Prologue
"...Heaven."
His voice sent chills down my spine. It's been what -- weeks? -- since we last talked to each other. I've been trying to avoid him ever since.
No. I was actually trying to test him. Will he notice if I didn't talk to him the way I used to? Will he notice if I don't approach him at any way? Will he notice it if I'm . . . gone?
Maybe he will. But he wouldn't care. That much I know. His lack of concern for me, even as someone who approached him first, made me feel a pinch in my heart.
Bakit gano'n? Bakit ako lang ang nasasaktan? That's just unfair. Parehas naman kaming nagmahal. But why am I the only one suffering?
Although I'm so happy that you're safe and sound, baby, I loathe that they took you away from me. In exchange for your living breath, I suffered and am suffering.
I want you to love me back so bad. But every single day, you are crushing my hope little by little. Because those things that you have done and should have done to me, you've been doing to another girl. At sa bestfriend ko pa.
I love you both so much. But it just pains me every time I see the two of you together. I can't take it. I can't take the betrayal. It feels like I might die if I don't do anything.
"Heaven." Someone called my name again, but this time, it was her.
I looked up from the book I was reading and saw the two of them together. They've never tried to approach me, much less talk to me before. So why now? I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I tried to keep my eyes to their faces, and not to their linked hands.
"We have something to tell you, Heaven," Jam said slowly. She was speaking softly, as if she knew that her news would break me.
"What?" I said, annoyed, "Kayo na? Jusko, matagal ko ng alam na may namamagitan sa inyo. Ano pa bang kailangan nating pag-usapan?" I tried my very best to stop my voice from raising or cracking. Napansin kong napapahigpit na ang pagkapit ko sa librong hawak-hawak ko.
"Heaven, please. Don't be mad," Jam said. I almost wanted to laugh when I saw tears from her eyes. Please lang, pwede ko ba siyang murahin?
"Heaven, thank you." Napatingin ako sa kanya. Kay Xandrei. I can't even look at him straight in the eye without crying. Agad rin akong nag-iwas ng tingin. "Thank you for looking out for me. But I'm really sorry if I messed everything up. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."
Napatayo na ako at hindi ko na mapigilan ang galit na nararamdaman ko. "You're sorry!? Why would you even say that? You don't remember anything, right! So what are you saying sorry for?" Huminga ako ng malalim. "Wag niyo nga akong pinagloloko. Alam ko naman na kung bakit kayo nandito eh. What? Gusto niyo ng blessing ko? Fine! Inyong-inyo na!"
Para akong batang nagdadabog habang naglakad palayo sa kanila. That's it. The pain is too overwhelming. I wanna cry but I don't want to appear weak and desperate in front of them. I'm going to leave. For good. Sa iyo na si Xandrei, Jam. Please, just please, take good care of him for me.
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A/N:
Hi guys! I'm so sorry kung ngayon ko lang naipost ang prologue. Ngayon lang naayos ang wifi namin :)