Chapter twenty three
Broken
This was wrong and Jessie knew it. They should've gone back to the hut by now, try and find Sam, Tom and Billy. But after two days, they still hadn't moved. Every day, Jessie would climb up a tall tree and glance over the canopy of vegetation to check for smoke. It hadn't died down, which would make their trip to the hut useless and dangerous.
And then there was the other thing. Jessie rubbed the bridge of her nose. Kay's words spun inside her head like angry bees. He admitted it...I confronted him...He dared say I'm senselessly complicating things.
She'd never admit it to Kay, but Jessie believed Kyle was right. She was making matters worse. How could she believe Kyle liked Alice? But Kay insisted he'd admitted it. When Jessie tried to explain about Kyle's blackouts, she'd looked at her as if she were crazy. Said it wasn't how his blackouts worked.
Bulling Alice into admitting her lies hadn't worked either. It only railed her up to cause even more trouble. Jessie should've ended the fight Kay and Alice had in the hut much sooner. That way, Kay would've never believed her now.
Instead, Kay and Kyle were furious at each other and Alice pranced around with a wide grin on her face. Stupid, stupid Alice!
The only reason Jessie wasn't tearing her to pieces was Jimmy. He had no idea about her part in Kyle and Kay's fight. She ached to tell him, but knew it wouldn't do him any good.
"Any luck with Kay?"
Jessie jumped. Jimmy stood right behind her, looking very fed up.
"Nope. And by the looks of it, you didn't do much better either."
"Kyle's hella pissed."
Jessie slapped her forehead. "This is just what we needed. Kyle and Kay fighting. As if the past days haven't been horrible enough without this." Tears prickled her eyes, but she contained herself.
"Kyle had a bad one. He almost punched my head off." Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think you should watch him anymore. At least I can immobilize him until he calms down."
"Why is this happening to him? What did Jerry say when you told him?"
"Well..." Jimmy raised his eyebrows. "Jerry unexpectedly wants to have a look for himself. He's come round since the explosions. He wants to talk to Kyle, but can't spike up the nerve yet."
Jessie sighed. "At least some good came out of all this."
*
Jerry paced outside Kyle's tent. He had to go in. He wanted to see what Kyle's trances were like for himself, but it wasn't that easy. It'd been weeks since he'd last spoken to his brother. He couldn't pretend none of that happened, though he wished he could. He wished he could make the last weeks disappear.
Kyle stepped out of his tent. Jerry bumped into him and fell off his feet. He sat up, rubbing his back. Kyle had his arms outstretched, as if he'd wanted to catch him but changed his mind at the last moment. He closed his fists, lowered his arms and walked away.
"Kyle, wait." Jerry scrambled to his feet and followed.
Kyle turned to face him. "You're kidding, right?"
Jerry stopped at a safe distance. Kyle suddenly looked scary. "You're...you're okay, aren't you?" He swallowed. "Not in a trance."
Kyle's eyes narrowed. "You can't even tell the difference, can you?"
"Look, it's serious. Jimmy told me all about it and I think we should try to find the cause—"
"Jerry, I'm not sure you've realized, but you're talking to me."
Jerry nodded. "Yes, I know."
"Don't you think it's a bit late to play worried brother?"
Jerry cringed. "No. You're not well. I want to help." His words poured out faster as Kyle's eyebrows threatened to disappear in his hair. "And I demand you make up with Kay!" That had come out as an order. Jerry almost slapped his hand over his mouth, but masked the gesture by scratching his nose.
Kyle squinted at him, but Jerry had the strange feeling he was about to laugh.
"Yeah, I demand that too, but it ain't happening." Kyle walked away.
Jerry followed. "Come on, Kyle. This is no time for wounded prides."
"How convenient for you," Kyle mumbled.
He stopped abruptly and Jerry ran into his back. He regained his balance and peeked over Kyle's shoulder. Kay stood before him, her arms crossed over her chest. Jerry felt the need for a hole to hide in.
"Hello," Kay said, stiffly.
"Oh, cut the crap," Kyle snarled. "I thought you weren't talking to me. And you know what? If you don't believe me, you shouldn't."
Kay's arms fell alongside her body, her fists clenched. "I can't believe you! I was expecting the least bit of remorse out of you."
"Remorse? I didn't screw up. You're the one picking a fight."
"It's you who can't settle on a girl. If you liked Alice, you should have said so, not pretend that nothing's changed. It's not like I wasn't expecting you to move on."
"Alice?" There was enough poison in Kyle's voice to kill someone. "What the hell are you talking about? Alice is the most annoying creature on this earth. Why would I even look at another girl when I have you? After all we've been through, you think I'd actually pull something like this? I thought you knew me."
Kay turned a delicate shade of pink. "You admitted that you liked her. You asked her out at home."
"What?" Kyle almost gagged. "I did not!"
"Um, Kay, he really didn't," Jerry said in a low voice.
Kay scowled at him, her chin quivering. Jerry was reminded of his mother when she got angry and couldn't help but step back.
"Don't you think it's a little late to back him up?" she said. "You didn't bother to speak to him when Sam was alive." Her voice cracked.
Jerry took in a sharp breath, trying to ignore that comment. She was right, of course she was. "You two should make up."
"And you're saying that because we're loud? Would you like us to keep it down?" Kyle asked.
"No. You're hurting each other. It's bad enough as it is—"
"So you suddenly decided you care how Kyle feels," Kay said, her voice drowned in tears. "You probably wish he were dead instead of Sam."
Jerry shook his head desperately, denying the very false accusation, but Kay sank her face in her hands, crying.
"I warned you I would beat the living daylights out of you if you made her cry again," Kyle said between his teeth.
Jerry stared from one to the other. He couldn't believe how fast they ganged up on him. For some reason, it made him happy. It meant they still cared about each other. The fight would blow over. He couldn't suppress a smile.
"What's so funny?" Kyle asked.
"Yes, please tell us. God knows we need a laugh," Kay said, wiping her eyes.
Jerry shrugged. "You two love each other. You're going to work it out."
Kyle and Kay gaped at him. As if pre-planned, they both turned to face opposite directions and walked away.
Jerry groaned and clutched his head. This was going to be harder than he thought. But at least Kyle was talking to him, even if aggressively. If he worked hard enough, he'd get him to come around.
Guilt weighed on his stomach like a concrete block. Was he trying to fill the hole Sam's death had left? No, that wasn't it. No one could ever replace Sam, Tom and Billy. Or Kyle for that matter. He was going to make up with his brother if it was the last thing he did.
*
Jessie held her breath, concentrating on the throbbing pain in her temple. Tears welled, but she swallowed and held them back. She wouldn't break down.
"Jessie, it's okay. You don't have to do this." Christine rubbed her arm. "I mean, I like your company, but it won't make me feel better overall." She hugged her knees. "Nothing would."
Christine's falling tears made Jessie jealous. She hadn't cried in days, as much as she felt the need to. Not even when alone. She reckoned it was cheating, but it was now bringing her down.
She moved to Christine and hugged her. "But it might help to talk."
"Talk about what? How much I'm going to miss Sam?" Christine sounded spiteful. "It's not fair. I'm eighteen. It shouldn't hurt this much." Her voice cracked. "I've only known him for a month. But I never imagined..." Christine raised her head to look at Jessie, her amber eyes swimming in tears. "He's the sweetest guy I've ever met. I've had loads more boyfriends before, but none of them were like this."
Jessie rubbed Christine's back, letting her cry on her shoulder. Sam was sweet. She missed the three of them, too.
"You should go." Christine pushed her away. "I need to be alone."
Jessie nodded and stepped out of Christine's tent. The sun was setting. Another day had gone by pointlessly. No one even dared asked what they were going to do about the ruby. She didn't care either way. For her, the world had reduced to daily chores, waiting for the smoke to disappear and pain. The future meant tomorrow and nothing more.
She walked aimlessly, trying to keep her mind as empty as possible, wishing there was someone she could confide in, wishing for a shoulder to cry on. Her first choice would've been Kyle, but what with his blackouts and the fight with Kay, her moaning was the last thing he needed. But everyone's pain was killing her.
The guitar. It wasn't much, but it was the only way she could let off some steam.
Author's note:
Yes, I know I'm late, and yes, I know nothing happens in this part of the chapter - all the good stuff is in the next part. But I know you'll enjoy this all the same. Don't forget to vote and/or comment, because apparently, people do, me included ;)