I always thought once your whole world fell apart that it couldn't get any worse, that watching everything you love crumble was the worst of it.
I was wrong.
Eileen and I woke up to the sounds of shouting girls. My first thought was that maybe some people were just getting into a fight and I would have turned around and gone back to sleep but one of those voices was Savannah and the other was Layla.
I scramble out of bed and open the door, Eileen standing behind me.
The first thing I notice is Savannah. She's standing in the hallway, jeans and a t-shirt, no shoes on and tears rolling down her cheeks. There are suitcases and bags next to her, looking like they were clumsily thrown from the room. The second thing I notice is Layla, arms crossed, eyebrow arched and that silky smirk planted on her face. And the third thing I notice is headmaster Calaway standing next to the pile of suitcases with two school security guards (They suck at their jobs) standing on either side of him.
There are girls peeking their heads out from their doors to see the commotion as Savannah defends herself to Calaway. She's rambling on and on about how she didn't do it and that they can't just kick her out like this. That's when I step in.
I rush to Savannah's side and place an arm around her but I look at Calaway "You're kicking her out?"
"Miss Paul broke one of our rules and she's lucky I don't have her arrested," His beady eyes are boring into mine and I try not to shiver.
"Why would you arrest her?" I ask.
"Last time I checked," Layla chimes in. "Drugs are illegal."
I glare at her and she doesn't even blink. Bitch.
"Anna, it wasn't mine," Savannah whispers in my ear.
I know Sav keeps everything in the vent above her bed. I knew she wouldn't have just left something out in the open.
"Where's the proof? You can't just throw her out," I stand up straighter, still holding tightly to Savannah who's holding back tears.
Headmaster Calaway gives me a look and I knew I had said the wrong thing. His voice is raised as he speaks as if he wants everyone in the hall to know what Savannah had done.
"There was an illegal substance on her bed and I will not stand for that kind of foolishness in MY school!" He spits out the words. "A car is coming to drop Miss Paul off at the airport but after that she is no longer in our hands. She has been expelled and if she doesn't vacate this premises immediately, I will be forced to take drastic action and call the authorities!" His voice booms around the hall and everyone seems to shrink back. Nobody wants to get on his bad side.
I look helplessly to Eileen but she shakes her head as if to say 'there's nothing we can do' and I feel my heart get sucker punched so hard it could have fallen out of my body.
The next few minutes feel like they're happening in slow motion. Savannah is wrenched from my grip by the guards in clean and crisp white and blue uniforms, Calaway gives a subtle nod to Layla as if saying thank you and I knew that this was her doing, her hands unraveling everything.
One of the guards starts practically dragging Savannah by her arm out of the hall that's filling up with curious girls who start getting their phones out to film the fall of an already broken princess who used to live inside a bubble that burst.
The other guard grabs her suitcases, escorting her out. Savannah twists to look at me, a look of panic on her face and I just shake my head. She looks away.
It felt selfish but I couldn't risk getting expelled too. Calaway meant what he said and I wasn't going to test how how cruel he actually was. I knew Layla had planted drugs and blamed Sav for it but I couldn't just start shouting out accusations without proof.
I went over all my options as Savannah got farther and farther away and everything felt useless. I feel useless.
Headmaster Calaway follows Savannah and the guards out and soon everybody else clusters together to watch Savannah get kicked out, as if this was a good show. I glance over at Layla and I want to slap that witch like smile off her face.
"What did you do, Layla?" My voice is quiet and Layla shrugs.
"I didn't do anything," She says sweetly.
I think about hitting her. I think about smashing her head against the doorframe. The thoughts are scary so I push my nails into my palms so hard I swear I start bleeding. Layla looks triumphant and untouchable.
"Anna," Eileen is tugging on my arm and I barely notice her touch, my skin nothing but white hot anger, my veins furious, my bones shaking at the need to break something, maybe Layla's nose.
She raises an eyebrow, as if knowing my thoughts and challenging me to hit her. She thinks I won't do it which only makes me want to do it more.
"Anna, look at me, we have to go say bye to Sav," Eileen keeps tugging. Layla smirks. I step towards her.
"You just made a huge mistake and I'm going to make sure you regret it," I say, pushing all my hate into the words. Layla doesn't even flinch.
"I look forward to it."
That's the last thing she says before Eileen drags me away. It hits me that Savannah is leaving any second. Eileen and I both run outside, the cold air smacking us as we make it to the driveway of the school.
A lot of students have gathered around to watch as Savannah is forced into the black car. I shove my way to the front of the crowd and stand breathless as Sav argues with Headmaster Calaway.
"I swear this wasn't me, you can't do this," She's crying and Calaway just shakes his head in disgust.
"You have no proof it wasn't you. I won't stand for this," He stands up straighter and faces the crowd, addressing us. His voice is brash. "This is what happens when rules aren't taken seriously!" He points to Savannah as if she is nothing but a bug he has intended to squash.
We're silent for a moment and then Savannah makes eye contact with me. I try to hold back my tears and she rushes forward almost knocking me over as he clings to me.
I return the hug as tightly as I can, taking in her scent of bubblegum and comfort and everything that made her Savannah. My best friend, my savior in a sea of foes, the goddess of pills and broken promises, mistakes and shattered mirrors. She was in a way, infinite to me, untouchable but not unbroken and now here she was in a billion pieces right at my feet.
"I love you," Savannah says into my hair, it's muffled and I think I can hear part of her heart breaking.
"I love you too."
Savannah pulls back and I think I started crying because she wipes away the tears on my cheeks. She pulls away as if noticing we aren't alone. I forget for a second too.
"Tell Nick I say bye?" She's asking me something else too. To forgive him maybe. I nod. "Do you promise?"
Her voice cracks on the word promise as if saying it jinxes it and I nod again not knowing what i'm promising. "I promise." I hope I don't break it.
She gives me her best smile, her best inside a bubble look. I return the smile.
Savannah, the goddess and princess and broken, gets into the car and Calaway shuts the door on her and I swear the sound of it makes my heart shatter.
A voice pushes through the people and shouts.
"Savannah!"
It's Nick. "You can't do this to her!"
Headmaster Calaway turns to him. He slowly walks over to him, the gravel beneath him crying. I hold my breath as Calaway approaches Nick.
"I just did and if you know what's good for you you'll let me take care of this school or you'll be the next person I throw out."
The car starts. I look at Nick. He doesn't see me. The headmaster, the king and evil ruler of this castle gives the small crowd of students a nod and he retreats back to his office.
The black car with tinted windows rolls down the hill of the ample driveway and away from Vale Amare, taking Savannah Paul with it.
Everyone soon starts murmuring and then dissipates and as the crowd thins, Nick looks over at me. I go to him and we stand as close as we can without touching each other. I want to fall but I'm afraid. My heart isn't in good shape.
I put my hand on his chest, right over his heart. It's pounding hard.
We don't say anything, no words can be spoken right now that would help. You always think you won't get caught breaking something until someone catches you.
That's where this whole situation stung. Savannah hadn't done anything this time. It was Layla, trying to rule over everyone because she could.
My hand falls to my side. Nick gives me that look that makes me feel like I am the sun and the moon and the warmth that spreads to my fingertips every time my fingers graze over his skin; like I am the universe he holds inside his chest and every atom that explodes within it.
I don't know what I want to say to him. Not yet. But god, if he keeps staring at me like that I feel like I'm going to catch fire and wash over everything in a burning bright light.
So, I look away and my bare feet hurt on the hard ground and I can see Eileen ahead of me, walking back into the school, her shoulders shaking.
It felt as if everything we had built up with our bare hands was crumbling down, the cathedral full of blue people was falling and there was nobody there to clean up the blood of the broken.