CH.25
"Charlie, I'm going out!" I call into the silent house. Today, I know, is his day off. But he still hasn't come out of his room. He hasn't spoken to me at all since Christmas, actually.
I wasted time with writing my letter to the twins, hoping maybe he would come out while I was doing that. Then dabbled around in the kitchen. Fed the owls. Cleaned.
If I could apparate, I would. I don't know where I would go, though, maybe back to Headquarters. Or to Diagon Alley, or even the ministry. After being around people for some time now, being alone made me feel as though I was back in my home with Paddy.
"Hello Rosie!" A voice calls, making me realize I'd been wandering aimlessly down a path. "Wait up!"
I stop, turning to see Charlie's friend Joel. "Hi," I wave back at him, stopping to allow him to jog up to me. "How are you?"
"Fine, thanks." He puffs, "Where's Charlie?"
"Home." I shrug. "Haven't really seen him much."
"Oh, really?" He tilts his head looking down at me. "Weird. He's been saying how weird it will be when you go back to school."
"I doubt it, he'll probably be glad to have his home back." I state, forcing a quiet laugh.
"No not at all!" Joel laughs, tossing an arm over my shoulders as we continue walking wherever we were walking. "He was so excited to have you come, and now dreading your leave."
"I think he's a bit moody to be honest." I sigh. "One second he's hugging me, then he's rude, then we're laughing and playing games, then he shuts me out completely."
"Weird." He agrees. "Maybe you'll just have to come stay with me!" He says in a loud voice.
"Yea maybe!" I say with about as much enthusiasm, laughing as we come back into the space containing homes. Showing I'd gone in a complete circle. "This was not where I planned on ending up.." I laughed, leaning into Joel.
"Yea, me neither.." He says, also laughing.
We tried to stop, but ended up continuing to laugh for several more minutes until I spotted Charlie coming toward us. I sobered up my laughing, but continued to smile.
"Hey Joel, what're you doing with S'Rose?" Charlie asks, a plastic smile stuck on his face.
"Oh, just plotting when she'll move in with me." He answers, squeezing my shoulder lightly and shooting me a wink.
"Not happening." Charlie rolls his eyes, grabbing one of my hands. "Come on Rose, I made lunch."
"It's barely ten in the morning!" I laugh, being dragged toward the house. "Charlie!" I laugh, minorly trying to fight back.
Charlie pulls me into the house, then shuts the door behind me before letting go of my hand. We stare blankly at each other for what felt like a long time.
"So, err, where's this lunch?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. The kitchen counter, where I usually eat, was still bare.
"Oh uh..." He glances around the room, "I didn't actually make lunch." He rubs the back of his neck nervously, "you're just, uh, supposed to stay in here, or with me..."
"Whatever." I fold my arms, plopping myself down on the couch. Daisy was sick, so I couldn't go visit her, and I had no other reason to make him let me out.
"Hey, don't pout..." I look up to see Charlie standing behind the couch looking down at me. I quickly pucker out my bottom lip to make the poutiest face possible. "Sirina don't..." I begin to bat my eyes, sniffling slightly. He closes his eyes, and sighs slowly. "Don't make that face..."
"Why not?" I challenge. "I want to go outside. And go for a walk. But I am not allowed to." I close my eyes, pouting still. "I am sad, and pouty. So I will make a face that is sad and pou–"
I snap my eyes open as Charlie's lips press against mine. I blink rapidly, staring up at him as he turns to walk away. I turn on the couch to watch him pacing with his hands on his head.
"No...no no no..." He whispers to himself. "Go ahead and take a walk." He says quietly, still not looking at me. "Just...go...for a little while." He opens the door, looking at the ground as I silently walk out of it. I didn't know what to do or say.
I walk silently down a path leading to a lake. I sit on the dewey ground, staring at the lake. Subconsciously playing with my lips.
That just happened.
I immediately wished it hadn't. And yet I was glad that it had.
I never wanted to feel this way again. And yet I wanted to run back to the house, to him.
Mostly, I wanted my mum. Someone to talk to about this. Like every other teenage girl.
I couldn't very well tell Sirius or Remus, their like fathers, not mothers. Harry might get angry at him. And to tell Ginny would be weird.
Tonks. Her face suddenly came into my mind. I could talk to Tonks. But how? And would she understand?
Without realizing it, I suddenly had tears streaming down my face. And what I wanted more than anything was Paddy. But I couldn't have her, just like I couldn't have my Mum, or dad.
I sat on the bank of the lake, curled in a tight ball. Allowing myself to cry. I didn't even know why I was crying. I was just crying.
At some point it had started to rain, but I didn't move. I didn't care to move. Now, the tears were gone, but I couldn't handle facing Charlie again. I didn't know what to do or say once I saw him.
I had moved to lean against a tree trunk. Here, I sat, contemplating what to do. And what this all meant. I was going back to Hogwarts soon.
"Rose! Rose!" A voice was calling. I ignored it. "ROSIE!" Again, I ignored Joel's voice. "Thank god you're all right! Where was she Charlie?" He was right by me now.
"Asleep by the lake..." Charlie answers, his voice wavering. I open my eyes to find that he'd carried me back to the housing area from the lake. "Oh, are you awake now?"
His eyes were wide as he looked down into mine. I nod, pressing my head against his chest. He was warm, whereas I was not.
"I'm going to take her home.." Charlie said quietly to Joel, then he looked down at me, "can you walk?" I nodded, and he set me down, but I clung to his arm.
"Alright, goodnight..." Joel said, he smoothed down my hair, then shook Charlie's free hand.
I remained attached to Charlie until we made it back to his house. He gave me dry clothes of his, since mine were packed away, then allowed me to change.
Once dry, I found Charlie sitting quietly with a cup of tea on the couch. I gently sat beside him, taking the tea from his hand and taking a sip. I laughed when he looked at me with surprise.
"What?" I asked, taking another sip before giving his cup back.
"Oh, nothing." He shakes his head smiling at me.
We sit in silence for a few minutes. In this time, I notice that it is well past midnight, meaning I had stayed out all day.
"Look, uh, I'm sorry..." Charlie says quietly.
"For what?" I ask, turning to face him.
"For what happened earlier..." He says, looking down at his hands.
"Don't apologize." I say quietly, barely audible.
"But I–"
"Hey, I said, don't apologize." I state firmly, touching his hand on his tea cup. "Just don't."
"But..." He looks up from his hands and into my face.
"No." I shake my head. "I don't want to hear any apologies."
"Okay."
"Thank you." I sigh, curling my knees up to my chest. We sat silent here, something we never did. It was never silent in the home of Charlie Weasley.
I really looked around, taking in everything since I was leaving tomorrow(or later today) and would never be back. He had a family photo on his mantel, I'd seen it before, probably from Ginny. A photo of Ginny alone. And a picture of the twins, Harry and Ron playing quidditch– they were all happy, and high-fiving, no doubt after a good play.
Harry stuck in my mind. If I could feel every little thing about him, could he feel me? Does he have any clue as to what happened between Charlie and I? Did I care if he did? I'm not sure.
I look at Charlie, who was staring intently down into his cup of tea. His shaggy, messy, nighttime hair falling around his face. I smile, unable to help it. I followed his freckles from where they started on his nose, to where they got lost under his tee-shirt.
Breathing in deeply, I leaned toward him and kissed his cheek. He looked up at me with wide eyes. "Thank you for taking care of me..." I say quietly, looking into his blue eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such a brat sometimes, and I'm pouty, and I probably made a mess of your home..."
His lips curl into a smile, "you're welcome here anytime." Then he laughs. "Though you're right, you're a pouty brat that gets into an awful lot of trouble." He rolls his eyes sarcastically, making a joke of it.
"I'm serious." I laugh, shoving his shoulder.
"No, I know." He nods. "You do pout a lot, and that gets you into some trouble, doesn't it?" His cheeks start turning a light pink before he changes the subject. "But, you know, for such a tiny creature, you eat a lot."
I roll my eyes. "Ha ha." I fold my arms. "At least I have a healthy diet. Unlike you, who barely eats all day then eats way too much at bedtime."
"Speaking of... We need to be at Headquarters in just about six hours." He laughs. "You should get some sleep now."
"Yea, you're right..." I frown. "Goodnight, Charles." Surprising myself, I lean in and kiss his lips. Then, before either of us can react, I smile and run up the stairs to my room.
Laying on my back, I stair at the ceiling. Thinking about Hogwarts, and what will greet me once there. And of Charlie. What did he think we are, and what did he want to be?
A little boy with black hair was sitting on a soft rug, a woman with red hair smiling down at him. A tall, thin man came into the room, carrying a sad looking girl.
"Little one is still sick..." He sighs, sitting next to the woman. "Maybe a mothers love..?"
The woman takes the girl in her arms. "Oh Rini, what's wrong?" The girl just pouts, squeezing her eyes shut. "She never does cry," the woman states, cradeling her. "James...do you think she feels it? That something is wrong?"
"Oh, Lils..." He puts an arm around her. "In this case, I hope she is sick." He pulls the boy onto his lap, as he keeps an arm around his wife.
"Riiii...." The boy babbles, reaching toward his sister. "Riii..."
"Rina isn't feeling well, Harry..." James says soothingly. "How about you and me go get ready for Paddy and Moony? Hm?"
The boy claps his hands as the girl whimpers. The mother checks her fever, there wasn't one. The girl has no fever, no cough, no stomach problems. Nobody knew what was wrong with her.
Her brother crawls out of the father's arms to see his sister. After just a few moments of eye contact, the boy gasps and frowns. The girl whimpers. He growls, and she nods.
James and Lily have no access to this secret language. If they did, these infants would have saved their lives.
"SIRINA! SIRINA!" I wake with a start, Charlie standing over me looking frazzled. "Are you okay? You were screaming..." He says slowly.
My breathing was rough and my throat hurt. I was definitely screaming. My entire body was dotted with sweat. I could have saved them.
"Sirina?" He repeats.
I nod. "Bad dream..." I lie, partially, I didn't want to explain it. "What time is it?" I sit up, wiping my forehead, feeling a dull pain at my scar.
"Only five, you still have a few hours of sleep..." He says, smoothing down some of my hair.
"Can we go now?" I blurt out. I just wanted Harry.
"What?"
"Uh, never mind..." I shrug, "I just don't think I can sleep anymore..."
"Okay," he says softly, sitting on the bed. "Why don't you get dressed, and I'll go prepare breakfast, hm?"
"My clothes are packed..." I frown. "Here," he takes off his Gryffindor sweater, "wear this, and some of your pants were in the laundry this morning..."
"Thanks," I smile down at the sweater before looking up at him, noticing he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath.
"Well, I'll be downstairs when you're ready." He kisses my forehead then leaves. I watch as he walks out of my room in just his flannel pajama bottoms.
I go to the bathroom to wash up and change, my mind never leaving the dream I had. And the warmth in my scar once I woke up. And just a little bit of Charlie...
A/N
(5/31) Well, I didn't actually write this today but oh well.... Anyway... Theories?
Xxoo I still love you, as usual. :)
(6/8) Tomorrow is my last day of school EVER. Hopefully I'll update regularly again... :) Anyway, here's an update, a few days later than I would have liked but eh I'm so sorry..