I dawdled off to lunch, remembering I had made plans with Jaz. I didn't want to face the hoards of people in the lunch room, their judging eyes digging at me from all sides. I fished my phone out of my pocket and saw I had a txt from Jaz. 'Where are you?' it said. Lunch had been going for at least 15 minutes, and I hadn't texted her back. 'Can you meet me at the courtyard by the library?' I texted back as I started to walk towards my lunch spot. While I didn't want to meet with Mr Hunter, I didn't want to face my peers. I slid open the door to the courtyard to be tackled into a hug.
"Jane!" Fletch squealed. Squeezing me tighter. I couldn't breathe, especially because of my ribs. But also because of the strange sensation of being hugged. I don't revel in the warmth of other peoples arms, but Fletch's were comforting like a friends hug. Different from Joe's hug, that's for sure. The words were caught in my throat while I struggled to breathe. He let me go after a minute and when I hadn't replied he held me by the arms and stared into my eyes. "Sorry, you okay?" I nodded, letting the slight presence of tears in my eyes drain away a little by blinking rapidly. I gave a weak smile before I greeted him, "Hey Fletch." I peered over his shoulder to be met with the worried eyes of Joe. He was searching my eyes for some kind of signal that I was okay. I smiled at him too and said, "Hey Sir."
He didn't have the chance to reply before Fletch started talking non-stop. "Where've you been? I was worried you got caught up with those bitches again. Anyway, you've been ignoring me all day! I saw you in biology but you left me for someone else! Who was she?" Fletch was full of energy, maybe I was his outlet. I can't imagine Joe would be that much of an outlet source. "Well, she's my friend Jaz. She works at the cafe Al's where I met her when she served me a coffee."
Just then, as she heard us talking about her, Jaz walked in through the sliding door and I saw visible relief in her eyes when she saw I was here. "Geez Jane! Where've you been?" I mumbled a reply that somehow sounded reasonable enough. Something along the lines of "Bathroom" which wasn't exactly a lie, I was there but no one had to know what had happened while I was there. It was silent for a moment before I had noticed that both Fletch and Jaz were staring at each other; both with a slight blush on their cheeks.
"Oh," I spoke up interrupting their moment. "Ah Jaz, this is Fletch and Fletch this is Jaz." For the first time since I met Fletch he was almost speechless. Barely able to form words he had turned into a teenage girl. They both said a quick 'hi' before they made a silent decision to go and sit on the bench in the courtyard and start talking. I felt accomplished somehow, like I had given them some happiness by introducing them to each other. I had a good feeling about those two, they seemed like they would get together. You know the typical story. High school sweethearts who marry and live happily ever after?
I walked over to Joe who was standing awkwardly in the corner. "Hey," I spoke before I crouched down carefully and leant against the courtyard wall, next to a rose bush. The smell was beautiful. I wasn't quite sure how they could grow in this small room like area, it had limited sunlight but extra shelter. Rain couldn't get in. It had a roof after all. I always admired a rose. They had those thorns that if you didn't see could stick you and draw blood. So you'd have to stand back and admire them from afar of you didn't want to hurt yourself.
"Hey," he replied softly. It was quite for a minute or two before he spoke again. "Look, I know you didn't want to go to the university. But after I thought about it I realised that even though you may not appreciate it at the time, it could help you in the future." he was fidgeting his hands nervously. It was frustrating so I reached over an grabbed them as a reassurance that I wasn't mad. "I know," I simply replied before closing my eyes, leaning my head back and letting the limited sunlight stream through the Perspex roof and onto my face. Sun was a treat in the winter time, we were plagued more by the frosty footpaths and snow covered ground than sun, so when it did come around we did everything we could to keep it there and abuse it while it stayed.
I opened my eyes after a while, noticing Joe was looking at me from where he had sat down next to me. It was a questioning gaze, but I ignored it while I pulled the pill bottle of pain killers from my bag and swallowed them with the bottle of water I had. "You're supposed to have them with food Jane." Joe scorned disapprovingly. I rolled my eyes. He worried too much, I wasn't going to die.
He must've noticed my eye roll as a refusal to eat food, and I found a wholemeal sandwich launched at my lap not 5 seconds later, faster than you could say 'Eat this sandwich'. The force at which it was thrown indicated to me that Joe was not a force to be reckoned with until I had at least attempted to eat it. I unwrapped it from the plastic wrap and took a small bite of the wholemeal crust. "The bread's nice," I complemented and took another small nibble. "Thanks," he replied. "I made it myself." I was impressed, not many men can bake and those who can wouldn't readily admit to it either. "Do you bake or cook other things?" I asked curiously.
Joe was ashamed now, as he bent his head and blushed slightly. "I'll take that as a yes," I muttered loud enough for him to hear and giggled lightly at his behaviour. The silence that we sat in for a while was comfortable, me eating my sandwich and him eating his large lunch. Fruit, sandwiches, crackers, cookies, it seemed he didn't really hold back on his diet. And when I asked him about it he shrugged it off and said he was a 'big boy' who needed a lot of energy.
I pulled out my iPod at some point during the lunch hour and gave him a bud to put in his ear. We listened to my music, gently bobbing our heads to the beat and muttering the words lightly. I didn't have to worry about Jaz and Fletch, they were hitting it off quite well, very well. Jaz was a quiet sort of person while Fletch was more outgoing but they brought out the better qualities in each other. I had my fingers crossed for at least one relationship to work out.
The end of he lunch hour came all too quickly and we had to pack up our food scraps and leave the courtyard. I was getting attached to the courtyard, and I knew when it came time to leave this school I would miss it the most. It was just as well the bell rang in time, as the rain droplets started to fall steadily and they rushed down the gutter pipes, making for a noisy courtyard. All four of us parted ways, except for Jaz and Fletch who had accounting class in the same period. I walked with the throng of other students to my next class, just simple chemistry. There weren't any distractions of any kind, not any unwanted feelings and memories, and definitely no Mr Hunter to distract me. It was a peaceful period, I got lost in the different formulas and equations of chemistry and was relieved when the teacher announced there was no homework for tomorrow as we'd be out at the open day.
-
It was last period when the rain really started to pick up, big black storm clouds darkening the daytime sky. The presence of these clouds made everything to the students seem more dreary and boring but to me it was great. I loved the thought that water could fall from the sky and flow in different rivers in gutters, travelling all over the town before disappearing under the roads into the waste water systems.
The heavy rain and the warning of thunder and lightening sent our whole gym class into the library for a study period, instead of the usual run around the grounds. Joe wasn't taking our class, unlike the past week where he had been filling in, and we were left with a grumpy and disgruntled teacher called Mrs Walker. The wiry hairs from her chin and the canyons of wrinkled in her face struck fear into those who dared to cross her. In simple words, she was a teacher. The whole lesson was silent and that gave me enough time to finish my homework and study for some subjects for my upcoming exams in a couple of weeks.
School was let out and I walked outside leaving the safety and cover of the schools shelter and heading into the sheets of rain and sleet. I had to walk fast, while I loved the rain the cold temperature and the rate at which it was falling caused me concern and I didn't want to stay off school sick for two reasons. I didn't want to stay home in the firing line of my mother and although I hated to admit it, I was looking forward to the open day. Joe was right like I had feared, but I wasn't going to tell him that.
I walked quickly through the streets until I came across Al's, it was becoming my haven of sorts. I went in and sat down, only long enough to dry my hair out and grab a coffee to go. Walking meant I was running a little late and didn't have time to sit down and fully relax after my day at school. I looked around but didn't spot Joe anywhere, he must be held up somewhere, I thought.
When the waitress called my name for my order, I grabbed it and left Al's, sad I couldn't stay in there forever. It was such a contrast to the weather outside as the rain hadn't let up any more than before. I ran between the shelters that covered the pathways until I reached the book shop. When I entered I noticed that June was here, reading her book at the counter.
"Hi June," I greeted cheerily and loudly to ensure she could hear me. June grinned widely when she looked up from her book. "Good afternoon dear, there won't be too much work today as the rain detracts the customers. But feel free to stay here, I'm going to skip home now that you're here." she spoke softly, in the way I assumed my own grandparents would speak. That is if I knew them.
"Joe should be here soon anyway, I don't know why he started to come so early last week!" June may be old, but she sure was mischievous with the smirk she often sported. "Perhaps it had to do with a certain young lady?" She teased. She must be talking about one of the customers that came in before I got here. What she said made me think. Did Joe have a girlfriend? Was he single? He couldn't possibly be single, he was handsome, kind and most of all caring. There was no way someone could look over those qualities and not go out with him.
"Well, I'm off Jane," June said while wrapping a scarf around her neck. During my daydream she had managed to gather her things and was almost out the door. "Bye June!" I shouted as she stepped out the door. For an older woman she could still move pretty quickly.
June was right, we didn't get many customers that day. But she was wrong about Joe, he didn't show up. So I was left by myself in the store for the whole afternoon. It was just as well I had the skills and training to see to the customers. And that I managed to find the spare key to lock up the store.
I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at myself. I had relied on him too heavily, hoping he would be able to give me a ride home in the rain. But because of his no show I was stuck in the rain walking home. It was a slow walk, the rain pattering against my soaking clothes and seeping in through the cracks, making contact with my blue tinged skin. Cars passed me but no one stopped, no one even looked out their window. I guess it just goes to show that I can rely on no one except myself in life.
I arrived home to find Mother was home, as well as Alex. A family reunion, woo. I flipped my shoes off my feet and left them near the front door to drip dry and skipped up the stairs to strip form the clothes that had more use as a sponge than clothing at the moment. I stripped off quickly in the bathroom and jumped straight under the hot water of the shower. The last thing I needed right now was a cold to put on the top of all my other dramas. I stood under there for 8 minutes, stretching my usual 5 minutes an extra three minutes. It wasn't that I only needed 5 minutes, but that I was only allowed 5 minutes.
Mother was strict on what things I could and couldn't have in her house, and limiting my showers were just one rule. Along with, I couldn't cook unless Alex and Mother had eaten; I couldn't use their groceries, I had to buy my own and my favourite, no noise after 10.00pm. I think that includes music, speaking or any creak in the floorboard that irritates her.
The shower burned at the tips of my fingers and toes, trying to bring them back to a natural temperature. When I finally got out, my nose was dripping and I knew I had to fight the oncoming cold as best I could. After dressing I made my way downstairs, happy to notice Mother must be up in her room and stalked into the kitchen. I made myself a coffee from my stash of supplies, and grabbed an orange; hoping that the citrus and vitamin C would help me fight the cold.
I ran back up to my room and fished out my homework, finishing off some sheets I couldn't do in the study period and started to revise some more for my exams. I was quietly confident about these exams, I felt like I knew most of the curriculum. The ipod I had plugged in my ears helped me to concentrate and block out any other noise. So I didn't hear when Alex entered the room and closed the door behind him.
I only looked up when he placed his hand on my foot from where I was sitting on the bed. I was so startled the cup of coffee almost sloshed out of my hand and the orange peel on my lap went flying off the bed. I held my chest, trying to calm my racing heartbeat as I placed the cup of coffee on the side table beside me. "What do you want?" I demanded watching Alex laugh from my 'performance'.
Suddenly his face went deadly serious, like I had never seen before. Admittedly I had always seen the smirk, or the scowl. So serious Alex was a surprise. Alex didn't speak for a while, as if he was trying to build up some courage. "I've been thinking a lot lately," he started tentatively, "And I know I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I've been noticing things." He couldn't meet my eye and traced the pattern of my bedspread with his index finger. I sighed impatiently and he started talking again. "Well, okay. Uh, you're being hurt in some kind of way aren't you?" Alex spat out the words at a fast pace, nervous at my reaction.
"No," I said bluntly. The last thing I needed right now was for someone else to be in on my Private life. I would rather have the old tricking, deceiving and horrible Alex from before if he was going to be like this. This caring person.
Alex stood up to leave, muttering an "okay" but he stopped at the door frame. "No, Jane. I know I haven't been the best Brother in the world, but Ma has been turning me against you. I've only noticed lately when I actually thought about all the things she's said to me. You've got a disease, you're sick, you can't have any family because you made my step-Dad left." he closed his eyes tightly and brought his hand up to the bridge of his nose, squeezing with his fingers as if he had a headache. "And recently I've actually noticed you more, instead of my latest prank but you. I see how you hide out, hardly eat and constantly cage yourself off from everyone." I went to cut in to tell him to go away but he just spoke over the top of me in a louder voice.
"Jane! You didn't even come home the other night! Where were you?" he didn't give me a chance to talk before he rampaged again, "Look. I'm going to help you. I'm going to protect you, be the older brother I should've been for all these years."
Finally he gave me some time to speak but I couldn't. For one, I couldn't take his proposal seriously, what if this was just another one of his pranks? And secondly, what if he backed out? What if he was helping Mother take me down once and for all?
"I don't trust you," I spoke truthfully. He looked up towards the ceiling, clearly frustrated. "Well," he said definitively, "I'm just going to have to prove it to you. I'll drive you to school, I'll stay home more make sure you're not alone. I understand that you don't want to trust me because of what I've done to you in the past, I get that. But I was too young, stupid and self-absorbed to notice anything or anyone else. Especially you, who has been living with me for her whole life!" Alex's hands were clenched into fists and he was raging now, pacing across my room. I stayed silent, watching him vent.
"Trust me!" He suddenly exploded. I was taken aback, but more afraid of the words of hate and malice that drifted down the hallway to my room.
"Jane! you better shut the hell up or I'll come and shut you up myself!" Mother shouted from wherever she was. My eyes were wide, knowing Alex had never heard her speak like that to me. "Sorry, it was me Ma!" he shouted back. He looked at me while he was saying it, as if he was trying to show to me that he was serious about helping me out.
"Oh Alex! I didn't know you were home!" The sickly sweet voice drifted again, but somehow the fake words invoked more fear than the ones shouted with hate. She sounded so fake and two-sided. Alex stalked towards the door to leave, but once again he decided to say one last thing.
"I'm going to get you out of here Jane, I can't stay here and watch you wither away into just flesh and bones." He finally left my room, leaving me in a stunned state. I had never, in a million years expected him to come and beg for his forgiveness or whatever that just was, let alone notice someone except for himself. I guess time would tell whether or not he could stick to his promise. If I could bet on it, I would say he would only do it the first day then go back to his 'normal' self. I was left wondering all night, still in a state of disbelief when i turned out the light and went to sleep.
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So what do you think? Did you see that coming? Stick around more! There's a whole bunch of drama coming up! Please vote and comment, it would really mean a lot to me! If you see any mistakes can you message me? I am doing this on the computer and my fingers are frozen from the temperature!
Thanks everyone for reading! xx