episode one, scene two: love kills slowly
They arrived at the temple soon after. A feeling of peace radiated off the building and washed over Belén, putting her at ease after she had escaped certain death just moments earlier. The door of the speeder opened up slowly and Anakin stepped out of it quickly. In a flash, he went around to her side and offered his hand to help her get out so that she wouldn't stumble and fall.
"Thank you." She smiled at him politely, holding onto his hand tightly as she stepped off the speeder. She had never been in one before and it had been a completely new experience for her. Belén shook away her thoughts when she realized she had been staring too long at the young padawan learner. There was just something about him that made her smile, and smile like an idiot. She felt what she had never felt before and it was a new feeling of fondness that she couldn't shake away, but she couldn't say she wanted the feeling to dissipate. It was a good feeling.
Anakin led her up a long set of stairs that led tot he entrance and down one of the hallways expertly, once they were inside. The two walked in silence until they got to the door he was searching for.
Belén crossed her arms over her chest, trying to stop the shivers that still wracked her small frame. Her eyes looked down at the ground to find that the rain soaked Jedi robe was definitely dragging on the ground and it would be in serious need of a washing. She thought that perhaps she would later wash it for him as a thank you gift.
He knocked on the door gently, just loud enough for the person in the room to hear it, his knuckles going into contact with the big wooden door that separated them from whoever was inside. When there was no answer, he knocked one more time, that time a bit harder. Still nothing. Anakin sighed in frustration and opened the door without waiting for an answer, pulling Belén into the room with him. In the simple living quarters was a bed and not much else, but on the bed laid the sleeping form of a man. He was a Jedi, and she assumed that he had to be a friend of Anakin's if he was waking them at odd hours of the night to ask for help.
"Obi-Wan." Anakin called out.
Belén watched anxiously to see who the man was, and why Anakin had taken her to him.
"Who is he?" The green eyed girl asked curiously. She got on her tiptoes and leaned in curiously to study the new person she was soon about to meet. His dark blonde hair fell over his forehead in a mess and she observed his facial features. He was a good looking man, and didn't appear to be too much older than Anakin. He was sleeping in his Jedi clothes, with his boots still on his feet. Belén figured that he must have had a long day.
He replied to her question about a minute later. "He's my master. He has taught me everything I know, and I want him to meet you. He'll know what to do." He nodded towards the still sleeping figure on the bed as he spoke.
The man groaned and opened his eyes, but it hadn't been until Anakin switched on the lights in the room. "What is it, Anakin?" He asked the young man slowly, automatically assuming that it was him disturbing his sleep. He sounded extremely tired and Belén quickly sensed that he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. Obi-Wan shook himself fully awake when he sensed another presence in the room. "What is this young woman doing here?" He took one look at her, and added, appalled, "And why is she wearing your robe?"
Anakin raised his hands up in defense, immediately explaining so that his friend's suspicions would be calmed. "I told you earlier today that I felt someone that was strong with the force, someone who was in danger and needed help. So I snuck out of the temple and I was led to her." He paused for a moment to observe Obi-Wan's reaction. The older Jedi eyed them suspiciously, as though he didn't fully believe what his padawan was saying. Belén stood by in silence. She didn't want to say anything that could get the two of them in trouble, even though they had done nothing wrong. Anakin soon continued, "The force is strong with her, I can feel it." He gestured to the blonde standing next to him, clad in a dark brown and rain soaked Jedi robe. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He would do everything in hos power to help her, even if he was just a padawan. He knew just how rough life could be for some people, since he had been a slave in his home planet of Tatooine.
Since both teenagers were sopping wet, droplets of water were falling onto the floor, forming a puddle at their feet and wetting the clean white marble floor around them. Belén pulled her hair out of her face subconsciously, if only to have something to do and keep distracted. She also thought that if Obi-Wan could get a good look at her, how afraid she was after the whole incident, and that she meant no harm, he would know that Anakin wasn't lying. Or perhaphs he would feel sorry for her and would let her stay. She had nowhere else to go and the temple was the only place she could be safe from the Sith.
Obi-Wan sat up in his bed, propping himself up on his arms as he began to scold his padawan. "You are not supposed to leave the temple at any time, under any circumstances. Especially without permission." He said.
Anakin sighed. "I know. But I didn't go out to do something bad, and its a good thing I found her in time. The Sith want her." He furrowed his eyebrows in anger at the mention of the Sith and the way they had tried to kidnap her when he arrived to her rescue.
That seemed to catch Obi-Wan's attention. He quickly pushed himself off his bed and asked, "The Sith?" He looked from Belén, to Anakin, and then back to Belén. Now he was watching her carefully, his eyes trained on her, studying her as though she were a foreign specimen that he'd never seen before. Belén blushed as she began to feel subconscious at the fact that he was staring at her for so long and her green eyes looked away, focusing on the window that looked out into the Coruscant night sky. Snapping her out of her thoughts, Obi-Wan urged them, "We should get her to the council at once. If the Sith are so desperate to find her, then she must be the final piece to the prophecy. This confirms what we were all fearing." He said the last sentence under his breath, somewhat lost in his own thoughts. When he said we, he had been talking about himself, and the rest of the Jedi council. He continued murmuring thoughts to himself as he walked from one end of the room to another, adjusting his robe, and then grabbing his light saber off the bedside table. It was always within his reach, even when he was sleeping.
"The prophecy?" Belén wondered, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
Anakin whispered an explanation to her, "There's an old Jedi prophecy which states that the chosen one will bring balance to the force." With a proud smile on his face, he added, "They say that its me."
"We don't know that for sure yet." Obi-Wan countered.
The proud smile on his face was wiped clean off by his mater's words and replaced by a scowl which he tried hard to hide.
Belén was lost through the entire conversation that was taking place.
Sensing her confusion, as well as seeing it on her face, Obi-Wan offered, "I'll explain everything at the council meeting." As he left the room in a hurry, he instructed Anakin to meet them in the council meeting room once they had changed into some dry clothes. "I need to gather all the members together." He finished.
*
Anakin and Belén were left alone in the darkness of Obi-Wan's room.
The girl with long golden blonde hair heaved a sigh. "I really hope the council approved of me staying here. I have nowhere else to go and wouldn't know where to hide from the Sith."
The young Jedi placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. He was standing so close that she could feel the heat radiating off him despite the cold wetness of his clothes. It made her realize how cold she really was. "Have faith. I'm sure the council will see that you need to stay here with us." He told her, his words trying to soothe her worries.
As her mind started to wander, lost in her own thoughts of being alone again on the streets, she subconsciously started humming a song. It was an old tune she had heard somewhere, a tune she remembered in dreams in which she had a family who loved her and a mother who hummed a simple lullaby to make her fall asleep. Anakin listened to the tune for a moment before asking her, "You like music, don't you?" It was merely a question to get the conversation going again, since he wanted to know more about her.
Belén nodded her head. "I do. I especially remember this song from my childhood. I can't explain it, but it reminds me of home. But I'm sure the Jedi don't concern themselves much with music, do they?"
Anakin gave a shake of his head. "Not really, and music has never been my thing anyway. But I could listen to you hum that tune for hourse." He told her with a smile before realizing it was a thought he should have kept to himself. Belén's own lips curled up into a smile automatically. He had managed to generate two smiles from her in a matter of mere hours when smiling and happiness were a foreign concept to her.
"What do you do?" She asked him, curious, clarifying, "What are you best at?"
He chuckled at her awkwardness and replied to her question in a smooth tone, "I like to build things, and fix things. You know, things one can do with their hands." He lifted both hands up in front of her face and showed her their front and back view. She marveled at his hands as if they were works of art, sculpted by the finest artist.
As they continued to stand in the room chatting away, and Belén still looking at Anakin's hands, when Obi-Wan returned and eyed them with a look full of suspicion on his face. The older Jedi cleared his throat to get their attention and Anakin put his hands down to his sides in a flash. Obi-Wan said to them, "The council will be ready to discuss her situation in thirty minutes. We just need everyone to gather in the council room." He looked at them up and down to see them still in their wet clothes, adding the reminder again, "Feel free to take a warm bath and change into dry clothes. You'll catch a cold in those wet ones."
He walked out of the room once again, leaving the two teenagers alone. That time, Anakin grabbed a hold of her hand and pulled her out of the room. Anakin walked, with Belén in tow, to a different room that was a ways down the hall from where Obi-Wan had been sleeping. He opened the door and announced to her, "This is my room. Since you don't have any other clothes to wear, you can borrow some of mine until yours dry off or until the council assigns you some Jedi appropriate ones." The green eyed girl looked down at herself. Under the Jedi robe that Anakin had used to shield her from the heavy rain was a plain white cotton dress that didn't even look white anymore because it was so old and worn. On her feet were torn shoes she had stolen from a shop two years prior.
Anakin went further into the room, where there was a dresser and he pulled out a long sleeved dark brown shirt, as well as the pair of pants that went with it. Last he grabbed a belt and handed the garments to her and said, "You'll really need the belt since I'm much heavier and taller than you." Grabbing another set of clothes, this time for himself, he informed her, "You can use my bathroom and I'll shower and change in the training room showers on the top floor."
But the seventeen year old gave a shake of her head, refusing, "I don't want to kick you out of your own bathroom. You've done enough for me today. Just lead me to the ones in the training room."
He parted his lips to argue with her, but she would have none of it. Each argument he had for her was countered by an argument of her own. She was stubborn and didn't want him to give up anything more just to help her. She couldn't allow him to do her any more favors. She left the room and he followed, quickly walking ahead of the seventeen year old to lead her in the direction of the training rooms which were on the top floor of the Jedi temple. As they climbed the endless flights of stairs to the top floor, Anakin thought that she could have just as easily bathed in Obi-Wan's room.
Then again, it was probably locked after they left, and Anakin wasn't so sure how Obi-Wan would feel about a girl bathing in his room. He concluded in the end that the best idea was to take her to the training room showers.
Belén stepped inside and looked up at the ceiling. The entire thing was glass and she could see the night sky. The seventeen year old thought it wasn't the best suited place to have a glass ceiling. Sensing her hesitance, Anakin informed her, "Don't worry. Its a special kind of glass. We can look out, but no one can look in."
She heaved a sigh of relief.
Anakin left her to wash up and she quickly removed her clothes which were now very cold against her skin only after she placed the dry clothes on a nearby sink to keep them from getting wet. She went to one of the showers which were separated by marble stalls without doors, and turned on the water. She was filled with joy when she felt the warm water against her skin. She was taking a real shower and not just washing off her body with anything she could find. There was a soap dispenser on the wall which she used to rinse her body.
She took her time letting the water run over her body, and it was several minutes before she finished.
As she shut off the water, she bit down on her lip when she realized something. "Anakin didn't give me a towel." She told herself with a sigh. Now she would need to wear the dry clothes just as she was and would get them all wet. She took one step out of the shower stall carefully and then another, her feet carrying her towards the waiting clothes on the sink.
She reached for the clothes, her arms outstretched in front of her when the door to the shower room swung open, revealing a freshly showered Jedi learner, fully dressed in dry clothes, and with a towel in his hand that was seemingly for her. "Belén, I forgot to get you a towel-" His voice was cut off by the shock of what he saw. There was a teenage girl standing--undressed--in front of him, and all he could do was stand there frozen.
Belén grabbed the pile of clothes and used it to shield herself from his blue eyes. Her other hand reached for the towel he was offering her, took it out of his hand and used it to shove him out the door. "Anakin, get out!" She yelled, her face hot with a blush that was overtaking her.
She wouldn't and she couldn't look him in the eye as he quickly left the room, uttering a stream of apologies that she didn't want to listen to at the moment.
Belén sucked in a deep breath as the door shut behind him.
*
After drying herself and putting some clothes on, which was very big on her, she left the shower room. Luckily she didn't have to face him, he was long gone, but she knew that their awkward encounter wouldn't be forgotten so easily. She made her way down the various sets of stairs and attempted to look for his room in the temple. But having no sense of direction, she found herself getting lost in the wide hallways that all seemed to melt into the very same things. She felt like she was going in circles. It didn't help that every single wall and every single door looked exactly the same.
It wasn't until about fifteen minutes later that she found a set of double doors and she saw a light peeking out from underneath, indicating that there were people inside. On the doors were two gold plates with the words Jedi Council written across it proudly.
No one else was allowed in that room but members of the council.
Belén didn't know whether to knock or barge in like it was her house. As she pondered, she felt little drops falling off her long blonde hair, soaking through her--well, Anakin's--clothes.
She had decided she would just walk into the room when she heard someone begin to speak and she stopped herself. "Where's the girl?" The voice from inside the room asked. They sounded upset, maybe even mad. It was then that she decided she would go unnoticed for the time being. There were things that she needed answers to, and she thought that she wouldn't get them by just asking someone.
It was Anakin who responded to the Jedi master's question. "She was taking a shower, master. And when I went to look for her, she was gone. She doesn't know where this room is. She must be lost, wandering the halls of the temple on her own." And he had been absolutely right to assume that. The council were probably angry at her tardiness when it had been out of her control. She had gotten lost after taking a shower.
Belén heard Obi-Wan's voice next. "I don't want to cause any alarm, especially if it turns out to be unnecessary, but I think she's the missing piece of the prophecy. The one we needed to be cautious of." He added, as though the seventeen year old girl were someone dangerous to them, and not just a girl who had been living on the streets. They're the ones who have light sabers and years of Jedi training, she thought to herself, countering what she had heard Obi-Wan saying.
"What do you mean by that?" Anakin asked. He raised his voice slightly in her defense, "She's just a girl I found on the streets who needed our help. She's not dangerous, to any of us."
She smiled to herself.
Anakin, who had just met her that day, was defending her from the Jedi council, including his own master. He could have just as easily agreed with them, since he didn't know that she was even there, behind the door that was slowly ajar.
Obi-Wan continued, trying to get his point across. "We've all heard the legend about how the chosen one will bring balance to the force. But there was also a warning that came with it. The chosen one would have to endure many obstacles and still remain true to his destiny." He looked at every Jedi master in the room to take in their expressions before continuing, "If Anakin really is the chosen one, isn't it suspicious that the force would lead her to this girl, a girl that is wanted by the Sith? I sense this was an act of the dark side." With his eyes meeting Anakin's, he finished, "Look Anakin, members of the council, I'm not saying she is bad. I'm only saying we should be weary of her."
"For all we know she's the chosen one and not me." Anakin argued.
Another person in the room added his opinion. "Of senator Amidala, I suspect. Not of this new young woman. A close friendship with her, young Skywalker has."
The rest of the people on the room were yet to speak. They only listened to what was being said.
"It could be nothing." Obi-Wan said with a sigh. "The prophecy is centuries old, and we're not even really sure that Anakin really is the chosen one. As my padawan has said, it could be her for all we know." At the sound of his words, Belén could sense the anger radiating off one of the people in the room, which she assumed was Anakin. Many of the things that Obi-Wan said about him served to make him upset.
Belén finally decided to knock on the door to the council room and the doors slowly opened to reveal her standing there before them. She smiled awkwardly at them and said in a small voice that was full of hesitance, as well as respect. "I'm very sorry, I just got lost." She turned her head in the direction where Anakin was standing and when their eyes met, she looked away, blushing furiously. She was still clearly embarrassed after what had happened earlier, and she was sure he was as well.
"Its quite alright, child." Obi-Wan assured her. "We were just having a chat about something not too important. But now that you're here we can begin discussing if the best thing would be for you to stay at the Jedi temple with us or not." He smiled at her politely. Though she had heard everything they said, she wouldn't speak a word of it. But she still wondered why they wouldn't tell her what was really going on. Instead, they were giving her the runaround and pretending everything was okay when it really wasn't.
"Remember your parents, do you?" Someone asker her and she turned towards the sound of their voice. He was a small green creature who talked in the strangest way.
Belén gave a shake of her head. "They abandoned me on the street a long time ago. I don't remember them at all. The only thing I know about my past is that my name is Belén." And the tune my mother used to hum me to sleep with. She shrugged her shoulders in a very nonchalant manner as thought it weren't something very important.
"Since when are you aware that the force is with you?" Another member of the council asked. His skin was dark as mahogany and he wore a stern look on his face. He watched her intently, awaiting a reply.
She thought for a second. "I think I've been aware my whole life." She replied truthfully.
They all nodded in approval and she let out a smile. Their reactions for the moment were reassuring to her and served to ease her nerves. Finally, the small and green Jedi master gave their conclusion, which no one seemed to oppose. "Under strict observation, we shall keep her for a few days. Only then our decision we shall make."
Another Jedi master, one who hadn't spoken yet, finished the meeting with, "You may go now, young one. There is an empty room directly across from young Skywalker. He'll take you there himself and make sure she's comfortable." He looked to Anakin as he uttered the last sentence.
Both Anakin and Belén nodded and they were dismissed. She bowed out of respect to them, but she tried to listen to the last of their conversation as they left the room.
"Why would we give her the room right across from Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked, confused. "I think we should keep them separated. The further apart they are from each other, the better."
The Jedi master replied, "I think it would be better to watch them interact first, and then we will determine if she's the missing piece of the prophecy."
*
After leading her to her new room, Anakin left her to go talk to Obi-Wan. Belén had no doubt that the conversation would be about her. Once Anakin left, she instead went to his room and sat on his bed waiting for him to return. She had her own room now--an actual home--but it didn't feel like home just yet, and it was because she knew that the Jedi were reluctant about her. It was dark in the room and she didn't turn on any lights because she didn't want anyone to know that someone was in Anakin's room at that time of night. She glanced over to see a clock on the nightstand.
It was nearly four in the morning. Belén felt bad about having kept him up all night, and she still had so many questions to ask him before he could go to sleep.
Moments later, the door to the room opened slowly, revealing Anakin's shadow. It was all she could see, considering the lack of light. With a sigh, he took off his cloask and placed it neatly on a chair nearby. He then sat on it to remove his black Jedi boots next. He didn't know she was there yet and she didn't want to disrupt him, so she didn't make a sound.
Belén waited as he stripped down to a pair of brown pants that he was going to sleep in. She froze when he started taking a few steps towards his bed.
It wasn't until then that he sensed a foreign presence in the room. He looked around in the darkness as if he thought someone was watching him, his gaze landed on the bed. He couldn't see her against the dim moonlight coming through the window, but she could see him perfectly. "Who's there?" He growled and she immediately felt a strong grip around her neck, her windpipe nearly reaching its breaking point within seconds. She was being force chokes.
Through coughs and wheezes, she managed to get out with her limited air supply, "Its me. Belén."
The second he heard her name, he let go of her and she fell onto his bed with a thud. His expression changed completely form guarded to confused. Her hands went to her neck and she knew she would be seeing bruises in the morning. He was at her side immediately and pulled her into his arms apologetically. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought you were an enemy. Why were you sitting here with the lights out?" He asked her in a serious and scolding tone, mostly because he had been very close to killing her.
"I didn't want anyone else to know I was here. I know they don't want us to be friends." She coughed, her lungs burning from a lack of oxygen just moments ago.
Anakin sighed. "That's normal. The Jedi aren't allowed to form attachment to other people or things. We can't let ourselves be influenced by our feelings. Master Yoda says that to care too much for someone causes attachment and attachment is forbidden because it leads to fear."
"That's nonsense." Belén scoffed. "We will always be influenced by our feelings, even if we try not to. We're only human. I think what they really want to prevent is love." She pulled away from Anakin's arms when she realized he had been holding her far too long. "When people fall in love, that's when they get too attached. They don't want to let their loved ones go. When someone becomes overly attached, their hearts may be blackened by darkness if they lose the person they are so attached to. Maybe it's the sense that they feel abandoned by the person they love once they lose them." She saw the side of the Jedi, even if she didn't fully agree.
He replied in a low voice, "I agree with you."
They remained quiet for a few seconds until a thought came to her. looking up into his blue eyes, she said, "I'll be a great Jedi. I'd never let my feelings get in the way of anything. I don't love anyone and I don't think anyone will ever love me. Love makes you weak; love kills you slowly. That's why I will never allow myself to fall in love."
And she meant every word of it.
Love was like poison.
-
finally another update. when i first wrote this story, i didn't realize my chapters were so long. that's why its taking me loads of time to edit them and make the changes that i think are fit for this story.
i hope you guys are liking it, and thank you so much for reading!
at the top i included a gif of laura hayden, who is playing the part of belen (pronounced kind of like helen, but with a b). its really hard to find pictures and videos of her even though she's a singer and model. but she isn't super well known which is why i picked her. i like to pick different people, not like the mainstream artists.
but anyway, give this a nice vote if you liked it! ^.^
-clary xx