My head was pounding, my four year old daughter wouldn't stop crying. She had left her doll back in London but we were on our way to Manchester so it would take too long to go back home first. I was taking my daughter to stay with her dad for a week, I knew I was going to miss her. It would feel strange living on my own without my little baby being needing to be taken care of. It was going to be strange.
The one thing I wasn't looking forward to seeing was my ex husband, Evan. We were together since I was 16. I was now 24, we divorced in the autumn last year. I did love him but it wasn't working, it was for the best.
It was surprising that I heard the beeping of the car, which signalled I was running out of fuel, over her crying. I needed to get to the nearest service station as soon as possible.
I felt my breath hitch when the man standing in front of me turned around revealing his face. All the memories came flooding back, the moment I first watched him on the tv, the first concert to the last one I attended. It made me remember how I felt standing by the barriers as I watched him perform, grab his crotch and where he would spit out the water like it was some kind of volcanic eruption. As a teenage fan, I remember saying how I would never stop loving them. How I would keep all the posters, still stay active on Twitter and listen to the music everyday. But none of that happened. As much as I tried, gradually I forgot about the band. That was until now, I did love him. And seeing him now made me remember how much I loved those chocolate brown curls and his mesmerising emerald green eyes. Harry styles had found a way back into my heart.
"Holy shit, it's him!" I low key freaked out. I spoke to myself but it wasn't impossible for him to hear. In the frenzy I was in I dropped my purse, the water bottle and fruit shoot I had got out of the fridge.
"Yeah it's me, who are you?" Harry laughed as he bent down to retrieve my items.
"I'm Y/N. I used to be a fan of yours."
"Used to be? Why did you stop?" He asked as he faked feeling offended. One thing was for sure and that was that he was still an idiot.
"I guess the band broke up and I had to move on, I couldn't be a woman in my 20's still obsessing over a broken boy band." I thought I handled that question pretty well if was being honest.
"So you admit that you obsessed over me?" He still had that same smirk he had when he was 16, eight years later.
"Harry styles, are you flirting with me?" If I was still 16, I would be hyperventilating. I had to admit, my heart was still beating fast.
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." He was still annoying.
He did have this charm that could make you fall in love with him. Here I was, talking to him as if I had known him for years. Well technically I did except he didn't know me but still, he was easy to talk to.
"Can I hug you? It's all I wanted years ago so I can't give this chance up."
He smiled, he still had dazzling white teeth, not like other well known people, the stress got them into drugs and the smoking discoloured their teeth.
He didn't answer my question with words, instead he simply embraced. He was so gentle and loving, we stayed in the sand position for about 5 minutes until I pulled away. People in the shop probably thought we were stupid just standing there. I looked through the window of the shop to see my daughter asleep in her car seat; at least her cry stopped.
"I need to go check on my daughter, this was one of the best days of my life. I honestly gave up trying to meet you and now that I have I really don't want to just drive away. I know that there is a high chance than I will never even see you again." I looked down at my Chelsea boots and stopped talking once I realised how love struck I sounded.
"But if I gave you my number then you could meet me again." He was actually saying this? Or was this just some weird dream I was in where thoughts of the past made their way into the present?
"You would actually give me your number?" I couldn't help but sound surprised, I would only know of this happening on fanfics.
******
The drive to Evan's was full of thoughts of Harry, he clouded my mind. It was intoxicatingly taking away my focus. The only time he went since I met him was when I saw Evan for the first time in months, I didn't love him anymore but I still cared. He was a huge part of my life, it hurt seeing us act so distant when I can still see the vivid memories in my mind.
After I kissed my little girl goodbye, I sat in my car and weeped. I shouldn't have been feeling sorry for myself but I did. If only my life could have been the way it was about two years ago when we were both happy together as a proper family.
My actions took control and before I knew it, I was crying on the phone to Harry. He insisted I met him in this little bakery in Holmes Chapel, I was assuming it was the one he worked in when he was 16. The drive only took about 15-20 minutes which wasn't very long. My heart pounded against my rib cage, the feeling of meeting Harry again gave me a mixture of emotions. It was so hard to get my head around, if I had ever thought of this happening when I was younger then I would think I was in denial.
When I got to the bakery I noticed Harry hadn't arrived yet, I went to the till and ordered a green tea. The shop worker brought my tea over in under five minutes. Harry still hasn't arrived which made me over think. I sipped my tea for a few minutes longer until i started to become paranoid.
I got up to leave but as I opened the door to walk out, Harry was walking in. This caused me to tumble backwards and land on the floor; this was embarrassing. I peered up at him, looking directly in his stormy green eyes. That was something unique about him, there were no eyes like them. He offered me a hand to help me up which I accepted, I knew my cheeks were becoming painted with a crimson shade.
"I thought you weren't coming..." I softly spoke.
"Of course I was, just busy was all. You've probably had a drink already so why don't you just come back to my mums place?" He offered. I remember Anne, she was so kind. She noticed one of my paintings of Harry once and told me she had shown him, I wonder if he remembered. I may have to ask him.
"Yeah sure I will." I swear this is just a weird dream because this shouldn't be happening. Me actually hanging out with my teenage idol.
Soon enough we were sitting on Harry's childhood bed, I remember it from the photo where he had beer bottles surrounding him and a pillow covering his crotch. I still thought it was a weird photo. We watched some romantic film on Netflix, I had never heard of it before. He told me it was pretty decent so I agree to watch it with him. I was laid down with my head resting on his chest as I kept my eyes on the tv, his hand was around my waist. Every now and then his hand would travel lower on my body but high on my thigh. It kept my heart beat racing, my mind would go into overtime.
I knew my next move was risky but I had to take a chance. I sat up straight then slowly attached my lips to his neck, leaving trails of kisses. I felt him stiffen, thus wasn't a good sign. He held my arms to push me away and to stop me.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"I-- I thought-- never mind." I wasn't even going to bother explaining myself, I just needed to get out of the house. This was so humiliating, I shouldn't have even came. I knew far to well that he was way out of my league.
As I collected my jacket and bag I heard shuffling behind me, I didn't bother turning around to find out what it was. When I was half way walking through the door, I felt a tug at my shirt which pulled me back. Me being the clumsy person I was, I stubbled back and collided with his chest.
"No, I don't want you to leave." This was all too overwhelming for me, what did he want?
"You're too confusing, I don't even know what you want."
"I want you. I wanted you since I first saw you." His voice was deep, very seductive.
I still was curious, "Then why did you stop me?"
"I just needed to know this is what you want."
"It is." I smiled, I really couldn't believe this was happening.
"Well, if that's the case..." He sweeper me off my feet, he carried me over to his bed before hovering over me. In no time at all his lips were attached to mine, they worked in perfect harmony.
A thought got into my mind, I needed to pull away.
"Your mum, she's downstairs. What if she heard? Oh God, what if she walks in?" I panicked, if that were to happen then I would be very embarrassed. I don't think I could live with that humiliation.
"If it makes you more comfortable then I'll lock the door." That's what he did, walked over to the open door and shut it before twisted the lock closed. He made his way over to me. He tried to be sexy by ripping his shirt open but at first he struggled with doing so which made me release a couple giggles from my cherry red lips. When he managed to tear the shirt, some of the buttons came flying off, he didn't seem to care. I bet that cost him a few thousand pounds. He roamed his hands across his bare skin, he was so beautiful. His abs weren't completely prominent but they were there and noticeable. He had a perfect body in my eyes, his skin complexion along with his carefully crafted tattoos. Be was truly mesmerising.
He unbuckled his belt whilst saying, "Maybe we could use this?" His green eyes sparkled, my heart, as cliché as it sounds, fluttered. Only one dimple was prominent as he smirked. I didn't bother answering his rhetorical question because I knew he was joking.
He wriggled out of his skinny jeans which left him in Armani boxers, but silk he had removed that piece of clothing too. He was left naked to my wondering eyes, he was huge. Bigger than I'd ever had, he had to be about 9 inches like me and my friends used to work out.
I wasted no time by stripping from my crop top and black skinny jeans which left me in my white bra and panties.
"White. Very innocent." He turned me on a lot. I was pretty nervous to be naked in front of him, what if he was going to judge my appearance. That was something I wished not to happen.
"No need to be nervous babe." He reassured me, it was weird; it was like he could hear my thoughts.
Harry claimed back onto the bed to straddle me, he didn't apply much pressure incase it hurt me. His hands found their way to my back to unclip my bra, once it was off he chucked it on the carpet.
"Now the last item of clothing." He had that devilish smirk imprinted on his face, it was so hot. I felt myself growing wetter in my lower region.
He slowly pulled the lace material off as if he was unleashing treasure. This didn't feel like some cheap, dirty scandal; he made me feel loved and wanted.
He pecked my lips then began trailing his soft, plump lips across the pale complexion of skin on my neck. It was arousing, so pure! I didn't want this to end, I felt like I wanted to stay in this moment forever. Was it possible to keep time frozen?
Gradually he thrusted his way in, it was bliss. My back arched but my eyes stayed closed, the pleasure was overpowering. We worked together to fulfil each others needs.
"I don't want to let you go." He softly spoke before pressing his lips directly above my heart on my chest.
"Then don't." I pushed his head down to kiss my lips. Our bodies intertwined with our lips. I just wanted to feel lips lips on mine and the warmth of his body against my skin. It wasn't just the physical attraction, I wanted to submerge in the raw emotions.
"I mean it, I want more than this. More than sex." This just confirmed my earlier thoughts, I didn't feel used. There was something there, I could feel it.
"I want that too. You're one of a kind, Harry. You deserve so much, even the universe doesn't deserve your existence." I felt emotional, I loved this man so much. I knew him for years yet I was practically a stranger.
Our bodies rocked against one another as he continuously pounded into me. My legs began to shake, that's when I knew the pleasure was about to cloud my mind and take control of my body. He didn't lose pace, in fact he thrusted faster and deeper, the sensation was unfathomable.
My orgasmed hit harder and quicker than ever before, he was by far the best I have had. He thrusted a few times more until he realised a deep, hearty moan and that's when I knew his climax had hit.
We stayed in the same position for a few moments, our sweaty bodies engulfing each other in our arms. I wanted him close to me, close to my heart. A fear was that he would go, that this was the only time I had left with him. I needed every second.
"This may seem rushed but I want to take you on dates, I want to spoil you. I want you to be mine." I couldn't handle it, tears cascaded down my cheeks. I wasn't upset, I was happy. In fact ecstatic.
"Harry, I love you so so much. You don't even understand, I know that I'm basically a stranger but I feel like I've known you for years. I gave you up, I guess it was for the best. If it's meant to happy then we would be brought together and look, we have." By now he was lying on his back and removed the used condom. I climbed on his body and lied down, my arms hugged him tightly, this was the best feeling.
He pressed kisses over and over again against my hair, it was a little gesture but it was appreciated tremendously.
"Do you want to shower with me in a bit?" He questioned.
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