Tongue Tied - Grouplove >>>>
Ariel's POV
After school, my only focus is Zoey. Her mom calls me at around 3:30.
"Ariel? Hi, it's Mrs. Chambers. Zoey's awake, and she's asking for you." she says. Some form of relief washes over me like a giant wave. "OK, I'll be at the hospital soon." I tell her, and then I hang up, shoving my phone into my back pocket and sprinting down the front steps of the school.
I weave in and out of people, trying to get through the large crowd of anxious students. I almost don't notice the large black truck pulling up. Almost.
The truck screeches to a stop,nearly hitting me. Although, I'm pretty sure they stopped so they wouldn't hit me.
I press my hand to my chest, trying to calm down my heart rate. "Where are you going in such a rush?" a voice asks me. I look up from the ground to see Luke, leaning across the passenger seat to talk to me out the window.
"Zoey's mom called. She said that Zoey woke up and was asking for me." I tell him. "You want a ride?" he asks. I hear the doors click as he unlocks them. "Sure." I say, slightly doubtful. But I need to get to the hospital as fast as possible.
I open the door and pull myself up into the truck. Luke drives off as soon as the door closes and before I can even buckle myself in. "Why are you driving so fast?" I ask, clicking the buckle in place and adjusting it.
"You seemed like you were in a hurry, and plus I want to make sure she's OK too." Luke says. Oh right, I nearly forgot. He's in love with her. I heard him tell her. Although she probably couldn't hear him, he still told her.
You are such an idiot, Ariel.
After a moment of silence, I bring up Alyssa. "How's Alyssa?" I ask, turning my head to look at him. At the sound of her name, his jaw clenches and he sucks in his breath. "Actually, can I tell you something?" he asks me. "Um, sure." I say.
Brace yourself, Ariel. By his tone of voice, the news doesn't sound very good.
"I don't know if Alyssa and I are working out." he states, obviously on edge about something. "What makes you think that?" I ask. "Well, she's just been annoying me more and more recently and we've gotten in a couple fights. I'm just not feeling it anymore, but I don't know how to tell her how I feel, ya know?" he says.
Oh boy, Luke. Do I ever.
"Um, no, not really." I lie. I shift in my seat, getting a little uncomfortable. Why is he telling me this stuff? Why not tell his best friends? He wouldn't tell me this kind of stuff if he didn't trust me. "Oh. Well, I don't know how to tell her that...I want to break up with her." he says. Wow. If Luke breaks up with Alyssa, then the hottest guy at Oceanside High will be available. Not that many people have a chance with him; we're graduating soon.
"You want to break up with her?" I confirm, sounding a bit too eager. Crap. He turns to look at me. "Yeah, that's what I just said. I mean, we're graduating soon and I've never been a big fan of long distnce relationships. And I'm not even sure I'd be willing to try with her." he says. "Yeah I know. I was just...confirming." I stutter, but I don't break eye contact. "Why? Are you excited that I'll be available?" he asks.
My stomach twists up in a tight knot and I feel myself blush heavily. He doesn't know anything, Ariel. He was just saying that because he's cocky and...and...and adorable.
No shut up.
"Ariel? You still there?" Luke asks, waving his hand in front of my face. I look up and see that were stopped at a red light, about half a mile away from the hospital. "Uh, yeah, I never left." I say with a smile. He smiles back and laughs a little. "You have a good sense of humor, babe." he says.
Oh he brought that back up again.
I don't say anything though. "Oh, no response to 'babe'? Does that mean you like it?" he asks. I try to fix something and he gets the complete wrong idea! "No, no Luke that absolutely does not mean that I like it." I say shaking my head. "Then why didn't you respond?" he asks, chuckling. "Because. I figured that if I didn't react then you would stop." I say matter of factly as Luke drives away from the now green light.
"Oh, so like reverse psychology?" he asks. "Um, kind of, but not really." I say laughing. He laughs too and then turns into the hospital parking lot. "Here we are." he says while unbuckling his seat belt. I unbuckle mine too and then slide out of his truck.
Luke and I get into the elevator and wait until it brings us to the fourth floor. The doors slide open, and we sidestep so a couple nurses can get into the elevator. I walk down the hallway, which seems noticeably shorter this afternoon than it did last night, and stop in front of her door. I wrap my hand around the door knob and open it slowly, in case Zoey is awake or has a headache.
I swing the door open slowly, revealing Zoey and her mom. Zoey is talking to her mom while holding her hand. She turns her head to look at me as the door creaks open. "Ariel!" she whisper yells. It must hurt her head to talk loud. Her curtains are drawn and her mother and her were speaking in hushed tones.
"Hi." I say and tip toe over to the other chair. "Hi Luke." she says to him, who follows me inside. "Hey. How are you feeling?" he asks her, pulling up and extra chair and sitting next to me. "A little better, I guess. I have a really bad headache. I was trying to figure out what happened yesterday, but you two were the only one's there." she says.
I swallow hard and shift in my seat. "I'll leave you three. Call me if you need anything, sweetheart." Mrs. Chambers says. She kisses Zoey's forehead, and then leaves the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. "Well, I went into the kitchen to make popcorn." I say. "I remember that." Zoey says, nodding her head slightly. I continue on.
"Then Luke came in for some reason and we talked for a little." I say. "Yeah, he told me he was going to see what was taking you so long even though you hadn't been gone for that long." she says with a small laugh. I laugh too, quietly though. Luke rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, but still has a smile on his face.
"After the popcorn was done, I brought it in to the living room. You were saying nonsense words that didn't make sense together. I was trying to figure out what was going on when your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you started convulsing." I say, holding back tears as the retched memory replays through my mind.
"Oh my gosh. I'm sorry that you guys had to see that." she says. "You have nothing to apologize for. You couldn't help it. It was because of your....tumor." I say, hesitating and pausing on the word tumor. "You can say it, Ariel. There's no way to avoid what I have." she says. "I'm so sorry." I say. "You have nothing to apologize for." she says with her normal smile that always lights up a room.
It makes me smile too. Luke and I stay there for a while, talking to Zoey about different things. She tells us that she's decided to do chemo therapy and starts as soon as possible. "Are you going to be able to go to prom?" I ask, even though its a stupid question. Who cares? She has a mental illness. Prom is just another thing she doesn't need to worry about.
"I think so, if I'm not feeling like absolute crap." she says, keeping her smile plastered to her face. "Really?" I ask. She nods her head and I squeal quietly. "Good. I didn't want to go by myself." I say. Luke is quiet the entire time we talk about prom. "Who are you taking to prom, Luke?" Zoey asks him after a while.
"Um, uh, I'm not really sure." he says. "What about Alyssa?" she asks, laughing like its an obvious answer. "Well, I've only told Ariel, but since you're sick and all..." Luke says joking around. I suck in my breath, expecting the room to get quiet, but Zoey laughs and says "Then you should definitely tell me."
"I told Ariel on the way over there that I was thinking about breaking up with Alyssa." he says, all humor leaving his voice. "Oh, I'm sorry that its not working out." she says, obviously sympathizing with him. "I am actually thinking about asking someone though, once I break up with Alyssa." he says. Its kind of awkward when Luke talks about breaking up with Alyssa. He says it like its no big deal, when it kind of is.
I'm brought back to the conversation when Zoey asks "Who?" She sits up a little and stares at Luke. He shifts in his chair and laughs. "Yeah, I've told you enough for one day." Luke says, sitting up in his chair.
I feel sick, watching the two of them flirt. Luke doesn't know that I know he told Zoey about his feelings for her, and Zoey doesn't know that Luke is in love with her. Can he just ask her already? It's making my stomach hurt.
"I have to step out for a second." I say. "Are you alright?" Zoey asks. How thoughtful of her. She has brain cancer and she's asking me if I'm OK. Its making me mad that she's being so nice. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just need some fresh air." I say. She nods and I leave the room. Mrs. Chambers isn't around, so I figure she went down to the cafeteria or something. I walk down the hallway and to the right, back to the elevators.
I get in when the doors open and close them before anyone else can get on. I need to be alone right now. My feelings for Luke are pushing against the surface, and I'm afraid that if I was around him for any longer they might come out. And I cannot let that happen. Not yet, anyway.
And who was he thinking about asking to prom?
Don't be stupid Ariel. Its Zoey. He just didn't say that because that's not how he wanted to ask her, probably. In fact, he's probably asking her right now, and she probably said yes and then he probably leaned in and kissed her. If I were to go back in that room right now, they'd probably be full on making out.
I feel tears spring to my eyes, and this time, I don't hold them back. I let them flow freely, trying to cover up my sobs. I lean against the wall and bend over slightly, covering my face with my hands. I just need to let myself go for, like, two minutes. I need to get out the tears I've been holding in for so long. The elevator doors open, and thank God there's nobody ready to get on. I run down the corridor and out the door. I stand outside the hospital, letting myself cry more even though my two minutes is already up.
I don't want to sit on the ground in front of the hospital, there are cars and worried people walking everywhere. So I hold back my tears for a moment to find a tree beside the hospital. I take deep breaths as I walk over to it and sit down at the base, pulling my legs up to my chest. I can stay here for a few minutes, and then go back inside. To Zoey. And Luke.
But I don't really want to talk to either of them right now. In fact, if I wasn't miles away from my house, I would walk home. Text Luke that I was feeling sick so I just went home. But I can't. I leave when he leaves. I wipe my eyes, relieved that I couldn't find my normal mascara this morning and decided to use waterproof.
Hopefully nothing smudged because then I would get a nonstop wave of worried questions from Zoey on why I was crying and what's wrong when she's the one with the brain tumor. That's Zoey, always looking out for others. Luke doesn't deserve her. She deserves someone who won't stomp all over her heart when they get bored. She deserves someone who will make her laugh and smile and feel good about herself. That person is not Luke. I can guarantee that.
If he's so bad, then why do I find myself attracted to him? Maybe I'm just telling myself all those bad things about Luke so Zoey won't want him and then I can have him to myself. How selfish, Ariel. That's what you are. A selfish, spoiled brat. Your best friend has brain cancer and your out here crying because the boy you like likes someone else. How pathetic. How weak. How selfish.
The voice in the back of my head is right. I am pathetic, weak and selfish. I need to be with Zoey right now, and not crying over some stupid guy. If anyone deserves to cry, its Zoey, and I haven't seen her really cry about this once.
I stand up, brush off the back of my pants to get rid of any dirt or leaves, and then walk back inside the hospital. I stop in a bathroom near the entrance to make sure I don't have tear stains. I splash some cool water on my face and then quickly comb through my hair with my fingers. I make my way back upstairs to the fourth floor, and soon enough, I'm standing outside of Zoey's door, my fingers just inches away from the doorknob.
I push it open and see Zoey asleep in her bed and Luke laid back in his chair, watching her.
"Watching people while they sleep? That's kind of creepy." I say quietly, taking a seat next to him. He looks up from Zoey, a stunned expression on his face, like he doesn't know what just happened or he can't comprehend anything I've just said. The expression goes away as I slide into the roughly - carpeted chair next to his and rest my head on my hand.
"Oh, yeah, I'm going all Edward Cullen on her." he says, making me laugh. I try to keep it quiet, for Zoey's sake. "When did she fall asleep?" I ask, looking at her and noticing how peaceful she looks. Like there is no pain. Maybe she doesn't feel any pain when she sleeps. That's good.
"Like, ten minutes after you left. We were just talking, and her meds must have kicked in. She started drifting and was trying to stay awake, for my sake I guess, but I told her it was OK. Then she was out. Like, out cold." he says, laughing a little at the end. I nod.
"What were you guys talking about?" I ask.
"Stuff." he says.
Oh perfect, they were talking about prom.
"Like what kind of stuff?" I ask, pretending to be intrigued.
"You." he says.
Um what.
"Me?" I ask. "Yeah, you. Ariel Lewis. The one and only." he says. "Shut up." I say and smack his arm. "Really, what were you talking about?" I ask. "You got a strong punch, babe." he says, rubbing his arm and pretending like that actually hurt. "I'm gonna ignore the fact that you just called me babe if you tell me what you were really talking about." I say, holding up my hand in position to smack him again if he doesn't tell me.
"Ok ok!" he says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I wasn't lying. We were talking about you, for the most part." he says. "What were you saying?" I ask. "That," he starts, standing up. "is for me and Zoey to know, and for you to never find out." he says winking.
I knew that no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I fake-punched him, he wouldn't give it up, or he would lie to me, so I dropped it. "My mom wants me home for dinner, and I can't leave you here, so..." Luke says. I would rather stay with Zoey until visiting hours are over, but I don't want to get Luke in trouble. "OK. Just let me say goodbye to Zoey." I say. I stand up and give her a small hug. She doesn't wake up.
"Bye Zoey. I'll be back tomorrow." I whisper. She stirs a little, so we leave before she wakes up. Her mom is walking back up the hallway with some snacks. "Oh, are you two leaving?" she asks. "Yeah, Luke needs to be home for dinner." I say. "Oh, OK. Have a nice night, Ariel. Luke, the same to you." she says. She nods to us and gives us a warm, friendly smile, then goes back inside Zoey's room.
We leave the hospital, actually talking this time. Luke cracks a few jokes, and I laugh for real. Nothing about me is fake when I'm talking to him. My smile, my laugh, the light I'm sure is in my eyes. He texts his mom before he gets in the car that he's dropping me off first, and then hops in alongside me.
The car comes alive and he pulls out of the parking lot. "You're a very interesting person to talk to." he says suddenly, breaking the five second silence between us. "You're not so bad yourself." I say.
And this time, I'm actually telling the truth.