I think it’s a fair comment to say that my daily routine has become fairly strange as of late. Oh and when I say fairly strange I mean my life has been turned completely upside down so much so that I’m not even sure if the past couple days have been anything more than a dream. No sorry not dream, nightmare.
I spend a lot of time staying up to ridiculous hours so Ollie and I can actually converse nowadays which means I am permanently at the socialisation level of a zombie. I communicate through a series of grunts and moans as I am too tired to formulate words and my work is constantly riddled with typos as I can barely keep my eyes open to read the words I’m writing. I also spend a lot of time borrowing Mandy’s magazines to see if I can get any information on Ollie, what he’s doing, the film, his co-stars and any other information which is even ever so slightly linked to Ollie because I can’t ask him myself; I don’t want him to know I’m worrying. Oh and then there’s the crying I have made my way through an entire box of tissues in less than a couple of days. As you can see I am teetering on the verge of insanity, (not that I was all together sane to begin with…)
Anyway Emmie, Kate and Mandy have decided between themselves that enough is enough and they are coming around in the attempt to drag me back into the world of the living and sane. All I can say is good luck to them because believe me I have tried to no avail. In my defence I have at least made an effort. I’ve taken the snacks to the extreme for starters; my living room is covered in bowls of popcorn, chocolate, crisps and sweets. I have also piled my entire DVD collection by the TV, all lined up and ready to go next to the millions of blankets and cushions I have located and dragged down the stairs. So there, I’ve at least made an effort.
“Isabelle Emerson we are here to cheer you up!” Emmie suddenly calls from the corridor. They didn’t even knock before entering my house. I walk out from the living room to see Kate, Mandy and Emmie marching into my house armed with snacks galore. I think we’re going to end up eating our body weight in snacks… so much for the wedding diet. “Who needs Ollie when you have us,” adds Kate while the three of them huddle me into the lounge and sit me down. “Here you go,” Mandy says discreetly handing me a celebrity magazine, while Kate and Emmie are distracted deciding on a DVD, as if it is some illicit drug deal. You see Emmie and Kate don’t agree with my obsessive reading on Ollie related subjects so dealings like these must be made in secret. “Thanks,” I smile while immediately tearing to the contents section and scanning desperately for Ollie’s name. He isn’t mentioned but Melody Bloom is. I flick to the page of her mention and a big glossy photo of her shines out at me. Ollie has mentioned her a couple of times. Melody is Ollie’s American co-star and according to this article she is the next Hollywood starlet. But here’s the really comforting thing she’s known for being one of Hollywood’s sexiest women and she’s acting in a romantic comedy with my fiancé… Fantastic. I look at her picture again this time scrutinizing her appearance. She’s one of those girls that guys find really attractive but girls take one look and can’t help but think ‘she looks like a complete bitch.’ Everything about her from her cold ice grey eyes to her infuriating pout just screams bitchiness. “Mandy would you quit giving Izzie those ridiculous magazines,” Emmie instructs suddenly taking note of the magazine and trying to rip it out of my grasp but I duck and weave just in time. “Have you guys ever heard of Melody Bloom?” I ask ignoring Emmie’s attempts to remove the magazine from my grasp. Kate and Emmie look at me blankly but Mandy nods enthusiastically. “You mean the actress? She was in that magazine loads last year she ran off with her last co-star despite the fact he was married,” Mandy says without thinking. I’m pretty sure my face goes ghostly grey as Emmie and Kate glare at Mandy furiously. “Sorry…?” Mandy offers but Emmie’s continuous glares indicate that she is still less than impressed. “Great now she’s going to obsess,” Kate sighs.
“I am not,” I retort indignantly and I mean it. Melody Bloom does not worry me at all. Fact. Definite, solid, unquestionable fact. I am not obsessing.
Okay I lied. I can’t stop thinking about the fact my future husband’s leading lady is a known home-wrecker. Just my luck. “Hey Mandy,” I whisper halfway through a film. I haven’t even been watching it. My eyes are glazed over with uninterested indifference while inside my mind is racing in blind panic. The word ‘home-wrecker’ and the phrase ‘stay away from my husband’ are appearing quite often in my internal rant. “What?” she replies in a hushed tone. “About Melody… not that I’m obsessing or anything, but… what exactly happened with the whole marriage wrecking thing?” I ask trying my best to sound nonchalant and not at all freaking out inside. “Nothing, just forget about it,” Mandy answers.
“Is she asking about that actress?” Kate asks from the other side of the room.
“No,” I lie immediately.
“Yes she is,” Mandy replies truthfully straight after ignoring my pleading looks.
“Izzie everything is fine stop fussing,” Emmie instructs providing an end to our conversation. So I return to my half-hearted attempt to watch the film.
I honestly did try to forget about Melody. I tried really hard… but it didn’t work, at all. My anxiety over Ollie’s new co-star is clearly showing on the outside because as I walk passed Mandy’s desk the next day at work she takes one look at me and sighs. “You’re not still fussing over the co-star thing are you?” she asks exasperatedly.
“How on earth did you…,” I begin to ask.
“You’re a happy person and you love your job so you normally walk into work skipping along without a care in the world not shuffling along biting your lip with your eyebrows furrowed with worry,” Mandy explains.
“Oh… Hey Mandy, you don’t think Ollie would run off with this woman do you?” I ask.
“Yes I do I think he’s making love to her as we speak,” Mandy says with a dead pan expression. I give her a disapproving look. “Thanks Mandy,” I mutter sarcastically.
“Well if you ask stupid questions you’ll get stupid answers,” she explains.
“So you don’t think he would?” I ask again.
“NO!” she shouts. As per usual when Mandy and I have our early morning conversations a senior employee flashes both of us a look of reproach as Mandy’s exclamation echoes through reception. “Sorry,” Mandy whispers to them wincing in realisation of how loud she had shouted. “We should really go do some work or else both our asses are going to get fired,” I say while quickly leaving Mandy’s desk as she whips around to face her computer and pretends to be doing something very important but I can see she’s just switched on solitaire.
The only thing that stopped me going completely and utterly crazy all day is knowing that Ollie is going to call tonight. I spent a lot of time pacing forward and backwards by the phone so much so that I think I have worn the carpet down. Finally the phone rings and I immediately snatch it up. “Ollie?” I ask down the receiver.
“Izzie is that you?” Ollie asks. Just hearing him speak calms my racing heart allowing me to think clearly for the first time all day. “Yeah,” I answer in a sigh of relief.
“It’s good to hear you speak, how pathetic does that make me sound?” he asks.
“Very,” I joke.
“Thanks Izzie,” he mutters sarcastically. “It’s good to know you miss me too,” he adds.
“So how is it going over there?” I ask.
“Great, great weather, great food, great film… I’m really excited about this film actually…” he is just about to say something more but I can’t help myself. It is like a natural impulse. “How are the people on the set,” I immediately blurt out. He begins to launch into a lengthy description of how the people there are so lovely and a good future wife would have listened intently taking in every detail but all I could think was ‘mention Melody, mention Melody, mention Melody.’ “Oh and the director is hilarious. You really have to meet him Iz…,”
“Are you getting on with your co-star,” I suddenly interrupt again desperate to get to the point.
“I haven’t really seen much of Melody to be honest. Of course I act my scenes with her but she’s usually busy creating publicity so I've never actually had a proper conversation with her. She seems nice enough though,” Ollie replies. There see he doesn’t even like her that much so why have I spent the last 24 hours turning into a crazed lunatic. I take a deep breath and finally let the fear and worry go. Of course Melody isn’t going to steal away my fiancé. Taking another deep breath I snap into normality and instead of interrogating Ollie I actually have a conversation with him. I’m putting my panic over Melody down to temporary insanity due to the stress of being apart from Ollie for such a long time. I’m absolutely fine now…
… Except I’m not. Despite the fact I have just talked to Ollie for about an hour non stop and feel on top of the world in less than five minutes after hanging up the phone I find myself at the computer and typing the words ‘Melody Bloom marriage wrecker’ into google in a mindless trance. I press enter and within seconds hundreds of sites ready to tell me the horrible truth ping onto my screen. I allow the mouse to hover over the first link seriously considering how ridiculous and juvenile this whole thing is. But I click the link anyway and after reading just the first couple of lines I suddenly realise that it is not safe to leave Ollie alone with this woman. Not just Ollie, it’s not safe to leave any man in a happy relationship alone with Melody Bloom the serial marriage killer…