There had always been a connection between Paul and John; long before they had discovered their feelings, and long before fame and success took a place in their lives. Ever sinc the beginning of Lennon-McCartney there was something much stronger than friendship. And now that they had found it, and gone through with it for a year now, the reality and the cons of their relationship were appearing again.
John looked at Paul, eyes wide, mouth speechless. Paul looked at John with tenderness and concern. He suddenly realized he had said it. It was too soon, and he knew it. Paul covered his face and turned away, regretting the words that had spilled out of his mouth. Come on, you mush of a brain up there. Help me think about what I say once in a while, he thought. Surely, John wanted nothing to do with a family. Not now, anyway. They wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. They couldn't have children. The media would immediately question the sudden appearance of any child if they went through adoption.
No one spoke. In fact, everyone was really too surprised to utter a word. Paul began to realize the uncomfortable change of atmosphere that ad occurred, and he wanted to apologize and disappear.
"Sorry, I'm sorry. I'll just..." Paul stood up and ran into his new house. He could hear John yell "Wait!" as he scurried up to his new room, where he secured the door lock and sat on his bed, feeling embarrassed.
The lads remain outside. George glanced at Ringo and raised his eyebrows, but never dared say a word. They both looked at John, who had his gaze in the direction Paul ran off too still, mumbling something under his breath.
John didn't know what to think. Paul and him, that was his family (as we're Cyn, Julian, and Mimi, of course). He hadn't thought about more. That would mean children. Surely, that's what Paul had meant. John felt his heart shatter. Children? He couldn't give him that. He hadn't even began to think of the idea. John looked down at the grass, before standing up. He glanced at George and Ringo, whom were watching his every move.
"I'm gonna go talk to him..." John said, almost whispering. George nodded, and Ringo mumbled an "okay". John looked up to his destination, and proceeded on.
George and Ringo were left in silence outside. Neither had said a word to each other in a while. Ringo glanced up at George.
"I don't think Paul's completely crazy for having such a thought, you know," Ringo said, quickly stood up, heading into the house. George stood up quickly after, walking behind Ringo, still not saying a word. He was under his own shock now.
Once inside, George gently put his hand on Ringo's shoulder, motioning him to turn around and face him. Ringo stopped and turned, his soft blue eyes looking at George now. George studied Ringo's face. What is he thinking?
"I don't, George. I don't think Paul is absolutely out of his mind for wanting to be part of a family." Ringo looked down at his feet, stuffing his hands in his coat pocket. George smiled, and put a hand gently on Ringo's cheeks, which were flushed red by now.
"It's okay," George said, realizing that Ringo was having similar thoughts as Paul. He didn't blame him, but they were almost outrageous ideas to him (he dare not say this to Ringo, or Paul).
"Okay." Ringo said, and sat on the floor. George smiled, shaking his head. He sat down next to Ringo, taking his hand.
"We can talk about if you'd like."
John knocked on the door after his attempt to open the locked door had failed.
"Paul?"
There was silence. John sighed, and knocked on the door again.
"Paulie? Open the door for us, will ya Macca?" John twisted the knob again, but to no avail. He heard a soft sigh from the other side, and shuffling of feet. John stepped back from the door, awaiting it's opening. The door opened slowly, and soon revealed Paul, who looked rather vulnerable and weak. John widened his eyes at the sight, and quickly wrapped his arms around Paul.
"Oh, darling. You don't look well. Please, let's talk about all of this. Yeah?" Paul let John hold him. John ran his hands up and down Paul's back in a soothing way.
"Okay. Alright." Paul nodded and walked back to his bed. However, Paul sat next to his bed, on the soft, newly carpeted floor. John did the same, seating himself next to Paul.
"So, a family. Huh. I can't say I've thought about it much, Paulie. Sorry..." John scratched his head, not sure where he was going with this. Paul smiled weakly.
"No, no. It's alright. It was a ridiculous thought, after all. I hope you can forget about it, honestly." Paul looked at John, trying to reassure him of his words.
"What got you thinking about it, Paul? We've never talked about it before. Not even gave hints! It was just a bit shocking, you know?" John examined Paul's body language. Paul nodded slowly. He looked nervous and embarrassed. "I'm not angry, love. Not one bit. I love you. You know that, right?"
Paul smiled at John, "Yes, I know that."
John moved closer to Paul, "And you know I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you? Because you are my everything, Paul. You're mine."
Paul bit his bottom lip before speaking, "I'm yours, Johnny. All yours."
John smirked, and moved closer. He began peppering Paul's neck with gentle kisses, to his shoulder, and down his arm. Until, he brought Paul's hand up to his face, and gave it a kiss. "Baby? What's got you like this?"
Paul's smile faltered, but remained on his face. He shrugged his shoulders, "Just had a dream, is all."
"A dream? About having a family with me?" John's eyes seemed to brighten, Paul thought. Maybe I'm only imagining.
"Well, yes, a family...but no, not with you," He saw John's smile disappeared and his eyebrows raise, "But that's where it freaked me out, Johnny."
"Tell about your dream. I'm listening." John was focused on Paul's face. The way his eyes were looking around as he tried to get his words together, the way his mouth; his lips were parted, for he was about to speak, but they looked so beautiful; and his small, button nose that John loved so much.
"It seemed to take place some years from now. I'm not exactly sure when, but it was some years later. I was sitting in a rather large house. Not this one, much larger. I was strumming on a guitar, probably humming an old tune. Then, there was a small hand on my lap. A child's hand. A little girl, actually. I looked down at her, and she smile sweetly. The she called me 'daddy' and it confused me," Paul looked at John, who had his chin on his raised knees, listening carefully to every word, "She asked me where her 'mum' was. I didn't know what to say. Then another little girl appeared next to me, and smiled up at me. I smiled back. They were sweet, little children. She then said, 'Dad, mum asked me to come get you. She needs help with her garden.' I don't recall speaking in this dream very much, but I do remember asking where you were." John straightened up, and smiled, but only briefly, as Paul continued on.
"I asked where you were, and the two girls looks at me, giving me a confused look. I think one asked 'who's that?'. I was honestly freaked out. I don't remember what the girls looked like really. Then a I felt a hand on my shoulder. By reaction, I remember reaching for the hand. It was soft, and small. Not a child's hand, but a woman's hand. I looked up, but I couldn't see her face. I could only hear her voice..." Paul voice trailed off. He looked down at his feet. John saw him shiver a bit, and moved closer, wrapping an arm around him and holding him tightly.
"It's alright, Paulie. What did she say?" John let Paul's head rest on his shoulder, as he stroked Paul's soft dark hair and his reddened cheeks.
Paul shut his eyes, and sighed, "She said you were gone." Paul's body shuddered. John held him tighter. Paul wrapped his arms around John's torso. "Please, Johnny. Don't leave me. I don't want a family with anyone else. I don't want to be with anyone else. Please, I don't want any telling me you're gone. Don't be gone...don't leave..." Paul buried his face his John's neck. John kissed Paul's hand.
"Paulie, I'll never leave you. I love you too much. I love you. I won't be gone. I love you so much." John brought Paul's head up. They faced each other, just looking into each other's eyes. Tension was growing; good tension. Then John pressed his lips on Paul's firmly, pulling him closer by wrapping his arms around Paul's small waist. Paul wrapped his arms around John's neck, kissing back with so much passion. John's tongue was fighting for dominance. He got it, and pushed Paul down gently on the carpet, breaking the kiss.
Paul looked up at John, who's eyes were already darker with lust, and his lips parted. Paul bit his bottom lip at the sight. John leaned down and kissed his neck once again, tugging on Paul's t-shirt, wanting it off. Paul complied without question. He needed John; To feel John, to be with John. John bit down gently on Paul's collarbone, sucking at his skin. John heard a quiet groan escape Paul's throat. Paul wrapped tangled his hands in John's hair, loving the touch of John's lips on his neck once again. Then he remembered.
"Johnny..." He meant to sound more assertive than he actaully did. In fact, he spoke in a whisper. John hummed in response, moving his hands down Paul's abdomen, to his jeans' waist line, leaving kisses on his chest.
"Johnny, wait..." This time, John looked up. His eyes full of a new, sudden concern.
"What is it, love?" Paul looked towards the door.
"George and Ringo are still downstairs..." Paul said, slowly sitting up.
"Oh, they don't mind," John leaned in and kissed Paul gently, "But, I suppose we'll spare them the trouble." John winked, and stood up, helping Paul up as well.
"Oh. And Paul?" John said, before they opened the door to walk out. Paul looked up, and curiously awaited John's voice. "Just give me time, yeah? About the family situation. I'd love to live that life with you...I just need to--"
"Think about it. I know. I understand, since it's quite complicated..." Paul said, assuring John that he was not at all offended. In fact, Paul thought he needed to think over it himself, it was so complicated.
"Okay. Thank you. Oh, and one more thing." John grinned as he saw Paul rolled his eyes, but kept a smile on his face.
"What could it possibly be now, Johnny?" Paul said, walking towards the door. John took hold of Paul's hand, kissing the back of it.
"I love you."
-*-
Sorry for such a bad, short chapter.
Attention Starrison fans: Be prepared for a Starrison filled chapter next week. That's all I will say...😉
Thank you!!