When we pulled into my driveway my heart was beating so fast I could hear it. "You want me to go in with you?" Ashley asks as she put the car in park. I look over and give her a small smile.
"No, I think this is something I need to do on my own." I tell her and she grabs my hand and squeezes it.
"I understand. I'm not gonna go far so just call me if you need me okay?" She tells me, squeezing my hand once more.
"Okay."
"I love you, Spencer. Okay? Nothing and no one is gonna change that. I'll be here if you need me, I'm not going anywhere."
"I love you, too." I tell her then exit the car. She backs out of the driveway as I make my way up to the door, willing myself to go in. I finally turn the door knob and go in.
"Spencer!" My moms voice immediately calls me from the living room. I walk into the living room to find my whole family and a priest. "Spencer..." My mom starts, walking up to me. "I'm gonna ask you this one time, and one time only. Are you and that girl together?"
I look past my mom to see my dad and brother looking down, probably here involuntarily, and the priest staring at me with questioning eyes as he holds his bible close to his chest. Really mom? A Priest?
I don't wanna lie to her, I'm not gonna deny Ashley. I love her and my mom can't stop me. Or some Priest for that matter.
"Yes." I say simply. Not like I need to go into details about it. Her breath hitches and she covers her mouth with her hand, averting her gaze away from me. "Mom, I love her." I admit quietly, glancing over at my brother and father whose eye's are still glued to the ground. The Priest looks like he wants to say something, but I guess he's waiting his turn.
My mom goes to say something but I guess it gets caught in her throat. "Mrs. Carlin, may I?" The Priest asks stepping forward, placing a hand on my moms shoulder. She nods and he steps closer to me, with a small smile on his face. "Spencer, dear. I'm Father O'Harra." He extends out his hand for me to shake and I take it. No need to be rude to him, it's not his fault my mom dragged him into this. "Would you like to sit?" He questions and I shake my head.
"Look, Father. I don't wanna be rude, cause I know that you were called here by my mother. But I love Ashley and nothing and no one is gonna change my mind." I tell him and he nods his head.
"I know things sometimes can become a bit confusing when you're a teenager. Feelings and emotions start developing, and everything becomes one big blur. If we look at the big picture, the picture God has created for us, then we'll see that these events merely are there to test your faith, nothing else." He tells me calmly.
"Father, I..." I start.
"You're gonna go to hell, Spencer. Do you understand that?" My mom cuts me off. And I can see the tears now forming in her eyes. I don't get why this hurts her so much, this is my life, let me live it. My dad is now on his feet at my moms side consoling her. Why is he consoling her for? I'm the one under attack here. Thanks dad!
"Mom, I know that right now all this seems bad, and I'm sorry if I embarrass you but this is who I am. Ashley is who I wanna be with." I say stepping closer to her, but she moves back like I'm diseased.
"That girl has changed you. You're not my daughter, I don't know who you are." She spits out.
"I'm the same Spencer, mom." I don't know why I feel the need to defend myself. She's never gonna understand.
"No, you're not." She says, detaching herself from my fathers grasp. "And you're gonna live under my roof you're not allowed to see that girl anymore!" She yells, causing my brother's head to shoot up, and my dad to try and calm her.
"Paula." He says softly, but she's not paying him any attention. She's looking directly at me, eyes filled with venom.
"I'm 18 mom, you can't tell me what to do anymore and that girl has a name!" I retort and she scoffs.
"If you wanna live under my roof you'll understand that you are forbidden from seeing Ashley." So much hate spewing from her words.
"Then I guess I'm leaving." I blurt out before I can even stop the words from falling from my lips. Everyone in the room eyes shoot to me. "I'm not gonna live in a house where the person I love and amazing, wonderful love I have for them, is not accepted." I tell them, making sure to look everyone in the eyes.
"Then leave!" My mom shouts and lunges towards me. "Get out, get out, get out!" She keeps yelling, as both my brother and dad have to hold her back. Father O'Harra just stands there like a dear caught in headlights. I guess he wasn't expecting it to go quite this way.
"Mom, please. She's your daughter" Glen tries to interject.
"Shut up, Glen!" My mom snaps at him.
"Dad?" I sorta question him. He works with teens all day. Teens that aren't even his children, I'm sure plenty have come to him and told him about stuff like this. He fights for them, he gets them in homes, and away from abusive parents, but he can't even protect his own daughter.
"Paula please, can we discuss this?" He begs her and she shakes her head viciously.
"I want her out of my house and I want her out now, Arthur." She yells and I don't even wait around for his reply as I jet off upstairs in my room to pack some things. This is really happening, everything—and all because of Carmen. I grab a duffel bag from my closet and just start opening draws and grabbing what I can. I grab the bank off my dresser which has about four hundred dollars I've saved in it. I look around my room for any other essentials that I may need, then make my way into the bathroom to grab my toothbrush. I grab my charger out of the wall and look under my bed for a couple pairs of shoes. When I emerge from under my bed Glen is standing in my door way.
"Mom says, two minutes." He tells me looking down at the ground.
"Tell her don't worry I'm done." I say as I grab my car key off the dresser. Glen and I both make our way back down the steps, my dad is in the living room talking to the Priest and my mom is standing in front of the door.
"Give me the keys to my car." She says sternly. Holding her hand out in expectancy.
"How am I supposed to get to school?" I ask, as I feel a fresh wave of tears building in my eyes.
"I could care less." She snaps back and snatches the keys out of my hand and walks away. I hold back the tears, not wanting her to see how much she was actually hurting me and hurriedly make my way out the front door. I whip out my phone to text Ashley when Glen appears behind me.
"Where you going little sis? I'll take you." He says trying to force himself to smile.
"I need to get some school books out of my car. Could you go and gets the keys from Paula real quick?" I ask him and he just shakes his head and runs back in the house. He returns a couple seconds later with the keys and I quickly open the car to retrieve my belongings from it. He runs back in the house to return the keys.
"So where to?" He asks me as we walk down the driveway to his car.
To the only place I have to go...
"To Ashley's house." I say simply. I give him an address to put in his GPS and we pull off. I turn around and take one last look at the place I once called home, at the people I once called mom and dad. I could see a silhouette behind the curtain in the living room watching us as we pulled away. I said a mental goodbye as the house...my family, disappeared in the side mirror.
Glen and I sat quietly for most of the drive, me looking out at the trees and such as we passed them.
"For the record, I like Ashley." Glen says, finally breaking the silence. I look over at him and he's looking at me smiling.
"Thanks, Glen." I smile back. It's nice to know that I still have one person in this family on my side. Love is love, why does it have to matter if it's found between two women or two men?
"You know how to chose them lil sis. Ashley's hot." He jokes and I punch him in the arm playfully. "Owww. Whaaat? I'm just saying." He shrieks out and I laugh at him.
"Just keep your eyes to yourself. She's my love." I tell him and he gives me a indiscernible look.
"What?" I ask and he just smiles.
"You really love her don't you?" He asks, looking back between me and the road.
I feel a fresh batch of tears brewing in my eyes as I answer, "Yes, I really do."
"I can tell. Do she love you the same?" He asks, this time keeping his eyes on the road.
I wipe away the tears and let a small smile form on my lips thinking about how much I know Ashley loves me. "She does." I say simply. He nods and smiles.
"She better, or she'd be getting a visit from me to have a little talk." He said all big brotherly and I can't help but smile at him.
"Thanks, Glen." I say as we put into Ashley's driveway.
"Holy shit!" He says looking at the house. "Thanks for what?" He asks, looking back at me.
"For being a really good big brother." I tell him then pull him into a hug.
"That's what I'm here for." He says as we both pull back from the hug. "Can I live with you and Ashley?" He asks seriously looking back at the house. I giggle at him before I tell him goodbye and exit his car, grabbing my bags from the backseat and lugging it all to Ashley's front door. I take a deep breath before knocking.
A flustered Ashley opens it. She engulfs me in a hug before saying, "I've been going crazy waiting for your call. I came home because you didn't and I thought everything was okay. I'm sorry, Spence. Are you okay? What happened? Was she mad? Did she kick you out?" She asks before her eyes drift down to the bags sitting beside me. "Oh Spencer." She says pulling me into another hug. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that our love is causing you all this pain." I can't help the fresh tears that have started to fall. By the end of today I'm gonna be all out of tears. She quickly pulls me inside and up to her room, telling her maid to grab my bags and bring them in as we ascended the stairs.
Ashley held me in her arms while I sobbed on her chest. We're laying on the bed, my heads on her chest and she has both arms around me, rubbing circles into my back trying to soothe me. I think I cried for at least thirty minutes before the crying stopped and became sniffing and whimpering.
"Did you wanna talk about it, Spence?" She asks, still rubbing circles in my back. I don't say anything. "Did you talk to Madison?" She asks suddenly.
I jump up. "Oh shit, Mads. Baby, I told her I would come over and bring her soup."
"It's okay, Spence. I'll call her and tell her that you can't today. She'll understand." She says as I lay my head back down on her chest. "I love you." She whispers then kisses the back of my head. I immediately found myself drifting off to sleep. The comfort of having her arms tightly around me, I felt safe—at home.