I came downstairs Friday night ready to go on whatever adventure DeAndre and the boys were dragging me on. The other boys were excited and had teased that I would probably punk out, letting me know I was in for something I would not forget.
It was Friday and I'd only made up with the boys Monday, yet it hadn't taken long for things to fall into place. One minute I couldn't stand guys like Tremaine, the next I couldn't stop laughing with him in class. I wasn't okay with the way he chewed through girls, but I was getting used to him, enough to where we could have full fledge conversations by ourselves or on the phone.
People definitely noticed that there was a new edition to the Ballas' lunch table and entourage. Guys looked at us strangely and a lot of girls shared the same sentiment that Troiann and I were just a couple of kept jump-offs.
The boys were oblivious, lost in their own world of playing ball and having fun. I tried to be just as indifferent, but I could still feel myself being watched whenever I was with the boys.
I didn't let the fact faze me or ruin my mood as I headed for the den where my father and Loraine were watching TV.
My father was sitting back in his chair and enjoying a cold beer while Loraine sat beside him in her own chair grading papers.
My father turned, noticing me. He checked the clock on the wall and looked back to me. "Where are you going dressed like that?"
I briefly glanced down at the black polka dotted mini dress I was wearing. The small hint of cleavage and the fact that the dress hugged my body must've alarmed my father. "I'm just going out with Troiann and the guys."
"Oh— Wait, what guys?"
So I hadn't exactly told my father that I was now best buds with the Ballas' Club, I hadn't ever brought boys up period, but now I knew he was that type of father. The no-boys-allowed type of father figure.
"Just a few guys from school, they're on the sports teams and they do a lot of volunteer work around school."
My father slit his eyes. "And you're going out like that?"
I shrugged innocently. "What's wrong with it? Loraine picked it out."
Loraine glanced up from her papers and looked to my father. "She looks cute, Mack, let her be."
My father visibly pouted. "Have you eaten today, Cree? You're getting a little on the skinny side."
I gritted my teeth. There was nothing "skinny" about me. I wasn't fat or even thick, but I wasn't a size two or could pass for anorexic. My father was just saying that because he was about to get on me about dancing again. "Yes, Dad, I ate a whole dinner at work, fried chicken oughta fatten me up."
He smirked. "How much dancing did you do this week? I think it's been enough. You don't want to overexert yourself."
Loraine sighed and put her papers aside. "Mack, please, let her have her fun. She doesn't dance too much, she spends just as much time at school, work and with Troiann as she does dancing."
Loraine was straight up going for best friend at the moment. Before it would've bothered me, now it was something I didn't mind so much. She just wanted to be close to me, to bond and move forward and try. So why not?
My father didn't get a chance to reply before the doorbell rang, causing my stomach to drop.
Here it goes.
My father stood and set his beer aside. "Must be the boys."
Frowning, I had no choice but to follow him out of the room and over to the front door.
To make matters worse, only DeAndre, Tremaine and Chris had shown up. There was no way my father was letting me out of the house with a gang of boys drenching in a few tattoos, muscles and gorgeous grins that sent panties dropping.
"Hello, Mr. Jacobs," DeAndre took the initiative to speak first as he stepped forward to shake my father's hand.
My father just stared at DeAndre's outstretched hand before reaching out and shaking it.
Tremaine, being the knucklehead that he was, reached out and did a little handshake with my father before pulling him into a hug in that way that guys often did.
He looked around our foyer, observing Loraine's décor and the overall layout. "Nice place, Cree."
My father looked back to me before turning to the boys and pocketing his hands. "So."
I had to hand it to the Ballas, none of them looked intimidated.
"Did you all decide to wear black and not tell this one?" my father asked as he noted that only Chris stood sporting a graphic white tee and white jeans and Lebrons, while the rest of us wore black.
Tremaine grinned. Here it comes. "Nah, we just like to remind him that he's not one of us."
DeAndre snickered and that made me laugh as well, easing up my nerves.
Chris rolled his eyes. "Black people."
Yet he stood in a room full of us. Gotta love Chris Jenkins.
I went and stood beside Tremaine, feeling comfortable. "So, we'll just be going, Dad, we won't be out long," I looked over to DeAndre, "right?"
He nodded. "Right, we're just seeing a movie and grabbing a bite to eat or something, sir."
My father wasn't convinced. "Where's Troiann?"
Not missing a beat, DeAndre said, "She's meeting us there, she carpooled with some other friends of ours."
My father loved Troiann and having some peace of mind that she would be with me, he gradually eased up. "Well, I guess I'll let you go. Don't be out too late, Cree."
I nodded. "Yes, Dad."
I followed the boys outside to where there was an all black Escalade sitting in front of my house.
DeAndre stepped out in front of us and started to head towards the driver's side.
"So what movie are we going to see?" I asked curiously.
Tremaine and Chris laughed and I suddenly caught on to the lie that DeAndre had told my father.
I stopped in my tracks. "What?"
DeAndre shook his head. "We're not going to a movie, Cree. We've got more exciting things to do to get you initiated."
If he had lied about that, where was Troy?
"And Troiann?"
He shrugged. "Take a wild guess where she is."
With Marcus absent, there was no guessing at all where my best friend was.
"Or who she's under," Tremaine joked.
None of it was funny to me and I was starting to get irritated that DeAndre had lied and hadn't told me all week about his plans for the evening.
"Where are we going?" I demanded to know.
DeAndre shook his head. "I'm not telling, just get in and find out."
"No."
He paused, coming back around the car and stopping in front of me. He looked from my black flats all the way up to my eyes, arching an eyebrow. "No?"
"I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on."
For a moment his upper lip twitched and he barely covered his scowl. "Cree, stop being a pain in the ass and just get in the car."
I stood my ground. "No."
DeAndre stared at me as I stared at him, both of us unwavering.
It wasn't until Tremaine came over, placing his hands on my shoulders that I pulled away from our intense stare down.
"Before you two start fuckin' on your lawn—"
I took a moment to laugh dryly at Tremaine's comment and DeAndre did the same.
"He could never," I muttered.
DeAndre rolled his eyes. "Sure, Cree."
His sarcasm ate at me. He knew it and so did everyone else, he couldn't have me. I sneered at him, feeling haughty. "You couldn't get in this castle if you had the key."
DeAndre eyed my body, shaking his head as he checked the time on his fancy watch. "Cree, I could own that castle."
The way he said it, so laidback and at ease, as if it were no big deal and he hadn't put much thought in it before he said it, like it was a simple fact, made me unable to respond right away.
It was like he was saying if he wanted to, he could've pursued and had me. As if he weren't really interested in such a task.
I should've been offended that he saw me as easy enough to possess, but instead I reveled in the realization that he at least wasn't up to no good and wasn't trying to get with me. We really were just trying to be friends and for that I was willing to throw him a bone.
Tremaine came between us, gripping my shoulders and giving me his attempt at a charming smile. "Cree, trust me, I wouldn't let Dre take you anywhere you couldn't handle. We cool, right?"
I nodded.
"So just get in and have some fun tonight, we only wanna celebrate, okay?"
For some reason—probably due to all the talking we'd done in class and out of it since Monday, I found myself able to trust Tremaine. He was transparent with me and didn't try to hide who he was.
"Okay," I said, giving in.
DeAndre went and got in the driver's seat and we all climbed into the Escalade. My nerves were still jumpy as to what lay ahead for the evening, but I allowed myself to trust Tremaine on the idea of the boys not doing anything that I couldn't handle.
But it all left me wondering just what could I handle?
Nearly half an hour later and a few too many sleazy rap songs and TMI stories from Tremaine, we had arrived at our destination. Some building that housed several other vehicles in its parking lot.
We got out of the Escalade and the boys circled around me before we could advance toward the building.
"It's a hookah bar," Tremaine explained. "And before we go for the first half of our evening, we gotta break you in."
Why didn't I like the sound of that?
"Break me in?" I repeated, nervous.
They all nodded as Chris reached into his pocket. He furnished a small pack of cigars and handed one out to each of us.
DeAndre took the lead and lit each of our cigars and stood back, looking at me. "We gotta break in our first ballette."
I giggled at the phrase. "Ballette?"
DeAndre shrugged. "What else will we call you?"
I wasn't a Balla so I suppose it fit. It was still a little weird but I let it go as I did something completely lame. I curtsied, making the boys laugh before we all held a semi toast with our cigars before going and taking a drag.
I wasn't a smoker so when I started to choke and cough the boys instantly laughed at my failure.
Tremaine reached out and patted my back. "I guess you don't own no Trukfit."
I got the reference loud and clear and for that I glared at Tremaine.
He laughed it off and took another drag of his cigar. "Just kidding, Cree."
The boys enjoyed their cigars for a few more moments before stubbing theirs out and tossing them in the trash. I would've done the same but I wanted to keep mine and be all corny and sentimental. I'd only been friends with Troiann and now here I was joining links with the Ballas' Club and it felt special that they were inducting me in and deeming me a "Ballette" in the process.
The hookah bar was small and intimate and groups of friends all sat around on couches sharing a hookah. The room was dim and the music was okay, just pop-rappers like B.o.B playing loudly. A few blondes were up and dancing to the song, embarrassing themselves as they were out of sync. There was a fruity smell in the atmosphere, making me feel better about smoking from a hookah rather than the foul cigar Chris had given me.
We looked like a group of college kids, so when Tremaine was carded and handed over his fake ID, it was no hassle. I sat in awe watching the boys decide on what kind of hookah to get.
I shared a chair with Tremaine and watched as the boys all gathered hoses and prepared to take their first hits.
"Don't inhale too much, you'll get lightheaded," DeAndre instructed.
I nodded and took a small drag from my own hose, much more pleased with strawberry flavored tobacco than the cigar.
The boys all settled down and soon I became acclimated with the hookah and the scene around me.
Though I hoped no one from our school was around, it was just what I needed, to be seen out with three Ballas and no Troiann to back me up.
"Why you keep looking around?" Tremaine asked, placing his hand on my knee to get my attention.
I turned back to my group. "Just making sure no one from school is here. A lot of girls think I'm your personal groupie now and I just don't want this to cause any more drama."
Tremaine smirked, as did the other boys. "Man, tell them hating ass bitches to eat a dick, and if they need one—"
"We get it, Trey," I said as I slowly relaxed.
It seemed safe to say that the Ballas were my friends.
The thought made me laugh. "This is so weird, we're so different and yet here we are."
Tremaine shrugged and threw an arm around me. "Not really. Basketball's just full of skinny ass dudes running back and forth chasing a ball and yet I support these guys," he gestured to Chris and DeAndre, "it's not so bad."
DeAndre rolled his eyes, turning to me. "And football is a bunch of dudes who enjoy being tackled by other dudes, but we accept Tremaine and Marc for who they are."
Tremaine made an impressive muscle and I admired how his tattoos complimented it. "It would take a pretty big dude to pin me down."
"Is that what you want, Trey?" DeAndre teased, causing us all to laugh.
"Is it true you guys don't cut your hair for most of season?" I asked.
Tremaine nodded. "Only when the season starts to get really good and we win a lot. Now Chris doesn't wash his hair, but he be on some white boy shit with that."
I looked to Chris feeling sorry that he was repeatedly the odd one out. "You shouldn't let them pick on you, you know."
He shrugged as if it were nothing. "It's whatever, it's all jokes. I know at the end of the day no one cares what color I am because I don't look at them and see black guys, I see my brothers and best friends."
Awe.
DeAndre and Tremaine both made comments to taunt Chris for his remark and things went back to normal.
"Yo, when you gone finish my CD?" Tremaine asked me.
"What CD?" DeAndre poked in on our conversation.
"Troiann says Cree makes good mixed CDs and I've been waiting for her to hook me up."
I looked to DeAndre and made a face. "He wants me to pick a set of slow songs and I have no problem doing it, I just feel like an accomplice when it comes to the bullshit he's going to say to the poor girls he's going to seduce with the CD."
Tremaine elbowed me. "Just mind your business and make the CD, Cree."
DeAndre looked thoughtful for a moment. "Make me a CD sometime?"
I shrugged. "Sure, whatever you want."
"Nah, you pick the songs, whatever you think fits."
I smiled and liked his trusting in me to make him a good mix. "Sure."
A couple of girls walked by and Tremaine wasn't shy to admire them.
"Are you guys breast men or booty men?" I asked curiously as I watched some other guys check out the attractive duo.
Tremaine and Chris looked at each other simultaneously and nodded, confirming some unspoken code before turning to me and saying, "Booty."
I looked to DeAndre. "You?"
He shrugged. "I prefer proportion, can't have one without the other."
I liked his answer; it was fair to girls who hadn't big asses or amazing breasts.
I sat back and took another drag from the hose, blowing smoke towards the ceiling. I was enjoying myself and the hookah bar, and for a lack of greater words, I felt cool. "This wasn't so bad as initiation."
Tremaine chuckled as he reached into his pockets. "This is only the first part, wait 'til you see what else Dre had in mind." He reached out and handed me a roll of twenties, and then he reached into his pocket and pulled out another thick wad.
I looked at the money, not sure what was happening. "What is this for? A tip?"
Chris laughed. "Not for here."
I looked at all the boys, hoping someone would clue me in. "I don't get it."
Tremaine slapped my back, too hard, causing it to sting. "We're going to Inferno."
Why had that name sounded familiar?
And then it hit me. It was a strip club, the same strip club I'd heard some guys at work talk about, the same strip club the Ballas brought up. A strip club as in topless dancers and—God forbid—possibly bottomless dancers as well.
Turning to DeAndre I saw that he appeared expressionless as he sat watching me.
I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Screw you, DeAndre."
I couldn't have gotten out of the hookah bar quick enough. We weren't in Akron anymore, so getting home wouldn't be easy but I had a cell phone and a means to call—
An arm wrapped around my waist and before I could turn around I found my back meeting the wall of the building and my coming face to face with DeAndre as he crowded all of my space.
I pushed him away with a hard shove. "Don't touch me."
He held his hands up. "I just came to sort this out."
"Sort this out? You're trying to take me to a strip club. Do I look like one of the boys to you?"
He opened his mouth.
"Don't answer that!"
DeAndre sighed, looking around our scenery and remaining calm. He reached into his jeans and pulled out something and handed it over. "Here. I found it when I was in my dad's office."
I was still angry but I took what he handed me, finding that it was a photo. It was of a smiling toddler being held in someone's lap, by the red fingernails I could tell it was a woman.
"Is this you?"
DeAndre nodded. "You said we didn't smile a lot when we were young and I found that. Thought I'd show you that we did smile."
Curiosity got the better of me and I came out and asked. "Is this your mother?"
He shrugged. "Could be, I don't know."
It bothered me that he stood before me so indifferent about the fact that he possessed a picture of his mother. The only picture of his mother it seemed. Didn't he care? Wasn't he curious to know what the woman who abandoned him looked like? Sure the photo only showed her from the waist down, but it was close, a step in the right direction.
But then I realized he was distracting me from the reason why I'd stormed out of the bar in the first place.
I jabbed him in the chest with the photo. "I hate you right now."
DeAndre got a goofy grin on his face as he poked me. "I'm smiling."
Against my anger I ended up loosening up and laughing at his silly side. He was infuriating.
"Come on, Cree, you can handle a strip club. It'll be fun."
My idea of fun did not involve nude women. "How will we get in?" A hookah bar was one thing but a strip club?
"Chris has connects."
This was something I just did not want to do. "Do they... Do they show everything?"
DeAndre smiled and I cringed. "Tremaine wishes. Just titties, Cree, you can handle it, trust me."
His words made me look down at my own chest. "Seeing my breasts are one thing, but these are other people's."
"But we can't see your breasts, hence why the strip club is fun."
I snapped up, glaring at him. "And you never will see my breasts."
He lifted a brow, a mixture of tedium and arrogance taking his face. "Anytime, anywhere, Cree, it would be that easy."
It was his way of taunting me, telling me I wouldn't be that hard to possess.
There was just no way I could keep letting him get the upper hand. I had to think of something and Troiann came to mind, her and her sassy wit and great comebacks.
"Boy please, I could have you whipped like that." For emphasis I snapped my fingers, cocking my head and doing my own take at cocky.
DeAndre didn't blink. He tilted his head to the side, studying me. "Is that a challenge, Cree?"
My throat swelled. Shit, how did he keep doing that?
It wasn't a challenge. I was a virgin talking big; I hadn't a clue about doing things to make boys crazy or to have them crawling back. If either of us was going to get whipped, it would be me. DeAndre was a pro; he knew what he was doing when he looked at girls, talked to girls and touched girls. The only thing I had going for me was the fact that I wasn't attracted to him and felt repulsion at the idea of him touching me.
"Just fuck already." Snickering caused DeAndre and me to tear away from each other and look over at Tremaine as he stood with Chris.
DeAndre backed away from me. "It's already been established. 'I can't have her.' "
He was mocking me and I hadn't the strength to say anything back.
"Whatever, let's just go to the stupid strip club," I mumbled.
"Yes!" Tremaine came and handed me the money.
I started to follow behind Tremaine, but then I felt DeAndre catch my hand.
"Wait," he spoke up.
We all turned and faced him.
He stared at me, and soon shook his head. "Ay, Chris." He tossed Chris his car keys. "You and Trey hit the club, Cree and I'll do something else. We'll text you when we're done."
Chris lifted a brow. "But she just said—"
"The lady doesn't want to go." DeAndre brought his attention to me, regarding me impassively. "Do you?"
"I-it's okay," I said.
He shook his head. "We'll meet you guys later."
Tremaine made a face, but didn't argue as he climbed into the Escalade beside Chris. Soon, the two took off, leaving me with DeAndre.
I felt shy, and grateful as I stared down at the concrete. "You didn't have to do that."
"Yeah, I did. You said no, and your no meant no. It's not about what I want, it's about you as well and what you want to do." DeAndre massaged the back of his neck awkwardly. "You're not dressed for games, so wanna see a movie? There's a theater down the street, we can even grab something to eat afterward if you want."
Biting on my lip to contain my joy, I felt giddy.
It was nice to know he had a sweet and considerate side.
"Yeah, let's do that," I said.
Just like before in the car, DeAndre reached out to offer comfort, hesitating and unsure what to do.
I felt bad for whoever he ended up with, because there was no telling what the girl would go through teaching DeAndre how to feel and love and offer compassion.
It seemed like with his father calling the shots in his life, he was only happy when he let loose and did things with his friends. If we were going to be friends, then I would make it my job to see to it that he was always genuinely happy. It was what I'd do for Troiann, and DeAndre was no different.
I looped my arm around DeAndre's and walked with him we started for the parking lot's exit.
"Have a good time?" I asked.
DeAndre nodded. "Yeah, you?"
"It was definitely a night I won't forget." I couldn't wait to tell Troiann about it. "Even if I wasn't fun enough for Inferno, I loved the hookah bar."
"I don't think you're boring, Cree," DeAndre spoke up. "Guys like us," he pointed to the direction his friends had taken when Chris drove off and then to himself, "don't deserve girls like you. So we just stick with what we're used to."
"I think you deserve whatever makes you happy, Dre."
"I have that."
"Do you?"
"I have my friends, my family and basketball, what else matters?"
He didn't get it and it pained me to think that he never would.
I didn't allow myself to think of a future for DeAndre like that, instead I dwelled on the present. "Tomorrow's the big interview, nervous?"
DeAndre looked ahead of us, staring off. "Nah, not really. I get to see—it should be fine."
Being corny, I elbowed him. "Don't be afraid to shout me out."
DeAndre chuckled. "Yeah, sure."
"What's your other brother like?" I'd seen Devonte around school. He wasn't even in DeAndre's little clique but he wreaked as much havoc on his own. There was no telling what the oldest Parker boy was doing away at college.
DeAndre stared down at the ground, keeping silent for a moment. "Different."
There was a sense of confliction in his voice and for that I clung closer to him, trying to reach him somehow. "You guys pretty close even though he's away?"
He shook his head. "He's busy with school, and other things. We play ball every once in a while though."
I ached for him and I pushed out every negative thought I ever held for DeAndre at that moment. "I'm sorry."
DeAndre looked at me and he seemed to be searching the depths of my soul the longer he looked. "Don't pity me, Cree. It's fine, everything's cool. He just has school and I've got my own shit, it's not that big of a deal, really. We text a lot."
The smile that came to my mouth was forced, but I wasn't sure DeAndre could tell. It hurt me to know that he wasn't so simple as I once thought. He wasn't some arrogant, asshole basketball player. He had his own issues, issues he didn't seem capable of admitting existed.
I kept a firm grip on him as we continued to head to our own adventure, determined to make good on my promise of being that friend that kept him genuinely happy.