Yesterday Garred didn't kill me. I was safe and Maggie arrived just in time. She was with Ellie and that sort of helped. Today, I hear crying. The crying is coming from the bathroom, it's really depressing. Ellie, is the first person I think about and I knock. Ellie doesn't open and instead she tells me to go away, but I don't. She's crying even harder. I want her to stop and I want her to tell me what's wrong. I slowly open the the door to the bathroom and turn my head away at what I see... Ellie had a small sharp blade and she slowly dragged it across her arm, the thin blade made blood drip down her arm. I couldn't imagine that my 11 year old sister was cutting herself. Is that how much pain she had... Is that how much she hated her life? "Claire, I'm sorry, please don't tell mom." "Ellie, what... No... Ellie please don't do-" I can't speak and I just sit down putting my head in my hands. I hold her hand and look in the cupboard in the bathroom. I find some bandages stashed in there, I take one and put it on Ellie's small cut. "Ok, Ellie, just because you're sad, you don't have to inflict pain on yourself. You need to stay strong and have faith. Please, don't do anything like that again. Even though our family is screwed up just doesn't mean that you need to take your own life away. I promise you that when I graduate I will take you and Maggie far, far away from here. From Garred. So, do you promise me that you will stop doing this?" I can feel the tears falling from my face and falling onto her arm.
"Claire, yes. I promise." I hope she's not lying so I tell her that if I catch her again, I will have to tell mom. It's not that I want it be mean, but I want her to be safe. I don't want her hurting herself any longer. Ellie follows me and I pour her some water in the kitchen. Ellie drinks it carefully and I can see that her arm is shaking violently. "Are you ok?" I ask, worrying about her. "I'm fine, I'm just happy that you caught me and helped me stop." I smile at her and put my hand on her. I thank her for stopping but then I ask the hardest question to ask. "How long has this been going on?" I ask. "A year." She responds quietly. I sort of die right there. Why haven't I've been able to find out about this at all in the past year. Why? Ellie starts to cry but I hug her and tell her everything will go alright. I tell her a story... This time the story is about how a girl was really sad and she was about to let hatred and all the horrible sadness in the world let her down, but the guy didn't. The girl was determined to become a wonderful woman in the world. She was determined to become the best, most lively person there is... She went to school and did everything that she wanted in life and guess what: she became very intelligent in what she did and now she is one or the smartest people out there with a PhD in Mathematics, Psychology, and Computer Science. The lady was named Ellie Ruhner. I smile at her and hug her one more time. She looks at her arm and smiles at me too. Maggie walks in and sees the two of us hugging, and I can tell that she's happy to see us like that. I smile and embrace my mom too, she speaks into my ears: "Honey, thank you for everything," and then she kisses me on the cheek. Ellie walks up and hugs my mom, then leaves. I just stand there thinking about what I promised to my sister. I promised to her that once I graduate, I will take her and Maggie to someplace else. Someplace safe. Someplace away from Garred, away from the danger that is my father. I pour myself a glass of water and sit down. My sister was cutting herself, and my mom is always dead. I'm the one who needs to fix this and help my family before it becomes very dangerous. I'm going to be the leader, I'm going to be the boss. Not Garred, I am. I am the boss now and no one is taking the away from me. I will do anything to keep my loved ones safe.