Anger. Break. Tears. Guilt. Anger. Break more things. Guilt. Tears.
Yep that pretty much covers these last two weeks. I would get so mad I would start trashing shit and then I'd cry because I'm such a bitch. I'd start to feel guilty and the guilt would made me mad so I'd break more shit and... well you get the point. Right now I was at back to stage 2: Break shit. I threw my Hello Kitty lamp across the room and watched as it broke into pieces. Fuck, I loved that lamp. A knock at my door had me frozen to my spot. I knew it was Andy because she'd check on me from time to time. I heard the door open but I didn't dare look back. I heard her let out a sigh before I heard the door close. Thinking she had left I turned around only to come face to face with the sneaky little bitch.
"I've had enough of this." She said. Tears? I think I'm going to cry again. "So help me mother of fucking gold if you let a tear fall from your pretty little eyes I will slap you." But-But- I couldn't hold them in. I felt my bottom lip quiver as I tried to keep the tears in. POW! That bitch slapped me. "Nadia listen to me, He left he's obviously not right for you. He didn't try to work it out like you did. When the tough got going the no good scumbag left you. Are you really crying over that dirt bag piece of shit?" I let out a chuckle, she really doesn't get why I'm crying. I don't care that he left, I'm used to that part I'm crying because I'm angry as fuck because he DIDN'T try to work shit out.
"You don't get it. I'm not crying OVER him I'm crying because when he cheated I took him back but when I cheat its the end of the fucking world. I gave that dude 5 months of my life. You know how many different dudes I could have had? How many one night stands I missed out on? And Andy I'm crying because," I took a pause for dramatic affect. "The sex wasn't that good." I let out a fake cry but started to laugh afterwards.
"I love yo overly crazy ass." She said wrapping her arms around me.
"Find a party, its been to long." I sighed before walking over to my broken lamp. Tears started to fall. "I broke my favorite lamp." I sniffed. She looked at me from her phone and smiled.
"Guess who's having a party.." She keep me curious.
"Well......" I hinted.
"Tom, the jock. he throws the best parties... I mean second to us and all."
"The one I fucked in the janitors closet?" That was a good day.
"That was Andrew. Tom is the one you made out with in the back seat of my moms car." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I made a curious face and she groaned before continuing. "It's his birthday, party starts at 10, its at that teen club down by the Broadway." She said.
"Ohh Tom! The one with the rich as dad. Golden blonde hair, shining clover green eyes. Sexy ass lips. I remember now!!!" I said after it finally clicked.
"Yes Blondie!" she said throwing her hands up. I muttered 'whatever' and walked in the bathroom.
*******★★★*******
Tweety Bird down. Tweety bird half shirt, purple undershirt and yellow and purple heels. Purple necklace, long wavy hair. I bring party clothes to a different level. My bestie/sister Andy on the other hand was wearing a fitted red dress with silver accents with a black belt in the middle topped off with black heels and her hair was in a high ponytail.
"10:45, time to go." I said grabbing my tweety bird purse and walking out the door, arms linked with my best sister.
************
The music was so loud the whole building was vibrating. The front room to the club was dark with flashing colorful lights and a bar. Since it was a teen club there was no alcoholic drinks. Sucks, right? But that didn't stop me I had a bottle of Ciroc in my purse. I loved this stuff. Bad bitch? I know. I looked around the room looking for someone cute enough to grab my attention but instead I saw the bad boy himself sucking the face off some brown head. I forgot her name but I know I made out with her boyfriend more than once. His eyes caught mine and held me there for a moment before I decided to go speak, not to Zane of course but my old friend Cameron. He actually wasn't snogging some random chick. Zane watched my every move and I tried so hard so he couldn't see how much he affected me.
Remember Nadia: It was his fault that you broke your Hello Kitty lamp.
"Hey babe." Cameron said standing up to give me a hug. I took in his scent and he smelled good... like really good. Axe.
"Hey love." I smiled once he pulled back. "Aye have you seen the birthday boy, I need to give him his present." I smirked. From the corner of my eye I saw Zane tense up. Oh that wasn't even my intention.
"Uh he's by the so called bar." Cameron pointed out and I looked over to see Blondie.
"Need a drink?" I said offering him the bottle. "I won't need it for what I'm going to do." I winked before walking away. well I tried to walk away but the electric shock that went throughout my body stopped me. I turned to face Mr.Bad ass and looked down at my wrist signaling him to let go. When he didn't I pulled away from him.
"Trying to make me jealous." He said in a husky voice. Can someone say turn on?
"Not really my intention." I said honesty in a innocent voice. "Reason you're here?" I asked, batting my eyelashes.
"Party." He shrugged. Ha Ha so funny.
"You know what I mean Zane." I snapped obviously not in the mood for no bullshit.
"Can't talk to my girlfriend?" Girlfriend my ass.
"Not really the girlfriend type." Oh I know how those words sting. I moved closer to him making our bodies press together. "I thought I proved that when I let Mark stick his tongue in me." I said in a innocent voice. I saw the pain flash in his eyes and it gave me a rush oh how I missed that look. "Trust me Zane it wasn't only in my mouth." I lied through clenched teeth. He grabbed onto my arm.. Hard with a angry look in his eyes. Sexy! Well maybe not the fact that he's hurting me but the look in his eyes. Then he started to drag me to somewhere. The bathroom?!?! He pulled me in and slammed me against the door and started kissing me roughly. I didn't stop him in fact I kissed him back with just as much force.
"I miss you." Trying to win me back? Lame ass line. I've heard this one before.
"Wish the feeling was mutual." I stated dryly. He pushed back and looked at me.
"Don't act like you don't want me Nadia." Did I ever mention how hot he sounds when he says my name? Hot like fucking fire.
"Sorry Zane but I don't. When you cheated I gave you another chance but when I cheat you bail on me. You don't try and make it work. I don't want a boy, I want a man Zane." I said before leaving him, that argument and his thoughts in the bathroom. First place, Cameron. I stormed up to him and drank half of the bottle I had given him earlier.
"Make out hair, fix it." He pointed out and I grabbed my brush and started to brush through it. "Better." He said.
"Kiss me." I blurted out. I just want to taste his lips.
"No can do babe, goes against the bro code" It was worth a try. I rolled my eyes and walked over to Blondie.
"Birthday sex?" I asked since I was suddenly feeling very slutty.
"Best birthday ever." Blondie shouted before leading me to a unknown room. Technically I still wasn't easy Tom has been trying to get me non stop
for like 7 months. Yes, I keep count I think its cute.
*^_^*
My only regret about last night is I couldn't wake up with a hangover. Sucks to be me, right? I know. I didn't do anything with Tom we just ended up talking all night but he said he liked me.. Bummer, I don't like him. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom turning on the hot water. My shower was going good I was smelling like lime and coconut until Zane popped in my brain. The pained look in his eyes.. I miss my old ways and to think I changed for Zane. I stepped out the shower and wrapped myself in a fluffy Hello Kitty towel. My phone started to buzz and I walked over to it, it was Zane.
"Speak." I answered.
"Hey Nadia." It wasn't Zane, it was Damon.
"Um, Damon?" I said thinking I was hearing the wrong voice.
"That's my name, can you tell Andy to call me?"
"Don't you have a phone that work, and why are you calling me from Zane phone?" I wish he was smarter... but he's not.
"Long story. Just tell her to call me." He rushed and quickly hung up the phone. He's one weird fella. Right on time Andy walked in and rolled her eyes.
"Do you plan on getting dressed?" I looked down and noticed I was still in my towel, rolling my eyes I walked to my closet and pulled out some basketball shorts and a wife beater.
"Look away." I told Andy and got dressed quickly once she looked away. "Dressed." I stated and walked to my phone looking at my missed messages. Two Messages from Mark three from Cameron two from Tom and one from Molly. I decided against checking them and quickly deleted them. "Oh Damon said call him. She looked at me and rolled her eyes before she let out a chuckle.
"He got a phone, right?" She said but still pulled out her phone. Lil.mama straight whipped.
"Gonna call him anyway." I muttered she rolled her eyes and walked out the room with the phone on her ear. I threw myself on my bed while my thoughts drowned out everything else around me. That's how I spent the rest of my day. Straight pathetic.