"I'm not going."
"Karkat, this is not a negotiation," Kankri said from the doorway. "You're going."
Karkat rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not."
"Yes you are. We scheduled the appointment today, so you're going to go." Kankri walked over and grabbed Karkat's wrist, tugging him to his feet. "Now, would you please get your things? We're going to be late."
"I'm not--" Karkat yanked his arm out of Kankri's grip. "I'm not fucking going."
"Language, and I'm not going to tell you again. Get your things," Kankri said sternly.
"I swear to fucking god," Karkat growled, angrily picking up his sweater from his bed. When he walked out into the living room, Kankri was already outside waiting. He cast a cautious glance towards the door before he went over to Cronus's bag and rummaged around until he found his pack of cigarettes. He slipped out and into his pocket and, after hesitating for a bit, took his lighter too. It was the fancy chrome-plated, windproof kind, and was much better and much more expensive than the disposable plastic one he usually used. He didn't particularly need it, but he was pissed off and he wanted to something bad.
"Why the hell would you schedule a fucking therapy appointment when you knew I had something tonight?" Karkat asked when he climbed into the car.
"I told you, I didn't realize they were on the same day until it was too late to reschedule," Kankri replied.
"And what, we couldn't just skip this one?"
"No."
"Nothing's gonna happen if I miss one session. You realize that, right?"
"Yes. I know that. But I also know you, and I don't want this to become a habit of yours."
Karkat rolled his eyes, sighing harshly.
"It's only an hour, Karkat. I'm sure your friends will still be there when you arrive."
"Fuck you," Karkat snapped.
"Language."
"I don't even fucking need to go."
"Would you rather be grounded and not go at all?" Kankri asked, glancing over at him sharply.
Karkat just glared at Kankri. "You can't ground me."
"Yes I can."
"You're not my parent. You're not Dad."
Kankri let out a sharp tight lipped sigh. "No. I'm not. But I am your legal guardian now, and it's my job to discipline you, so if you continue to be difficult you can just go back home afterwards instead of to your party."
"Really?" Karkat asked sarcastically.
"Yes, really."
Karkat sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. He couldn't say anything back though; he did actually want to go to the party.
"Fine," he muttered angrily, pulling out his phone so he could ignore Kankri.
"Thank you. Being so reluctant about it will only make it seem longer anyways."
Karkat ignored him. Dave had just texted him to see where he was. He texted back, saying he was gonna be a little late.
When they finally got to the office, Karkat got out of the car before they had fully stopped and was already halfway across the parking lot by the time Kankri had gotten out and shouted after him.
"K-- Slow down, please." He jogged over to catch up with him. Karkat ignored him, walking a little faster. In the elevator, he stood as far away from him as he could, leaning back into the corner with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. The waiting room was mostly empty and his name was called almost immediately. He stalked into the office, seething quietly as he sat down.
"Hello, Karkat."
"I don't want to be here," he growled.
"I see. Thank you for telling me." She sat back in her chair, crossing her right leg over her left. "Is there a reason why?"
"Well, I'm never exactly super fucking pumped to let someone pick apart everything I say and tell me how fucked up I am," he said flatly.
"I gathered as much, but that's not all, is it? You're not usually this annoyed during our other sessions and you don't like those either."
Karkat looked over at her, his eyebrows still deeply furrowed. She looked back at him, her face calm and kind. She expectantly raised her own eyebrows a tiny bit. After a bit, he looked away and rolled his eyes. "Fine. There was this... party I was supposed to go to tonight and it's starting--" he pulled out his phone to check the time, "--now, but Kankri still made me come here."
She nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. "There it is. I see. Well, it makes sense for you to be upset. A party, huh? That sounds fun. What's it for?"
"Vriska--the girl who's throwing it--said it was supposed to be to 'properly' welcome me to the school or whatever the fuck, but from what everyone else keeps telling me that's just some shitty cover up excuse for her to throw another party."
"Vriska. Is she a friend of yours?"
"Yeah. Kinda. I mean, we sit together everyday at lunch, but we're also with a bunch of other people too and I don't really know her well since she's not in any of my classes and I've never seen her outside of school. She's really more Dave's friend than mine."
"Is Dave another of your friends?"
"Yeah."
She nodded. "Well, it's good that you're already making some friends. But could you explain what you mean when you say she's his friend than yours?"
"I mean... We're technically friends but..." Karkat shook his head. "I don't know. I didn't really make any of them myself, I guess, it was kinda more like I got there and Dave introduced me to all his friends and they all just kind of... accepted me as theirs. I don't know."
"I see. How did all that make you feel? Were you glad to have friends or did you feel different?"
"I guess I was just kind of neutral towards them. At first. I-I mean, I like them and all, they're nice, but I just never really... I guess... connect with any of them. I don't know."
"Mmm. So you feel left out, somewhat? Is that it?"
"Kind of."
"Do you feel like this with all your friends here?"
"Um." Karkat thought for a moment. "No. Not really. Not... um... not with Dave." Karkat crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from her. "I guess he's... the one person I get along with best. I mean, we hang out the most. I know him the best of anyone else down here."
"I see. Is there a reason why that is?"
"Yeah, I guess. Like, he kind of... I don't know, made me be friends with him? I don't know. That sounds bad." Karkat shook his head, bringing his hand to his lips to gnaw on his fingernail. "He was the one who showed me around on my first day. He was the first kid I met here. He started talking to me afterwards and then I guess we kind of... hit it off. Or whatever."
"So he's the best friend that you have here so far?"
"Yeah."
"Is he going to be at the party too?"
"Yeah."
"Is he why you're so eager to go?"
"I guess. He kind of convinced me to go, in a way."
"You didn't want to go originally?" she asked.
"Not really."
"Why is that?"
"Well, I'm not really that social of a person, I guess. Like, I only had 2 friends back in New York, so I'm not really all that used to big parties like this and stuff. But I mean, it's not like he forced me to go or anything," Karkat added quickly. "He's not like that. He's... nice."
"I see. He sounds like a good kid."
"He is. I guess. He can be a little annoying sometimes, but for the most part he's..." Karkat trailed off, thinking about Dave himself. The way he could switch from teasing you almost too much to being careful and considerate at the drop of a hat. Fundamentally, he knew when he was pushing it a little too far. "Annoying" almost didn't seem like the right word for him, it seemed too negative.
Karkat blinked, shaking himself from his trance as his cheeks got warm. He looked back over at her. "He's... I don't know."
"Can't find the words?" she asked, a tiny bit of amusement in her voice.
Karkat shook his head. "No." He looked down at his lap, picking at the edge of his nail. A short beat of silence hung in the air before he mumbled, "Are we gonna talk about anything else?"
"We can, if you want to. Is there anything specific you want to discuss?"
"I don't want to talk about my dad," Karkat said.
"That's fine for now." She shifted a bit in her seat, tipping her head to the side. "What about your friends from New York? You haven't talked much about them yet."
"Oh. Ok." Karkat shrugged. "I mean there isn't much to it, I guess. They were the two best friends I had there. Probably the only best friends I've had so far."
"What are their names?"
"Terezi and Sollux."
"How did you all meet?"
"Terezi, I met when we were little kids. She was in my kindergarten class and she just came up to me and started talking, and then within a week we were friends."
She smiled a bit. "That's nice. Is she a good friend?"
"Yeah. She can be a little overbearing sometimes, but she always means well." Karkat thought back to when she'd been pestering him to talk to Dave. "Not that it seems like it all the time."
"What about Sollux?"
"Oh. We, um, met a couple months before I met Terezi. At day care. He was one of the youngest kids there and he looked like he'd been rolling around in a pile of dirt beforehand, and he had this horrible lisp where you could barely understand a thing he was saying. And he was really angry for some reason and he was just really mean to all the other kids. Except for me, for some reason. He must've seen something in me that he thought was worthwhile, because he never yelled at me the way he yelled at everyone else. I think I made him... calmer, almost." Karkat's cheeks started getting warm again and he looked down, pressing his hand to his face. "I don't know. But he liked being around me and I thought he was alright, so for the next two or three months we were practically inseparable, until Terezi showed up."
She nodded. "They sound like some good people. You still miss them a lot?"
"Sometimes. When I'm alone or bored or I want to talk to someone or whatever and then I remember that my only two friends live thousands of miles away, and then it just... all kinda hits me at once. But it's starting to hurt less when it does."
"That's good. What about the friends you've made here, though? Don't they help at all?" she offered.
"Yeah. A little. Mostly... um... m-mostly Dave. He's the one who can usually cheer me up the quickest when I'm depressed or anything." Karkat frowned. "Which isn't all that often. I don't really like people to see me upset."
"I see."
"Yeah. I don't know. I sound really..." Karkat shook his head, moving his hand up to scratch behind his ear. "I don't know."
"Well if it's any consolation, I think it's good that you already have a support system." She closed the notepad on her lap and smiled a little at him. "Well, we're done for today--"
Karkat perked up. "We are?"
"Mm hmm. That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"I... guess not."
"And based on what I think your friends are like, they'll all still be waiting for you when you finally do get to that party of yours."
Karkat nodded, standing up slowly. "Yeah."
"I'll see you in a couple weeks. Go have fun," she said with a smile.
Karkat turned to leave, starting towards the door. With his hand almost to the knob, he turned back and held up his hand in a half wave. "...Bye."
"See you."
Out in the waiting room, Kankri stood up as soon as Karkat walked out. As usually, he didn't try to say anything to him until they got to the car.
"How did it--" he started.
"I don't want to talk about it," Karkat mumbled, pulling out his phone to text Dave.
Kankri only sighed softly. "Fine. That's fine."
As the two started on their way to Vriska's house, a tense silence hung in the air. After about five minutes, Kankri cleared his throat.
"So. We still haven't set any ground rules," he started.
Karkat groaned. "I already told you I'm not gonna fuck anybody there."
"Language, and that's good, but that's not all. First of all, you should to be back home at 12:30, exactly. No negotiations." Kankri shifted a bit. "In all honesty your curfew should be midnight, seeing as you are only 16, not to mention the state curfews for minors and all, but I'm going to put a bit of trust in you. For now. If you are even 5 minutes late, you're grounded."
Karkat scoffed quietly. "Yeah. Ok. Sure. What else?"
Kankri looked over at him, his lips pursed in an annoyed frown. He looked back at the road and sighed. "Second, you are not to accept or take any illicit substances of any kind. No alcohol, no drugs, no tobacco, none of it. I don't care if the entire room is smoking, you politely decline. I don't care if the only thing they have to drink is beer. You ask for water instead. If I find out that you drank even one sip, you're--"
"Grounded?" Karkat interrupted.
"Yes," Kankri said tightly. "Do not take any drinks from strangers. Even if it's someone you know. You don't know what they might have put in it, even if you're sure it tastes like just juice or soda."
"I hope you realize I wasn't planning on coming home stoned or wasted or any shit like that," Karkat said.
"I know, Karkat, but this is a different environment with different people and different pressures and sometimes people do things they weren't intending to in the heat of the moment."
Karkat huffed softly in annoyance.
"I'm only trying to make sure you're safe," Kankri said, his voice gentler.
"I don't need you to tell me to be safe. I'm not an idiot."
Kankri sighed. "Fine. Fine, I'm not going to fight you over this."
They turned a corner, and Vriska's house came into view. The entire driveway and both sides of the street were filled with cars, and there were even a couple parked on the front lawn. The music from inside was barely audible from where they were and people seemed to have overflowed and spilled outside the house, scattered across the lawn and talking and sipping from their red plastic cups.
Karkat felt something stir in his chest as Kankri pulled up to the house. He put his hand on the door.
"Hey."
He turned back. Kankri was looking at him, a weird look on his face that Karkat couldn't quite place. His brother darted his eyes between the house and Karkat and then softly said, "Be careful. Please."
Karkat looked away. "I will." He pushed open the door. "B-bye." He started towards the front door, willing himself not to look back. When he finally did hear Kankri drive off, he relaxed a tiny bit. He appreciated the concern and all, but Karkat was 16 for god's sake. He could look after his own damn self. He didn't need to be coddled.
Karkat looked up at the house as he approached the doorstep. It was huge, much, much bigger than either of their houses here or in New York. Vriska's family had to be loaded. Up this close, he could feel the bass of the blaring music in his bones and almost hear the deafening din of people chatting inside.
Karkat swallowed. This was a gigantic house, filled to the brim with people he didn't know, from a school he'd barely been at a month, all probably drunk or stoned or both. He felt a bit of anxiety spark in his chest.
Don't worry, he told himself quickly, before he was able to psych himself out. Dave's there too. He won't leave you alone.
Karkat closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it go.
He rang the doorbell.
A couple of minutes later, he heard the door creak as someone pulled it open. The noise leaked out as the door opened. Dave was sitting there, looking up at him. When he saw Karkat, his face broke out in a smile.
"Well, well, looks like someone finally decided to show his face," Dave said with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of him.
"Would you just let me in already?"
Dave smiled at him and wheeled himself back a bit, beckoning for him to come inside. As soon as he stepped in, he was nearly deafened by the booming music and the cacophony of voices. The place was nearly packed, with people leaning against the walls and standing almost shoulder to shoulder. Dave gestured for Karkat to follow him and together, with Dave pushing his way through and Karkat following behind in the empty space Dave's wheelchair made, they went into the kitchen, where it was a little quieter. Karkat sat at one of the few empty stools at the counter while Dave went to go find a cup.
"So," Dave said, grabbing a beer from the case on the counter and cracking it open. "Exactly what mysterious thing was so pressing that you had to leave me stranded here on my own for an hour and a half?"
"Oh. It was, um... just some family thing. Kankri wanted to talk about some stupid shit. Don't worry about it," Karkat said, looking away and tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. "Everything's fine."
Dave shrugged. "Since you insist. Won't press" He held out the cup of beer he'd just poured. "Here."
Karkat didn't take it at first, remembering back to what Kankri had said before he slowly took the cup. "Thanks."
"What?" Dave asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You mean to tell me you meant it when you said you weren't drinking anything?"
"No," Karkat said, a little too quickly. "I-I don't know, I was just..." He shook his head, raising the cup to his lips. "Never mind." He took a small drink and immediately grimaced a bit before he could suppress it.
"You've had beer before, haven't you?" Dave asked, a small smirk spreading over his lips as he raised his own can to his mouth
"Yeah. Yeah, a couple times. I was just..." Karkat took another small drink and winced at the unimproved taste. "It's been a little while."
"Yeah, well, warm beer ain't exactly a delicacy," Dave said somewhat apologetically, finishing off his own beer. "But eventually you drunk enough, you won't mind the taste."
"Who ever said I was getting drunk?" Karkat said as he took another longer sip. It got a little less disgusting the more he drank, and it actually had a half decent aftertaste.
Dave smirked. "You honestly think you're goin' home sober? You've barely been here 10 minutes and you're already through your first beer."
"Yeah, but I'm not gonna go home wasted either," Karkat said back.
Dave only shrugged, getting himself a new beer and cracking open the tab. "If you're so sure?"
"And what exactly makes you so sure I'm wrong," Karkat asked, setting down his now empty cup.
"Nothing, nothing. I just happen to know how these kinds of parties work. People don't come planning to--" He stopped for a second. "Most people don't come to parties planning to get completely fucking shitfaced, but it happens regardless. Haven't you seen any slice-of-life high school movie? You're the... quiet kid, the one whose much more outgoing friends drag him to a house party where it turns out he's actually a complete fuckin' party animal when he's drunk. You know, lampshade on head, bottle permanently tucked under his arm, stumbles home wearing someone else's pants, that kinda thing."
Karkat just looked at Dave. "Do you honestly think I'm that kind of person?"
"Maybe. We'll just have to see," Dave said with a grin, handing Karkat another beer.
The two stayed in the kitchen for a little while, talking and drinking. Dave, he noticed, was burning through cans much faster than he was yet remained looking and acting the same, when Karkat started to feel light headed after only three. He glanced around the party surrounding them, at all the people Vriska had managed to cram into her one house. No one seemed to care much about the borderline overcrowding. They still mingled and talked, the occasional rowdy yell or sharp laugh rising above the noise of the voices and the music, as if they weren't packed in shoulder to shoulder like sardines.
"So," Karkat said after a while, reaching to get another beer from the case. "What's this I'm always hearing about Vriska's parties?"
"Oh. They're nothing special, really," Dave said with a shrug. "They're usually just like any old high school house party, complete with everyone's parents' stolen booze and random people hooking up everywhere and the occasional overdramatic fist fight. Only remotely unique thing about her is how many she throws every year. Her parents are never home, practically, so she always has at least two or three every school year. Always has, ever since I was a freshman." Dave put his cup to his lips, smirking a bit. "Ironic thing is she ain't even all that well liked. I mean, I know I wouldn't go running to her for sappy 3am love advice. I'll bet you half of these people here hate her guts. Most of 'em are just here for the free booze and the heavy implications of maybe drunk-fuckin' someone. I know I sure am."
Karkat let out a soft half chuckle, taking another sip of his beer. The party wasn't all that bad, he thought to himself. Yeah, it was loud and crowded and sweaty and borderline chaotic and everything he'd touched already felt sticky for some reason, but overall he felt ok. Maybe it was because he was on his fourth beer, but the whole of the party so far was nice.
"Well," Dave said after a little while, "nice as it is to sit here and try to drink all of Vriska's beer, we actually have somewhere to be right about now"
"Oh really?" Karkat asked. "And where exactly would that be?"
"Truth or dare. I'm sure Vriska and her lackeys are waiting for us in one of her innumerable back rooms, 'cause I told her I'd bring you as soon as you got here, which was..." Dave checked his phone, "45 minutes ago."
Karkat smirked a little as he got up. "Really? Truth or dare? What are we, fourth graders?"
"I don't set up the shit we do, I just participate," Dave said, holding up his hands defensively before grabbing his wheels and rolling towards the hallway. "Who knows? Maybe Vriska just wants the chance to interrogate you while you're drunk."
Karkat snorted softly. "I'm not drunk."
"Yeah you are."
"No I'm not. I've been drunk before, and I know I'm not drunk."
Dave turned to look back at him and shrugged. "You're a little drunk. Tipsy, maybe. You're certainly no longer buzzed."
"Well, I don't feel very drunk," Karkat countered.
"You never really feel drunk until you're at least halfway to being wasted, though. Trust me, I know when someone's drunk." Dave stopped in front of a half open door and listened for a moment before he pushed it open the rest of the way. "Here they are."
Sure enough, when Karkat walked inside, he saw everyone from their lunch table, as well as a few people Karkat didn't recognize, sitting on the floor in a circle, chattering and laughing. They were practically surrounded by a forest of red solo cups and when Vriska turned to look at the door, Karkat could tell she was already drunk.
"Hey!" she shouted from across the room. "If it isn't everyone's favorite cripple. We've been waiting on you assholes for, like, an hour. What gives?"
"I wanted to make sure I got a little booze in him first," Dave said calmly, wheeling over to their circle. "It wasn't like he would've wanted to see you when he was still sober."
Vriska frowned, narrowing her eyes. "...Fair. I guess." She looked over at Karkat as he sat next to Dave and gave him a tight smile. "But that's not true, is it? You love me, just like everyone else, right?"
"What do you think?" Karkat asked flatly. Vriska flipped him off, and he surveyed around the circle. Dave, who had gotten out of his wheelchair to sit on the ground with everyone else, was sitting next to John, and next to him was a kid he didn't recognize, with lots of messy black hair and a dopey, strung out grin plastered all over his face. There was another person to his right, and then Vriska, unfortunately directly across from him. Next to her was Equius, who if course had Nepeta clinging to him and giggling drunkenly, and finally to his right was Feferi, who was sitting quietly in place but whose telltale flushed cheeks told him she'd been drinking quite a bit as well.
Karkat glanced over at Dave. He somehow had a fresh beer in his hand, even though Karkat could have sworn he'd finished his old one in the kitchen. He didn't say anything about it though as he crossed his legs.
"So," Vriska said eventually, leaning back on her arm and taking a long drink from her cup. "Now that we can finally get this shit started, who wants to go first? How about..." She scanned her eyes around the circle, lingering on Karkat for a few seconds. He glared at her when she did, until she rolled her eyes and looked over at Feferi to her right. She smiled. "Feferi. Truth or dare?"
"Hm? Oh, um..." Feferi looked up at the ceiling and puffed out her red cheeks as she thought. "Dare."
"I dare you to kiss me," Vriska said simply.
Feferi's eyebrows shot up as the rest of the room let out a collective "Ooo." Her already rosy cheeks turned even pinker. Vriska just grinned, cocking an eyebrow at her.
"Uh," Feferi stammered weakly. "O-oh."
"Well?" Vriska asked over the din of voices. She gestured for everyone to be quiet before she spoke again. "Yes or no?"
"U-um," Feferi stammered. She brushed a long lock of hair behind her ear and giggled nervously. "O-ok, I g--"
Before she could finish speaking, Vriska had darted over and grabbed her head and smashed their lips together. Everyone else started cheering as the kiss lingered on second by second. Eventually, Vriska pulled away, sitting back down with her lip gloss smeared and a smug look on her face, although her flushed cheeks gave away how she was really feeling. Feferi was blushing like mad, a sort of dazed look on her face. She sat back, her hand against her mouth and looked around. After a moment, she landed on someone.
"T... Truth or dare," she mumbled to Nepeta.
As the game continued, all the usual stuff appeared: the I-dare-you-to-kiss-someone, the who-do-you-like, the dangerous dares, the borderline invasive truths. Someone, Karkat couldn't pinpoint who, kept them all supplied with beer. It was like he'd set down his empty cup and within the next moment it would be full again. After about an hour, Karkat's head was starting to feel seriously fuzzy, almost numb, and he couldn't seem to keep from giggling softly at everything everyone said, although luckily he was able to keep enough of his wits about him to not say anything incriminating about himself. Dave, he noticed, was still drinking much faster than him, but still didn't even seem remotely drunk. Karkat kept trying to figure out how this was, but he was ultimately too tipsy to focus on it for very long.
"Karkat. Truth or dare."
"Huh?" Karkat looked up and found Vriska and the rest of the circle staring at him intently. She was visibly much drunker than earlier, but she still had her usual stupid grin plastered on her face.
"I don't think I've bothered you enough yet tonight," she said with a shrug, slurring her words just a tiny bit. "Plus, it's your turn. Truth or dare."
Karkat's face flared even hotter. "Oh. Um." He cut his eyes over to Dave for a second, who simply raised his eyebrows at him, and then mumbled, "Truth. I guess. I don't know."
Vriska smirked. "Perfect. Tell me who you like. I dare you."
Karkat stopped for a moment, thrown off by the question as the rest of the circle started up with another chorus of "oohs" and cheering. Dave, who had been bringing his cup to his lips, faltered a bit and looked over at him. Karkat felt the blush on his cheeks slowly spread down his neck. After a few seconds, he managed to shake himself out of it enough to frown at Vriska. "That's a shitty question. Pick a better one."
"No. That's the question I asked, so you have to answer it. That's how the game works," Vriska said with another shit eating grin. "So I ask again: who do you like?"
"N-no one," Karkat said flatly, kicking himself for letting his voice shake.
Vriska glanced over at Dave beside him and smirked. "You sure?"
Karkat's face got even hotter. "Yes."
"Positive?"
"Yes."
"Mmm, I dunno. Some of us would beg to differ. You sure there isn't anyone? Nobody at all?" she asked, not so subtly nodding her head in Dave's direction.
"No, I-- I'm not telling you that," Karkat said with a scowl.
"Those are the rules of the game, Karkitty," Vriska said. "You pick truth, you tell the truth and nothin' but. You gonna follow 'em or not?"
Karkat scowled at her, his palms starting to tingle. "I'm..." He looked around the circle of people and briefly over at Dave before he frowned and stood up. "I... I have to go."
"Aw, boo, don't be like that," Vriska pouted, sticking her bottom lip out. "Just take one for the team. I mean, I know we've all been just dying to know whether the rumors are true or not." He could hear Vriska giggle a little on the last work as he pushed open the door and left. He leaned back against the wall and put his head in his hands.
Karkat sighed softly. He hated being put on the spot like that. And especially not when Dave was right there. He hated the way his whole face felt like it was on fire, how it felt like the whole room was staring at him just waiting for him to say something wrong so they could tease him even more for it.
Karkat shoved his hand into his pocket, slipping out his lighter and his cigarettes. He didn't care if he was indoors, and he especially didn't care that it in was Vriska's house. He lit up and took a long drag. He tipped his head back against the wall and exhaled the smoke, already feeling a little better. He only got in a couple more drags before he hear the door start to creak open again. Instinctively, he rushed to snuff his cigarette out before whoever it was came out and saw him.
It was Dave. When they saw each other, both could see the other relax a tiny bit. Dave glanced around, his nose twitching ever so slightly as he did.
"Hey," he said. Just as before, somewhat infuriatingly, he sounded completely sober. His voice was soft, as if he didn't want anyone to overhear them, and surprisingly gentle. "You alright?"
Karkat crossed his arms over his chest, looking down as he propped his foot back against the wall. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, I was just-- I-I needed some air. Y'know."
Dave smiled a little bit. "Not exactly the best place for a lungful of fresh air."
"Yeah," Karkat said, smiling a little himself. "I guess not."
A long awkward silence hung between the two of them, as each struggled to think of something to talk about besides the obvious.
"Do you, um," Karkat mumbled after a little while, "know where the bathroom is?"
"Oh. Yeah. It's... down there. First door on the right," Dave said a little too quickly, pointing down the hallway.
"Thanks." As he turned to leave, Dave stopped him.
"Um-- You're... Should we... w-wait for you?" he stammered softly.
"Oh." Karkat looked down, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear. "I don't know. I don't really like party games that much."
"Oh."
"I have to... go now," Karkat mumbled, nodding down the hallway. His neck was starting to get warm again.
"Oh. Yeah. See you around."
Karkat walked down the hallway to the bathroom, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He tried his best to shake the awkward encounter out of his mind, instead letting himself be absorbed in the activity around him. According to his phone, it was 10:20, but the party was still abuzz with excitement. He passed more than a few couples making out in the hallway, including Kanaya and Rose in a little alcove in the corner. He was a little surprised to see them all over each other, but he didn't say anything to them. When he reached the bathroom, he kept walking, eventually settling into wandering around the unfamiliar house. He pulled out a new cigarette and smoked it as he walked, his nerves and embarrassment slowly disappearing. Every so often, he'd end up back in the kitchen to get another drink and after another hour he found it was a little hard to walk straight.
Karkat flicked the butt of his cigarette to the ground, clearing his throat and leaning against the wall. He sighed, pulling out his phone and checking the time. He was starting to get bored on his own, and there was no damn way he was gonna hang out with Vriska, but he also didn't know where Dave had gone.
"Pst. Hey."
Karkat stopped. He looked around, not knowing where the voice had come from. He was nearly alone in the hallway, and everyone around was either passed out or ignoring him.
"Over here, KitKat."
It sounded familiar. And it sounded like it was coming from his right. He turned around, and found there was a door just about half a foot from him. It was cracked open wide enough that Karkat wondered how he hadn't noticed it earlier, and when he approached it, he found Dave sitting on the bed. He was leaning back on one of his elbows and he smiled when he saw Karkat. He beckoned him forward with one finger. "C'mon. I don't bite."
"I didn't know where you were," Karkat said as he entered. Dave's wheelchair was sitting empty next to the bed, and in Dave's left hand was a half full green bottle. He took a swig from it and patted the spot next to him. Karkat sat beside him. Even in the relatively dim light of the room, he could see that his cheeks were bright red.
"Yeah, well I have a habit of disappearing like that," Dave said with a shrug. "There's only so much drunk Vriska I can deal with at any given time. She knows that." Dave took another short swig of whatever was in his bottle. "You're one to talk, though. Where exactly did you scuttle off to? She only asked you one question. Would've expected you'd last at least two or three."
"Oh. I don't know. She was just being fucking annoying or whatever," Karkat said. "I needed some air."
"You sure it wasn't 'bout what she asked?" Dave said with a grin.
"Fuck you," Karkat said, shoving Dave gently. "Like I'd tell you that. What about you? Why are you just sitting here in the dark drinking... whatever that is? I thought you were supposed to be some kinda big popular... cool guy who's got a billion friends."
"Well, one, you're not exactly wrong, two, I don't really know myself but it's strong and it tastes decent, so I like it. Some kind of ale, maybe. And three..." Dave shrugged, taking another drink. "I dunno. I just like bein' on my own sometimes, I guess. It's just how I am when I'm drunk."
"Oh, so now you're drunk," Karkat muttered, laying back on the bed and draping his arm over his eyes. "What about an hour and a half ago?"
Dave chuckled. "I never said I wasn't before."
"You didn't fuckin' act like it."
"I already told you, I actually know how to hold my liquor. Been doin' this shit since I was 12."
"Really?" Karkat asked, sitting back up.
"Mm hmm. Sounds kinda weird sayin' it out loud, but yeah. But that's a whole other can 'a worms I don't wanna get into while I'm wasted. Long story short, I'm great at being drunk but not good at acting like it. That make any sense?"
"No. Nothing you've ever said has ever made any sense," Karkat mumble, laying back down. "Everything that's ever come out of your mouth has just been complete and utter bullshit."
"Well aren't you just a barrel of goddamn laughs when you're drunk," Dave said, running his finger along the lip of his bottle.
Karkat muttered something under his breath, running a hand through his hair and flipping Dave off as well. He was quiet for a moment, the only sound his own soft breathing and the slosh of the liquid Dave was drinking. He rolled back up into a sitting position, pressing his hand against his forehead.
"I told my brother I wasn't gonna drink," Karkat mumbled, half to himself. "He made me promise."
"'S a little late for that, I'd say," Dave said.
"It's his own damn fault anyways. He can't tell me what to do. He's not my dad, he's my brother. It's not like he actually has any fucking power."
"Well he's your legal guardian, isn't he?"
"Yeah, but he keeps trying t' fucking... coddle me or whatever," Karkat said, slurring together a few of the words. "Like I'm some... little fucking kid. I can handle own damn self."
Dave laughed, knocking back the rest of his drink. "You always this angry when you're drunk?"
"I'm not angry I'm jus' mad," Karkat slurred tiredly.
Dave only giggled again, shaking his head.
"Fuck you," Karkat muttered. "I'm drunk."
"Well so am I and you don't see me gettin' synonyms mixed up." Dave smiled and laughed quietly when Karkat started muttering curse words under his breath. He reached to take another drink when he realized his bottle was empty. "Shit," he murmured. He set it on the side table and then turned to Karkat. "Well. Looks like I'm fresh outta booze, so I guess I gotta actually pay attention to you now."
"We've been talking for an hour," Karkat said.
"It's been like half an hour."
"40 minutes."
"Fair. But I mean really talk y'know? The kinda talking that you forget about in the morning, where you accidentally reveal a bunch of shitty personal stuff that you'd be dead of embarrassment over if you could ever remember half of it."
"Like what?"
"We never finished that truth or dare game of ours," Dave offered.
"No fuckin' way."
"Ah, c'mon, KitKat. It doesn't have to be like an actual game, it can just be... chill. Booze fueled interrogation between two friends. How about that?"
"Is this just some kind of half assed attempt to get me to tell you who I like?" Karkat muttered, sitting all the way back up and glaring at Dave.
"No." When Karkat only glared at him, he held up his hands defensively. "I'm serious. I'm too drunk to come up with some convoluted schemey way to weasel it outta you anyways. I'm just bored. I don't wanna go home yet. I mean, c'mon it's only 11:50, party's only just gettin' started."
Karkat snorted softly, rolling his eyes. "Fine. But only because you won't fuckin' shut up about it." He started fishing around in his pocket for his cigarettes.
Dave grinned. "Great. I'll go first; truth or dare?"
"Truth," Karkat said as he tapped out a cigarette and flicked on Cronus's lighter. "I don't trust drunk you's dares."
Dave watched him as he lit up and took a drag. "Since when do you smoke?"
"Since six months ago. Why? You gonna try and lecture me about how smoking kills or whatever the fuck?"
"Look at who you're talkin' to," Dave said, quirking an eyebrow. "I was just curious. I didn't know you were so rebellious."
"There's a lot you don't know about me," Karkat said. He exhaled a stream of smoke. "Truth or dare."
"Truth."
"What the hell is the deal with those fucking sunglasses of yours?" he asked, pointing at the pair still perched on his forehead. "I've never seen you wear them and they just make you look like an asshole if you have them like that."
"Oh. These." Dave reached up to take them down, looking them over. "Nostalgia reasons. Reminds me of some stuff from when I was younger."
Karkat glanced over at him, raising an eyebrow at him. Dave waved it off. "Won't go into it now," he said, folding them up and putting them in his pocket. "You can ask sober me. Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Why'd you move down here? I mean I'm no expert, but Houston, Texas ain't really most people's dream city."
"My brother. He was moving down here with his fiancé and I had to go with them, 'cause my dad's... not here right now." He put his cigarette back between his lips. "Truth or dare."
"Truth."
"What's with the pictures?"
Dave shrugged. "Old childhood hobby. Clinging to it for nostalgia reasons. Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Why do you smoke?"
Karkat rolled his eyes. "It's fun, I guess. Makes me feel better sometimes."
"You aren't worried about, say, lung cancer?" Dave asked.
Karkat only snorted. "Truth or dare."
"Hmm... Dare. Change it up a little."
Karkat thought for a moment. He took another drag and exhaled the smoke through his nostrils. "I dare you to take a hit," he said, holding out his cigarette.
"I don't smoke," Dave said.
"So? It's a dare, and it's only one drag anyways. It's not like you're gonna die from it," Karkat said.
Dave looked at him for a moment and then sighed. "Fine," he said, taking the cigarette from him. "How do you--" Dave brought it to his lips and took a short hesitant puff before collapsing into a fit of coughs. Karkat snickered at him and took back his cigarette.
"Tastes like shit," Dave choked out.
"You get used to it."
"How do you even fucking--" Dave rubbed his hand down his face, coughing and gagging. "Quit--" cough "--laughing at me. I told you I don't smoke." He cleared his throat and spat next to the side table. "Fuck. Truth or dare."
"Truth."
"How you liking it here so far? Is it much different from where you used to live?"
"Mm hmm. It's alright, I guess, so far. I mean, it's not back home, but it's not bad, really." Karkat gently tapped a bit of ash from the tip of his cigarette. "I just miss my old town a lot. It's different. I miss my old friends."
"Makes sense," Dave said, leaning his elbows on his legs and putting his chin in his hand. "It'd suck if I had to move away from everyone I know here."
"Mmm."
"'Least you have me, though, right?" Dave asked, gently nudging Karkat, who just smiled.
"Truth or dare," he said softly, leaning over so he could snuff out the butt of his cigarette on the side table.
"Truth."
"What's it like being in a wheelchair?"
Dave looked over at him and smirked a little. "Goin' for the hard hitting shit, I see."
"Oh. You don't--"
"It's fine. I'm long past getting sad over it." Dave sat up straight, rubbing his neck with one hand. "I don't know. I mean, it's certainly not walking. It's... different, I guess. The world looks different. People treat you different. Everything feels different. Like all of a sudden there's just a whole other world you don't get to be a part of anymore."
"Oh," Karkat said softly.
"Yeah," Dave murmured. "It's a real change. But you can get pretty used to it pretty fast. Truth or dare?"
"...Truth."
"Are you really only five foot?"
"Yes. Why, did you think I was lying?"
"No, it's just weird. You're the shortest person my age I've ever met."
"Well if it helps my brother's only 5' 5"," Karkat muttered. "Runs in the family I guess. Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Um..." Karkat blew air up at his bangs as he thought. "Who's your best friend?"
"Easy. John."
"Really? What about me?" Karkat said jokingly.
"Nah. Unfortunately, John's got you beat by a mile. We've known each other since we were just little kids. We were nearly inseparable when we were younger. We did everything together."
"Huh."
"Yeah," Dave said. After a beat of silence, he added, "We even dated for a few months when we were twelve."
"Really."
"Yeah. Don't tell him I said, but he's a pretty shitty kisser."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Maybe it was just 'cause he was twelve, but he was horrible. Never really knew what to do with his tongue."
Karkat giggled softly, covering his mouth with his hand. He looked over at Dave, who was grinning as well. He looked nice when he smiled, like he was genuine about whatever it was that had made him happy. It was especially great whenever he smiled at something Karkat said. It made him feel good, like he'd done something special.
"Truth or dare?" Dave asked once Karkat had gotten his giggles under control.
"Truth."
Dave was quiet for a moment. The grin he had on before fell a bit and came back as something different; something a little shyer and a little more timid. He glanced over at Karkat and then looked down, running a hand through his hair.
"You ever kissed anyone?" he asked softly.
Karkat was a little surprised by the question. It took him a moment for the words to register in his head, and then suddenly he felt his neck blush.
"Y-yeah," he said. "Of course."
"Really." It sounded like more of a statement than a question.
"Yes. I'm 16, what do you expect?"
" I know, I know," Dave said. "Just... I mean like, have you ever... kissed someone? Like really kissed them."
Karkat looked over at Dave, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. Dave himself looked weird too, like he was uncomfortable, almost. His eyes were more darting than usual and he kept glancing over at Karkat just to look away a second later.
Dave glanced at him again and sighed, this time looking ahead at the wall and not looking back. "I mean like... when it's someone you like. Not just some shitty dare or a game of fuckin' Spin the Bottle or whatever. I mean when it's someone you've been thinking about kissing for the longest time, someone you've been wanting to kiss for the longest time." Dave glanced over at Karkat for a split second. "Wh-when you... finally get the chance, and you know 'this is it,' and you're nervous, but you're too excited to care, and then you get to just be by them for a sec and smell their scent, the one you've been thinking about nonstop forever, and feel the heat wafting off of them and you can see into their eyes and it's the closest you've ever been to another person, and hell, you half didn't even think you could ever physically be this close to another person, but you are, and they're right there... And then they look at you and you look at them and you don't even have to say anything, the two of you just..." Dave trailed off, still staring at the wall. He had a sort of dazed, dreamy look on his face, like he was only half there. He looked over at Karkat. "Like that. Have you ever...?" His voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
Karkat shook his head a little bit. "No." His own voice was barely audible as well. "I don't think so."
"It has to be with someone you like," Dave murmured, his lips hardly moving. Karkat watched them as he spoke. They were just a little bit chapped from him licking them too much, like usual.
"I know," Karkat whispered, scarcely breathing.
The air in the room was almost deathly still, with neither of the two moving hardly an inch. Karkat was staring directly into Dave's bright crimson eyes, which were in turn trained on Karkat's mahogany ones. Karkat could feel his heartbeat all throughout his body, hard and fast and muffled beneath the silence of the room. Somehow, he'd ended up much closer to Dave than he'd been when he first sat down, and he was suddenly aware of how much it smelled like him. Like warm apples, and a bit of metal.
Dave's eyes moved a tiny bit, looking down at Karkat's lips. They lingered here for no more than three seconds, and when he returned his gaze to Karkat's he gently bit his own bottom lip.
No one would have been able to say which of the two moved first. They had both been slowly inching towards each other and it had barely taken any momentum at all for their lips to meet.
It tasted like alcohol, thin and medicinal. A mix of beer and whatever Dave had been drinking earlier. And the smoke from Karkat's cigarettes clung on like an aftertaste, like the last dying wisps of a fire. Flames and liquor. Equal parts burning and intoxicating.
Dave's lips were chapped, just a tiny bit, but they were also so much softer than Karkat had ever been able to imagine by himself. The whole of it was so much different than what Karkat had imagined, and it was much, much better. It was also much gentler than he'd been expecting, almost shy in nature. As if Dave were hesitant and unsure. It made his heart start beating faster, the sound loud and dull in his ears. This close, he could feel how hard Dave was blushing as well.
After a few seconds, Dave lifted his hand to gently cup Karkat's cheek, his fingers just barely ghosting over his warm skin. Another moment later, they pulled apart, still hardly an inch apart. They were breathing a little heavier, half from the lack of air and half from quiet awe. Karkat opened his eyes, which he hadn't even realized he'd shut, and looked at Dave, his entire face burning fiercely. Dave looked just as surprised. His eyes seemed softer now, more sincere--vulnerable, almost--even through the haze of alcohol. He let out a soft sigh as he looked at Karkat. They hesitantly moved closer together, their lips just barely bumping and sending tingles through Karkat. Slowly, their lips met again, this time more firmly.
The second time was different. It was much more assured, and when Dave let his palm lay flat against Karkat's cheek, it took on a much less innocent nature. Karkat shifted towards Dave, tilting his head to the side a bit. Dave moved his hand to cup the back of Karkat's head, pressing into him a little more. Slowly the two of them moved their lips against each other's, the tingling Karkat felt in his chest getting more intense and spreading across his body. He moved again, getting even closer to Dave and kissing him harder. Dave kissed him back for a few seconds of burning bliss before he pulled away a bit, his cheeks flushed.
"Do you..." he said softly.
Karkat nodded breathlessly, impatiently leaning forward so they could go back to kissing. Dave didn't hesitate either, tightening his grip on Karkat's jaw and kissing him back hungrily. All of a sudden, they both knew what they wanted and they were kissing desperately, clinging to each other and just barely unable to get enough of one another. Dave gently prodded his tongue against Karkat's mouth, and the other boy didn't hesitate to let him in. He nearly moaned out loud from the pleasurable shiver that ran down his spine when their tongues met. The longer it went on the more lustful Karkat felt as everything he'd been fantasizing about for the past month was finally coming true. It felt so good he could hardly stand it.
Dave suddenly moved his mouth to press an open mouthed kiss against Karkat's jaw. "You're so--" he breathed, kissing his way over to his ear and then down his neck. He went from kissing to sucking and licking, earning a stiff whimper from Karkat. He craned his neck to the side, giving Dave more room, and had to bite his lip to keep from making any louder noises.
Dave moved to a new spot, just under his ear and started back up with the sucking and kissing. After a little while Karkat felt a short sting as Dave hesitantly closed his teeth around a section of his skin.
"No," Karkat said breathlessly. "No marks. I can't--" He was cut off by Dave kissing him again, firmly and desperately, running his thumb over his cheek as he did. Karkat practically melted into his embrace, forgetting what he was going to say before. They kissed for a few more minutes until Karkat broke away again, resting his forehead against Dave's. They kissed once more, and then a second time before Karkat was able to speak.
"What-- What time is it?" he asked, still trying to catch his breath.
"I don't know. After 12, I think."
Karkat sighed softly, shaking his head a tiny bit. "I have to go. My brother's gonna kill me if I'm late."
Dave nodded a little, his chest still rising and falling. "Oh. Ok."
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble because of me. I have to leave soon too anyways."
Karkat nodded silently. He found Dave's hand and gently placed his on top of it. He looked at Dave, staring into his ruby red eyes. Just seeing them made his chest felt warm again and he had to resist the urge to kiss him again.
Karkat closed his eyes and looked down. "I'll... see you later."
"Bye," Dave said softly.
Karkat pulled away from Dave and stood up. He walked to the door and stepped outside, shutting it behind him. He leaned back against the door, holding his hand against his chest. He brushed his fingers over his lips. He closed his eyes, remembering the way Dave's lips had felt pressed against his, how soft they were, how warm he was, how gently he touched him. He let a small smile grace his lips for a moment before he pulled out his phone to text Cronus to come pick him up.
As Karkat walked through the house to the front door, he saw that the party was finally winding down. There were still a few people talking here and there and the occasional couple jammed into the corner, but for the most part people were sprawled out and unconscious on any available surface there was. He even had to step over a few people who'd passed out on the ground behind a couple of the couches. When he got outside, he saw Vriska sitting on the porch, her elbow on her knee and her chin in her one hand and a red plastic cup on the other. She was gently swirling the cup as she sat, staring out at the road silently. She noticed Karkat as he stood waiting for Cronus, and sat up a little bit.
"Going so soon?" she called after him.
"Yeah," Karkat said, looking at the ground. "I have a curfew."
"Oh. Ok." Vriska looked down in her cup and took a small drink. She looked back at Karkat just as Cronus pulled up. She held up her hand and waved. "Bye."
Karkat didn't reply to her as he climbed in the backseat. He was quiet the whole way home, and halfway there his eyelids started getting heavy and he had to struggle to keep himself awake long enough to walk through the front door. He flopped down on his bed when he got in, suddenly drained of energy. Almost as soon as he closed his eyes, he was fast asleep.
He dreamt of Dave.
*****
A/N: ahh hey guys!!
so this goddamn monster of a chapter is finally published, thank god ((its literally 9500 words long pray for me))
i feel,,, very good about this chapter. i like it alot i think its very well written and i hope yall will like it too :>
since i have this weird thing where i apparently have to """rest""" between chapters expect a little more time between now and chapter 13. hopefully no more than a week longer than usual ((but no promises))
i am indeed done with school((!!!!!!!!!)), i have been for about a week and a half, however i do have summer school during both june and july ((im taking speech pray for me)) so that might delay stuff a little bit. i dont expect it to though since im not as school not as long as during the school year.
even though i now have no idea how this story is really gonna get where i want it to be, im excited for the rest of it!!
alright
ok
see you next chapter.