica <3