"You managed to convince yourself you were one step ahead when you were always two steps behind."- Know You See Me
Growing up with an older sister as a sibling, I'm used to feeling like no one understands me. I've lived my life that way. But right now I feel like all that loneliness is being shoved at me at once.
There she is, sitting like nothing's wrong, I think, glancing to Alice as she leans back in the passenger seat, like she hasn't betrayed me.
She even switched seats with Guad so she could stay away from me.
Quiet sobs come from Diana's seat, but I can't bear to look in her direction.
Bob's glancing at me, his striking blue eyes like one of those sniper lights. The ones that shine on the victims just before they're shot.
"I can't believe you're putting the squad at risk, Perry," he attacks viciously.
At first I don't reply. He has no right to judge me. He never loved his parents. He's never felt the sorrow I have.
A couple seconds later I reply. "I hope we didn't blow what was probably our only shot at getting them back!" My voice echoes throughout the van. There's no HEXA megaphone to cover my yells now, but the screams of my parents seem to follow me, even know when they're long gone.
Jungle trees whip past us and Janis hitches her breath as she shifts gears around a corner. Our road is winding around the side of a mountain and jungles lie deep below us.
A blare erupts around us as a small truck speeds on the wrong side of the road to pass us. Within seconds they make another corner and it's only us alone on this small trail again.
Finally Bob speaks, this time in a kinder and pathetic tone. "Perry, you have to understand. Those weren't your parents and Angelina. They were tricking us and if we had gone with them HEXA would be in control of us."
I cross my arms and legs, keeping my glare steady. I haven't used this strategy since Diana stole my leapfrog over a dozen years ago.
"I've been subject to their experiments before. Trust me, I'm not sure what HEXA wants with us, but it can't be good," Bob explains. He leans back on his chair, facing me, and runs a hand through his unruly hair.
Does he think he can try to understand me? When he has no context? He doesn't know if HEXA was lying. My parents were right there, screaming. And even if they did take me away at least I'd be able to see my parents and set them free. That's something he'll never understand.
"Bob," I mutter. Clearing my throat, I sit up straight. "I though my parents were alive for one second. You don't understand that at all. But that thought was the greatest one I've had in months." Even more than the one that lead you to kiss Alice? Some unknown part of my brain asks.
With an expression of pity, Alice turns around and watches us. My heart is being torn. How can she have pity? She tried with Bob to keep me from my parents.
Bob opens his mouth to say something but closes it a second later.
"That's what I thought," I snap.
"Perry, stop!" Cries Diana.
"Why should I? Friends are supposed to open up to each other aren't they?" I continue. Why aren't you going this? This isn't you.
Clearing her throat, Alice says, "This is what HEXA tries to do, Perry. Pin us against each other so we have no chance in beating them." I stare her right in the eyes and glare as if it can hurt her. But when I'm feeling my heart shatter I know the only person it's hurting is me.
Alice continues: "They have eyes everywhere. Ears everywhere." Bob glances to the ground. "So much power and only if we are united will be able to... escape them."
Why did she hesitate? Does she think I want any more to do with HEXA? As soon as I get back to California I'm finding my parents and leaving. With a shaky breath, I repeat "leaving," to myself. Leaving Alice.
I would never dream to leave Alice, I decide. But for whatever reason I decide to maintain my resolve.
Without a word, I wrap myself in my letter jacket, stained with mud, sand, and fruits of the jungle. Sighing in my mind, I cozy up to the side of the van and let myself sink into the only place I'm away from this hell: sleep.