After reading her a story and singing three songs, Molly finally had Sara asleep. All the frustration Molly had felt throughout the day evaporated as she'd looked down on Sara's sleeping face. Innocent and trusting. With her blonde curls and long eyelashes, she looked like a slumbering angel. Kim had been raising this little spitfire all on her own, and Molly had a new appreciation for the courage and commitment it took to be a parent. Not to mention a single one.
The hall was quiet, and she assumed Jason had gone as she quietly descended the stairs. He didn't even wait to say goodbye, she thought, feeling a little let down and a little relieved at the same time. It was probably just as well. Seeing him was hard enough. It brought back all the memories of their breakup, and worse, the memories of when times had been good. And it had been good—for a long time. But that was over. It would be better for everyone if they tried to keep out of each other's way over the next few weeks.
Wandering to the kitchen, she sighed. Having kids required sacrifices. Sacrifices she was positive she wasn't ready to make. In that she was sure she'd made the right choice. She had too many things to do before she thought about having children of her own. She remembered the way Jason had kissed Sara's head as he'd given her milk that afternoon. No, she was where she wanted to be. No matter how the sight of Jason and Sara together twisted her insides.
She was in the middle of pouring water into the electric kettle when Jason spoke behind her.
"You making tea?"
She spun, splashing water on the counter. "I thought you'd gone."
"I probably should have."
Her body shook, not from the surprise but because he was here, in the flesh, and she'd been thinking about him. His posture was relaxed, but everything about him made her pay attention. Right now it was the dimple crawling up his cheek that distracted her.
Molly turned back and shut off the tap. "I'm extremely tired," she explained stiffly. "Sara only slept half an hour today and I didn't sleep very well stranded at the airport last night."
"You actually slept in the airport?"
"We were only delayed, not cancelled. Except the delay ended up being most of the night. I didn't take the hotel voucher. I was afraid I'd miss the next flight and I wanted to get here as soon as I could." She plugged in the kettle and searched for a mug and the tea bags, deliberately taking out only one. "Whatever you stayed to say, I'd rather get into it another time."
She dropped the tea bag into a mug and faced him. He was staring at her steadily, his expression unreadable.
"What are you thinking?" The words came out slightly breathless, and she grimaced inwardly.
"I'm thinking about how beautiful you still are. I can't believe I'd forgotten." He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorway to the kitchen.
Her heart beat erratically as a memory slid in, unwanted. Their first kiss, on prom night. They'd been slow dancing, and he'd curled a hand around her neck and whispered, "You are so beautiful." Even then, at the innocent age of seventeen, the smoothness of his voice had been able to raise all the fine hairs on her body. When he'd leaned in to touch his lips to hers, meeting them had been the most natural thing in the world.
She stiffened, defending herself against memories. "It's been six years, Jason. I'm here for exactly three weeks. That's all."
"So I hear. Why did you agree to come exactly, Molly?"
She unplugged the kettle as it began to scream. "Because Kim asked me. Because she's my only sister and she needs me."
"Molly to the rescue, is that it?"
Pouring the water and ignoring the bitterness in his voice, she replied, "Nothing of the kind. I had some holidays coming to me, and I brought work with me. There's no reason I can't do both."
Jason laughed sharply, then boosted himself away from the door with a shoulder and took another mug out of the cupboard.
"What's so funny?" Molly dipped out her tea bag, added milk and took a sip as she noticed he knew exactly where to find things in Kim's kitchen.
"You thinking you can work and keep an eye on Sara. Believe me, it's not as easy as you think."
"You did it. Just this morning, in fact."
He eyed her shrewdly. "Yes, I did. And it wasn't easy, juggling animals and clients and kids for five hours. Thankfully, my staff likes Sara as much as I do. We've all been making do and helping out."
He made it sound as if he were such a paragon of virtue. She'd never met anyone who could make her feel as small and incapable as Jason Elliot. She took her cup and walked away, heading for the living room before she said something snotty and rude. Why couldn't he just leave so she could get some sleep? She was sure she wouldn't be so crabby if she could get seven or eight hours of uninterrupted rest.
He followed her, to her supreme annoyance.
"Sara's favorite breakfast foods are toast with peanut butter and apple juice or toaster waffles and syrup. But she doesn't like any butter on them, just the syrup."
"I'm sure we'll manage just fine."
"She's potty trained, so you'll be okay there."
"Jason, stop it." Molly put her cup on an end table and clenched her fists. "I can handle it. Sara can actually speak for herself, quite well for a girl her age, I think. I'm twenty-seven years old and have been looking after myself for some time now. I don't need you to ride in on your white horse and save the day, got it? You're free to get back to your practice. You've made sure we're settled. Your duty to us is hereby discharged."
She cringed at her shrewish tone. She didn't want to pick a fight or stir up recriminations. What was it about him that got under her skin?
"You really haven't changed, have you?" Jason put down his own cup and squared off against her. He was only inches away, close enough she could smell his cologne. He flexed his fingers, snapping the index ones with his thumbs. "You always had to do everything yourself. Had to prove yourself. Do everything your way, with no help from anyone."
"You know why," she answered in a low, threatening voice. Their gazes locked and hers warned him not to dig too deep into the past. He knew the secrets she held inside, the ones that brought out that need for independence and her eyes begged him not to use them against her now.
He snorted with derision but backed off just a little. "I thought that after all these years, you'd be over it. I should have known."
"And I would have thought that you'd have learned you can't control other people's lives and have everything your way. But I guess you haven't changed either," she retorted without thinking. She pressed a hand to her forehead, annoyed that she'd been goaded into responding. Six hours. Less than six hours home and they were arguing already.
"So where does that leave us?" Agitated, he ran his hands through his hair, his eyes openly hostile.
She smiled thinly. "Exactly where we were before today. You have your life. I have mine. Let's keep it that way."
"Fine," he bit out, glaring. "You'll be begging for my help before the week is out."
He stomped to the door and she heard it slam behind him. "The hell I will," she muttered to herself.
*
Molly was exhausted by the time Jason picked them up to go to the hospital the following evening. She'd broached the subject of going without him to Sara and had met with stiff resistance. The child was clearly attached to her "Uncle" Jason, and rather than rock the boat, Molly acquiesced. How one child could demand so much attention, she wasn't sure. But she knew that keeping the house in order and entertaining Sara had filled her day, leaving her no time to even open her briefcase.
The dinner mess was at least tidied up when he arrived. He looked big and outdoorsy-handsome in his thick brown coat and heavy boots. His hair had been whipped up by the winter wind, his cheeks were ruddy with cold. She opened the door, left it ajar and went to get her own coat, leaving him standing silently in the gap while the brisk air rushed into the foyer.
"Come on, Sara. It's time to go."
Sara came around the corner carrying a teddy bear and a folded piece of paper. Molly fluffed her hair over the collar of her coat and knelt to help Sara put on her winter boots.
They still hadn't spoken, and it was getting on Molly's nerves—feeling his big presence behind her, knowing he was standing there. Close enough to touch. Close enough to be folded into those strong arms, enveloped in his jacket. How she could want to and still feel so hostile toward him confused her.
"Why don't you drive my rental?" she suggested, stuffing Sara's arms into her jacket. "That way we don't have to move the seat back and forth."
"Fine," he said quietly. She could feel the heat from his body as he leaned inside further, reaching to pick up the keys from the small table by her left hip. Her heart beat just a little bit faster at the his nearness.
"Okay!" she said brightly to Sara while her insides trembled. It wasn't only Jason. She was going to see Kim, too, and was afraid of what she might see, how she might feel seeing her sister lying broken in a hospital bed. She hadn't seen Kim in a couple of years. This wasn't exactly how she'd envisioned their next meeting.
"We're all ready. Got your card?"
Sara held up her folded paper in a fuzzy mitten.
"I've got my purse. Let's go."
She locked the door behind them, leaving on the porch light. The sedan was already warming up, and Jason came forward to scoop up Sara and secure her in her seat. Head held high, Molly opened the passenger door herself and got inside, buckling her seat belt.
He pulled out of the drive, everyone eerily quiet.
She glanced over at his legs. He was in jeans again, faded ones that creased at the knee as he sat. His jaw held a hint of dark stubble, and his fingers—those long, glorious fingers—were gripping the steering wheel, encased in brown leather gloves that matched his coat.
Fingers that had touched her intimately years before. Fingers that had wiped her tears and had fed her chocolates at Christmas. Fingers that he'd once loved to sink into her hair...ones that had touched her skin...
Scowling, she turned her head and stared out the window at the inky darkness of the river as they headed into Fredericton. Ten minutes. In ten minutes, they'd be at the hospital and out of this silent prison. In ten minutes, she could stop smelling him and feeling him so close.
"Uncle Jason?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Are you mad at Aunt Molly?"
Before she could stop it, Molly's head swiveled in his direction and his gaze met hers. She felt her heart leap at the emotion there. It wasn't animosity. It was acceptance. Acceptance of the inevitability of how things were between them. She wondered if her eyes mirrored the same thoughts. That the things they hadn't resolved six years ago still hung between them.
He looked in the rearview mirror as he answered the child. "No, Sara. I'm not mad at your Aunt Molly."
"Then why aren't you talking?"
Molly hid a smile and waited for his answer.
"Aw, we're just thinking about seeing your mommy again. I know she's excited to see you."
Molly's lips curved deeper at his clear manipulation, turning the topic away from them.
"I made her a card."
"I see that. She'll love it. I know she misses you. But she still has an owie, okay? You'll have to be very careful getting up on her bed and stuff."
"I know."
Molly stared out the window again, wondering about the thought process of a three-year-old. What did Sara think and understand about what had happened to her mother? Did she even grasp the enormity of the accident? Cracked ribs and a ruptured spleen were nothing to fool with, and neither was a concussion. It had been the better part of a week and this was the first time Kim had been alert enough to see her own daughter. Molly didn't even know exactly what had happened. All Kim had been able to manage through the medications was a brief phone call asking for help. The weak, thready voice on the line had frightened Molly sufficiently. She'd started making arrangements as soon as her hands had stopped shaking. She had meant to ask as soon as she arrived, but seeing Jason had made her so uncomfortable that she'd tried to keep their conversations to a minimum.
Now her sister was well enough for them to visit, and Molly was glad Kim was recovering nicely despite the seriousness of her injuries. She hadn't hesitated to come and help, but she only had three weeks off and then she had to be back to work. She thought back to the files she'd brought with her. Land leases and royalty contracts. Even on vacation, she couldn't afford to slack off a bit. A week after her scheduled return, she'd have her performance review and she'd know if she got her promotion. A promotion that would entitle her to a corner office with her own paralegal and a raise—not to mention a lovely stock option.
She smiled to herself. She never would have had the same opportunity had she stayed in New Brunswick. Moving to Calgary and getting into the corporate legal business had been her smartest move. And she'd never regretted her decision. Much.
Jason pulled into the hospital parking lot, went down the second row and found a space.
"Okay, munchkin. Let's go see your mama."
He carried Sara inside and went straight to the information desk, Molly trailing behind.
"I'm looking for Kim Shaeffer's room number, please."
The woman behind the desk peered at her computer screen over her glasses, then looked up owlishly. "Who is visiting?"
He smiled his most charming smile, eyes twinkling. "Her daughter and her sister."
The woman wasn't fooled. "And you are?"
Without missing a beat, he winked at the woman and answered, "Her husband."
Molly saw the woman's lips twitch slightly before she handed him a slip of paper and shooed him on his way.
They crowded into the elevator. Molly knit her brows together and hissed, "That was shameful."
Jason shrugged, unconcerned as he hit the button for the proper floor. "It's immediate family only. It's no big deal."
Molly stiffened her spine. It shouldn't bother her that Jason Elliot got a kick out of pretending to be her sister's husband. It shouldn't matter that he could still turn on the charm and women simpered. But it did, and she was severely annoyed with herself for letting it affect her. He'd probably done it simply to antagonize her, she thought, and shoved her hands into her coat pockets. After tonight, she was going to avoid him every chance she got. She was here to look after Sara and Kim. That was it. She wasn't here to take nauseating walks down memory lane with Jason. What would be the point?
The doors slid open and she looked up at Sara, happily ensconced in Jason's arms, clutching her handmade card in pink mittens. It was a fetching picture, her blondeness next to his dark looks. They stepped out, and Jason led the way to the proper ward.
It smelled like hospital—sickness and antiseptic and yesterday's meatloaf. All hushed voices and white scrubbed floors and stainless steel.
He checked his paper, then continued down a hallway until he stopped in front of a half-opened white door.
His eyes lost their flippancy as he suggested quietly to Molly, "Why don't you go in first and make sure it's okay?"
She nodded and took a step into the room, her heart beating quickly in her chest.
"Hey," she said softly and smiled a little at the sight of her sister lying silently in the bed.
Kim was wearing a blue hospital gown and an IV was connected to her arm. But her color was much better than Molly had expected.
"Hey, yourself." Kim attempted a smile, but the bruise on her left cheek held her back, making it more of a grimace. She touched her limp blonde hair with her free hand. "I look a mess. Where's Sara?"
Molly perched carefully on the edge of the bed. "Outside with Jason. God, sis, you look horrible." She grinned, but it didn't cover the worry she felt as she looked down at her sister. "I brought the five-minute repair kit. Are you up to it?"
"Please," Kim said, and, with a gasp, pushed herself up to a semi-sitting position. Molly rose, went to the end of the bed and pushed a button to change the angle so Kim was sitting more comfortably.
She pulled a small bag out of her purse. With quick, deft strokes, she brushed out her sister's hair and pulled it up in a perky, cute ponytail. "Why didn't you tell me Jason was the next door neighbor?"
She said it casually, but there was steel was beneath the question and she knew Kim heard it.
"Would you have come?"
Molly adjusted the elastic, frowned and pulled it out to begin again. "I don't know."
Kim held still while Molly pulled her hair up again. "I needed you to come. I knew if you knew Jason was involved, you wouldn't." They kept their voices hushed, knowing he was just outside the door.
"You haven't mentioned it in two years. That's how long he's lived there, right?" She gave a final tug on Kim's hair. "There. That's the best I can do."
"It hasn't been washed since the surgery," Kim lamented. "I'd kill for a bottle of shampoo and conditioner."
Molly took out make up and began putting foundation on a white wedge-shaped sponge.
"You don't talk about Jason. I know that. So I never mentioned him. But as you have probably guessed, he's a godsend to Sara and me."
Hmmph, Molly groused to herself. Almighty Jason the great savior. Perfect Jason, while self-centered Molly was the one to run away. If only people had heard her side of things. But she'd left town, making that her fault, she supposed. And Kim had a point. Jason was the one topic she avoided at all costs. Even if Kim had tried to mention it, Molly would have shut her down.
"We'll discuss it later. Now hold still." She made the words gentle, knowing it wasn't Kim's fault she was defensive about Jason. She finished dotting on the sheer foundation, added a hint of mascara, a touch of blush to give her sister a little healthy color and a swipe of lip gloss.
"Now you look presentable. Except for your clothes, but there's nothing I can do there. Can I get Jason and Sara now?"
Kim nodded. "Thanks, Mol. I didn't want to scare her."
Molly stepped outside the door, smiled and took Sara from Jason's arms. "Let's go. Your mama's waiting," she said lightly and carried the little girl inside with Jason on her heels.
"Mommy!"
Sara squirmed with delight at the sight of her mother, and Molly's eyes stung sharply at the unadulterated love in that one word. "Remember, you've got to be careful, Sara. Just sit on her bed easy, okay? Your mom's still pretty sore."
"How's my best girl?" Kim held out her arm to her daughter, wincing slightly but beaming as Sara snuggled in for a big hug. "Gosh, I missed you!"
"I missed you, too. Aunt Molly helped me make you this." Her tiny hands held out the card.
"Wow! You did a great job! Maybe Uncle Jason can put it on my windowsill with my other cards. Is that okay?"
Molly perched at the foot of the bed while Jason took the chair beside it.
"Have you been good for Aunt Molly and Uncle Jason?"
Molly got a strange surge of feeling hearing their names paired together like that. It made them sound like a couple, and if they'd been married years ago like Jason had wanted, it would be true. She kept her eyes from finding his. Long looks were just another thing she had to avoid.
Sara nodded enthusiastically.
"If I asked them, would they say you've been good?"
Jason chuckled. "She's an angel."
Molly touched Sara's hair. "Remember, we can't stay long. Your mama's still pretty tired."
"I remember, Aunt Molly."
Kim hugged her daughter close, careful of her tubes. Jason stood, hovering by the bed. "Have you eaten dinner?"
Kim smiled wryly. "Some chicken and cold mashed potatoes. Gotta love hospital food."
"Do you want something? Molly and I can go to the cafeteria before it closes and grab you a snack."
"I'd love a hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie, if you think you can sneak it in."
He nodded and led Molly outside. "I thought they could use some time alone."
"I agree." The fact that they happened to agree on anything seemed some sort of progress. They headed to the elevator and waited for a down arrow. Except time alone for Molly and Sara meant time alone for them, too. Molly struggled to keep things light. "Did you have dinner yet?"
"No. I didn't finish at the clinic until ten minutes before I picked you up."
"I'm sorry."
He looked sideways at her. "Don't be. It's not your fault. I'll grab something at home later."
Silence fell and Molly wished the elevator would hurry. Things were awkward now, no matter how hard she tried for it to be otherwise. Being around Jason was incredibly difficult, because simply looking at him was a reminder of all they'd shared. And of all they'd thrown away. Staying neutral around each other, with all that history pushing at Molly's memory, made it impossible to think of him as only an old friend. They'd shared too much.
"Molly?"
Jason was holding the elevator, and she blushed. "Sorry." She stepped inside and turned while the doors slid shut, keeping them in a square cocoon of intimacy.
Oh, wasn't this grand? She could smell him, the same scent he'd worn since forever. Her heart pounded foolishly. There'd been a time when they would have taken the opportunity to steal a kiss in an elevator; now they stayed on their respective sides and tried fruitlessly to pretend the other wasn't there.
After what seemed like forever, the elevator stopped and they walked to the cafeteria. Wordlessly, Jason got two hot chocolates, a bag of chocolate chip cookies and poured himself a coffee.
Molly took a large Styrofoam cup and poured her own coffee. Then at the cashier, she put her hand on Jason's arm, a silent offer to pay.
"I'll get it," he said.
He handed the woman at the register a twenty-dollar bill.
"Thank you," Molly murmured, trying not to feel beholden.
"Forget it."
His voice was low and husky and Molly felt shivers erupt on her skin. She and Jason were over. They had been for a long time. He infuriated her and she wished he'd simply disappear for the next few weeks so she could look after her sister and niece without interference. She wanted that almost as much as she wanted to know if he still tasted the same. If his arms still felt as strong and sure around her. If it still were possible to lose herself in his delicious brown eyes.
They found a table in the corner next to several boxes of Christmas decorations that had been taken down but not put back into storage. Molly blew on her coffee and braved a look up.
"Kim couldn't tell me much about what happened," she explained quietly. "How much do you know?"
Jason took a deep breath, his dark eyes clouding over with pain. He toyed with his coffee cup. "She was coming home from work, driving the old highway. It was snowing and you know how slippery it gets.... She tried to stop. A man was coming through the light and couldn't get stopped for the red. Kim had the right of way, but it was too slick. She saw him, but lost control coming into the intersection and he hit her, then spun off and took out a pole. Car's totaled." He took a breath. "They rushed her into surgery. The ER was busy, apparently. There were over forty accidents that day."
Molly's face blanched. "My God."
Jason swallowed. "Someone called nine-one-one. I was listed as her emergency contact. By the time I got here, they'd already taken her into the OR."
Molly pushed away the coffee. She should be horrified at what Kim had been through, but for some odd reason, she was stuck on the fact that her ex-boyfriend was her sister's "in case of emergency" number, and that she, as Kim's only family, wasn't listed. Sure, it was far more practical for it to be Jason, as Kim's next-door neighbor. Yet the knowledge, the exclusion, still stung.
"What happened to the other driver?"
Jason pushed back his chair, his expression clearly closed. "He died."
Molly's stomach dropped as the seriousness of the accident sunk in. Her only family could have been gone in an instant. The man who had died—surely he had a family who now missed him terribly. It easily could have been Kim. With that quick realization came the knowledge that she had done her sister a terrible disservice by distancing herself.
"Thank you for telling me," she murmured. "I didn't know how to ask Kim...didn't want to upset her. Does she know about the other driver?"
The pain she saw in his dark eyes answered her question, even as he nodded. "She knows. The look on her face when she found out is one I'll never forget."
Molly stared up at him. It was becoming increasingly clear Jason had deep, genuine feelings for her sister. Molly had no right to be jealous of the intimate nature of their relationship, but she felt it all the same. It made no sense for her to resent their closeness. She'd left Jason years ago, and he was free to be close to whomever he chose. But she did resent it. Maybe if she'd been a better sister, Kim would have needed him less.
When they returned to Kim's room, Kim was snuggled up with her daughter, who was on the verge of drifting off to sleep.
Molly put the sack of cookies on the table and smiled gently, more conscious than ever of how precarious life could be. Sara needed her mother. If Kim had been the one killed... Molly's smile wobbled. She would have lost a sister. Sara would have lost a mother, and then who would she have had?
"She misses you."
Kim smiled back, a perfect beam of maternal love. "I miss her. I'm going crazy in here."
Jason put down his cardboard tray of cups. "Any news on when we can spring you?" he inquired softly.
She shook her head. "It's still too soon. My ribs need more time, and I've had major abdominal surgery. There's no way I could look after Sara myself."
Her eyes moistened and her bottom lip quivered. "Thank you, both of you. I know it's such an imposition..."
"Don't be silly. Where else would I be?" Molly chided softly.
"In Calgary, doing your job." Kim sniffed away her tears. "I know how important it is to you."
Molly shrugged, wishing her sister hadn't felt it necessary to point out the importance of her career in front of Jason. "You're important to me."
Sara's eyes opened fully and she sat up. Jason grinned and gave her a cookie from the sack and a sip of the cooling hot chocolate. "We'd better get going," he suggested. "You've got some contraband here and then you need some sleep. We'll come back soon."
Molly chuckled. "I don't think we're going to be able to keep Sara away now."
She rose while Jason shoved Sara's arms into her jacket. "Say bye to Mom," he told her, and she did, giving Kim a huge kiss, and then snuggled into Jason's shoulder. Molly winked at Kim as they left.
It wasn't until they were crossing the parking lot that Molly felt Jason's hand at the small of her back, the gentle pressure making the skin beneath her coat tingle. She looked up at Sara; she was sleeping already, her face nestled against Jason's neck, lips dropped open in fatigue.
He'd be a wonderful father, she thought as she stared up at him. He'd always wanted to be one, and she wondered why he wasn't by now. He had so much going for him—he was breathtakingly handsome, had a successful business, wanted a family. What woman wouldn't want him?
Except her, obviously. She hadn't been ready for a family and hadn't been willing to give up her dreams for his. Now she had everything she wanted in her life in Calgary. Right.
They reached the car and she waited while he gently tucked a sleeping Sara into her seat. He came to open her door and reached around her body to put the key in the lock, his bulk pressing against her back. For a moment, just a moment, she let herself lean back against his weight, the frosty clouds of their breath mingling together in the air. She heard him swallow close to her ear, was dimly aware of the lock springing open in her door, then shuddered at the first contact of his lips on her hair.
What was he doing? His lips, warm in the cold winter air, touched the tender skin of her outer ear. All thoughts of what she wanted evaporated as she half-turned, resting her hands on his sheepskin collar and lifting her lips to touch his.
They were soft yet commanding, and she watched with fascination as his eyelids drifted closed, the long, dark lashes resting on his cheeks. His gloved hand reached up under her hair, cupping her neck, the gesture so familiar she felt like weeping as she leaned into him and her eyes slammed shut.
He tasted of coffee and a hint of toothpaste, but more than that, he tasted familiar. For years she'd forgotten that particular flavor, but now, it was like walking straight into the past. A taste that was only Jason Elliot, and it shook her to her toes.
Then he pulled back, released her hair and heaved a huge breath.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, and his long arm reached behind her to open her door.
"Me too," she answered quietly, sliding on to the seat as he shut the door behind her.
Sorry that it had ended so soon. And sorry that she'd come home. Everything just got a hundred times more complicated.
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