It was a long ride from Class 4 to wherever the "Prep Center" was. A long, bumpy ride. We left all Class territories behind and drove out through the pathless wasteland until the sun was sinking below the horizon. I was suddenly grateful for the society I lived in- the world outside the Divide was all brown grasslands and stone city ruins. There were no people, just packs of stray, rabid dogs fighting over rotting food. It was disgusting.
Malachi kept interrupting my thoughts with comments, reminiscing about "the old days" when we spent all of our time together. I listened to some of it- the story about the time we got chased by wasps by the creek was actually pretty funny- but most of the time I just nodded absentmindedly or interjected with an uninterested "Mhmm." By the time the light started to fade he'd launched into a speech about how much he'd missed me these past two years.
"I swear it's like my brain's been counting the seconds since that day. I'm so sorry, Harper," he said, searching my eyes.
I tore my gaze away from his. "Sorry doesn't fix everything."
"Then what can I do?"
I sighed and rested my forehead against my palm. "Just give me some time to think," I answered.
"I know what I did was wrong," he countered, voice gentle and persuasive. "I know I shouldn't have hit you-"
"But you still did it every time."
He didn't say anything after that.
Soon the Prep Center came into view, a stark white icecap among the endless field of dead grass. There were two wings on either side that met in the middle at a giant circular room. The roof was a tall glass dome, rising into the gray dusk. The whole thing was surrounded by a metal fence that wasn't nearly as tall or threatening as the Divide.
I craned my neck to see above the seats in front of me as we approached, but couldn't seem to get a good view through the windshield. I sat back. It didn't matter. We'd be there soon enough.
* * * * * *
"You'll each have your own separate rooms, and you'll find the showers down hall number 7." A tall, older man stood in front of the group, talking in an important voice and gesturing with his hands so much it distracted me. He kept touching his salt and pepper beard, sweeping with his arms, and then shaking his fingers in various directions. It was like a computer on loop of motions.
We were standing just inside the Prep Center doors at the start of a carpeted path that led in a huge circle around the main room. All the walls were white and the carpets navy, soft white-yellow lamps lighting the air. I couldn't see over the edge of the circle path, but I could only assume that the room stretched downward into the "training area" that the man had mentioned. He'd taken our papers as soon as we'd arrived.
I stood close by Malachi, not because I wanted to, but because the Class 4 competitors kept glaring at me and whispering to each other. I got a better look at the other man from 4 now that we all were in good sight of each other- he was lean but muscular, with the kind of handsome features you didn't see very often in the lower Classes. His nose was strong and straight, and his eyes were a striking pale green.
I had to suppress a snicker while I watched him. He was quietly chatting up the dark haired girl from his Class, and by the looks of his charming smile and her ridiculous grin, his flirtatiousness was winning her over. I noticed with a curious twinge that the other guy- "the boy from across the fence" as I keep calling him- seemed annoyed by their subtle antics, even rolling his eyes at one point. This only added to the comic relief of the scene and honestly made me feel more comfortable with these strangers. They were people, just like us. Not really the savage killers I'd been imagining, but who knows? The Task can change people.
"... and please feel free to utilize anything in your rooms. Best of luck to you all." The man in the suit finished his speech and gave us all a little nod before walking away, still wearing that stupidly friendly grin on his face.
We looked around at each other, not sure what to say or do. We all had to go to the same place- our rooms were in the same hall- but the tension in the air seemed to be gluing us to the floor. Someone had to go first or we'd be standing there forever, I just don't know what made me decide it should be me. But I did. I started towards the doors that led to the left wing, feeling the other's eyes burning into my back. Thankfully the feeling didn't last because one by one they followed in silence. Malachi rushed to catch up to me, matching my stride and keeping pace with my step.
"These people are weird," he said in a hushed tone.
I glanced over my shoulder, accidentally catching the dark eye of "the boy from across the fence". He walked just behind us, while the other two were still talking non-stop further back. He held my gaze for a moment, and I thought I saw him offer a small smile, but I didn't get the chance to return it. Malachi grabbed my wrist suddenly and gave it a little tug. I snapped my head forward, like an instinct.
"You shouldn't look at them," he cautioned. "Don't get too friendly."
I glanced down at his fingers that were wrapped tightly around my arm, a shadow of anger creeping into my mind, and pulled it away. He seemed surprised by that action, but didn't say anything.
Ours rooms were on the second floor of the left wing, down a dimly lit hallway dressed in warm colors. The walls were a welcoming beige and the carpet burgundy with champagne swirls. It stretched in front of me, letting out into dark oak wood doors on either side. Each door had a black label on it that held a name. I found mine three doors down- the only word I knew how to spell was my first name- and opened it quickly, ignoring the "good night" from Malachi. I leaned against the door as it closed behind me, letting out a long sigh. That was enough tension for one day. I guess I hadn't realized how much strain had been building up inside me, and there were still some competitors I hadn't seen. They could be trained and strong and smart in a way that I hadn't even imagined. They could crush me in this competition. And then I'd be breaking my promise to Michael, not to mention leaving him with no real family. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, my chest aching with the weight of the situation I'd put myself in. Put both of us in. I had to train as hard as I could, build my skills in what little time I had, and get out of this competition alive. I had to live, and not just for me. I had to win for Michael. It seemed like training couldn't begin soon enough.
That can wait until tomorrow. Right now all I wanted was a nice hot shower. I'd heard of showers, but never taken one before. Michael and I usually would heat water from the creek over the fire and pour it into a wooden tub to bath in. It wasn't very dignified, but it got the job done. I hadn't taken in a bath in a few days, and I was starting to feel pretty dirty. Not that I'd ever really been clean before.
The room's colors matched that of the hallway- warm tones of red and brown that made you want to fall asleep in front of a fireplace. But I didn't pay much attention to the decor. That bed was like nothing I'd ever seen in my life. It was big enough to fit four people across and was covered in plush gold and burgundy blankets, strewn with matching pillows. I had a nearly irresistible urge to run and take a flying leap into its softness, but I managed to control myself. Four pristine white cotton towels were set on top of the comforter, beckoning me to take one and enjoy that shower I'd been craving. I took off my brown slippers, leaving them at the door, and walked barefoot across the carpet- which, by the way, felt like I was I was stepping on clouds. I carefully picked up one of the towels and held it in my hands, noticing a silk nightgown beside it. I touched its glossy material and wrinkled my nose. It was so thin and flimsy. They couldn't give me real clothes? I made a quick decision to sleep in the clothes I was wearing and instead.
I found the shower rooms- after wandering around for quite a bit- down a gray tiled hall. I can only assume that the symbol it was marked with was the number seven, but I couldn't be completely sure. I didn't know my numbers, just that one came first and four came before five. I took pride in that little bit of knowledge. It was more than most Class 5 citizens knew.
There were two shower rooms, one for girls and one for guys. Thank God those were marked with pictures instead of words or I might have made an embarrassing mistake. There was no one in the girl's room when I walked in, which made me feel a little less wary, but I was suddenly wishing I'd put my slippers back on. The tiles were beautiful, the moods of the sky- some were robin's egg blue, others a stormy gray- but they sent chills through my bare feet.
I went into the first shower stall and set my towel on the little bench inside, making sure the curtain was pulled as far as it could go, then peeled off my clothes. I felt exposed standing there naked, even though I knew no one could see me, no one was even in the room with me.
I took a step toward the shower and examined the buttons that adorned the wall beneath the shower head, wondering which one turned it on. I pressed the biggest one warily. Warm water sprayed down suddenly, half-soaking me and causing me to jump back in surprise. Then a sense of wonder and awe overtook me, like child staring at a firefly she'd caught in her hands. That water was the clearest liquid I'd ever seen, falling like shards of pristine glass. I wouldn't have believed it was even there if the light hadn't been catching on it. It was so perfectly pure and transparent. I hadn't imagined water like that existed.
The first thing I did was taste it. I thought it might taste as pure as it looked, like fresh spring water rolling off a mountain, but I've never been so wrong. It left an unpleasant tang on my tongue, fake and filled with chemicals as if it had been produced in a factory. Hope they don't drink that here, I thought, spitting onto the floor to get rid of the aftertaste. I almost didn't want to bath in it, imagining all of the pollutants that might have been added, but it was so warm that I couldn't resist. It stepped underneath the cascade, relishing in the rhythmic pounding of the water on my back.
By the time I stepped out of the shower, my skin had been thoroughly cleansed. And irritated. Not only was it wrinkled like a raisin, but it was red and had hives in some places from the soap. I'd never used soap, so I couldn't expect my body to be used to it, but I also didn't think soap would come out of a dispenser on the wall. Maybe that was meant for hair.
I dried myself quickly with the plush white towel and then slipped back into my clothes, realizing how dirty they smelled in light of the fresh-scented soap.
I walked out of the shower stall, glancing around the silent room and listening to the quiet buzz of the florescent white lights. Still, no one else was there with me, not even the slender figure of the Class 4 girl. I sighed inwardly. I'd been wanting a chance to introduce myself to her, knowing that I wouldn't want her as an enemy when it came to the competition. Maybe she can't read the signs either.
I thought I was still alone as I pulled open the door and stepped into the air conditioned hall, and I didn't think to look the other direction before heading back towards my room. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't hear the footsteps until they were bearing down just behind me. And the voice- that rough, deep voice- caught me completely off guard.
"Hey," was all it said, but that was enough.
I sucked in a quick gasp of air and nearly jumped out of my bones, heart thrashing in my chest. I whipped my head back to find a figure looming there- the tall, broad-shouldered figure of the boy from across the fence. I tried to smooth over the look of surprise I could feel plastered to my face, tried to quiet the pounding of my heart, but I think he could probably hear it.
Apparently, he didn't want to talk. He walked right past and barely looked at me, although I did catch a little smirk on the corners of his mouth, which annoyed me. I fell in step beside him, giving him just enough distance to be subtle about it.
"Hey," I echoed. "Class 4, right?" I immediately felt like an idiot for saying that. Of course he was from Class 4.
"Yep." He kept his eyes forward, fixed on the end of the hall. "Class 5?"
"Mhm."
A tense pause. Why were we playing it off so much? Doubt suddenly flashed through me. Was it possible that I'd jumped to conclusions too quickly, that it was a different person who just happened to look like the boy? No, I told myself. I could tell by the way he'd looked at me on the bus that he recognized me too.
Okay. Time to just say it. "I didn't think I'd see you again after that day."
He didn't seem swayed by the comment. He'd been ready for, expecting it. "Me neither," he said, seemingly uninterested.
"Not that I was planning on signing up back then," I went on. My mouth started talking before consulting my brain first. "I didn't think I'd ever leave Class 5 or see anyone from another Class."
"I hate to break it to you, kid," he said. "But you probably won't be leaving you're Class after this either." He held open the door that led to the stairs and I stepped through. "I probably won't be either."
I chuckled. "Kid? Who are you my grandpa?"
He cracked a smile, but only a half-smile. I got the feeling that he hadn't really smile in a long time. Neither had I. "Sorry, bad habit," he admitted.
We climbed the first set of stairs and then rounded the landing.
"You're right though," I said. My voice sounded defeated and my feet felt like stones dragging me down in black water. In my mind, I was already dead. "I probably won't make it home... and for some completely stupid reason, I thought this was best. And now I left my brother." My gaze dropped to the floor.
His demeanor changed suddenly, like talking about my personal life made him uncomfortable. "A lot of us won't be going home," he said bluntly, more than a little standoffish.
"Sorry, that's not... any of your concern," I replied quickly, feeling my face flush red with embarrassment. I ran a hand through my damp hair like I always did when I was flustered.
He didn't say anything as we reached the second floor, just pulled open the heavy metal door and fixed me with a dark stare. I held it for a moment before thanking him and stepping through, curiosity taking over my embarrassment. I couldn't help but notice how guarded this man seemed, but not because I was another competitor and he didn't want to get too close to me. There was something else. Even at the bus stop in Class 4 he'd stood apart from his other Class members. He sat by himself on the bus. It seemed like he was uncomfortable with me standing any less than a foot away from him. He was scared. He had a shield raised all the time to protect himself, and at this point I was bouncing right off. He needed someone to teach him that life wasn't always a battlefield.
"Good night," I said quietly as I reached my door and he reached his. There was an odd sense of closure in knowing that he was who I thought he was, but it still amazed me that we'd somehow met again. Not that it matters. I'll probably be dead in a week. "I'm Harper, by the way," I added. "Harper Clemons."
He stared right at the dark wood of his door, lips in a tight line. "I'm Ben," he answered, although he didn't offer a last name.
"Good night, Ben."
"Night," he muttered back and disappeared hastily behind his door, leaving me alone in the hall.
The first thing I did when he was out of sight was roll my eyes. How could someone live like that? Paranoid. Walking around in the world full of problems that they made up in their own head. Afraid to have any kind of relationship with another human being because they might get hurt. It made them feel safe, but it was a coward's life.
A rich, meaty smell greeted me as I closed my room door behind me, and my gaze instantly fell on a silver tray on the little trunk at the foot of the bed. On it was a white plate, and on that was a pile of steaming food. I rushed over to it and fell on my knees, forgetting about Ben and his cowardice, and started shoveling the food into my mouth with my bare hands. There were potatoes and gravy, ham and roasted green beans and maybe something else, but it was gone before I started thinking about what I was doing. I've never felt as hungry as I did when I saw all that food, and yet I didn't waste a moment to really taste it. By the time I'd finished, I was exhausted and my stomach ached with everything it held, so I didn't even bother to turn off the light before collapsing on the golden sheets.
I fell asleep that night with a full belly, warm skin, and heavy thoughts.