BEFORE YOU PROCEED, KNOW THAT THIS SECTION IS THE FATHER OF ALL SPOILERS.
The picture on the top/side: #OldAncientExtinctCoverOfODaD
I've gathered all the questions and here are the answers - in no particular order! Since I don't normally do Q&As or tagged questions, I made sure these answers were thorough! If you find that your questions have not been answered, this is what happened:
a) You did not ask a question
b) You did not ask an ODaD-related question
c) I merged the question with another one since I did have multiple questions that had asked the same thing OR I had changed the wording a bit because I'm an undercover grammar freak
d) It might have gotten buried somewhere o_O
e) I actually don't have an answer..
...If your question isn't listed here, it's up to you to figure out under which letter it belongs...
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1. How do you get inspiration to write a story? When you get an idea in your head, how does it develop?
Okay, its story time! Like a lot of writers, I'm an avid reader, although lately my reading has been cut short tremendously in the past few years due to the types of books out there now. Don't get me wrong, you are all free to read whatever you'd like, but personally, there aren't a whole lot of published books out there that pique my interest. Perhaps it's because my taste in genres have matured and changed, or maybe it's because I'm too stubborn. All throughout middle school, I was raving over Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl, The Inheritance Cycle, The Inkheart Trilogy, and so much more! That had to have been the peak of my reading years and I miss it a lot! As the years passed, I began to read less and less and it felt like a part of me just broke off and flew away. I stopped reading as much as I had used to because there simply weren't a whole lot of books that garnered my interest.
We tend to underestimate "the power of the pen" (or keyboard?). If you take a quick look back at the past 10-15 years in books, you can see a whole variety of genre trends. There was the whole Harry Potter phase (though, we all know for HP lovers, it is never just a phase), and the whole fantasy era where we had books like Eragon and Inkheart. A mere few years later, despite the fact that vampire/werewolf stories had existed for a long time (*cough* Dracula!), there was a huge influx of vampy/wolfy stories after Twilight. Then we had the array of dystopian novels, such as The Hunger Games and Divergent. And as of late, we find an increasing number of books based on erotica.
Well, in case you've been hibernating for awhile, that's the past decade of books in a nutshell for you!
My interest began declining after the vampy/wolfy phase. I did in fact read Twilight, and while I did think it was well written, I wasn't so fond of the huge vampy/wolfy fad that had followed with nearly every other book around that time. To me, it felt kinda overdone and I wanted something fresh. I mean no disrespect to readers/writers of that genre - this is all just my opinion. And it all went downhill from there for me. If you look around, you will definitely have a vampy/wolfy or erotic book thrown at you at some point, whether its online or on a bookshelf. Again, you're all free to read whatever you'd like, but personally those genres did not appeal so much to me. They don't make me sad or give me a heavy heart (perhaps it's a bit concerning that I actually want to be sad....)
They may be interesting for a while and may serve as leisure reads, but I really wanted a book that tugs my heartstrings. I can get quite indifferent and emotionless at times, so I was on the hunt for something raw. Honestly, only one book has ever really made me feel emotional and hopeless was A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (you have to, have to, have to, have to read that one!) where a main character lived a life of misery and despair from childhood and beyond, and never got a happy ending, and I was absolutely traumatized for the weeks that had followed. I've read a whole lot of fluff in my wee little lifetime, but (I think this may be the case for many of you), stories with sad endings stick with you longer than stories with happy endings.
Once I turned its pages, I was awestruck. The story was so raw, so real, and so tangible. It is so simple, yet wrapped with complexity. It was so nicely written and wasn't ridiculously difficult to follow. This was the sort of book I was looking for! It was reality entwined with fiction, in other words, realistic fiction. It is listed as historical fiction, but it still passes as a realistic fiction book as well.
I searched for more books of the same genre, and while there weren't that many, there was still quite a bit (The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi and Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay are also great!). These are the types books I've been diving into for a few years now. I really enjoy the fact that I can be thoroughly entranced by a fictional piece, yet also be able to learn something about unfamiliar cultures, religions, customs, and places. Such books are tragically heartwarming, and simply beautiful. Therein lies my inspiration as well as taking into consideration that writers in general have the power to start up new "trends" when it comes to genres. Instead of aimlessly searching for a book that could suit my tastes, I figured I would write one myself!
2. Was the scene where Hayat was publicly flogged a true scene?
If by "true scene", you're asking if I am narrating the actual flogging of a girl in the same/a similar situation to that of Hayat, then no. However, if you're asking whether or not people do still get flogged in reality, then yes. Sadly, flogging as a punishment is still implemented in certain places. On a side note, the flogging chapter was pretty difficult for me to write, mainly because I've never been flogged before, nor has anyone I know - this makes the whole research process rather difficult. Instead of writing things like, "ouch!" "ow!" "ah!" to describe Hayat's pain during the scenario (don't those words sound childish?), I really had to put myself in her position. How would I react? I was still stuck, so I resorted to the Internet. I read articles and interviews of people who were given a certain number of lashes and still survived. The trauma they had experienced haunts them to this day. But, reading all that could only do so much. I made myself watch videos/movies that documented people's flogging (and stoning too - look up The Stoning of Soraya M. - a true story). I know all this sounds barbaric, but only then did I feel I could at least somewhat describe the pain and the humiliation Hayat had experienced.
3. Was Murtaza going to have a lover?
Nah, I never imagined him to be with someone. He had too much going on in his head and in his life to have room for a lover (Well, Ahsan did too, but I let that one slide...). Furthermore, there were people who "shipped" Murtaza and...Tala. Guys, the two of them have never even spoken to each other! I think certain people just wanted to tie in romance to any situation :P
4. Had it been in the first place you planned (well, this might sound harsh) to 'kill' Ahsan?
Even though I had a basic outline of what I wanted to happen in each chapter, any possible changes were still under my discretion. Initially, I wanted him to die (okay, that sounded more cruel than I intended for it to be...), then some people brought up the possibility of Hayat & Ahsan having children, living together, etc. Then I thought that would be a good turnabout of events for some odd reason (*cough* not so much, apparently). Later though, I thought about what I wanted to have happen, and went with my original plan of, well, killing Ahsan.
5. Why did you remove the cast?
I honestly did not envision any of the cast members as the characters, except for the one who I put as Faizan (Danish Taimoor came the closest - has anyone seen how cruel he was in the drama, Aik Pal?!). Everyone else was just there for the sake of it, and I chose not to make a trailer for the book (which is when a cast would be kinda necessary), so I just removed everyone altogether.
6. What or who inspired you to make a character like Ahsan (characteristic wise)?
Two things in particular. One, I've read interviews/articles of men (for the sake of their safety, their identities were kept anonymous) who were once affiliated with extremist groups, but then fled. Among various reasons, a lot of them said they needed to provide for their families and/or they wanted to "make a difference". Unfortunately, in the eyes of some people, joining a terrorist organization does indeed fulfill those needs/desires. So, I kept that in the back of my mind. Two, well, this is not as serious at all, but I had an acquaintance once who was just as bad as a (stereotypical) strongly PMSing girl when it came to mood swings (this is a male, mind you). I kinda just combined #1 and #2 to form Ahsan's personality :x
7. What the meaning of Ahsan's name, Ahsan Khayri Abdul-Tawwab Razak?
The names/meanings are interchangeable in Arabic and Urdu. When you break it down, it is: Ahsan: The best of all, Khayri (his dad's name): Generous, Abdul-Tawwab (his mother's father's name): Servant of The Forgiver, Razak: Protector. Fitting name, eh? :)
8. What is Hayat's full name?
Hayat Janaan Ishfaq. Hayat means life, Janaan (her father's mother's name) means heart or soul, and Ishfaq means compassion :) When anybody asks for her full name, she normally just sticks to the first and last names though. Her middle name is used for official things, like on her passport! Again, another fitting name if I do say so myself ^_^
9. Do you miss Ahsan?
Part of me doesn't, oddly enough. I mean, at the time I was writing details of his death, I was sad...but I get over things pretty quickly :s I guess this is because I knew he was going to die the moment I wrote the preview for ODaD, so that prepared me. But, I miss writing about him and writing his occasional sarcastic dialogues. I went through previous chapters and kept picturing the whole "She's pregnant!" scene in my head and cracked up. I also find it hilarious every time he's "pinching the bridge of his nose, silently praying for God to grant him all the patience in the world" whenever he's arguing with Hayat. I miss writing all their banter, but he needed to die. Gah, I'm gonna miss this whole story in general :|
10. Generally speaking, is Faizan based off a specific terrorist leader from reality?
Not necessarily, in my eyes. I didn't specifically look up a terrorist leader for this because they're all pretty much just as evil as can be, so I didn't need to dwell further upon that.
11. Do you think you, yourself, would love ODaD if you were just a reader?
Ooh hmm, I think so. I like to write about the things I like to read. For the past few years, I've really taken a liking towards contemporary/realistic fiction (I love A Thousand Splendid Suns!), and I think ODaD fits into that category quite well :)
12. Any character you got attached to in ODaD? (because I am telling you, I am still not yet over Ahsan yet, and Hayat too and Saad. *sob* *sob*)
Baby Saad! I hated killing off every child and I really wished Aqsa didn't have to go through what she did. I wish Ahsan had fixed himself up earlier and I really sympathize with Hayat.
13. The friendship dynamic between Hayat, Nat and Marc seems so unreal! Was it difficult to create such a bond?
Not difficult at all. Actually, their friendship dynamic is based off of me and two of my close friends (a male and female, and their names also begin with 'N' and 'M')! The three of us were friends since we were seven years old and we all went to the same school, so we were practically inseparable for many years (in my eyes, they seemed more attached to each other than I was to them! ;D). Out of the three of us, I played the role of "Hayat", as in, the "matchmaker". Did that work out? No -_-
14. How much alike are you to Hayat?
Uhhh not so much as people think. The biggest similarity would probably be the sarcasm. However, that girl practically threw up/spat on Faizan's face multiple times and kicked him. If I were in front of Faizan, the most I'd do is defend myself with words - that is, if I remembered how to even speak. I would probably rather pee on the spot than to even think of physically attacking him in any way o_O #SometimesImAScaredyCat
15. Are you going to show us how you pictured Ahsan to look?
I did have someone in mind for him, but then I thought you would all prefer your own imagination of him, so I will just keep that bit to myself (not in a rude way) :) Though, the image on chapter 32 is the closest you can get to him :P
16. Wait, so I know Ahsan participated in murdering people and other atrocities, but did he participate in gang-raping minority women with other militants? o_O
Nope! Neither he, nor Murtaza, had anything to do with all that. I'd never, ever romanticize him if he was like that. Throughout his teen years, he was very much affected by his sister's rape, and even in Hydar's version of events, you can see that it had continued to affect him during adulthood even when he was far away from Syria. Though, during his time with Al-Tho'baan, he had a skewed impression of women for a while (thanks to Faizan & Co.), but when Hayat came along, he dismissed such thoughts completely over time.
17. With respect to Ahsan, does silence and arrogance mean the same thing?
No, I wouldn't think so. He's nowhere near arrogant, I'd say. Arrogant is more like giving off a "HAHA I'M BETTER THAN YOU" vibe. He's just very reserved and doesn't really talk until he feels the need to, or actually wants to.
18. Why didn't Hayat get married and have kids? / Will Hayat ever marry again and live happily?
Regarding marriage in Hayat's future, I actually don't quite see her getting married at all. Regarding happiness, well, we do all have our own definition of happiness :) For some, it includes marriage and children, for others, it may consist of other things in life. I know that may be difficult to imagine and to understand because many cultures are adamant that someone's life is not complete without a husband/wife and children along the line. Hayat's positive energy had stemmed from helping others, and that's what makes her happy :) So let's be happy because she's finally learning how to be happy :)
19. If you could change one thing about your characters, what would it be?
Hmm well, I'd make the emotional people more emotional, and the cold-hearted people more cold-hearted...if that made any sense o_O Like, I want them to be really raw and real. I don't think I've done total justice to their characteristics.
20. Why did Ahsan die?
I didn't want to kill Ahsan, but I had to. If by any chance Ahsan survived, Hayat would still have to go back to America and Ahsan, who is already brainwashed to think and behave like an extremist, would not be able to adjust to a normal lifestyle. Psychologically, he just can't, and if he ever does, it will take a whole lot more than time to get him back to the way he was. If he goes back to his mother, she would have a hard time in accepting him, and she may even kick him out again. If that happens, it would be difficult to get him back on track when people will be wary of his existence and when he has no sense of direction. He may even go back to his extremist ways since that's all he knows. Without Hayat, Ahsan would be completely lost without proper guidance and direction, and no, Hayat cannot just drop everything for him in this condition to just sneak away to a neighboring country to live with him. In her situation, how many of you would honestly drop the opportunity to go back home to people who you love and who love you? How many of you would honestly risk living with "Ahsan" when you have no idea where you'll be going or how your life will be? If you answered yes to both questions, you most probably are romanticizing the situation too much than what had been expressed. Even if you argue with your parents at every hour, there is just something consoling about having security and a roof over your head. There would have been no guarantee about that if Ahsan and Hayat had run off together. If this was a true story, I have a strong feeling that this would be the same fate for anyone in Ahsan's position. I tried to keep up with realism throughout the entire story and honestly, Ahsan needed to die.
21. Why did you make Zaakhir the bad guy?
I wanted to show that people with religious (as well as political, social, etc.) authority can heavily abuse their power. Since they will most likely have a prominent following, this abuse of power can extend to the point where they brainwash people into believing every single biased and prejudiced thought that they have.
22. What happened to Ahsan's mom?
Well, I wanted the main focus of the epilogue to be Hayat's transformation, though, I understand why many people had asked about her. Though she wasn't mentioned in the epilogue at all, in my head, Ahsan's mother had died. It made sense: she was already physically and emotionally frail and was very much alone. It's not like her neighbors (if any) were very cooperative towards her because 1) they all believe that her husband had run off with another woman many years before, and 2) her sons didn't have the best reputation in her later years. Despite all this, she never turned to suicide, but died a natural death alone in her home at the age of seventy. She died two years before Hayat & her students went on their service trip to a refugee camp in Turkey. Gosh, that's sad :|
23. Did you change the name of the terrorist group?
Errrr...yes and no? Basically, the group's name translates to "The Snake", and while there are slight Arabic pronunciation variations, the more common/most preferred pronunciation is "Al-Tho'baan" and not "Al-Thabaan"....which I had found out forty-five chapters too late...
24. Was the African teenage girl story that Hayat told Lucas real?
Sort of. That was an example she came up with on the spot (so the exact country and turn of events are not fully accurate), however, I have read about similar events where men have raped girls and boys to "undo their sexuality" - not just in an African country, but in many other countries as well. This is unrelated, but as if that wasn't bizarre enough, there's also reports about people disfiguring albino individuals because of some witchcraft belief - you'd probably have to look these up for more information. The world is a crazy place.
25. Did Hayat write about Murtaza and the Ahsan in her book?
Well, I guess it might've been difficult to have figured this out (unless you really paid attention to the wording in the Epilogue), but in the section about Waheed, it was written that Hayat felt that she needed to confide in him with some things - this is where she tells Waheed about Ahsan directly. She had changed everyone's names in the book, except for Zaakhir, Faizan, and Shudun. In her book though (this one wasn't super obvious), she never wrote that she had feelings for "Ahsan", but rather that she had solely befriended a militant instead. Towards the end, only Tala, Marc, Nat, and Waheed were right next to her when the little boy said his name, so they were the only ones who were watching her intently since they all knew the truth.
26. Why didn't you make Hayat an Islamic scholar in the epilogue?
While I don't think there's anything wrong with being a scholar, I don't think it fits quite well with the plot. I feel like being an Islamic scholar is the go-to solution if everything screws up in someone's past, and I'm not quite sure if thats because it actually goes with the storyline, or because its incorporated just for the heck of it. In my totally biased opinion, an academic educator is something she had always wanted to be, and I went along with that.
27. Does Hayat adopt little Ahsan?
Realistically, adoption is a long, complicated, and painstaking process - especially for refugee children who don't have proper documentation or if their parents/guardians are still alive somewhere. I know one woman who waited a couple of years and spent tens of thousands of dollars for an adoption - only to find out that the child's biological father changed his mind at the last moment (I never asked, but I'm assuming she got a refund). Either way, I can only imagine the emotional strain she had gone through when she heard about that - and that's when the child had all the proper documentation. So again, realistically, it is incredibly difficult to legally adopt a refugee child in the United States (not sure about the protocol in other countries). However, ideally, let's hold on to that strand of hope and believe that she did eventually, and successfully, adopt little Ahsan :)
28. Why did Faizan forcefully marry Hayat with Ahsan? I mean, why was it necessary? They would have raped her anyway, and Faizan and Zaakhir did come close enough in doing so. It's not like only after marrying her to Ahsan would be he able to "rape" her.
Good question. I don't even get the point of it myself. I think it's stupid and pointless, but it actually does happen. Some terrorists perform "marriages" with their captives. In one perspective, I guess it's to exhibit their power over the victim and instill fear in the person. I just used the reality of that and incorporated it in the story.
29. Is Religion of Terrorism a real course? If so, I really would like to take it, especially if Hayat is the professor! :D
Haha aww I'm sure she'd love to have you in her class, but she will not hesitate to embarrass you if she catches you on your phone! ;D Anyhoo, there are actual courses called "Terrorism Studies" and the like, but not with the exact name of Hayat's class. I doubt Hayat might be your professor though :x
30. How do you choose character names?
I'm very particular about character names, especially if they're prominent characters. For example, I did a ton of searching when I had to name Hayat, Saad, Ahsan, Faizan, Tala, Murtaza, and Zaakhir. But for Lucas/Victoria/etc, I just chose whatever name I liked for them. I will literally spend daysss researching names that aptly suit characters' personalities (Translation: I actually search for names that mean a particular word and hunt through those hits), AND I prefer the names to be not-so-common and memorable as well. Like, "Harry" is a common first name, and even kinda bland. But in terms of characters, who do most of us instantly think of? Harry Potter. There are just certain attachments, or feelings, associated with a particular character and I think repetitive names take away from that. BY THE WAY, in case you haven't noticed, Hayat's brother's name is now Hydar (not Hasan), and Yusuf has now been changed to Yassar.
31. Can you write an extra chapter about Hayat & little Ahsan's life together?
And the people are gonna ask me to write a chapter when little Ahsan rides a bike for the first time, and then when little Ahsan is dropped off at school by Hayat, and then another chapter when little Ahsan gets bullied for being who he is, and then another chapter when a grown-up Ahsan has a crush and tells Hayat about her, and then when grown-up Ahsan is rejected by the girl's parents because he is considered to be a "nobody", and then when grown-up Ahsan gets into an argument with Hayat for 'lying' to him about his origin, and then when Hayat relapses into another round of PTSD and feels guilty for not being the best mother to grown-up Ahsan, and then, and then, and then.....It just keeps going, eh? I think it's a good time to let Hayat and little Ahsan live their lives without sprinkleofhayat documenting their every move :)
32. How is Hayat a hafiza if she doesn't typically wear the hijab?
I'm not gonna get into specifics here nor will I throw around judgments, but I have a friend who doesn't normally wear the hijab (except in a religious setting, during prayers, etc) and she's a hafiza. So, anything is certainly possible! :)
33. Why did Marc marry Nat if he had feelings for Hayat for many years?
He also waited many years after his coffee shop meeting with Hayat even though deep down, he knew her decision would not change. Hayat knows how being lonesome can make someone miserable, so only after her persistence and insistence, did he actually contemplate moving on. In the epilogue, the Marc is already 38, and Nat & Hayat would be turning 38 later that year. It was mentioned how he had proposed to Nat "eight years before", so the trio were all thirty years old at the time of the proposal. During Marc and Hayat's coffee shop meeting, they were both 22 - so there was an 8 year gap from the time Hayat had told Marc of her decision to the time he had proposed to Nat. He had nearly spent a decade alone, relationship-wise, and he came to terms with reality. He spent that time learning to love Hayat as a friend while also learning to love Nat as a lover. Plus, it's hard not to love her....unless if she busts your car ;3
34. Was Al-Tho'baan still active after Ahsan and Murtaza's execution?
They were pretty active up until Zaakhir had died. At that point, they had aimlessly roamed around like headless chickens after their ringleader/mastermind had been killed. Their attacks died down gradually after that. Although, that's not to say that terrorism had been eradicated.
35. When Hayat was trying to kill herself, once with the unloaded gun and then with the pills, didn't she think she'd go right to hell?
This really upsets me and I'm not sure who, or what, to blame for this. If someone has seriously contemplated and/or attempted suicide, they are not at a point where they can think, "Ooh, I'll be going to hell for this, better put down this knife and these pills!" Mere sadness is not even the cause for suicidal thoughts and attempts - it surpasses that to mental instability. If there is someone with an autoimmune disease (a disease where the body basically attacks/kills itself, slowly or quickly - depending on the condition. This includes Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Type 1 Diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, autoimmune Hepatitis - just to name a few), would you go up to that person and say, "Your body is killing itself! You're committing suicide! You're going straight to hell!" Scratch that, would anybody with a functioning brain and heart say that at all?! NO. (But if you do, you seriously need help. Seriously.) People with autoimmune diseases, or any other terminal illness have little control over what happens with their bodies - even with treatments and medications. They can't help it! Same thing with people with mental instabilities - they cannot help their thoughts or even their actions at times! The fact that people continue to look at mental illness one-sidedly is not helping the situation. People have chemical imbalances that clearly disrupt "normal" brain activity. Take a look at EEGs and PET scan films online - the comparison between a "normal" brain and a brain with depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, etc are significantly different!
After all that she had seen and gone through, there is a very, very tiny chance that Hayat would be just as "normal" as she had been before setting foot on her initial flight. It's nearly impossible. I doubt any one of us would be 100% fine after going through everything that she had gone through. It's so easy to condemn a fictional character to hell when all of us were just reading about her journey - there are unnamed people out there who actually experience such things. So no, at those moments, she was not thinking about religion, or her friends and family, or her future, or about anything else. In her eyes and in her situation at those times, suicide [attempts] was her solution.
Mental instability is not just a phase. Mental instability is not all about sadness. Mental instability is not something you can just get over. Mental instability is not an attention-seeking method. If you think it's absurd to blame someone for getting cancer, it's just as absurd to blame someone for mental instability.
36. Did you plan this story out or decided to go with the flow?
Initially, I went with the flow for the first 10 chapters. Then, I began outlining a bit for the remainder of the story. I planned out every death, every crucial event, and every main scene. Over time, I found that I write more consistently and with better flow if I briefly write out a sentence or two about what I want to happen in each chapter beforehand. If not, the plot gets flushed down the toilet..
37. What made you title the story, Operation: Dard and Devotion?
Haha oh gosh, the most straightforward question that I hardly remember the answer to! You should've asked me this last year! xD I had a bunch of one-word potential titles, but none of them seemed to work well with the content I was planning to write about. The most recent and infamous military mission that came to my head was Operation: Iraqi Freedom where the "goal" (for lack of a better word) was to end Saddam Hussein's regime and grant freedom to the Iraqi people. Now, whether or not that mission had worked subjectively depends on who you ask. I only used that mission title as a bit of inspiration for my story title. Then, I thought of two main motifs, or themes, that I would have throughout the story. There was a whole lot of pain (Dard) and bits of Devotion scattered throughout, whether that is Hayat's devotion to children and her career, Murtaza's devotion to providing for his family, Ahsan's subtle devotion to Hayat and Saad, Faizan's devotion to Zaakhir's movement, the militants' devotion to Al-Tho'baan, or even Hayat's devotion to Ahsan after he had died (you could also say that's why she remained unmarried. I'm not saying you shouldn't go out to find love after a tragedy, but in Hayat's case, that is what she had preferred). This was a weird title-creating-process, but that's how I came up with the title! :)
38. Will there be a spinoff, prequel, or sequel to ODaD?
Alas, no :) This is a standalone story and it is time to give it a well-deserved rest :)
39. I tried to think of a question to ask about ODaD, but seriously I can't come up with any and I hate it :P So why don't you take some compliments from me. I read your previous works and it feels like two different people wrote them. That's how much your writing has improved. So well done! :)
You know what, I'm going to keep you and build you a castle and feed you cookies and sweets all day long ^_^ Haha but seriously, thank you so much!! It means a lot that you've stuck by even during my crappy writing days. Thank you so much!! :)))) x
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The other question I had received very often is......
How do I know so much about the actions/motives of terrorist groups?
....which has already been answered in the Final Author's Note! :)