*
Woman I'm trouble
Trouble and all worried mind
Well, I just can't be satisfied
Just can't keep on crying
*
We or rather I stayed in the same position for quite some time. I really didn't want to wake him up, but it was getting late and he probably preferred sleeping in his bed than on his couch, especially if he really was going to be sick... Still I felt bad about just waking him up, but what other choices did I have? I could hardly put him into his bed. Blimey I could hardly go to the toilet alone.
"Brian." I said and started to shake him. He groaned, clearly not wanting to wake up. "You should sleep in your bed." He mumbled something I didn't really understand and strengthened his hold on me. I sighed and tried again. "Brian!" This time his eyes did open, but he didn't really look awake. "You should go to your bed." I said and shook him so more. Finally there was some reaction from his part.
He groaned again. "You should have just let me sleep..."
"You're getting sick and need the bed and I need to pee and you're holding me way too tight. Let go." He mumbled something, but let me go. I exhaled and got up. I really felt better, if it stayed like this I'll probably be up and running by tomorrow, which was a good thing I needed to return to work on Monday. I never missed a day and I wouldn't start it now.
When I returned from the bathroom, the living room was empty. I guessed that Brian had indeed move on to his bedroom and made my way over there, but not before I had grabbed the things Keith had gotten me. If I showered I might feel better and could put some of my own clothes on. I started to feel awkward, asking Brian if I could use his shower gave me some really unwanted memories. I took a deep breath. Nothing had happened, he had just helped me, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. I probably wasn't the first girl he had with him under the shower, but the first because she couldn't stand upright. It hadn't been my choice, but a necessity.
Brian was indeed in his bedroom. He had undressed and was about to head to bed, when I entered. He motioned me to join him and I wondered if he didn't have a guest bedroom or something. "Could I maybe take a shower?"
He smirked "Why do you ask? Want me to join you again?"
I shook my head. "No I was just being polite. It's your house."
He shrugged. "Do what you want." I sighed and was just about to leave, when he started talking again. "When did Keith show up? I must have slept through it..."
"Sometime before you woke up."
"Ok 'til then have fun."
Before I left I stopped in the doorframe. I really didn't want to share a bed with him again. I think I had enough human touch for a whole week. "Don't you have a guest bedroom or something?"
He shrugged. "Yes, but I don't like sleeping on my own."
"And I don't like being touched..."
"But you need to get used to this." I frowned. I didn't really see a reason why I needed to. I lived long enough without it. "Well I like to keep you around, so you should get used to me."
I sighed. "I have no problem to help you out, but I'm not staying here forever. I have a life too. I need to work, earn money and other things. Even if I own you my life, I can't just throw everything away..."He seemed to think about this for a moment and didn't reply. "It's late and I really want to shower now. Can't we talk tomorrow about this?" He nodded and I went to have a shower.
The water felt good on my aching body and the shower gave me some time to think it all over without Brian on my case. I took a deep breath and recapped the last 24 hours. I had drunk way too much and had a slight nervous breakdown, which ended in me having an accident. Brian saved me and took me home. We then talked and somehow I ended up telling him the truth and accepting to help him. We still had not really talked about how we were going to do this and I had not the slightest idea how I was supposed to help him for real. He probably needed rather a therapy than me, but I guess he was tired of people telling him he was insane. I sighed. My life never could be easy, could it? At least one thing he had gotten right, I needed to spend time with him if I wanted to help him, but that seemed easier said than done. I had no idea what was in the Stones schedule, beside the upcoming show with the Who, Keith had mentioned, but I guess they were rather busy and I needed to work too. Furthermore our time was short, if something went wrong Brian had less than 9 months left... and I doubted that it was enough to tell him he could change his life around only if he tried, but what would be enough? And why did I even care so much? I mean he is not the first person I met who was going to die, but the first I really wanted to help. I owned him yes, but that couldn't be all. Well it was nice to know my gift could be useful and give somebody hope instead of just more stress for me. Maybe that was it? If I helped him, I might feel better about myself too? That sounded at least a lot more plausible. Whatever the reason, it was the right thing to do.
I finished up and put my own clothes on. It really felt better wearing my own clothes than Brian's, not that something was wrong with his things. It just seemed odd to me. I didn't even like wearing Mary's clothes and I knew her and Brian was still a stranger to me. Even though we actually experienced a lot the last 24 hours. I sighed. He probably was right too with the bit about me getting used to him. I had only known him high and not in the right mind, but now he was somewhat sober and different. I needed to adjust to that and even if that meant sleeping in his bed... Yesterday I had done the same, well I didn't really had a say in that matter, but anyway I had survived this. I could do it a second time. I mean he wouldn't keep me here forever and it was just a small thing.
I took a deep breath and entered his bedroom. He was laying in the bed and reading some book, but closed it when I entered and looked a bit surprised. He had probably doubted that I would turn up again. Well I would have. "I didn't believe you would actually come..."
"As long as you don't try anything funny, I'll stay... And I don't know where your guest bedroom is..."
He smiled. "Promise." He then put his book away and gestured me to get in to the bed next to him and I just did, but with some distance between us. He laughed and I glared at him. "You're like the first person I ever invited to bed who tried to stay as far as possible away from me..."
I rolled my eyes. "That's nothing personal if that's a comfort for you..."
"Yeah yeah I get it now. You don't like people touching you." He said as he grabbed my arm. The vision was different from the others. He was fighting with somebody I couldn't recognise, but it was definitely a man. He pushed him hard. Brian hit his head on something and then darkness. The rest was the usual. Water. Suffocating. Death. 03071969. The vision had changed again, but what did that mean? The date was still the same as the first one, but he didn't have a head injury then. What was going on?
The first thing I remarked when I got out of the vision was Brian, he was looking at me questioning and his eyes still as sad as ever. "What did it say now?"
"It... I don't understand." I stuttered. I really didn't know what was going on, if I didn't what could I possibly tell him. "It was different, but the date... it's the same as before."
He sighed and looked away. "That means I'm still going to die in a year?"
"I- I don't know... This is... It makes no sense... In the first it was an accident or a "Suicide I wanted to say, but I didn't know if that was a good idea. Brian looked at me awaiting, probably wanting me to finish my sentence. I sighed. "I don't know, but this time it was well... I wouldn't say murder, but you know..."
"Somebody killed me?" I nodded. "Did you see who?"
I shook my head. "Even if I did, I don't know if it would be a good idea to tell you..."He looked crestfallen and I really felt bad for him. I had given him some hope only to take it away in the cruellest way possible. "Maybe it will change again..."I tried, but Brian didn't seem to react. He was looking so out of it that I doubted that he had even heard me. "Brian?" I tried again and this time he looked up. I probably would have jumped out of bed if he wasn't still holding me. He looked furious.
"You're a liar!" He yelled. "Get the fuck out!" I didn't react, I was still too surprised. That's when he pushed me out of bed and I fell to the ground with a thud. "Get away from me!" He screamed.
I wanted to say something, but I doubted he would listen. He was too enraged. I sighed, got up, grabbed my things and left him alone in his bedroom. I decided to call Mary, she would probably give me a lift if she was at home, but before I had dialled the number I stopped. What was I supposed to tell her? Brian got angry and threw me out? I would never live that down...especially since I had left the small detail out that I was staying at his. I sighed. I better just call a cab and went on... There was just the problem that I had no money and I doubted Brian would lend me some. Then it hit me, whom I could call and who wouldn't ask too many questions. Keith! I just hoped he was home. I dialled the number and waited for somebody to pick up. I nearly lost hope until I heard a 'Hello?'
"Hi Keith, eh it's me Charlie." I nervously said. It had sounded like a good idea at first but I didn't really know how to broach the topic.
"Hi, Charlie! Let me guess you got into a fight with Brian and he threw you out?" I sighed relieved. Keith had definitely been the right choice.
"Yes, you could say that..." I mumbled.
"And know you want me to pick you up?"
"If that's fine with you?"
"Sure just give me a minute. See you!" And with that he hung up. At least I had a ride now... I'll better get all of my things together, I thought and made my way quietly over to the bathroom and assembled the rest of my clothing. Then made my way over to the door, put my shoes and my coat on and left Brian's house. My shoes were still somewhat wet, but that wasn't really that surprising considering I hadn't really done anything to dry them off.
It was cold, but I rather waited outside than risking running into Brian. I sighed, if he threated everyone like this I could nearly understand how he ended up death. I shook my head. No nobody deserved such a fate, but at least I could see what Keith had meant. Brian hadn't been the nicest since I've met him, but after we had cleared up a few things I thought it maybe would be better and he had been pretty nice until my vision... But could I really blame him? I just had told the poor guy that he was going to be killed by somebody... His reaction was a bit drastic but at least somewhat reasonable. I mean I haven't done anything wrong, I was just trying to help, but maybe that was the problem? I probably shouldn't have bothered, I never did and now I thought it was a good idea, only because he had saved me? I should have left everything like it was. He maybe would have died, but he wouldn't have to know about it until it happened and then it would be too late. Now he was living in fear, knowing that he was going to die and couldn't do a bloody thing about it.
I probably should really leave and never come back. Mary would be fine on her own, Mr. Evan would find someone different, who would take over my job and Brian or Keith would probably be better if I stayed away. However there was one major flaw in my plan, I had next to no money. If I really wanted to get away I needed to save up a bit more. One or maybe two months would probably give me enough time to arrange everything and then I could be gone.
I don't know how long I had been standing here until a car finally turned up. It was Keith and I was more than glad to see him. I could have hugged him despise my no touching rule. All he said was a 'I told you so', I just shrugged.
"So now what?" He asked as I took place in the passenger's seat.
"Home, I guess?"
"You know, you could always come to mine." He proposed, but I shook my head.
"I think I had enough sleepovers for a lifetime..." I mumbled.
He laughed. "That bad? The last time I saw you, you looked quite cosy... And you've never been to one of mine. They are the best."
"Thanks, but I'm really tired and just want some sleep..."
"Well mine's closer."
I sighed. "Let me guess, you won't give up 'til I said yes?"
He laughed. "Maybe? Is it working?"
I had to smile despise everything. Keith just had that effect on you. "Not really. Please just take me home."
"Aww you're missing all the fun!"
I just smiled. Keith really knew how to cheer me up, at least a bit. I still felt pretty bad for Brian and well because still my body hurt like hell, but I at least had a friend. When we arrived, I offered him a tea and we sat down on the couch. I guessed he was curious about what exactly happened between me and Brian, but knew better than to ask directly, instead he told me some fun story when he was a teenager and that he actually had once been studying art. That kind of surprised me, but that Mick had been studying economics seemed even stranger. It was odd how their whole life had suddenly taken a whole new direction. I never studied anything or was very bright at school. I just sat there and wished nobody bothered me. Most of the time I spend in the library, not because I liked reading, but it was quiet and hardly anyone was in there. I loved to paint, but it wasn't something I could have made money out of it, so I never followed a career in that domain and working at a funeral parlour had seemed the best place for somebody who had visions about death.
But hearing Keith now talking about meeting Mick at a station and then deciding to follow their dream, made me realise how sad my life really was. I never had a dream, besides maybe getting rid of my visions, but that probably would never happen. It just had seemed like a waste of time. In school there had been this guy who always dreamed about becoming the next Jesse Owens. He was running around, training like a mad men and for what? He died in a car crash at 16, never able to fulfill his dream and he wasn't the only one. I maybe only saw the end of somebody's life, but most of the time it was enough to know which course it was going to take.
"Maybe I should go? You seem tired." Sometime during his story I had just zoned out. It had been a long day and some sleep would probably be for the best, but I didn't want to throw him just out like that. He had helped me a great deal without even knowing me and without asking any questions.
"It wasn't Brian's fault, it was mine. I said something to him I shouldn't have..."
Old. Death. Keith had taken my hand and shook his head. "I'm sure you're not the one to blame. Brian, he's... the drugs. You saw him. It's nowadays easier to be on his bad side than his good." He had a good intention, but he was wrong. I really was the one to blame. Brian might have overreacted, but I hadn't really thought ahead...
"Maybe, but I just wanted you to know that Brian is not at fault... I don't want to cause any more trouble."
"In other words I shouldn't confront him about it?" I nodded and he sighed. "Ok I won't say a word about it, if you promise to come to our show on the 11th?"
"Only if I can bring Mary too."
He smiled. "Deal."
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Preview for the next chapter:
He was probably the most colourful thing we ever had here. If someone ever looked out of place it was Brian in a funeral parlour. He was still looking around and didn't say a word and I surely wouldn't be the first to say something. He had come to see me, so I guessed it was his turn to say something, because I highly doubted he was here to arrange his funeral. It was quiet for a few more moments, when I thought he finally was about to say something, Mr Evan interrupted him.
"Charlie, can't you see we have a customer?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, can I help you in anyway?"
Brian just looked dumbfounded at him, but then cleared his throat. "Eh... I'm here to talk to Charlie."