Before
Me in the past.
Before I
Was a different species of human
The opposite of what I am now
Before I thought of other things
I dreamt happily
And life was perfect
Before nothing was wrong
I couldn't see the cracks on the surface
I saw the world through a filter of perfection
Before I ate normally
I ate with my family, laughed
And slept early too
Before I went shopping
And drank smoothies with friends
Partied and had fun
Before I didn't worry
About thigh-gaps and weight
About exercise and calories
Before I ran for fun
On early mornings to the beach
Chatting with my run-buddy
Before life wasn't dismal
And hopeless
And pointless.
Now
Now I've lost hope
Lost sight of the end
Lost faith and lost will
Now I'm dying
From the inside out
Slowly fading away
Now I'm broken
Fragments of the old me remain
Tiny bits of sharp glass
Now the pain is too much
And life has no purpose
For I'm just another body of the billions
Now I'm working
Hard on the way to perfection
Maybe one day I'll get there
Now I have nightmares
Instead of early night dreams
And have restless nights
Now my only goal is to be skinny
To be thin and perfect
And lighter than air.