Chapter One: No One Cares But You
“Anyone who does not know love does not know God, because God is love.”-1 John 4:8
“A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows...” –Psalm 23: 1-6
“Never will I leave you never will I forsake you.” – Hebrew 13:5
Arabella groggy got up from the hard cold ground; her head was sore but she didn't care, it didn't hurt that much. Not, as much as not being loved or being hit and injured, with no one to look out for her.
Her friends had left her their; there in the cold to fend for herself, when she was blacked out. Great friend’s right? Yea', she thought rely to herself; trying to walk, only to lose her balance. But luckily there was a wall close by that she was able to hold herself up against. As Arabella slowly made her way back to her house with her dad and older brother Steven, who had the same problem as her: doing drugs and drinking, but he too hit her, along with her dad. And although he said he was sorry once he was sober, she didn't believe him. Steven was just another version of her dad. Not as bad as him but close enough. He abused her way to many times; but when he was sober he was really a pretty nice guy, nicer than most that is.
She was happy it was Friday, only because she wouldn't have to deal with her teachers. But that thought didn't stick as she remembered this was drinking night; unlike most nights this was the worst. Not just if she did something as small as in not getting her dad some more beer.
No, this was out of nowhere, and hard. He beat her more than he would normally. And it being Friday didn't help her case one bit. It was party night, so when her brother got home she was in for it.
She thought about running away before, or even hiding, only to get a brutal beating- after she tired. There was no escape, nothing that could save her from this horrid life style. This is about the only reason why she started to drink and do drugs in the first place. She wasn't proud of it, even if she acted like it, she wasn't. Not even close, she hated it, but it toke her pain and suffering away.
It was a life saver. And I'm not talking about the candy. I'm talking about, that it made life easier to live in- less painful. What did she have to live for anyways? So what if it would kill her? No one would care. No one cared for her, she had nobody; no one loved her.
When Arabella reached the front of her house she stopped for a moment to listen, listening for anything that could harm her. Like her father and brother.
She wasn't sure how late it was, all she knew was that it was late enough for the sky to be pitch black, with only the moon and stars as light.
The lights were dime from what she could make out from the windows, her father was probably in front of the T.V. waiting for her to get home and hand him a beer. To be his slave, was the thing she hated the most.
She slowly walked to the door and opened it, knowing it wasn't locked; he never locked the door, not until she got home that was. She locked the door behind her knowing he would have wanted her to, and stepped into the living room where he was; her father.
Her father was a tall man, a man of six foot four, and pure muscle. A man, that scared her with his hard black eyes and bald headed. He wore his normal: t-shirt and jeans. His shirts always showed he had a lot of muscle and that he was fit. Fit enough to beat and impair his daughter.
He turned towards her as she had walked in; his black eyes scolding her clear blue ones. The eyes her momma had, or so that's what her father had told her. She never met her mother, she died in a crash. In the mean time she was pregnant with, well me. So when her momma got to the hospital they tried to save her first, but failed only able to get me, Arabella out alive.
For some reason she thought it was her fault her momma had died, and that her dad should beat her for it. But still it hurts.
"Where have you been?" He asked icily, getting up from his chair and began to walk over towards her.
Arabella gulped; stiffing into a straightened position. She was terrified; what would he do to her now? She was late, and that got one of the worst punishments. She learned that much.
"I-I feel asleep..." She told him, he wouldn't believe her, he never did. He always thought she was with a guy every time she was late, doing things that shouldn't be said. But she never was, not even close; she was too scared of them most of the time, if they looked anything like her brother or dad she’d turn the other way.
Just then her brother Steven busted through the door, laughing as he did so. Yelling out to who ever gave him a ride that'd he'd see them later.
And if it was even possible Arabella stiffed even more. Aghast with horror, she jolted straight up as she felt an arm wrap around her small waist. "Where were you sis?' You missed the party; you killjoy. What were you doing this time? Fuckin' some guys?" Steven asked her impersonally; his words were slurred as he spoke clearly drunk.
"No Steven," She said, angry that'd he'd even think such a thing. "I feel asleep." He nodded, leaning down to press his cold lips to her ear and whisper: "I know you want to keep it on the down low, but really? Falling asleep? You can do better than that; lie I mean. So who was it this time?" She jerked away from him, only to get slapped by Steven as she got loosed from his grip.
"You whore!" He yelled at her.
And this is her family, she thought sadly. Her brother was two years older than her, being eighteen. Yup, that's right she was sixteen. She looked like a lot like her mom, okay that was an understatement; she looked like her twin. Her strawberry blond hair went her shoulders; her blue eyes were soft and sweet, and last of all she had the height of her mother standing at five feet three. Sure she was short but she didn't mind it too much, until she had to defend herself from her dad or brother or some other guy that just happened to attack her.
Arabella had a feeling to run as she felt heard Steven, who she might add was the same height as her dad, only he had grey eyes and black hair that covered his eyes. But she knew if she ran it would just make matters worse.
And so the beating began.
Her dad started first, pushing her into the wall and slapped her. She winced as she fell down with his hit; Arabella felt blood start to trickle down her face.
Steven then kicked her in the stomach and so forth.
When they were done with her, Arabella slowly and carefully picked herself up, off the floor. Her lip was busted open, her nose ran with blood, and newly bruises turned blue and black against her light pale skin. She felt weak, weaker than she did most nights like this.
She quietly and stealthily made it to her room; when she has reached her room she silently shut her door careful not to make the slightest sound. Because if she did, she would surely wake her father and brother up from their drunk slumber. She locked the door and turned her light on.
Her room wasn't too bad; it had a twin sized bed to the side, a small worn wooden dresser with her under garments and night clothing, a small closet on the other side of her bed, and lastly a wooden desk to the side with an old fashioned chair to match. Her room was painted a dark blue with small white flowers with yellow centers. Just like it was when she was a baby, her mama had done it.
It was the one place she could be alone, until someone would come knocking at her door; wanting to wound her even more. She tip toed to her dresser pulling out the third one down which held her PJ’s. Arabella toke out her red stripped shorts and a white tank to wear to bed. She was careful as she stripped herself of her clothing trying not to touch the parts of her body that throbbed with pain. When she finished she walked over to her bed and got under the covers trying to stay warm.
It was going to be along night, she thought softly as she tried to get some sleep. But couldn’t because she was horrified that her brother or dad would come in any moment.
As time went on, her eyes drifted shut in capitulation.
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ps. Picture of Tyler to the side
-Kaiyla