Happy Birthday to my girl jessmb94 ! Thank you for all that you've done for me and for the amazing conversations and friendship we've had.
I hope that your day ends well and this songs for you :D It makes me happy and i hope it can put a smile on your face.
Chapter Fifty-Four – Where They Construct A House
Julian's Pov
I honestly couldn't believe that Bailey had said yes to this. I expected to argue with her a couple weeks before she finally gave in and let it happen. The owners wanted this thing gone; not surprising it was costing them probably ten thousand dollars a month. It had been sitting four months because no one wanted to take on the cost of completely redoing the inside.
We closed in a week on it, long enough to rush papers and Bailey and I spent that time meeting contractors there. The house was probably unnecessarily huge, but I did love it.
We hired multiple contractors to work on different floors of the house to get it done in five weeks. Once we had all contracts signed we walked through the house with them and it took an entire day, but we made clear what we wanted and they took notes on it to come up with a design.
Bailey was the one who was going to be signing off on everything, I was down to a little less than three months remaining on my contract deadline and I had way too much work left to do. I would have preferred to spend the next five weeks checking in on the house and going shopping with Bailey and Mia, but that wasn't possible.
My label didn't care that I was moving in with my girlfriend, well maybe Kara did. It wasn't the best timing on my part but I wasn't going to regret it; not when Bailey's signature was right under mine on those documents.
I did however have to take a few days off when the design of the kitchen wasn't right and Bailey spent four days arguing with the designer. The kitchen was going to be the hardest and take the longest; Bailey had given them quite a task. I didn't point it out to her and I was adamant about them not discussing costs with her.
But this kitchen was going to cost a fortune. The walls would have stone on them; there would be double ovens, wrap around counters, a huge island with a stove and sink in the middle. A pizza oven in there and god knows what else.
I had no idea what colors she wanted, only that the cupboards on the bottom and the ones on the top were two different colors and that the doors on top were glass. It was a huge task, big enough that it was their sole focus and the owner had to find more guys to bring in to work on the rest of the floor.
And with that large task, we had no time to argue with a designer who didn't want to do their job. This was our home and i didn't care what he thought would look better. I threatened to fire the company and the owner had a new designer do a walk through with Bailey the very next day and she had a design worked up by the end of that same day. I was actually pleasantly surprised that she was being so picky with it. It was her dream kitchen and it gave me a huge amount of pride to be able to give that to her.
Her face lit up when she asked me about flooring and counters, when she thought about paint and a back splash. She was debating on a lot of things and she had so many ideas, she wasn't sure just what she wanted to go with.
I realized though that she had never had what she wanted growing up. She never got to pick the clothes she wore with her mother picking them out, she never got to study what she wanted and she never got to make her own decisions. Though she was glad she was clean, it still wasn't her choice. She had grown up doing what her parents asked and being smacked around by them. She was abandoned by her brother and she fell into drugs and now, now I was finally able to give her everything she deserved.
Her heart and her caring nature was what were priceless and she gave it so willingly and freely. Money was just money to me and I had no reservations on spending it on our future like she spent her love on us. I know money was superficial but I wanted her to have a perfect house that she loved, after everything she's done for me and for us, she deserved at least that.
I understood that she didn't want to at first because she felt like I was just buying her. It's taken her almost two years to realize that wasn't the case. It wasn't until I had really started getting into therapy and being more open with her that she was willing to allow me to spend this money for her; for us.
Bailey was different than any girl I had ever been with, we could live in a tiny two bedroom apartment and she would make it a home for the three of us, as long as I loved her with everything I had and took care of her, she would be happy; that was just the kind of person she was.
Bailey focused on the house and for three weeks let me just focus on the label and therapy. We only really spent time together discussing music, flooring or paint samples. We didn't see Mia much and she didn't mind spending two hours after school using the studio.
Saturday came when we were three weeks into the renovation and Bailey made breakfast and Mia was insistent on staying home. We had her come last weekend and she was bored out of her mind. So Bailey had lunch ready for Mia to throw together and Asked Mia to pull the crockpot out of the fridge and put it on at a certain time and we headed off to the studio.
Bailey has done her contribution to the album and mostly spent her time helping me with music arrangements and she put in some backup vocals for Kylie's song, little things to help with finishing touches.
We had eight songs left and four of them would be completely finished this week, there were just small changes and Bailey's song needed me to finish the music on it, if she would ever let me hear the damn thing. It did help a lot that Kylie could play the guitar too and that was one less song I had to figure out on that part.
"Hey Kylie, what are you doing here?" She was waiting when we got to the studio, her song was done and she looked over at Bailey.
"Can we have the room for five minutes?" She asked the few people in the room and they shrugged and left.
"What's going on?" I asked and Bailey looked to Kylie this time.
"We wanted to talk about something, Bailey told me you wrote a song about your suicide attempt, she didn't tell me what it was or anything about it though so don't look at her like that. But we wanted to show you some support. We've both been to that point and so we wrote something we wanted you to hear. We already did some music for it, but the drums are not our specialty." Those two girls had no business holding drumsticks.
"Okay." I said and they stood there
"It's for you." Kylie grabbed Bailey's hand and I clicked to turn the music on in the room.
Kylie's voice was the first I heard with Bailey's very faintly in the back at times. Their voices merged at the chorus and their voices sounded very sweet together actually. I've never heard them sing together like this and I could see the two of them doing an album together.
I knew Kylie was scared to be back in this industry and I knew Kara wanted to sign Bailey badly; it may be a good middle ground. The song was subtle, if they hadn't have told me I wouldn't have known the reason they wrote this. It was a song about being in a hard place in life and not giving up.
When they were finished they waited to hear what I had to say.
"Well?" Kylie asked
"Kara heard it?" I asked and Kylie nodded
"She's the only one, she said she would be happy to have another song by me but only if it's okay with you. Plus you know; drums." It always annoyed my father that I learned to play them. They were loud and obnoxious which was what drew me to them.
"I like it, you sing well together." I told them
"I agree." I jumped hearing her voice, god that woman had the worst timing ever.
"Kara." I greeted and she smirked
"Julian. And before you ask, there are camera's in here." Oh, well that made a little more sense then.
"Sneaky." She nodded
"So did you like it?" she asked me and this time I nodded.
"It was a good song." I didn't know how I felt about the reasoning behind it, but it was a good song none the less and a relatable one for anyone going through a hard time, not just the suicidal.
"Good enough that you can finish the music for it?" She asked me. It really didn't need much, the music was quite simple for it, this song was more about vocals with instruments lightly in the background to emphasize their beautiful voices.
"You're really burying me under sheet music, Kara." I could, but I did have four other songs that I was working on too, not to mention ones that still needed to be written. It would take me a couple weeks just to finish what was already started
"I'm just trying to get your album finished, they're very strict. You have sixty three more days." This last month has gone by so fast with this house. We were planning on telling everyone next weekend. Construction will be nearly finished and it will be when we can start having things delivered.
"Don't need a countdown." I needed that last song from Bailey so I can finish it, why not add that to the list of music I had to do.
"I know. On the plus side, three years before you have to have another one finished." Three years seemed reasonable.
"If they keep me." I reminded her.
"Finish the album and they will. They know that overall you're a good investment." I frowned at that. I was an investment. Well I guess it was good to know they still thought I was a good one.
"I'll get the songs done." I promised. Even if I didn't sleep until it was done and had to run off coffee and energy drinks, it would be finished on time.
"I know you will. Get Bailey to sign with us. You know we'll give her a generous deal." I laughed because obviously she didn't know Bailey.
"Kara, if she did sign over my dead body would I let you give her a shit contract. But the part you're missing is she doesn't give one fuck about the money. You would have to treat her right and be patient with her. Plus keep in mind that I can't write her music forever, you guys would have to have someone do that." I would make sure it was right and I would help if she asked, but I did have my own music to focus on.
My thoughts were that if I could just keep the creativity going and keep writing like I'm under a horrible deadline; I can get some songs going and have just that much more done. I was more concerned with what would happen after the album.
I wasn't ready to go on tour and honestly, I didn't want to leave Bailey and Mia.
"We would take care of her, you know I would." Kara would too, she did care.
"Kara bear" she fucking hated that nickname but it was deserved, her parents picked a pretty great name for her, a fitting one.
"Don't you have instruments to play with while I go do all the adult things and keep the peace so you don't lose your contract?" she asked me. Well damn.
"Probably." I messed up her hair and her fist got me pretty good in the ribs.
"Go away." she shoved me in the direction of the studio and I took the hint and went in.
"So what do you really think?" Bailey asked me hopefully
"I think that it just needs a little bit of drums and it will be perfect. I'll add it to my list and I'll let you know when you two can come and record it." So much music to do, I never thought the lyrics would be the easy part.
"Good, well we also wrote one for you too. It's a little different than the rest of the Album." Bailey said as Kylie handed it to me and she had a look on her face that I couldn't quite place. When I looked it over, I realized why.
"I was thinking heavy guitar and drums. You're putting everything into this album and maybe the album should end with a little song saying your life is your life and none of their damn business." I read it a couple times and looked over at Kylie.
"Any music worked out?" I asked and she picked up a guitar. I sat down with it and Bailey sat beside me and sang it lightly to me while Kylie played. We did that a couple times until I got a feel for it. I've never had anyone write my songs for me before, this would be a first.
Bailey was the only person I ever trusted in that way.
"Alright, let me work on this a couple weeks and see where it goes. I may tweak it a bit." It was possible to use it, I wasn't quite sure yet though.
"What else?" Bailey asked. The rest was really up to me, there wasn't much that they could really do to help me.
"Yeah, that song you have?" I asked her and she bit her lip and instinctively put a hand on her notebook.
"It's at home." She lied and I just raised a brow and stared at her, that was a terrible lie.
"Okay, I just wanted to show you first." She told me and Bailey and I both looked to Kylie. She put her hands up as she stood grabbing her bag.
"I get it. I have a little boy who's probably hungry anyway. Caleb will be thrilled that he doesn't have to fight with Fredrick." She hugged us both and headed out.
"Alright." I turned back to Bailey and she groaned.
"Okay." She grabbed it and sat at the piano.
"Would it help if I sang one for you?" I asked her and her head turned quickly to look at me, I didn't sing for just her very often.
"Really? You never sing for me." That wasn't true
"I sing for you all the time." she shook her head as I grabbed for my acoustic guitar.
"No you don't. You sing in front of me all the time, not for me." I guess there was a difference there. I thought about it and besides a couple weeks ago, I hadn't sang for her in a while.
"Do you want me to sing you to sleep and serenade you?" I asked her and she flushed a little but shook her head.
"No." she smiled though, I was so singing to her tonight as she went to sleep. She'll get all embarrassed and I'll get a kick out of it. I didn't mind singing to her though, I just didn't.
"I'll sing for you whenever you want." I meant that too. A year ago, I never would be able to. I stood and turned around on the piano bench and I strummed the chords that have become familiar and did it acoustically.
Listen to the video or google without you by my darkest days (yes, this is the whole song)
"If I had my way I'd spend every day right by your side. And if I could stop time, believe me I'd try for you and I. And each moment you're gone Is a moment too long in my life, so stay right here, right now. 'Cause without you I'm a disaster, the moment you go, and you're my ever after, Just thought you should know, 'Cause I need to know your answer, just say you'll stay with me, I want you to say you're gonna stay with me, just say you'll stay with me. I die every day that you're away from me
If the world ceased to spin you could start it again with just one smile. And if the seas turn to sand with the wave of your hand it would rain for miles. But the thought of you gone makes everything wrong in my life. So stay right here, right now 'Cause without you I'm a disaster, the moment you go, and you're my ever after, Just thought you should know, 'Cause I need to know your answer, just say you'll stay with me, I want you to say you're gonna stay with me, just say you'll stay with me. I die every day that you're away from me
My heart breaks with every beat. I can't explain what you do to me. So just say you'll promise me. Please, take me if you ever leave. But the thought of you gone makes everything wrong in my life. So stay right here, right now. 'Cause without you I'm a disaster, the moment you go, and you're my ever after, Just thought you should know, 'Cause I need to know your answer, just say you'll stay with me, I want you to say you're gonna stay with me, just say you'll stay with me. I die every day that you're away from me.
So just say you'll promise me, Please, take me if you ever leave. My heart breaks with every beat. I die every day that you're away from me"
"When did you write it?" she asked me and I looked intently at her.
"I started it after we spent the weekend together. I finished it a couple weeks ago." It got pushed back with everything else that came to mind and I just got around to finishing it.
"I'll stay with you." her voice was so soft.
"I could write dozens of albums worth of songs to tell you how much I love you. It's cheesy, but it's true." I could find an infinite amount of words to express my feelings for her.
"I'm not sure what I ever did to deserve that," She stood and I kissed her. I could spend hours doing this and never get bored. We stood there wrapped up in each other until we needed air and stepped back.
"Where are you going?" I asked and I could see her changing discs
"Press play, Kylie helped me with the guitar already and I was going to have you do drums, but Kara has someone help and we ended up finishing it. One last thing you would need to do, I haven't signed anything on it though."
So I sat outside the studio and clicked play.
Her voice has gotten much stronger and each time she's here she gets increasingly less shy. This song was all about her as a person with shortcomings, how she's tired of me putting her up so high. How I see her as this angel that she's not. She's flawed and she just wants to love me, not be idolized.
She was right though; this song was exactly how I saw her. To me, she may as well be wearing a halo. I didn't want that to change either. I understood she wasn't perfect, but she was in her own way. She did irritate me and annoy me, I just kept it to myself lately; I guess this was her way of telling me she was tired of that.
"I don't want you to be afraid to hurt my feels just because you think you owe me something because of the mistakes you're made. We're not at war and we aren't keeping score. I owe you as much as you owe me Julian. I am not perfect." She looked at me through the booth and I hit the little button so she could hear me.
"I'll work on it, I just don't like when you're upset. And I try not to upset you because it stresses me out more than just keeping to myself." I would rather hold in my annoyance than piss her off and get into an argument, I can't handle that stress on top of everything else.
"I'm not leaving, you know. Stay faithful and I stay." I was in a dark place in general when she left, and it wasn't just because we broke up. A large part of why it happened was because we were fighting all the time. Robert said that it was a subconscious thing for me to avoid conflict now and it wasn't healthy.
"Okay, I have a long list of things to work on; I'll add this to it, promise." She stretched out and I looked at the clock.
"Home?" I asked and she nodded
"Home and a long bath. I'm taking Macy and Melina to get their hair done tomorrow and then I can drop her at work and we can go do some shopping with Melina." She grabbed her bag and we headed out of the studio, I wondered how mine was coming along.
We talked about music as I drove us home and when we got there I went to check on dinner, which smelt amazing, while Bailey went to go get Mia so we could eat.
"Melina Julianna Leeson!" I heard and my body instantly turned towards Mia's room and I rushed over there. She sounded like she was in fucking trouble.
"You weren't supposed to be home for an hour." I was seeing red in front of me. Mia was pulling a shirt on and there was a boy scrambling off her bed for a shirt too.
"Mia." My voice was much louder than Bailey's and I could see the fear in both Mia and that boys eyes.
"Julian." She whispered and I blocked the door when the boy tried to get past us to leave.
"If you're such a man to be with her, then you are man enough to take a couple fucking steps back and not rush out like a bitch." I was furious with this kid who looked more than petrified of me.
"Yes sir." He took a couple steps back and Bailey had her arms crossed as she stared Mia down.
"What now?" Mia asked. Right about now was when I threw this kids scrawny ass off the balcony, but Bailey would never let me do that.
"It's six o clock, so dinner." The kid squirmed uncomfortable and I smirked.
"Dinner?" Mia asked Bailey and she stepped to the side and pointed to the table.
"This is going to be the most uncomfortable dinner of those kids lives." Bailey said under her breath as she followed after then and I hid my smile and put on a deep frown as we sat at the table.
"I am so grounded, aren't I?" Mia asked as Bailey served dinner. Bailey looked at her and turned her attention to the kid.
"So have you two been using protection?" Mia choked on her food and the kid dropped the fork he was barely able to hold because he was shaking
"What?" I yelled, as far as I could see there was no sex and there better fucking not have been or Mia will be relocated schools
"We haven't, we didn't." Mia turned bright red saying that Bailey got the exact reaction she wanted.
"I didn't, I swear we haven't had sex. I promise!" the kid rambled a little bit after that.
"And what would we have walked into in an hour?" Bailey asked him
"We wouldn't have, I would never touch her like that, I promise I won't." Mia glared at the kid.
"You just enjoy stripping her down then?" I asked and he shrank back into his chair and Mia put her head in her hands.
"No." the kid said, Bailey hadn't asked him name for a reason.
"So you're not attracted to her then?" I asked and his eyes got really wide and he looked from Mia to me and she sank down a little more in her chair
"He pleads the fifth." She answered for him.
"Mia, the boy is capable of answering for himself." I told her and she groaned
"Fine." She mumbled as she stuffed a bit of food in her mouth. Bailey and I were eating just fine.
"Don't like my girlfriends cooking?" I asked him next and he quickly took a bite of food and Bailey looked down and smiled before composing herself.
"It's delicious." He mumbled and Mia looked helplessly at him. She looked like she wanted to help him but doing so would just make it worse, so she left it; smart girl.
"Thank you. Now I've never had sex so Julian can sit down with you in the living room after dinner and explain to you how it works and all about it." If she could cackle like a witch, she would be right now when both their faces flushed and they sank just that much deeper in their seats. They were practically under the table by now.
"Not necessary." He told me
"Oh so you're already sexually active?" Bailey asked and he shook his head fast enough that it probably gave him a headache
"No, I'm still a virgin." If his face got anymore red, it would start going purple.
"Well then I insist. We can look up diagrams to make it more fun." I was so pissed off right now; as soon as this kid leaves Mia is dead. He didn't know what to say so he just nodded once and we finished the rest of dinner in a very uncomfortable silence. I thought of the most embarrassing ways to have this next talk, this kid wouldn't be able to even look her in the eyes again after tonight.