Recap:
"Once i tell you, I won't blame you if you walk right out that door and never speak to me again." His eyes seemed so sad. What could possible be that bad?
I stroked his face with my hand and gave him a peck on the lips, "That will never happen. You're stuck with me." I gave him a small chuckle and he let a little smile fall on his face.
"It all started........"
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“It all started when I was really young. My mom used to work all the time as a nurse at the hospital so my dad would be at home watching my siblings and I. My siblings, Mason and Savannah, hated my dad and I was oblivious to the reason back then, I was always super close with my dad and I wanted to be just like him. When I was 13 my dad started giving me alcohol and I drank it, I immediately became hooked. I drank all the time and just like my dad, I got really violent when I was drunk. I became a real douche bag to everyone, even my mom. I was my dad’s pride and joy and then one day he didn’t come home from the bar. He called me telling me that he left my mom for the waitress at the bar, he promised to come back for me. He moved away and I haven’t seen him since I was 16.” I stopped for a minute to calm myself down.
“I started hitting the sauce more and more to try and drink away the pain from him. I started flunking classes in school and becoming more and more violent. I’d slap my mom, punch my brother, and push my sister, whatever it took to get me what I wanted whether it’d be more money for alcohol or just alcohol. My best friend, Michael, tried to get me to stop because he knew I was throwing away my future but I ignored him. One day I got a call from Michael’s mom, Julie, and she told me to get to the hospital right away because Michael was in the ICU. I got there and he was on his death bed. I still remember the last thing he said to me.”
“Michael!” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.
“Seth, I’m gonna die and I have to tell you something.” He spoke so quietly I could barely hear him.
“You’re not going to die Mike!” I was trying to convince myself more than him.
“Bullshit. Seth listen, stop drinking. Graduate high school and go to college, be a teacher like you always wanted. You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy.” He started coughing like he was going to cough up a lung. “Live your life for you and me.”
“NO! You live your life! You’ll be fine.” My body was shaking I was crying so hard.
He shook him head no. “Take care of my mom, I love you.”
“I love you too.” Then his heart rate flat lined. I got up, wiped my tears and went to be Julie’s shoulder to cry on. She has no one but Michael.
I looked up into Rachel’s eyes and noticed they were red and puffy with tears streaming out of them. “I checked myself into rehab that day and I didn’t touch the stuff for 4 years, not until recently. I only have the urge to drink when I’m extremely worried or scared and even then I don’t give into the urge. I haven’t had a drink since the incident at the hotel. I just get like that no matter how much alcohol I have in me, which is why I gave it up.”
I stared at Rachel waiting for her to say something, anything. It seemed like hours but it was only minutes before she got up and walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind her. I felt my heart break into two and the hot tears cascading down my face as soon as the door closed. I sank down to the floor and leaned against the wall, putting my head in my hands.
I don’t blame her for leaving. Who would want to stay with a person who can’t even have a beer without going psycho? Who lies to their partner? Who can’t even hole their partner’s hand in public? I heard the door shut and I knew for sure that she was gone. She left and she’s never coming back. I just sat there for a while thinking about what to do. Should I go after her? No, she probably wouldn’t listen and I don’t blame her. Should I just let her go? No, because then she’ll think I don’t care about her. But on the other hand I should let her go because she would be better off without me.
I heard the front door open and close followed by footsteps towards my room. Who the hell is this? It can’t be her. I watched as she came in my room holding what looked to be dry cleaning, looking unfazed by what just happened. She walked over to my closet and hung them up then walked right out of the room. She quickly came back with two plates and the box of pizza. She sat down next to me, flipped on the tv and started eating pizza. I watched her with a bewildered expression on my face.
“You better hope your face doesn’t freeze like that.” She joked and stuck her tongue out at me.
“You…what….how…why?” She just shrugged and kept eating pizza while watching Family Feud.
“Oh come on! Peg leg you moron!” She looked at me like I knew what she was talking about. “Name something a Pirate wouldn’t leave their ship without.” She rolled her eyes at me and kept watching.
“Rachel…”
“I’m kinda busy sweetheart. Can you wait until a commercial?” I absentmindedly nodded but inside I was yelling NO! A couple minutes later it went to commercials and she turned to me. “Okay, I’m all ears.”
“You left…”
“No, you assumed I left. I went to pick up your dry cleaning and then I came back. I would never leave you unless you told me to and even then you’d have a hard time getting rid of me.” I couldn’t suppress the smile that was forcing its way onto my face.
“I love you baby.”
“I love you too cupcake.”
I arched my eyebrow, “Cupcake?”
“Eh, I was just trying it out. I’m not sure yet.” She smirked at me and I had an overwhelming urge to kiss her but I can’t until I know she forgives me.
“So I need to ask you something.”
“Shoot.” She said while gnawing off another piece of pizza.
“Do you forgive me?”
“Yes.” She immediately answered. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Fair enough.” I leaned in a started kissing her and she kissed back right away. I licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance but she denied it and pushed me off her.
“Family Feud’s back on.” She said with a smirk. I could tell she was just trying to be a tease.
“Oh no you don’t.” I playfully tackled her started tickling her.
“Aaahhh!! Nooooo!!! Stop Seth!” She begged while laughing so loud I thought my ear drums would pop.
I grabbed her wrists and looked her in the eyes. “Not until you say that I’m the awesomest, handsomest, coolest, boyfriend ever.”
She stopped smiling and turned her head so she wasn’t looking at me. “Please get off me Seth.” She whispered.
I quickly got off her and started walking away. Shit Seth! Why’d you have to keep touching her, you knew she had to still be a little uncomfortable!
“Attack!” I heard her shout from behind me and before I knew it she pounced on my back, making me fall forward. “You shoulda seen your face! You thought I was serious.” She started laughing so hard I that she couldn’t catch her breath. “I….win!!”
“Really babe? I think I’m gonna die from you crushing me.”
“ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!” She shrieked. She got up and looked at herself in the mirror.
I sat up and started laughing, “You….you should of…seen your face!!” I said in between breaths.
“Do you seriously think I’m fat though? I think I could lose a little but am I really fat?” She seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating. She pulled up her shirt so she could see her stomach. “Oh. My. God! I am fat! Look at this?!”
“Look at what? Your ribs?!” I stood up and walked in front of the mirror.
“Move Seth, I need to look!”
“No! I’ll be your mirror. You wanna know what I see? I see a beautiful woman with a hot body and an amazing personality to go with it.” She looked down almost ashamed that she even thought badly about her body.
“You really think so?”
I put my finger under her chin and lifted her head to meet my gaze. “I know so.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her. She nestled her head into my chest and in that moment, I knew that this was the girl I wanted to be able to hold this way forever. “My mom came back. That’s why I left for a little. She wants to be back in my life like nothing ever happened. I just don’t think I can do that. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to do that.” I rubbed my hands up her back trying to soothe her. I can’t believe her mom would just come back after all these and pretend like nothing happened.
“Why’d she even leave in the first place?”
“She said she couldn’t stand be a young mother and wife. She wanted to live her life and not be tied down by her responsibilities.” I heard her sniffle but I knew she wasn’t crying. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing by not talking to her?” She looked up at me with those beautiful green eyes.
“I can’t tell you that I wouldn’t talk to her if I were in your shoes. But then again, I wouldn’t have forgiven me or talked to me ever again if I were my family. After everything I put my family through, they forgave me and acted like nothing ever happened.”
“I just need time to think about it.” I nodded and picked her up bridal style. I pulled back the covers on the bed and set her down. I grabbed a t-shirt that’s baggy on me, so it’d be a dress on her, and handed it to her. “Thanks.” She stripped her shirt off and I quickly look away. I heard the zipper on her pants and then I heard her shimmy them off. “Seth.”
“Huh?” I said without turning around.
“You can look you know.” She giggled.
“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
She sighed, “What makes me uncomfortable is thinking that my boyfriend would rather look at a wall than see me without clothes on.”
“That’s not it at all! I just don’t want you to think I’m using you. I realize that must be what you think after what happened!” I really want to turn around but I know I shouldn’t.
I felt her wrap her arms around my waist. “Please look.” My…. ‘friend’ started to harden from her pleading. I felt embarrassed but I mean come on! What man’s member isn’t going to when a beautiful woman is begging for you to look at her when she’s practically naked?
Against my better judgment I turned around and connected with her eyes right away. I knew from me turning around she’s be able to feel my erection on her stomach. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”
She started to chuckle. “I know Seth. Just look, I’m yours and I want you to know that. I want you to know that I love you, I’m not afraid of you, and I forgive you.”
I gulped and nodded. She let go of my waist and backed up so I could see her. My god she’s beautiful! She looks like a Greek goddess! Her breasts are perfect, her stomach it tight, her ass is beautifully round and toned. I realized I was staring so I looked down at the ground. Much to my dismay, my ‘friend’ was in my way of being able to see the ground.
“I could take care of that if you want me to.” YES! Dear God yes!
I cleared my throat, “No, I don’t want to get too physical yet.” She nodded, looking relieved at my answer. I walked towards her and looked her in the eye. “Don’t ever think you have to do anything sexual to please me Rachel. I love you and I’ll wait however long you want to wait.”
“Okay, I understand.”
I kissed her nose, “Good. Go to bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I started to walk away but she caught my arm. “Don’t be silly, we’re both adults. We can sleep in the same bed.”
“Ok but let me get a shower first.” She fought back a laugh and I stuck my tongue out at her. I grabbed a clean pair of boxers and pajama bottoms then headed to the shower. I took a quick cold showers and “fixed” myself then I got changed and headed back to the room to see Rachel still wide awake. I chuckled but turned off the lights and climbed into the bed. I draped my arms over her and pulled her close to me. I waited for a minute to see if she moved but she just snuggled into my chest and closed her eyes.
“Nigh Seth, love you.”
“I love you too Rachel.”
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