Dear Father,
Hows Tartarus? I'm sure you have escaped it by now but I really hope you don't.
Unfortunately Yours, MissKrill
Dear Mother,
You should have totally stopped at the first one. Like really!!! I'm not kidding...If it hasn't escaped your notice, you don't know how to take care of children. I would give to a Worlds Greated Mother mug for April Fool's Day and I would mean it.
Unsuitably Yours, MissKrill