You ready?
Tissues ready?
Okay, here it is.
________
Months past.
Hell, New Years past. And Lauren finally asked Camila to be her girlfriend. No one interrupted, not even Y/N. She saw them kiss when the clock struck midnight, and yes, her heart shattered when everyone cheered. But when she saw Lauren smile, it somehow glued her heart back together long enough to fake a smile the rest of the night.
But that was only temporarily.
Valentine's Day past. She helped Lauren set up a date for Camila. Y/N was giving out ideas that she would have done for the green eyed girl if they were dating. She would pinch herself whenever she found herself thinking about that.
Camila's birthday past. And since they were friends, Y/N took the brown eyed Latina out to distract her while Lauren and the girls organized her surprise party. And at the end of the party, with Camila's friends and entire family there, Camila and Lauren slow danced when a upbeat song played. Cliche type of moment.
"Hey." She turned her head, and found no other than Ariana Grande standing there with a cup in her hand. When Lauren said she was inviting all of Camila's friends for her 20th, she was kidding. Taylor Swift was over in the corner with Selena, probably still butt hurt about what Kim did. (Yeah, I went there). She sent Ariana a nod, not wanting to respond."You seem just as happy as I am to be here." Ariana giggled after she saw Y/N give her a tight smile.
"You don't talk much?" Ariana asked her, getting a shake of the head by Y/N."Who broke your heart?"
Y/N looked at her questionably, her eyebrows furrowed as she wondered why the girl asked her that. She spit the ice she had in her mouth into her cup and said,"Why did you ask that? That's so random."
"But you aren't denying someone broke your heart." Ariana sent the girl a wink, then nodded to herself proudly. Y/N rolled her eyes, then felt the girl bump her shoulder."Are you going to tell me?"
"No one broke my heart." She heard Ariana scoff, then added."I fell in love with someone but it was too late."
"You didn't have the balls?"
Y/N quirked her eyebrow,"What? No." Ariana giggled again, sipping on her drink as she listened to the girl next to her."She was in love with someone else. Is, she is in love with someone else and is..." Y/N saw the couple laughing, dancing together happily. She sighed as she finished,"they're together now."
"Mind explaining?" Ariana asked, taking another sip of her drink.
Y/N sighed, looking away from the couple to look at the girl that was questioning her. She wasn't sure how to explain her relationship with Lauren. But she did know lyrics to connect what they had."We are who we are when no one's watching. And right from the start," she paused, looking down at the ground with glassy eyes then lifting her gaze up to look at Lauren as she continued,"you know I got you. I won't mind. Even though I know you'll never be mine." And she saw Lauren laugh, making her wipe her eyes quickly before anyone saw her. Ariana did see though, but she decided against mentioning it and tried to bring the mood up.
"Sounds like a really bad fanfiction." Ariana shrugged, earning a confused glance from Y/N. Ariana laughed shortly, looking at the girl beside her and let out a quiet sigh."If you were given one minute, and in that minute nothing will be remembered, what would you tell her?" She challenged, her eyebrow quirked at the younger girl.
Y/N sighed, chewing on the ice she now had back in her mouth. She gazed at the couple, looked at Lauren mostly, as she thought of what she would say to her in that minute. Then suddenly, the first words that came out of her mouth was,"That I'm leaving."
She remembers Ariana trying to convince her not to leave Lauren. Of course, the talented singer didn't know it was Lauren she was in love with, but she still tried to convince her to stay. But even after Ariana's somewhat awesome speech, she still decided on leaving.
It was May when the girls started talking about tour. And Lauren had invited Y/N to join her on the meeting they were going to have based on the 7/27 Tour. But Y/N decided against it, saying that she had to do some paperwork for college. Lauren came back from that meeting, explaining to Y/N about what happened during that meeting. Apparently they sent out a tweet saying that they would make up for canceling tour. The problem was, they didn't know what they were going to do to make up for the cancelation.
Y/N had grown accustomed to Camila being over, so when she saw Camila walk in right after Lauren explained to her what happened, she shrugged. Then she started listening to both girls talk about things they could possibly do. Most of the suggestions were to release songs they've performed live but Y/N knew that wouldn't entirely make up for it.
Then it suddenly occurred to Y/N,"Why don't you guys just tell the truth?" The couple looked at her confusedly, and Y/N shrugged with a nod."Tell the harmonizers that Camren is finally real."
The couple rolled their eyes, but then looked at Y/N like it could be a possible thing to do. But then they started talking about how management wouldn't agree with it. So Y/N said,"Screw management. This is about you guys. You shouldn't let someone, or someones, stop you from being together. You guys love each other, don't you?" They nodded with their lips pursed, listening to what the girl was saying."Okay then, wouldn't it be better to show everyone that you guys love each other?"
"But um, mostly everyone knows." Camila commented.
"Just because your squad knows, doesn't necessarily mean everyone knows." Camila glared at Y/N when she said that, making the girl raise her hands up in defense after."Sorry, but it's true." Lauren chuckled quietly, then got a glare from her girlfriend which made her smile drop. Y/N smiled at Lauren, then shook her head and said,"It won't hurt to try, right?"
So they tried, and management said yes. Which is where the girls are now. Well, where they were. They went to New York last week to start the coming out of Camren. Camren interacted a lot this whole week, which made the fandom talk. Even those who weren't Camren shippers were talking about them.
And when they had an interview and told everyone about their relationship, about Camren being real; the whole fandom went nuts.
Now, Y/N waits until Lauren gets back to do what she has been wanting to do
*
W
a
n
t
e
d
*
It all comes down to this, doesn't it? It was inevitable anyway, and everyone knew. Everyone...but Y/N. She didn't feel herself falling, if anything she just felt herself get more and more and more happier every time she spent with Lauren. A year with Lauren, the best year of her entire life. She wouldn't want to have spend that year any other way.
Because in that year, it only took six months for her to fall in love with Lauren.
Sure her heart is slowly breaking as she sees the hands on the clock slowly move. And sure her heart is shattering with each tweet that has the hashtag Camren is finally out. And yeah, of course she's a little angry at herself for telling Lauren and Camila to finally grow some balls and stand up to their management. She didn't actually think they would. In all honesty, she was giving that little pep talk to herself, even though she was telling it Lauren and Camila.
"You shouldn't let someone, or someones, stop you from being together." She hears her words echoing in her mind right now, why didn't she listen to herself. Maybe it was because she knew Lauren wouldn't feel the same way. Or maybe it was because there was that stupid voice in the back of her mind telling her that it was stupid and her feelings will never ever be reciprocated. She hated that voice, like right now it's telling her things that she hates about herself. Which is why she's on her medication again, anti-depressants are back.
If Lauren were to find out, she would worry so that's why Y/N didn't tell her. She would worry, like stated earlier, and have more stress on the tour. The last thing Y/N wants is for Lauren to stress. Lauren did always tell Y/N that writing is the best way to relieve some sort of stress. "Always write if I'm not here to talk to you, write and I'll read it...if you want me to." She heard Lauren's calm voice, as the wind blows as they stood on the rooftop.
"Yeah, you can read them...I don't trust anyone but you, Lauren."
The giggle echoed in her mind, bringing a smile to her lips and she pictured the smile on Lauren's face. Is that creepy? Picturing the woman you love's smile?
"You know I'd fall apart without you...."
Y/N shakes her head, stopping the memory from surfacing. She reached for a pencil in the top drawer of Lauren's desk. She searched for some paper, ripping some out of a notebook she wasn't sure of whose. Then she glanced at the sleeping dog on the bed, she whistled and he perked his head up."2.0, off the bed, Lauren's gonna be pissed." He growled before huffing and jumping off the bed, Y/N shook her head and turned to look at the blank paper.
Dear Lauren,
You told me to write, so I'm writing.
She already had things in mind, she knew what she had to say. It was her way of saying goodbye, hopefully not forever.
From the start, I didn't know. You're confused, but I'll get to it. I just wanna start off with saying; I really meant it when I said I wanted to make you feel wanted. That was redundant, sorry. But I did, I meant it. All along it was my way of telling you, that I will love you until Camila realized she loves she. Who knew I would actually love you, truly and seriously love you. Sorry if this is crapping, I told you I'm not good at using words to describe how I feel. Which is why I use lyrics.
Don't look around cause love is blind
And darling right now I can't see you
I'm feeling proud so without a doubt
I can feel you -i chose those lyrics because I felt like it explained how I was when I was with you.
Anyway, I have only love two people in my life, those two who will not be named because they are like, sorta dead to me. Because the amount of love I thought I had for them, will never compare to the love I have for you. Yes, Lauren Jauregui, I love you. No one else but you, and I know I shouldn't but i do.
Incoming; a lyric. But I hate to think about you with somebody else. The 1975 was always your favorite.
Back to the point, well that was part of my point. My point of this letter, is to tell you that I love you and I love you and Camila together. I am so proud that you finally stood up to management. It's time for you to finally be happy. So that means I'm leaving, my job of making you feel wanted is over. Although, my job of loving you...it's not a job, but I don't think I'll ever stop loving you.
It's Camila's turn to love you now, though I'm sure she's always loved you. She was just too scared.
You're probably wondering why I have to leave. Well, like I said, my job of making you feel wanted is over. And The 1975 lyric is also another reason. And if you're reading this and you're thinking; I do love you. Don't, because you don't love me, you love Camila. Camren is real. You know how long I've been wanting to write that out and it finally being true? Anyway, I'm not gonna get in the way of you two of being together.
She stopped writing, she noticed in the corner of her eye that Dash perked up. There is no way the girls finally made it back to LA. Y/N told Lauren earlier that she wasn't feeling so good to pick them up at the airport, so they must have taken a cab or something. Y/N turned in her seat, pointed a stern finger at Dash,"You let me know, 2.0." He dropped his head, laying down on his bed with a small whine.
"Who am I to stop the moon and the sun from finally being together?" She scribbled down on the paper, wiping away the forming tears in her eyes. A quote coming to mind, she started scribbling it down quickly as she glanced at the time on her phone. The green eyed girl should be back in an hour, she still has time. So she added the quote, not word by word since she wasn't all too sure of it,"And I guess it's true when they say 'Camren is a beautiful love story'."
She heard footsteps, making her drop her pencil and glance at the door. She sighed in relief before continuing to write.
Don't worry about me. Please don't. Worry about yourself and your relationship with Camila. I know you two will last a lifetime. And if you don't, you gotta know you're wanted. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you, your love is something I'll never forget. Even if it was a different way than I wanted it.
Lauren, everything will be find if things don't work out the way you want it to. Love will find you, remember that. Don't go out to look for it, because if you do...I'm sure you heard me say it too many times to forget.
Never forget Lauren, you'll always be wanted.
She stood up quickly, scanning everywhere for an envelope.
---
"I still don't understand why we had to stop to grab pizza, Camz." Lauren shook her head, the younger girl smiled widely, innocently at her girlfriend. Lauren couldn't help but smile, playfully rolling her eyes and nudging her as they made their way down the hall to their apartment.
"You coming to mine?" Camila asked, pulling her keys out and setting her suitcase beside her door.
"Later. I wanna spend time with Y/N a little." Lauren smiled, taking her own keys out. She glanced at her door then back at Camila."I'll come by later, promise. An hour tops."
"Okay," Camila nodded, already expecting that answer from Lauren. She walked over to kiss Lauren on the cheek before making her way inside her apartment. Lauren closely watched Camila shut her door then turned around, taking a deep breath and unlocking her apartment door.
"Y/N-" Lauren kneeled down, furrowing her eyebrows at the unleashed dog. The green eyed girl knew Y/N wouldn't leave Dash out, she was the one who said to make sure to keep him the bathroom before they go out anywhere. She grew even more confused when she saw something hanging out of his vest. She petted Dash for a minute, then took out the piece of paper. She unfolded it, seeing Y/N's handwriting, she smiled a little until she started reading.
"Oh, no." Without another thought, Lauren rushed out of her apartment leaving the door ajar as she rushed across the hall. She repeatedly knocked on Camila's door, loudly too, which is why Camila and the girls rushed out of their apartments.
"Girl, we are trying to get some sleep-"
"Y/N. She's gone. She left." Lauren didn't notice the tear that escape her eye, until Camila wiped it away. She sniffles turning her head to look at the brown eyed girl,"Guys, we have go get her-"
"What exactly do you know?" Ally asked carefully, taking small steps towards Lauren.
Her trembling hand held the paper, she sniffles reading it more then stopped when she saw the part about her job of loving her. Lauren bit her lip, shaking her head frantically,"I d-don't know-"
Camila snatched the paper out of her hand, her eyes skimming through the letter. She glanced at Lauren when she came to that part, then kept reading. She dropped the paper down from her face then looked at the girls."Let's go. We're going to the train station." She said, grabbing Lauren's hand and starting to drag her to the elevator.
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This was hard to write, I'm exactly like y/n in this story; I find it hard to express my feelings into words.
Now, if you think this chapter was hard to write, you should see the next chapter.
That's all I'm saying, until the next chapter, munchkins!❤️
(If you see this, comment for a double update)