chapter thirteen ;; thank you for taking care of me
jeongguk's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆
I woke up in the middle of the night to a loud clap of thunder that started with a bright bolt of lightning. As my still groggy mind stares outside of the window close to my bed, my eyes lazily watch the rain stream down my window and lightning flash across the world, illuminating me in horror movie angles. A sigh escapes the lips of the boy that tightly holds me to his chest from behind, practically spooning my body against his.
My hand is used as an extra padding to cradle my head, and a pit of bile is clearly tasted in my mouth. I already know that I'll soon be heaving over the toilet, trying to throw up contents that I don't have. Acid reflux had always been a pained battle with me, but the medication had been stupidly ignored.
Taehyung pulls me closer to him while mumbling incoherent sounds. I was still flustered about what happened earlier, the way that I blacked out and didn't know what was going on. My brain completely mouth functioned, and I thought that Taehyung was a different person completely, which is the whole reason as to why I lashed out the way I did. Anxiety and fear built up inside until it retaliated against my every being, "V..." My hands slowly move to his, trying to carefully undo the tightness of them clasped together that hold my torso, "please, let go. I need to go." The feeling of nausea fills my head, screwing my face into disgust at the putrid feeling.
I finally pull his arms apart, allowing myself to slide out before bolting out of the room and towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut. There was no time to even turn the light on, and that's why I'm leaning over the toilet, on my knees, while dry heaving in pitch black. Chills run down my spine as my body desperately searches for something to get out- anything, and so the whole process becomes a lot more painful very fast as contents rise in my throat with no liquid to help.
"Jeongguk...?" A familiar voice sounds from the other side of the door. The calmness and serenity of the deepened voice helps in only the slightest, "I'm coming in, a-alright?" He continues, and without even giving me time to respond, Taehyung opens up the door to witness me at my true lowest once he flips the switch.
I was expecting him to walk right out again, disgusted by the sight of me coughing and practically crying into the toilet bowl, but his light and firm footsteps only draw closer. Taehyung's knees crack as he kneels by my side, placing his large hand onto the small of my back and running it up and down. Finally, some things do come out with almost excruciating pain, and that's when I begin to sob. It burns. God, it fucking burns, like the claws of a flame are climbing up and out from my quivering stomach, "Shhhh, shhhh, stay calm, you're okay." Taehyung whispers, staring over at me, and I squeeze my eyes tightly shut as more things leave my stomach. I just want the pain to go away.
Taehyung's hand leaves my back for only a moment before returning it again, this time making sure to have it go under my baggy, white shirt. The tears stream as yet another round of retching runs through at terrifying speed. Thunder continues to boom, matching the state of my body as the rain signifies my tears. Warmth is felt on my forehead due to Taehyung putting my long fringe behind my ear the best he can to get it out a my face, a soft sigh escaping his lips, "Guk," he starts, grabbing one of my hands that grips tightly onto the side of the toilet bowl and putting it into his own, "you have a high fever. You're staying home today, and I'm going to stay with you, okay?" I vigorously nod my head as the awful pain slowly begins to die down once the hurling ends. Taehyung grabs ahold of the toilet paper roll and tears off a few squares before handing it to me, "Wipe off your mouth while I get you cold water."
"M-Mhm." I painfully say, wincing at the soreness and scratchiness in the back of my throat with every swallow of saliva. Taehyung sends me a pitiful stare and hands me the toilet paper before removing his hand from under my shirt and leaving the bathroom. I would get up and walk back to my room, but I'm too tired and exhausted to. It's like my whole body has given up, lazily reaching up to flush whatever came out of me down the toilet while wiping off my lips. A revolting taste stands throughout my mouth, sending shudders through my body and goosebumps to form on my thin arms. The feeling of the cold, laminated flooring never felt so comfortable.
Taehyung finally returns to my aid with a large glass of iced water in his hand. He kneels down to my side again with a concerned face and hands it to me. I loosely grab the slippery glass covered in condensation from him, almost dropping it in the process but somehow managing and bringing the glass up to my lips. It clashes against my teeth, and I begin to quickly chug it down in an attempt to soothe the burning pain in my throat.
"Hey, hey, don't drink so fast. It'll only make you throw up again." Taehyung softly says, grabbing the glass that's still up to my lips and carefully pulling it away so I stop.
"B-But I wa-want to soothe the burning." I let out a groan of pain again, bringing my thin fingers up to my throat and massaging it as if it'll somehow help me.
"I know it hurts, but drinking a lot of water isn't going to help it. Your stomach's still angered with whatever is in your system. Give it some time until you drink a lot, and only take small sips at a time after throwing up the way you did, okay?" I shamefully look up at him through my thick eyelashes while slowly nodding.
Taehyung flashes a kind smile and scoops me off of the floor with ease. He cradles me in his strong, softly toned arms and into the bedroom, "I'm tired." I sleepily mumble into his shoulder, feeling my eyes beginning to already droop down.
"I know you are. Go back to sleep if you need to. I'll be right here once you wake up again." He slowly and tenderly explains, knowing that I was already falling asleep as he slowly puts me onto my plush, full sized bed, "I already have a trash can next to the bed if you happen to get sick again, so you don't have to run to the bathroom."
"...V," I call out his name once he lays at my side again, desperately grabbing for his hand, needing some kind of warmth on my frozen body. Taehyung won't hold onto me like he did before, I'm sure of that. He's too afraid of me struggling to get up like I was the first time, "why are you shaking so much?"
He lets out a soft chuckle, running his thumb over the back of my hand, "I have a fear of lightning and thunder."
"Oh." is all I'm able to say, feeling extremely grateful and somewhat bad, knowing that Taehyung ignored his obviously large fear to help me, "Why do you have a fear of lightning and thunder? I mean, it looks so pretty..." My voice trails off, distracted by the bright light show happening outside.
His thumb falters for a moment, seeming to seize for a good second before starting up again, "I'd rather not talk about it," Taehyung whispers, "but stop calling me V, and call me Taehyung instead. It was so fucking dumb to make you call me that."
I drowsily smile and nod, shifting around so that I can face Taehyung instead of having my back to his, "Okay...Taehyung." Is the last thing I say before falling back into sleep once again for a good few hours.
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More crying, more heaving, and more shaking while I clutch onto the trash can. Taehyung was right, I shouldn't of had drank that glass of water so quickly. Apparently, I'd been sleeping for only forty-five minutes, although it felt so much longer. Taehyung is stationed back at his designated area, that area being behind me slightly and to the side. His hand has already snaked under my shirt, tracing my spinal chord and whispering kind things into my ear.
"It'll be over soon. I promise." He speaks. Tears escape my tightly squeezed eyes while my whole face screws up in discomfort. Trembles run their way from head to toe, breaths hiccuped and labored through hazy vision and sweat across the skin. Everything dies down after long, drawn out minutes, and Taehyung hands me the glass again, "Remember, small sips." He reminds me, and I nod, taking two small sips of extremely cold water before handing it back to Taehyung so he can place it down onto the bedside table. The water is felt going down my esophagus and to my stomach, the exact opposite of the warmth Taehyung usually brings me.
He gets comfortable again, laying down onto his back completely and staring up at the ceiling. The sunrise had finally shown only twenty minutes ago, and faint light had made its way into my room, illuminating it in a gorgeous manner. The earlier storm had seized out long ago, and I could already tell Taehyung calmed down from prior. No shakiness rings in his voice, body much less tense.
While both of us are enclosed in comfortable silence, I finally seem to have nothing to think about. There are no metaphors or similes for my mind to create. There are no stories and theories to come up with on the fly. It's rare that something like this ever happens. The only thing that I could do was lay still and deal with the silence, staring at anything that sparks my interest before moving onto the next. A thing that currently sparks my interest is the way Taehyung's constantly brushing the back of his hand up against my own.
Before I can do anything about the matter, he's hesitantly intertwining our fingers together. It was positively enamoring in the most terrifying way. We've held hands, yes, but it's always been for Taehyung to drag me to wherever he wishes and never intertwined. This time, there was no need to guide me anywhere, and there was no need to intertwine our fingers but somehow there was. Deep down in my soul, there was a part that wanted to hold hands with Taehyung like this, and as the void fills, a warm feeling of satisfactory unfurls within.
"Jeongguk?" Taehyung questions with uncertainty. I tilt my head over to him, unaware of what he wants to ask or where he was looking. His eyes are currently locked with our hands, and the size difference between the two is undeniably evident. I could already imagine Taehyung bending the top of his fingers against mine if we ever compared for shits and giggles, "Why are your hands so bruised?"
I take in a deep breath, watching as he lifts our bundle of joined hands up to look at it better, "Honestly, I have no idea. I've always been one to bruise easily, and last night I sort of slammed my hand against the wall by accident." I let a nervous chuckle escape my lips in an attempt to lighten the grim mood.
Taehyung lightly smiles and shakes his head, "You're stupid sometimes, you know that?" He asks, beginning to reach my gaze that I've held for what seems like forever now.
"That's not very nice."
"Well, I'm not very nice." He shoots back. I'm about to respond before being cut off by my phone blaring through what used to be a soothing atmosphere, "Who is it?" Taehyung curiously asks once I let go of his hand, reaching out to hit 'Answer'.
'Jimin' I mouth as the call starts.
"Gukkie!" Jimin brightly sings, a smile clear in his tone, even being contagious through the phone since I smile as well.
"Hello." I coo back at him. Out of my peripheral vision, Taehyung no longer holds the blinding gleam he did only a few seconds ago.
"Where are you? I can't find you anywhere." He sadly pouts, causing me to let out a short laugh, light into the atmosphere.
"I'm staying home today."
"Wait, what-?" Jimin asks with stress clear, "Are you alright? I can come over and take care of you." I bite down on my lower lip in awkwardness before answering him.
"No, uh, that's not needed. Taehyung's...here already." And once again, a light smile dances across Taehyung's face.
"Ah." Jimin responds, sounding somewhat cold, "Okay then, I'll just see you tomorrow."
"Yeah...see you then...bye."
"...Bye." I let out a sigh of frustration once the call ends, covering my face with my hands.
"Everything good?" Taehyung asks and places his head into my forearm.
"Yeah yeah. It's just...Jimin's been acting up lately, and it's not usual for him to." I felt blue just from saying it.
"That's shit. I hope he gets out of it soon."
"Me too..."
Taehyung's hand slowly finds mine once again as the silence falls and the need for having metaphors and similes dissipates into nothingness, filling the non-calculated endless amount of this feeling that I could live in for the rest of my life, safe from the percussion of my heart being heard.
"Are you feeling better?" He asks me.
"A little bit."
"Good." Taehyung lightly smiles, running his thumb over the back of my hand once again.
"Hey, Taehyung?"
"Hm?" He hums, looking over at me.
"Isn't there a football game today?" Biting down on my lower lip, awaiting his next move of leaving, I allow my eyes to flutter shut.
"Yes."
"And?"
"And, I'm not going to school today, so Namjoon will have to take my spot. I already texted Hoseok and told him that I won't be coming."
My eyes nearly snap open, "Oh..."
"Is that okay with you?" His only meet mine again, both of our lips parted and extremely close together. I can sense it, how Taehyung's dark brown gaze trails across my face, landing especially on my lips, and I instantly turn away.
"Yeah."
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idk this is kind of a filler but kinda not wha-oh