My mouth fell open. I couldn't believe what I had just read. I kept on reading and re-reading and reading and re-reading for the words to sink in. I was hyperventilating. Was that possible?
Raymond loved me?
Fuck.
What was I supposed to do?
Did he forget to take those paper back from my book?
Or did he put them here on purpose?
I cannot tell her that I love her.
I mean, she sees me as her best friend, right?
So I have to keep it that way.
I can NEVER risk hurting her. Even if I have to hurt myself for that. Snow is everything for me now.
She's all that matters. And I will always be with her. I will always love her, disguised as her best friend.
Yes, that's what I'm going to do.
I will love her.
But silently.
I read.
Just like my words.
No. It couldn't be on purpose.
So now what?
I couldn't just go and return them to him.
It's wrong to read somebody's personal stuff.
What would I tell him anyway?
Ray, you forgot these in my book.
Damn, he will know that I read them. He knows me way too well.
And then all will go wrong.
Everything we had will be spoilt.
And I couldn't even keep them with me. He will surely notice the absence sooner or later.
I was so confused.
I took a deep breath and took my diary. I got up from my study desk and went out of the room.
I knocked at Stacey's door.
"Ashie you don't have to knock. Just barge in whenever you want," she pulled me in.
"Stace," I whispered because somehow my voice just didn't come out.
"Ashie! Are you alright?" Stacey said as she wiped a tear that fell on my cheek.
I sniffed, "I need to talk to you."
"I'm here for you. I've always been." She hugged me.
I opened my diary to the page where I wrote about Raymond and gave it to her to read.
She gasped. And read on.
She handed me my diary when she was done. I gave her Raymond's papers before she could utter a word.
She read them too.
"Fuck." She cursed once she was done.
"What should I do?"
"Tell him!"
"Tell him what?"
"That you love him!"
"I can't"
"Why?"
"What if G. knows?"
"So what?"
"He'll kill Raymond!"
"Oh, c'mon Ashie! He won't do anything."
"But he's done things before. You know him."
"Exactly! I know him. More than you do. We may not be blood related but he's more close to me than he's ever been to you. And I know that he won't do anything like that."
"I'm still nervous."
"Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?"
"Your best friend is in love."
I looked at her and my eyes landed on her t-shirt.
When you love somebody, let them know. It said.
She followed my gaze and smirked.
"Like I said."
"Stace, it's not easy!"
"When has something difficult stopped you before?
"Ashie, you don't have to climb a mountain, for Christ's sake! Just say those three words." She was soft now.
I sighed.
"Where is your phone?" She asked me.
"In my room."
She got up from the bed and ran towards my room.
"It's plugged into charge," I yelled knowing she would never find a thing in my perfectly organized room.
We were opposites. She liked messy. I liked systematic.
"Got it." She came in typing away something.
"Done. Here," she handed me my phone.
"What did you do?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
My phone buzzed.
I checked it.
It was a text from Raymond.
Ray : Snow, is everything okay? I'm at work now. Will be free in an hour if that's okay?
I looked at Stacey who wriggled her eyebrows expectantly at me.
I then checked what message she sent to Raymond on my behalf.
Me : Ray, I need to see you. NOW. It's urgent. And important.
How unlike me!
"I'm going to kill you Stace!" I glared at her.
"Later." She rolled her eyes and continued, "What did he say?"
"He says he's at work. He'll see me after an hour."
"Is he stupid? Didn't he read that 'now' I typed in capitals?"
I giggled.
"No. It's not funny. Not funny at all. We need you to meet him now. Before you change your mind."
She snatched the phone from me and sent Raymond another text.
Me : I said NOW. And I mean NOW.
"Stace! That's sounds SO desperate! And so not like me."
"Can I tell you something?" She said, her eyes soft.
I nodded.
"You have been yourself since the day you met him. He brings out the you in you. The you that disappeared two years ago. And I am so glad you met him. This is your chance, girl. Go grab it."
Tears welled up my eyes.
"Go grab him, you mean?" I tried to wipe the tears away but they fell.
She hugged me.
Just then my phone rang.
Raymond.
Stacey took it.
"I'll deal with him. You go get ready."
I rushed to my room.
"Oh yeah, she forgot her phone. She said she was going at the park to meet you." I heard Stacey say.
I changed into black jeans and a cute white top.
Man, I had a thing for whites!
His words ran through my mind.
I put my converse on.
"I told him you went to the park. He said he'll be there in ten minutes." Stacey stood at the door.
"I can't do this."
"Excited and nervous at the same time? I know the feeling."
"Stace! You're not helping!"
"What? Now you want me to tell him you love him? That would be a lot of help, wouldn't it?"
"Argh! Fine! I'm going!" I stomped out of the room and down the stairs.
I sprinted to a jog as I left the mansion's gate.
Everything will be great, I told myself.
(A/N : Short chapter! Next chapter will be longer, I promise! Thank you lovelies for still reading. It means everything to me. Votes? Comments? :))