Fili's POV
I closed her door softly so as not to disturb her or her rabbits, barely suppressing the frustration I felt that her brilliant smile had been brought out by Ori. Why had it not been me? Why could she not smile like that for my sake?
The jealousy that boiled in my stomach startled me. Her smile was so beautiful, so blindingly perfect-- why should I be jealous that someone else caused it?
Perhaps she was my One.
I shoved that thought away as soon as it reared its head. There was no way she was my One. She was human, a mortal. Surely Mahal would not be so cruel as to make my One so short-lived, so different from myself? No, it was not possible. No matter that her smile was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. No matter that I couldn't stop watching her. No matter that my heart melted a bit every time she said my name. She couldn't be my One. There was no way.
"Mahal, Fee," Kili stopped me as I entered the kitchen, "what's got your pants in a twist?" I slugged him in the shoulder and took a plate of food.
"Don't tell me it's that lass?" Bofur said snidely. "Of course, Y/N did look mighty fine in those new clothes. Who knew she had such a figure beneath all those wizardy robes!"
"Oi!" I barked. "Hold your tongue!"
Kili laughed as I shot him a glare. "You do have eyes for her!"
"I have eyes in my head, which is another thing entirely. And we should not speak of her so," I retorted, hoping a change of topic would move the conversation away from Y/N so I could smother yet again the jealousy rising like a snake in my belly. "Have the others gone for their shift in the hall?"
Balin answered, setting his mug of ale down with an air of exhaustion. "Aye, and Thorin grows ever more restless. The Arkenstone is important, of course, but I worry about him."
I nodded. "He is altered."
"And not for the better," growled Dwalin. "I'll see if I can talk some sense into him. It'll do us no good to spend all our efforts on finding that stone."
After Dwalin left, I ate as quickly as I could, my thoughts alternating between my uncle, the stone, and Y/N. Much as I disliked admitting it, there was something that drew me to her inexplicably, and it would not be denied. For all the importance of the Arkenstone, for all the worry over Thorin's altered attitude, I could not put her brilliant smile out of my mind. What could I do to earn such an expression from her?
An idea sprung up, and I left the kitchen in search of ink and parchment to draw up a plan. I found some in an untouched office in the royal wing, and set to work. It had to be perfect.
Four discarded plans later, my brother opened the door to find me scrawling away with a very dull quill. I tossed the quill away from me in frustration, and Kee caught it before it hit the floor.
"What did this poor quill ever do to you?" He asked, but his sly smile said he already knew what bothered me.
"I can't get it right!" I growled, swatting the plan in front of me. "She'll hate it. It will be too heavy, and the shape is all wrong."
Kili looked over my shoulder and set the quill down. "It doesn't look so bad. I'm sure she'll like it, even if the shape is all wrong."
I groaned. "She deserves something better than this. All my years of training, and all I can come up with is this caragu rukhs."
"You're right." I looked up at Kili, angry he had agreed with my unkind assessment of my work. His smirk only widened as he continued, "She does deserve something better, but I think this," he tapped the parchment in front of me, "is a good start."
I studied my brother. "What do you mean, Kee?"
"You always were the dimwitted one," Kili rolled his eyes. "Let me spell it out for you. She's a beautiful young woman, with a heart of gold and a soft spot for her creatures. She tolerates me at my worst, which shows that she has an steady head, and she obviously likes you, which shows moderately good taste. She would be good for you." He crossed his arms and raised his brow, but I stayed silent. He huffed at me before continuing. "What I mean is that she deserves better because she's your One, and this plan of yours will be a good step in the courting direction."
I sputtered, unsure how to respond to my brother, so observant of a sudden. "She can't be my One! She... It's not possible!"
Kili smiled wryly. "If my One is an elf, yours could certainly be a mortal maiden raised by the craziest wizard Middle Earth has ever seen. You can't take your eyes off of her, Fee. Don't think I haven't noticed."
My lips tugged upwards reluctantly. I could not deny the truth of his statements, but it felt too soon to acknowledge her as mine. "How did you know Tauriel was your One?" I hated to be asking my younger brother of all people, but it seemed the Three had a wicked sense of humor.
"It helped that she saved my life," Kili said with a smirk that faded as he recalled the pain of that time, and of their parting. "Mostly I just feel incomplete without her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her in Mirkwood. Now, she is in all of my thoughts. I can't dream or hope without including her. She's the other half of my soul." He shrugged, almost embarrassed by this display of emotion. We were both quick to laugh, but of the two of us he had a harder time addressing the more serious things in life.
"I wish I could bring her back to you," I said softly, hating to see my brother in pain.
"You can't, Fee." Kili huffed bitterly. "You cannot fix this. Nor should you." He studied me with seriousness I had not seen in him before. "You cannot keep taking care of me. I am grown now, and I have found my One, even if she will not have me. It is time for me to stand on my own two feet, and time for you to take care of yourself and your One. You do like Y/N, don't you?"
I nodded blankly, shocked by my little brother's sudden maturity--when had he grown up?--and more than a little disturbed by what he had said. The words came pouring out of me unbidden, made free by my surprise. "Her eyes are so expressive. You can see everything she thinks in them. And the care she has for those rabbits-- she has such a tender heart. But she will brook no nonsense." I laughed, caught up now in my thoughts of her. "She is willing to call you out for wrongdoing, but she has the bearing of a queen that might make you glad to be reprimanded. When she talks, it's like the music of the mountain breeze. And she listens as if you're he only one in the world, as if every word you say is a seam of Mithril newly discovered."
"No, brother. I think that look of hers may just be for you." Kili's eyes twinkled with bittersweet joy. "You've got it bad already."
I snorted. "I suppose I have." Sighing, I leaned back in my chair and studied the ceiling. "Do you think Uncle will approve?"
"Not in his current state. He would only let you marry a gold statue now, I think," Kili said wryly.
"A sad honeymoon that would make." I tried to make a joke out of it, and Kili laughed, but we were both too worried about Thorin to laugh for long.
"I think he would not disapprove, if he were in his right mind," Kili finally answered. "And I'll certainly take the brunt of his wrath for my choice. You'll be the relief of Durin's line, taking up with a mortal maiden, while I shame it with my love for an Elf."
"Do not talk so," I said gruffly, unwilling to entertain such thoughts. "You borrow trouble before it comes. Besides, we should be worrying about finding the Arkenstone and keeping the mountain, not moaning about our love lives."
Kili nodded. "But you started it," he sang tauntingly, and I laughed as I followed him out of the office, tucking my parchment into my belt pouch. For all my speech-making, I knew I could not rest until I had done something for Y/N and started down the path of our courtship.
Hopefully, the first step would be a success.
A/N: Fili's POV! Ah, this was so much fun to write. And look how the romance blossoms! But what is he planning for his fair lady-love? Would you guys like more chapters from his perspective? Please help me out on this one-- it may change some of the chapters I'm writing right now.
As always, I would love to know your thoughts on this story, so leave a comment or two if you want, and if you enjoyed this chapter please give it a vote! Thanks for reading, and I hope you're enjoying it!
--RA
Khuzdul Translations:
caragu rukhs: "orc dung"