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Feel free to comment anything y'all!! I spent hours at the DMV getting my license address changed that day before yesterday... My mom's death anniversary was yesterday and I was at the marina and sleeping all day. I just didn't feel like talking or communicating with anybody. That's why I didn't update yet, hope you guys can understand 💕.... Even though I'm falling asleep rn, still had to update for my adorable, supportive boo's!!
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Part 2.
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Alisha POV
The gift was so meaningful.
I couldn't stop crying because it meant so much to me.
It was the exact same painting I had since I was six years old. My grandma got it for me when she passed and I looked at it everyday for years when I was old enough to be responsible for it to hang up in my room. The painting wasn't weird at all...
It was just different.
So when I put it away to paint my apartment room again because I got sick of the old color, one of my college friends stepped on in by accident and her whole foot went right through the middle of the canvas... I was so devastated that I cried for weeks about it.
That painting meant everything to me... Ky's gift was the exact same painting except brand new.
I don't even know how he got it or found it after all this time.
It was a black and grey water painting of New York during a cold winter, with a red healthy flower growing from the middle of the busy, cold streets.
It brought out such a beautiful feeling and vibe when you looked at it.
I was so happy that I had the picture again.... I felt like I had nothing else to worry about.
The painting was so antique and old school that when I looked for it for months, I just couldn't find it. And me being the FBI agent that I am, it was ever harder to accept that I wasn't gonna find it.
I was so shocked that Ky remembered because it happened in the wayyy beginning of our relationship and I didn't talk about it after it happened.
I tried to stop my crying but I couldn't stop my emotions from coming to the surface.
He rubbed my back soothingly as everybody gushed over us...
I breathed out at my decision.
This stuck out to me. This was it.
I was rethinking my decision of leaving EVEN MORE now.
I currently had my whole life planned out in Texas... I made payments on everything and had my new job that paid more, waiting for me... But even after all that, I didn't know if I wanted to go. I didn't tell anybody that I truly felt this way because I didn't want anybody to tell me 'I told you so'.
As Ky held me close to him, it took me awhile to get it together but I did and eventually started saying bye to everybody after hanging out for about another two hours.
It was emotional but happy at the same time.
As I said bye to everybody individually outside, family members and friends repeatedly told me that I'm not going anywhere because of Ky so they said they would see me in a couple days.
I just laughed to myself.
Saved the best for last...
When it was time to say bye to Ky, Monè was already in the car.
I guess she still feelin some type of way about when I had to flash on her shit infront of everybody. I didn't give a fuck than and I still don't now.
I breathed out, relieved, at how it was just Ky and I. Everybody else was somewhere else talking, in the house or gone.
He stood by my car on his crutches looking at me.
Something was on his mind and he looked like he needed to say something... But didn't seem like he wanted to.
I looked at him and we looked deep in eachother's eyes for a second.
My insides started to tingle and my heart started jumping around in my chest as my body temperature escalated.
"I'm gonna miss you" he said lowly as he blinked slow.
I looked away and smiled weakly.
I had to say goodbye to him 😔
"Me too" I whispered to myself with my arms still crossed.
We were officially saying goodbye and I wasn't emotionally ready for all that. It was too much.
I sniffed a little and breathed out.
"I don't know if I'm gonna see you before I leave but you know you can talk to me right?.... I see under all that covering up that you do" I spoke seriously as I looked at him.
He looked down with his lips sucked in before he looked back up.
"I know... You always have been" he replied.
I smiled to myself as I absorbed our moment.
"Thank you... For the picture. Really" I said sincerely. "It means a lot" I added.
"It's the least I could do for everything that you did for me" he spoke with a small smile.
"Boy please. That was just somethin light" I shrugged it off making him laugh.
I smiled as I listened to him laugh.... He didn't laugh NEAR as much as he used to so when he did, I liked to hear it.
We just stood there staring at eachother for a second before I spoke.
I was gonna kiss him if he didn't get out my face.
I breathed out as I walked into his body. I slowly and carefully wrapped my arms around his body and gently laid my head against his chest.
I closed my eyes comfortably as he wrapped his arms around me.
I was safe.
I than felt kisses ontop of my head, I couldn't help but smile to myself.
I needed to break our moment before I got carried away... He used to always kiss the top of my head.
"I'll see you when I see you?" I asked him softly as I smelled his cologne.
"... Yea" he responded lowly with his head ontop of mine.
I lifted my head up slowly to feel a sweet kiss on my cheek.
I grinned and blushed.
"Oh gosh" I said trying to cover up my face as I let go of him.
He busted up laughing at my reaction as he placed his crutches back in place.
I giggled for a second.
"Bye Ky" I said with a warm smile.
He blinked slowly as he looked at me with a warm smile before it went away.
"I'll see you around" he said sadly.
I got one last look of him just incase I wasn't going to see him again.
I found it in myself to turn around and get in my car.
I began to drive off to my soon to be old apartment, while trying not to look back.
This was a mistake.
Ky POV
*Next Day*
I cried myself to sleep last night to my mom.
She used to be in and out of my life but after she got out of rehab for the sixth time, she's finally clean.
We finally are able to communicate the way we were always supposed to now... So when I need her for serious things like this.
She's there.
So I drove to her house in Compton and broke... the fuck... down.
I don't think I've ever become so real with the term 'I lost her' like the way I did last night.
My mother knows exactly what causes my feelings towards women because of how I was treated when I was younger.
My mother gave me the benefit of the doubt but didn't at the same time.. She told me that I shouldn't have been playing around with her daughter-in-law in the first place and just been official with her from the jump.
I feel like my mother doesn't see certain sides of things but I know she doesn't mean any harm... Anymore.
She loves Alisha like her own daughter and hates Monè like her own enemy.
The thought made me close my eyes stressfully for a split second.
... When I say Alisha left, I meant she left my life because she did. She left in many more ways than just one... AND ontop of that, she was moving thousands of miles away...
Ughhh.
I drove myself back home today even though I was paranoid to be driving again, I sat at home after physical therapy and thought of a way that I would be able to see her.
I needed to see her again.
I called Carter and he said I could go pick up a box of antiques that Alisha was gonna have to drop off. He suggested that I go get it so I could see her again.
Perfect.
I thanked him and hung up.
I called Alisha and my heart started bouncing around when she answered. I told her why I needed to get the box and she thanked me for saving her the trip.
She said she was gonna be leaving as soon as I got it though. I was sad about that but this was my last opportunity.
I needed to try to subliminally tell her that I still wanted her.
I pulled up and got out. I struggled for a minute and grabbed my crutches. I noticed a big U-Haul outside infront of her apartment.
I stared at it for a minute before I took a deep breath to prepare myself as I headed towards the front door.
I knocked on the door and it was so different to be here again... I still felt very 'at home' like I always did though.
Seconds later, the door opened and I grinned at the sight of Alisha.
She laughed at how big I was smiling and gave me a hug.
I wanted that hug to last forever but it was even MORE short because she had to leave quickly.
She had her purse in her hand and the box one the floor next to her.
I looked at her for a second.
She was so sexy, I tried not to bite my lip.
She had on a white pencil skirt with a yellow blouse. She had heels on her feel also.
Her legs and he- I needa stop before I get hard 💯
She grabbed her keys and when she bent down to get the box, I looked behind her and everything was packed up in boxes.
It was so empty.
I frowned until she looked up, I put on a fake smile when she glanced at me.
She handed it to me and I took it. It was a smaller box.
She was in a rush lightweight.
She stepped next to me and started locking the door with her work bag over her shoulder also.
She headed towards her car with me moving slowly behind her.
"Alisha" I said getting her attention.
"I'm sorry. I never got to apologize, I didn't-" I began genuinely but she cut me off when she realized where I was headed.
"You don't have to apologize... I'll see you around okay?" She said with a smile that made my heart heat up before she got in her car.
I slowly nodded as I tried to pick up the pieces of my heart.
She pulled off quickly and waved to me before she dipped out.
I tried to catch my breath back.
I lost her 😔
Alisha POV
It was 11 p.m. and I was home by myself. Shay left after spending hours with me along with everybody else at my apartment.
I was now just sitting here in a grey tank top, purple plaid pajama pants and Uggs.
I'm leaving and he was just gonna let me go.
Ky.
Ky was gonna let me go.
Thousands of miles away from him.
I was moving to fucking Texas tomorrow and he wasn't even trippin.
I shook my leg as I sat on the kitchen counter and looked at my empty apartment.
I was going through it mentally right now....
I looked at the clock as my flight time got closer and closer.
I hopped off the counter and went towards the foyer.
I grabbed my keys and opened the front door with confidence.
I gotta fight for what I want 💯
Thirty minutes later, I pulled up to his apartment complex.
It's crazy how I went from being here all the time, to not being here at all.
I erased the thought and parked.
I got out and went up to his apartment before knocking on the door.
I heard the TV on so I knew he was up... I was so suddenly furious for some reason.
I heard the door opening and Ky appeared.
"You do!" I yelled pushing his chest, making him go backwards a little as I breathed hard. "You need to apologize for what you did!" I spoke hurt.
He was in shock and confused while catching his footing back carefully.
"What?" He asked me as I closed the door behind me and locked it out of habit.
"I shouldn't have cut you off earlier you need to apologize for getting with Monè" I responded with my eyebrows clenched.
He was taking it all in.
"Why do you care?... Why are you even here?" He asked simply like he didn't even know me.
"Because I have to fight for what I want and I want you" I stated proudly, looking in his eyes.
It was real simple.
My flight was in about 6 hours and there was two end results... Either I wasn't going to leave without telling him how I felt regardless and getting shot down or I wasn't going to leave at all.
Of course I wanted the second option more than anything but their was a possibility that certain things might not happen.
He stood there and studied me before he chuckled to hisself for a second.
He was so emotionless.
My head was still held high while I waited for him to respond... It didn't seem like he was going to or if he was, it was gonna be to hurt my feelings.
"Stop being scared Ky!" I raised my voice. He knew he was scared and couldn't even deny it.
He got serious at my statement and just looked at me... Not just any look.
A look of hurt.
"You were gonna leave Alisha" He spoke harshly. "Without even talking to me about it" he added.
He couldn't have his cake and eat it too.
I breathed hard.
"Because I didn't think I had any reason to stay!" I exclaimed. "And come on now, let's not act like we were even on speaking terms" I added with slight attitude.
He already knew this but every time I said I didn't have a reason to stay, his body language changed along with his mood.
I ran my hands down my face and breathed out stressfully.
"What..." He said looking me up and down. "I'm not worth staying for?" He asked me with tears suddenly building up in his eyes and his jaw clenching.
I was caught off guard by how quickly he showed his emotions.
"Yes! Why do you think I'm here?!... You were just gonna let me go anyways weren't you?" I asked hurt and my nostrils flared.
He looked around before he looked at the ground for a minute.
"You were!! But fuckin guess what... I've been in love with you this WHOLE time!!" I yelled helplessly.
My comment got his attention... He never heard it from my mouth.
He got out of his daze and after watching me confess my love for him, he slowly looked around before he sniffed.
"You think you could just come over here and I would be yours like that?" He snapped his fingers with a eyebrow raised.
When I didn't say anything, he let out another low chuckle.
"Just go get another friend with benefits yo" He said waving need off like I meant nothing to him.
What?.... 😔
"When did you become so cold?" I asked in shock, confused.
Ky POV
"When you left" I said simply right after she asked the question, my whole body was getting hot. "So go get another friend with benefits" I said as I basically dismissed her with my words.
She twisted her face up "I haven't even had sex since you".
She hasn't? Damn. Now I knew she was serious.... We both couldn't go damn near one day without doing something nasty to eachother... I was proud of her but I wasn't gonna show it.
I clapped "GREAT job Alisha I'm so happy for you" I said negatively.
She looked down for a second.
"Why are you so upset..." she asked softly and calm with a gentle blink.
I was miserable this ENTIRE time, when she could've just told me how she felt and I would've been happy because it would've been me and her.
"Because you don't randomly come to me and say some shit like this after MONTHS!!" I semi-yelled looking her dead in her face.
She smacked her mouth.
"Would you have rather me say it when I didn't mean it!?" She asked seriously as she scrunched up her eyebrows and tilted her head.
She had a point.
I couldn't even say anything.
I was about to speak when I glanced up at her to see her biting the inside of her cheek with her eyebrows scrunched to keep herself from crying.
She couldn't hold her emotions back when she started talking.
"I was gonna tell you that one day I had to talk to you. That whole conversation was supposed to be about you and me.... Not you and her" She said genuinely as she used soft and slow hand gestures while talking weakly as heavy tears ran down her face, her eyelashes wet, making her blink. She was breathing unevenly.
I knew exactly what day she was talking about... Monè cut her off when she was talking to me and now I understood the situation, now I knew why she disappeared right after.
My heart softened. Now I truly understood.
"I don't know why you got with her... Pretending like she cares about you" she spoke seriously.
We both knew it was true.
"She makes you happy?" She asked and I couldn't even look her in her face... Lying ain't what I do so I couldn't even say anything...
Once again.
"You can't say I didn't love you because I had to love you from a distance. Who do you think got you that 'care package' when you were sick? Who do you think made and got the list for your groceries when you were falling apart? Who do you think did your laundry after work when your washer broke?... Shay would've done it but she didn't. I told her I would because I wanted to" She explained.
I paid real attention to what she was saying. I really didn't know that it was her even though I kind of suspected it sometimes.
"And I'm still waiting for you to say that you care about her in any type of way" She exclaimed seriously.
I couldn't deny it so I changed the subject...
I laughed. "We should just leave it at this Alisha okay....? I have a new life now. I am a changed pers-" she cut me off.
"Than I don't know if I want that picture anymore because it was from you.... Therefore it's going to the thing that I can't live without so I don't want to have to keep track of it so closely like that" she said folding her arms and holding herself. "Because by the way that your talking to me, I think that's gonna be the only thing I have left of you" she said, looking up in my eyes...
The salt water in her eyes glistened off of the reflection that the lights caused.
My heart sank.
She thought to herself for a second.
"No! Fuck that!! I'm not gonna do that for you!" She yelled. "You don't get the easy way out!" She yelled stepping closer to me.
She was full blown upset now but I had to shoot her down.
"Alisha.... Please, get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. YOU took the easy way out. You think I WANTED to fall in love with you!?" I paused. "YOU said you didn't love me back right? So what's the problem now?" I asked clenching my jaw with my eyebrows slightly raised.
She smacked her teeth like I was supposed to understand.
"Kyyyyy!" She whined.
"Don't 'Kyyyy' nothin!" I said mocking her.
She looked at me for a second as if she was trying to figure out who I was.
"Why are you being so mean to me?" She asked with a look of pain in her eyes.
My heart automatically softened again.
I didn't answer because I didn't have one... I didn't know why I was being so cruel to her. It was true that I had never been like this to her before, even at the slightest.
We just stood there for a second while I stared at the ground before she spoke.
"You don't wanna fix it?" Alisha softly asked me with tears in her eyes sincerely as a weak smile of hurt portrayed on the beautiful lips that I used to always kiss sweetly and passionately.
I couldn't look at her or I was gonna break... I did have a answer but it wasn't exactly appropriate for the mean, solid role I was trying to play.
I looked at the ground with my face soft so she couldn't see.
"Why were you with her after you told me that you would never be in a relationship unless you were in love with the person?" She asked me softly.
I could tell by the way she asked it that my response was going to genuinely mean a lot to her so I had to chose my words wisely.
I loosened my grip on the counter that I backed myself up against, minutes ago.
"She replaced where you were supposed to be" I said before I slowly looked up at her.
She let out a harsh, painful breath to herself.
"I'm sorry" she apologized with so much sincerity that it ate my heart up.
"Whatever... Don't trip over it. I already accepted things for what they were. Just like how you did when I got with Monè right?" I said cockily with my eyebrow raised.
This was out of character for me but I was hurt.
She looked at me like she didn't know who I was.
I let out a breath.
"You never cared or thought about me after you guys got together did you?" She spoke so simply that it pissed me off. She added a weak, hurt laugh.
She was the ONLY thing I thought about.
"I didn't care!?" I yelled with my hand to my chest in shock at her words, as if I was shocked that she was talking to me.
I could tell my sudden loudness and choice of words, that it hurt her even more.
"That's why I was the one who thought about your STUPIDass every day... every fucking second... of every fucking minute" I snapped.
She flinched at my voice. I didn't feel bad, she was gonna hear this.
"I was dumb at the time Ky! I didn't realize how you felt. How could you be mad at me for that?!" She yelled with her hands out confused.
"I'm showing you EXACTLY how I could be mad at you for that!!" I raised my voice pointing my finger at her as I crutched and stepped closer to her causing her to back up against the wall.
She still didn't back down.
Typical Alisha.
"YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING!!" She yelled with her face twisted up, mad.
"Please" I chuckled a sinister laugh for a second "spare me the fu-" I said like a smartass before she cut me off.
"NO!!" She yelled putting her hand up. "YOU DON'T GET TO SIT THERE AND TALK SHIT BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO BE A BITCH" she emphasized 'bitch' as she mushed my face hella hard.
I was PISSED.
Alisha POV
He was breaking my heart all over again.
"WHAT?!!" He snapped, getting closer to me.
I wasn't gonna back down even though his voice was making me flinch and my nerves shaky.
"I SAID -" I began but he cut me off by punching the wall behind me with his burned arm, a little over my head to the side, blasting a huge hole in the wall.
I jumped.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALISHA!!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" He yelled in my face. I began getting more teary eyed.
He was so mad.
"DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SAY YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME IN THE WAY THAT I LOVED YOU !!?!" He screamed causing me to flinch at almost all his words.
"Yes" I whispered with no eye contact with my voice cracking.
"WHAT!!?" He yelled causing me to jump again.
"Yes" I said with my voice a little louder, looking at the ground as tears ran down my face.
"You think this is a fuckin joke don't you?" He said.
I didn't say anything, I just let the tears collect on my chin after they went down my face.
"Speaking of funny. I actually have something very ironic to that. Hold on" He said smiling and disappeared into his room.
He was so hyped up that he was crutching quickly on his injured leg... That's how I knew he was enraged because I knew it hurt but his nerves and adrenaline was doing so much that he didn't even feel the pain.
I heard his one crutch coning towards me.
He held up a beautiful black box in his hand. He folded his arms and played with the box in his hand.
I studied the way his knuckles were tightened around the box. He was so mad at me.
"You know.... This ring was for you" He said tilting his hand with the ring in it towards me and giving me a quick glance with his eyebrows raised while moving on his crutch extremely slow.
My heart couldn't be any more damaged.
I hung my head down lower if it was even possible and fought my tears but they surely didn't budge.
How could I be so fucking stupid?
Why did I do this to myself?
"But you see, the funny part is.... Is that I thought about giving it to her. Even if it was for a split second" He said pointing to the picture of him and Monè on the counter that I didn't even notice.
They looked so happy.... I could've sworn that it wasn't there yesterday.
"You left me. You fucking left me.
You left me and than you didn't fight for me while KNOWING that you were in love with me. You want to know what the fuck I'm scared of? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared to move. I'm scared to breathe. I'm scared to touch you. I can't lose you. I will NOT survive. And that's YOUR fucking fault. YOU made me love you. You made me let you in and than you fucking left" he said as painful tears slid down his face.
I felt so bad 😔.
I just gently closed my eyes and let the tears that were building up in my eyes fall. I sucked my lips in and opened my eyes to see him throwing the ring on the couch.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!?" He screamed causing me to jump again, while looking at me in disgust. He looked so hurt. "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST COME OVER HERE AND EVERYTHING WAS GONNA GO IN YOUR FAVOR?!" He yelled.
"I DID NOTHING BUT FUCKING LOVE YOU!!" He yelled matter of factly.
"I'm sorry" I tried to whisper, wiping my tears that wouldn't stop.
I was embarrassed.
He didn't want me anymore.
"I swear you make me fuckin hate you sometimes! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!!.... I GAVE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING FIBER OF MY BEING TO YOU....... And look what you did with it" Ky yelled in my face while pointing his finger over my head with ever word. I was already crying my eyes out while he yelled at me.
Seconds later, he took a step back.
I finally looked up at him.
His eyes were green. That meant he was really hurt and emotional. I know what his eye colors mean... His veins were popping out. He was red. His eyebrows were scrunched up closely and he was breathing heavily. He was so hurt and mad.
The man I was in love with stopped loving me because I took too long to realize how I felt about him.
It was over.
I looked down for a couple seconds and sniffed.
"I can go if you wan-" I said, heading to the door with tears heavily rolling down my face. I made about 3 steps away from where we had a screaming match at, until I suddenly felt a arm go against my stomach and wrap around my waist to stop me in place.
Seconds later, he spoke.
"Please stay" he begged sadly. "I will never love anybody the way that I love you" he softly whispered while I put my face in my hands as I cried silent tears before he pulled me to his strong chest. I heard his crutch hit the floor as he gently ran his muscular, yet soft hands slowly up my arms, to my shoulders, up my neck and placed his hands on the sides of my face as he brought his plump, soft lips to mine....
Ky POV
I wasn't gonna let the only female I have ever loved get away again. I might say dumb shit without even thinking but I'm not no goddamn fool 💯
This whole relationship with Monè could've been avoided but I decided to be dumb.
I was so mad simply because I couldn't control how I felt about Alisha. She didn't love me back when I told her, it destroyed me because as much as I hate to admit it.... I knew I couldn't even love anybody else the way I love Alisha.
"I'm sorry" I whispered, lovingly kissing her tear stained cheeks.
She lightly cried as we kissed with deep meaning.
"Your not going anywhere" I whispered seriously as I slowly and passionately kissed my way to her neck as tears ran down her beautiful face...
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65 votes to continue :).
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