*Justin*
Thursday
10:44 PM
"What are you doing with her?" Dad asked me, bringing down the basket from upstairs.
"Picnic in the park, where the cherry blossoms are, I know they aren't in bloom now, but the trees are pretty even without flowers.
"Yeah, they are. What did you make?"
"My famous peanut butter and jelly, with fruit, I got some sparkling cider, and canolis from the bakery."
"Those things are to die for."
"I know," I nodded, walking with him into the kitchen and started pulling everything from the plastic bag I had, setiting it in the basket. "Thanks by the way."
"No problem. It's just beem sitting up there. Someone has to use it."
"Where are you going Justy?" Jazzy asked, looking up at me with her hands on top of the island in the kitchen.
"I'm taking Bella out to the park."
"You're going to the park?"
"Not with the swings," I told her with a laugh, setting everything down and squatted down to her level. "But I'll tell you what. When I come back today, I can take you over to the one with swings for a while. How does that sound?"
"Good." She smiled up at me, giggling as I pecked her nose and stood myself back up.
"That's ok, right?" I asked Dad, looking at him watching the both of us.
"The park down the street?"
"Yeah, just for a little while. I'll bring her home afterwards."
"Yeah, that's fine."
"Ok, then I'll be back. Thanks again."
"Have fun."
"I'll do my best."
I left the house, setting the basket in the backseat of my car, the started it, driving the few minutes to Bella's house and knocked on the door.
"Hi." She smiled at me, finishing the embrace I had already started and held onto the base of my neck, her soft lips moving against mine for just a few seconds before she pulled away.
"Hello to you too."
"So what are we doing?"
"How does a picnic sound?"
"You put together a picnic?"
"Yeah," I nodded, taking her hand as she stepped out of the house and shut the door behind her. "Is that ok?"
"It's more than ok. It sounds wonderful."
"I thought we'd go to the park. I know the cherry blossoms aren't in bloom anymore, but when they are it's cold...and it's still beautiful."
"Yeah it is."
"But not as beautiful as you." I lifted her up off the ground, laughing with her while I leaned back, gently spinning her down to the ground in her dress and pecked her lips again.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome. Oh, and I told Jazzy I'd take her to the park later...as a big brother I have to fulfill that commitment."
We got in the car, continuing the conversation after with the radio on.
"Aw, can I come?"
"Sure, I didn't think you'd want to go."
"Of course I would! I am still working on winning her over."
'Bella, are you kidding? You've been over a couple of times, and that one day when we were playing Monopoly she fell in love with you. You don't have anything to win over."
"She's so cute. I'd love to come with you guys."
"Ok, then after we're done we'll stop and pick her up, I'll have to get her carseat though."
"I wouldn't mind going out with her a few days this summer. We'd give your dad a break. We could take her out for ice cream, and to the park, even the zoo! Oh my goodness that would be so much fun!"
"You're cute."
"Hey, if you can't be cute, I'm not cute."
"You're a girl, it's different."
"No it's not. You're so cute! That's a compliment!"
"Little kids are cute."
"Well you're cute too. Get over it."
"Whatever." I said with a laugh, reaching over to for her hand and took it in mine. "How was your first morning of sleeping in?"
"Great. Peaceful."
"Good."
"My dad is leaving tomorrow, but Josh is home now during the week because college is over..."
"Tell him you're going to Jackie's. You can spend the night at my place. I work for Manny Friday, so I won't have to leave early in the moring."
"Ok...maybe we could go to the club?"
"Yeah, if you want to we can. Especially if you wear something like last time."
"You liked that, huh?"
"Very much."
"Maybe I'll switch it up this time."
"Not too much, we don't need a repeat of last time. Mine."
"Yeah, we definitely don't need a repeat. I'll see what I have."
I pulled up beside the park, parking my car and got change out of my pocket, kissing Bella's cheek before we hopped out of the car, feeding the meter with the coins before I got the basket from the backseat, then the blanket, shutting the door with my hip afterwards.
"I can carry the blanket." She chimed, gently taking it from my hands and took my free one.
"Where should we go? Under a tree?"
"Sounds good to me."
Our arms swung as we walked, my eyes scanning out for the perfect spot, and I led her over to the biggest amount of shade I saw, setting down the basket to help her spread out the blanket, laughing as she plopped herself down and crossed one leg over the other.
"I hope you love peanut butt and jelly, because I can't be that fancy with a picnic, but I did stop and pick up your favorite dessert."
"You got canolis."
"Little mini finger canolis," I told her, sitting down beside her and pulled out the bottle of sparkling cider. "And I did manage to get a fancy non-alcoholic beverage."
"Oh my goodness, I used to drink that all the time when I was little. My parents would have a glass of wine at dinner, and they'd give me that - I thought I was so cool."
"I got it at Christmas time. For the same reason." Laughing, I popped off the cap, grabbing a glass from the basket and poured it inside, handing it over to her, then poured myself one.
"Yummy."
"Good." I took a sip of my own before handing her a sandwich, getting out the grapes and threw one up in th air, catching it in my mouth.
"Oh! Toss one to me!" She said, and I did, laughing as it bounced off her nose. "You did that on purpose!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"Nuh uh! See!" I tossed another one at her, and this time it just bounced off her face.
"You jerk!" But she was laughing, picking up the one I had just thrown and threw it back at me.
"I am not!"
I sat my glass off to the side, scooting closer as I bit into my sandwich, watching her for a moment as she leaned into me.
When we were done eating, we were both laying on our backs looking up at the sky, her hand rested on my chest with her head.
"Haven't you ever wanted to get out of here? To do something else?" She asked, tilting up her head to look at me.
"Of course I do...I just can't leave really."
"If you could go anywhere, where would it be?"
"Probably Italy or Japan. Basically anywhere in Europe - and then Japan."
"Really? Wow. I want to see Venice. Venice, Paris, and London."
"Maybe one day we'll be able to do that. We'll go to Venice, Italy, Paris, and Japan. We can start a bucket list."
"Really?" She looked up at me, her gorgeous smile lighting up her face.
"Yeah, that would be cool. I could get time off...it depends on what I'm doing next year...you have school."
"School won't be for forever though. You are going to visit me, right?"
"Every weekend if I can."
"Good. And we have face time. I'm going to miss you."
"I know, I'll miss you too, but I know everything is going to work out. It has before."
"I know." Lifting up her head again, she kissed me, laughing as I hugged her waist in my arms. "But about our bucket list, we can't have it he like Up where they say they're going to go to Paradise falls together and they never get to."
"I'll start saving now. I promise."
"Seal it with a kiss. Do it Bieber."
"Done." I pulled her back down, masking her lips with mine, then let her curl up into me, fixing her dress and ran my hands along her back.
"I still want to meet your mom."
"I know."
"It's been sixth months Justin. You've practically met my whole family, and more at my party on Sunday."
"Bella, it's complicated."
"Why?"
"It just is."
"Ok." She sighed, resting her head back on my chest.
"You will though. I promise...I just want to get myself together first. I can't lie to my mom."
"About what?"
"Work. She knew I was getting into trouble."
"But that could be...months until you get out of there."
"If I get out of there."
"Don't you want to? Don't you have any desire to leave and do something else?"
"Of course I do, but how Bella? How do I leave that with the things I've done? It feels impossible."
"But it's not." She shook her head, squeezing my hand. "I know you can get out of there...couldn't your dad help? Mine could, something."
"No Bella. You can't tell anyone."
"I know - but I just - I've told you before you're so much better than the things you do. That isn't who you are. You should be going to school, figuring out what you want to do with your life."
"What makes you think that isn't what I want to do?"
"You just said you wanted to get out."
"I don't know how to get out," I shrugged, putting my hand back behind my head. "No one ever has. Not that I know of."
"Well then you'll be the first."
"Maybe."
"If you don't, how are you going to go see your mom? How do you plan on keeping it from your dad for years while Jazzy is growing up?"
"Bella, can we talk about something else?" I looked down at her again, quickly looking back up.
"Yeah, sorry."
"It's ok. It's nice to know you care so much, I just don't like thinking about it."
"I'm just scared something is going to happen to you."
"I know, but I will be ok. I have Hunter and Mike. They always have my back, and I have theirs."
"Isn't Mike lower than you? Like job wise?"
"Yeah, he's only been there for about a year or two - and it depends in if Manny likes you or not."
"Oh."
We were both quiet then, laying beside each other - but I was thinking, and I knew she was too.
I wanted to get out so bad, especially with everything happening recently. Now I was allowed to see my siblings again, my dad was finally talking to me, trusting me with things- like taking Jazzy out today.
I wanted to be better for her, so much better...but then what if I tell him I am done? That I can't do it anymore? Does he go after my family? Bella? My friends?
I couldn't lose them because of me, because I made a stupid decision so I could survive on my own.
But then what if Manny understood, if he let me go knowing I wouldn't tell. I could go to school, I could work all the time at Grants. That paid good, and I had a ton of money put away in savings. I always did that when I had cash laying around that I didn't know what to do with- the money I didn't use on drugs.
But it had been a while since I had done that. I just didn't really feel the need anymore.
I would do anything to take that job back, to figure out my life with Bella, to keep everyone safe.
Maybe there was a way.
________________
*Bella*
2:14 PM
"I'm going to be five soon." Jazzy said, holding onto my hand as we walked down the side walk.
"Really?! Five?!" I smiled, looking at Justin who was walking beside us.
"Mhm! I'm having a princess party!"
"That's sounds like fun. Sleeping beauty is my favorite."
"I like Ariel and Jasmine."
"Is that because your name is Jazmyn?" Justin asked her.
"Yes." She giggled, and he bent down, scooping her up in his arms and blew on her stomach.
"Stop it! Justin!" She was laughing hysterically, while I laughed at them, plopping myself down on a swing.
"I forgot how ticklish you were." He told her, helping her in a swing.
"Yes. I'm very ticklish."
"Does that mean Justin is too?" I questioned, grinning over at him."
"No," His eyes widened, holding up his finger. "Don't you even think about it."
"Think about what?"
"That's what I thought."
I rolled my eyes, watching him with Jazzy, pushing her gently on the swing, then caught her off guard by kissing her cheek.
"Hey, Justin?" She asked, tilting her head back to look at him.
"Hmm?"
"Why did you leave home? Why weren't you around anymore?"
I saw him freeze up at that, his eyes flickered down at her, then back up at the sky.
"Well Jazzy, it was time for me to move out of the house. I had to figure out what I wanted to do, I'm still not really sure...but I missed you so much. I just had to figure out some stuff, and Dad didn't want me to come back until I did."
"Oh." She sighed, her bangs being blown back by the wind.
"Would you want to go to the aquarium or something this summer? Maybe we could even drive down to the beach one day, or go out for ice cream. Wouldn't that be fun?" He asked her, her head tilted back as her swing got farther away.
"Yes! What about Jaxon? Could he come too?"
"Of course he can, he has a week left of school, though, but he could come. I'm sure he'd like that?"
"And Bella?" She turned to me, sending a cheeky smile my way.
"Yes, Bella too."
"Good, I like her."
"Me too."
I smiled at both of them, rocking myself on the swing.
"Bella's turn." Justin chimed, coming up behind me and gave me a push.
"Oh my goodness." I laughed, turning my head slightly, blushing as he winked.
I couldn't believe I was still blushing.
________________________
*Justin*
Friday:
7:32 PM
"Justin?" Hunter asked, opening up the door to his house. "What are you doing here?"
"I needed to talk to you." I sighed, stepping inside the house and ran a hand through my hair.
"Is everything ok?"
"I don't really know," I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest. "I hate to bring this up, but when you and Grace got engaged, and you were working your last week with Manny...how did you do it? Did you just tell him you didn't want to do it anymore and he said ok?"
"Oh, um, yeah. I talked to him after I had done something, told him what was going on, and he said ok. He was cool, but then you know when I was there finishing up things a few days later Grace had followed me, and yeah..."
"So you don't think it was because you were leaving? It was because she was there?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think I'm going to try and get out." I said, looking down at the ground. "Bella just said something to me a couple of day ago, and she was right. I have to figure out what I'm going to do though. Manny has been watching Bella, I think he believes she knows things, and she does...but I don't want him to hurt her. As long as she's around me, she's in danger."
"Man, she's basically always around you."
"I know..." I sighed, sitting myself down on the couch and rsted my forehead in my palms. "I think if I try to get out, it's not going to be pretty. He doesn't know where she lives...if you and Mike take turns being around, if Jackie was with her...she'd be safer."
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
"I...I want to be the best I can possibly be for her. I don't want her to have to deal with Manny after I quit, trying to cut myself off from all the enemies I've had. I need to straighten myself up. You were there when I needed you four years ago, but I lost myself. I lost myself that night, I don't know who I am anymore, but with Bella that part of me feels alive again, I just need to find a way to keep it bright without her around all the time. Maybe one day she won't be there anymore. I need to be able to stay away from all the bad stuff. I can't lose my family again. I kinda want to go to school, to take different classes and have fun with it, because I can't deal with Manny the rest of my life. I can't kill anyone else. I can't sleep most of the time, she worries about me all the time. She doesn't deserve that. If I just took some time to figure out what I wanted to do, who I was again, Bella and I can survive it. She's been dealing with everything for six months. How many more times is it going to take for me to come home from fighting, for being nasty to her or some stupid shit, to the point where she leaves? I don't want that to happen, I want to fix it first."
"So what you're telling me is, you want to take a break from Bella, so you can get rid of all your baggage, Manny can't hurt her...and then you'll go back?"
"Yeah...I think so."
"Do you honestly think that's what's best?" He asked, sitting down beside me. "Think about it. When would you go back to her? She's going to leave for New York City, Justin...would you still be gone then? What if that gave her time to find someone else? I know you love her, so why leave her? Even if it's temporary?"
"Because I can't lose her." I told him, feeling his hand on my shoulder as I looked down at the ground. "She's made me wake up to so much, she's the reason I have part of my family back. She deserves the whole world, and I can't give that to her. I can't give her what she deserves. Not yet, but I will. I want to keep her safe from Manny though. I'll tell her after I quit. It won't be for the whole summer, maybe a week or two, at least till it all blows over, I have some classes for the fall - you know, so I have somewhat of a plan. I was just hoping maybe we could make nightly rounds to her house...sitting outside so none of Manny's guys showed up. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to her."
"Of course I'll help. I know you would have done it for me, and I'm sure Mike would've too, and you know Jackie is over Bella's all the time anyway. She'll be ok."
"Just at night. Her brother is home now, and even though him and I don't get along, I know he'd keep his sister safe. If anybody were to try and break in or take her, he'd be there to stop it."
"You're right...when are you going to do it?"
"What? Quit, or tell her?"
"Both I guess."
"I'm going to quit at the end of the week, maybe I'll go up after her party on Sunday, and then I'll tell her Monday. She's excited for that, and she's made it clear it's important to her and she wants me there, so I'll go. But the sooner I quit, the better."
"Well if you're going to quit, maybe it's time I really leave that place too."
"Seriously?" I laughed at him, looking at the window. "I thought you'd be there forever."
"I don't have anything really to do else-wise. WIthout Grace, that part of my life has kind of been put on hold. I don't have a wife to look after, or future kids at the moment to think of, so I don't know."
"You should date again though. You know Grace would want that."
"I can't," He shook his head quickly, his head hung low. "I'm not ready yet. It doesn't feel right."
"One day it will."
"How are you going to tell Bella?"
"I don't know." I sighed, chewing on the inside of my lip.
She was going to be so upset, but I had to keep her safe.
____________________________
*Bella*
Sunday:
3:56 PM
"Here." Justin said, sitting down beside me and handed me a soda from the kitchen.
"Thank you." I smiled at him, pecking his cheek. "I'm not smothering you too much by my family, am I?"
"Nah," He shook his head, tucking back a strand of my hair. "They're very nice. It's fine."
"Are you actually having fun, or are you just here for me?"
"No, I'm having fun, but of course I'm here for you." He smiled at me, pulling me in for a quick kiss and draped his arm over my shoulders. "Are you having fun?"
"Yeah, I am. I'm not very good at the mingling thing though. It's not on purpose, I've just - there are so many people here to get to everyone it feels like."
"I gotcha." He nodded, slowly moving his hand along my arm.
"The cake looks so good. I want it now." I laughed, resting my face in his neck.
"It's ice cream cake, right?"
"Yes, the best kind there is."
"Yummy."
"I know." I pulled back, looking back into the kitchen at my parents talking. "Hey, look."
Justin turned his head, following my gaze - both of my parents were getting along. That was rare.
"I thought that things ended badly between them?" He asked me, both of his eyebrow raised.
"They did, really badly."
"But then again, don't most divorces?"
"That's true too." I nodded, looking for a few more seconds before I turned back around. "I'm kind of glad a lot of people have left though. I am getting tired."
"But now you get to go shopping for stuff for that apartment."
"I'm so excited."
"It won't be boring like your room now, will it?"
"Hey! It's not boring. You seem to like it very much."
"When you're in it."
"Would you like to stay tonight?" I said in his ear, tracing patterns along his chest.
"Yeah, sure." He nodded, then caught my lips between his, making me giggle while his hands moved along my sides.
I couldn't wait for everyone to go home.
__________________
*Justin*
10:39 PM
"Shhh," I said to Bella while we were both laughing, hovered over top of her with my lips against her cheek.
"My tv is on, and the door is locked, it's fine." She said l, pulling me back down with her fingers raked through my hair, a hard kiss shared between us.
I was driving myself insane, because she wasn't ready yet, and I got that, but come on.
I ran my hand up her side anyway and under her shirt, biting down on her lip.
"Mine." I said in a growl, laughing afterwards with her and kissed her cheek, trailing my lips down to her neck while I pulled up her shirt, giving me room to trail down her chest and stomach.
Her soft little moans is what drove me crazy, but I pulled back, breathing heavily into her neck.
I couldn't do this. Not if I was going to tell her tomorrow we were taking a break so I could straighten myself up. That's so wrong.
"Are you ok?" She asked me, massaging my scalp with her fingers.
"Yeah, I-I'm fine." I told her, sitting myself up beside her and fiddled with my thumbs.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look away, biting down on the corner of her lip and hug herself.
"Now what about you?" I asked her, scooting closer and picked her up, pulling her onto my lap. "What's wrong?"
"It's because of Troy, isn't it? That's why you stopped."
"No." I shook my head, moving one hand along her leg and kissed her cheek. "That's not it at all. I promise you."
"I don't believe you."
"Baby," I sighed, hugging her as tightly as I could. "I've told you before that sometimes I stop myself for me, not you. You think I don't want to rip your clothes off 24/7? I do, constantly," That made her laugh, resting her head in the crevice of my neck. "But we aren't there yet, and that's ok. I'm not going to pressure you into anything. It'll happen when it happens- but not with your Dad and brother in the house."
"Ok." She laughed, snaking her arms around my neck.
"I love you, I love you so much." I hugged her as tightly as I could then, squeezing my eyes shut and breathed in the familiar coconut smell.
"I love you too." She hugged me back, pecking my cheek, letting me rock her in my arms.
She was going to hate me tomorrow, but I'd be back.
I had to keep her safe.
___________________
6:39 PM
"Manny," I said walking up into his office. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"I wanted to tell you that I'm done here. I can't do this anymore. I want to go to school and stuff, I just have a lot on my plate. I'm done with all of this."
"You're telling me that your done with this business?"
"Yes." I said with a swallow, nodding my head. "It's time I do something else with my life."
"You know if you do that...some serious consequences could come out of it."
"I know," I nodded again, rubbing the back of my neck with my hands. "But if anything has to happen, take it out on me, not my family."
"Or Bella?"
"Especially Bella."
"It was her idea, wasn't it?"
"No," I violently shook my head, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts. "It was my idea. I lost everything when I started this job. I'm trying to get it back."
"You honestly think you're going to leave?"
"I am leaving. I'm done Manny. I don't want any part of it."
"We'll see about that."
"Stay away from my family and Bella." I turned my back, going to leave, but he caught me, shoving me back on the wall.
"Listen Justin, you know that once you're in you're in. You're not getting out of this - and if you try to fucking leave the city you know we'll find you. I won't even hesitate to find Bella too."
"She didn't have anything to do with this! It's me! I want out and I'm done! I'm not coming back!"
"We'll see about that!"
I pushed him off of me, running down the steps and left the warehouse, flying back to my car.
Now I had to go to Bella's.
_______________________
*Bella*
7:32 PM
"Hey," I picked up the phone, smiling as I leaned into the pillows on my bed.
"Hey." Justin answered back, a certain tone in his voice that made my smile go away.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you think I can come over so we can talk?"
"Sure. My balcony door's open, then again it usually is at night for you."
"I'm already on my way, I thought it would be ok, I just wanted to make sure."
"Are you ok?"
I heard him let out a deep breath, my hand on the door to the balcony in case my brother walked through the hall.
"I don't know. I'm like two minutes away."
"Ok, I'm outside. I love you Justin."
"I love you too."
His voice was a tremble, then the call went dead, my mouth hung slightly open as I looked down at my phone.
I knew he was upset, about what I don't know.
Eventually he pulled up, his footsteps heard as he rounded the corner, meeting my gaze as he came up the stairs.
"Hey," I said softly, taking his face in my hands. "What's wrong?"
His hands went on top of mine, then he brought them down, holding onto one as he opened the door to my room and pulled me inside, letting go of my hand to shut both doors.
"Justin..."
"You were right." He shoved his hands in his pockets, standing in front of me as I sat down on my bed.
"Right about what?"
"I quit..." He sat down beside me, resting his hand on my leg. "My job I mean - with Manny."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and I went down to the community college today, to look at classes. I'm going to take one this fall I think, one or two."
"What do you want to do?" I smiled at him, reaching up and ran my fingers through his hair.
"I'm not sure. I'll figure it out. You know I'm really good at math and science, maybe engineering or something, welding like my dad, I'm not sure."
"I'm so proud of you." I smiled at him, meeting his lips with mine, caressing his cheek in my palm.
"Thank you." He swallowed, reaching up for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"But what's wrong? Something is and you're not telling me."
"You know I love you, right?"
"Yes...and I love you too."
He turned to me, taking both of my hands and leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead.
"You're scaring me, please tell me what's wrong."
"Ever since I met you, since I've fallen in love with you, you've always told me one thing, that I was better than what I was doing, that I deserved more."
"Of course I did, you do, and you're moving in that direction."
"My dad was right too, I've been so stubborn and angry at my parents that I haven't looked at myself. All I've done for the last couple of years is party, but then I met you, things started changing. You're amazing, you're so amazing. Now I'm seeing that you deserve the best, you are my life Bella. I need to be the best for you."
"But you are..."
I saw his eyes, water pooled at the edges.
"No, I'm not. I want to be allowed to see my brother and sister again whenever I want, I want to fix things with my mom. I want to be everything that you deserve. That's what I'm going to do. Manny wasn't very happy with me, things are going to happen. You need to stay safe. I just need some time to straighten myself out, just like my dad has been saying all along. For us, for everyone baby."
"But you can do that, you have been."
"Bella, you have to listen to me. I just told a very powerful man that I'm done. You're never 'just done' with a job like that. He's not going to do anything right away, but he will. I don't want him to hurt you. Your dad has a huge election coming up in just a few months. What happens to that when something happens to his daughter? He'll know it's because of me. I have to get myself together first. You'll be safe. It'll be safer without me for a while, but it's only temporary, alright? This isn't forever."
"Justin-" I shook my head, scooting closer to him. "I am safe with you. I've told you that. I love you so much. What happened to we can do anything together?"
"We can, but you have to trust me."
"I do trust you, but breaking up with me isn't helping this, us."
"That's not what this is." I finally saw a tear slip down his cheek, his hands slipping under me to pull me onto his lap. "This is so I can grow up, so I can be a part of my family again, so we can be together without worrying how too eat and who's following us, where to go so we don't run into trouble. You have to understand that. It's only temporary. It'll go by so fast you won't even notice we're apart. You can call me anytime you want, no matter what. We're going to be together, but the right way. I want to be able to take care of you, I want your father to continue to like me. I want my family back Bella."
I hugged him, kissing the side if his head, crying softly into his neck and held him back like he was holding me.
"I really am so proud of you baby." I said in his ear, taking in the smell of his cologne.
"That means everything to me."
"I just don't want you to go."
"It's only temporary. Don't let yourself think I'm leaving you, I'm not. I need to make sure nothing is going to happen, I need to talk to my parents."
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." I cried out, feeling his hands move along my back.
"Aw, sweetheart...please don't cry. I promise I'll be back. I'm only a phone call away, and if you need me for anything I'll be here."
"What about other girls? What if you meet someone else that's better than me, prettier than me, smarter?"
"Hey, look at me," He pulled me back, cupping my face in his hands. "There will be no one else. No one. You're my girl, and I'm yours. Don't think for a minute somebody will replace you."
"How can I not? That's what you used to do, I don't want to be just another girl."
"You aren't," He shook his head, tears falling off his lashes. "I promise you there will be no one else. I'm doing this for us. When I wake up in the morning and see that first bit of light, talking to my mom for the first time in months, throwing out that last cigarette, I'm going to think of you. You're my angel Bella, no one can take that away."
"Will you call me? To tell me how you are, what's going on?"
"I'll call you, and I'd like to see you, but not yet. We have to give it a little while, ok?"
"Ok." I swallowed, reaching up and wiped my eyes with the back of my hands.
"It kills me to see you cry, you're too beautiful."
His arms wrapped around my waist, rocking me gently in his arms.
"Will you stay?" I squeaked, shutting my eyes as I asked the question. "Just one more night?"
"One more night." He nodded, kissing me hard on the lips, my body letting itself fall back as I wrapped my arms around his neck, my own lips moving like it was the last night I'd ever have with him.
I was afraid.
________________
*Justin*
1:36 AM
I woke up groggily, looking at Bella asleep against my chest, then slowly slid out from underneath of her, careful not to wake her as I got up.
I pulled out the box from my pocket, setting it on the bedside table, then the envelope, leaning back down and placed a gently kiss to her forehead.
I was going to get myself together for Bella, no more lying to everyone else around me - no more faking.
I'd keep her safe, and in order to do that, I have to go away for a little.
I couldn't believe I had actually done it.
I sighed, touching my fingertips to her cheek before I turned around, quietly walking to the balcony door and opened it, shutting it with a soft click behind me.
When she woke up in the morning, she'd be devastated. I knew that.
But I'd be back.
I wouldn't forgive myself if she got away.
_______________
*Bella*
8:17 AM
I woke up with a groan the next morning, stretching myself out, then lifted up my head.
Justin was gone.
"Justin?" I looked around frantically, hopping up and looked in the bathroom, then out onto the balcony in case he was smoking, but he wasn't there either.
Tears filled my eyes, shaking my own head at no one as everything finally hit me like a wave.
He was gone.
Then I saw something on the table, on the side where Justin had fallen asleep.
I walked over to it, a envelope and a box with my name scribbled on it in his writing.
I opened the envelope first, my hands shaking as I pulled out the piece of paper, unfolding it to reveal a whole letter written out to me.
Bella,
I know I should be able to say everything to your face, but sometimes that's harder to do when I try, you know how I am. I'm sorry for everything, for fighting with you, or getting to you into the same messes over and over again. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'm going to get better. I just have to figure it out. I'm going to keep you safe for now, I hope you understand that. Some nights I'll be watching, Hunter or Mike, because I know something is going to happen. Manny is going to do everything he can to make this hard for me. I can't tell you that in person. I can't let you be there when him and his guys show up to take me off somewhere, I can't let him take you with me. You don't deserve to go through that, I do. So instead I'm going to be around town by myself a few days, to make sure they see we aren't together; so they can't find you. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you, you're everything to me. I can't even tell you how much I love you. As you're reading this I hope you know I'm not doing this to hurt you, and no matter how many times I say that I know you are, and I'm so sorry. But I'll be back, even though I'm not physically there, I am. You just don't know it. Call me in about a week or so, but not before then. He'll know. Nothing has changed between us, I just can't stay stuck in this mess all my life. I won't put our kids through this, I'm trying to get out now. I'll be back Bella, I love you.
~ Justin
Tears had already dropped onto the paper as I folded it up, then I looked at the box, still shaking as I took it into my palm, another note folded up inside.
'My mom gave this to me before she left the house. She told me to save it for when I was in love, when I had a special girl I loved with every ounce of energy I had. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I want you to have it, and when everything is ok again and I take you to meet my mom, she'll know it's you. I do.'
I looked down then, gasping quietly to myself as I looked at the necklace.
The pendant was just a single diamond, put it was perfect, beyond perfect even.
I got up, walking over to the mirror and slipped it around my neck, fastening the clasp before I looked down and touched it with my fingertips.
"Hey Bella, I made breakfast." Josh appeared, opening my door up, his eyebrows frowing together as he looked at me. "What did he do to you?"
"Why does he always have to do something?!" I cried, quickly going over to the box and letter, opening the drawer beside my bed and put them inside. "You always make him out to be the bad guy and you're the one that talks shit!"
"Bella, calm down." He walked over to me, holding onto my arms as I leaned into my brother.
"We're taking a break I guess." I mumbled, those words coming out of my mouth making me cry harder.
"Why?"
"Because he quit his job, he wants to fix his relationship with his parents and get his life back on track. He just wants me to be happy and safe while he does that."
"And that was a reason to take a break?"
"Yeah," I nodded, pulling back and wiped my eyes. "It's something he needs to do on his own, problems from a long time ago, and I understand."
"Well it's good he knows that he needs to do something." Josh kept an arm around me, pulling me out of my room into the hall. "Now lets eat some breakfast. I won't kick his ass yet, but if he doesn't come back I will."
"He is coming back. He have me his mom's necklace. It's only a temporary thing."
"Do you want bacon?"
"Sure." I nodded, wiping my eyes and sat down at the breakfast bar, my chin rested in my palm, my other hand playing with the necklace around my neck.
What if he didn't come back?
________________________________
*Justin*
I went straight to the fridge, pulling out a beer and popped of the cap, digging through the drawer and found the last joint I had in the house, lighting it and let it hang between my lips.
I knew how to make myself forget, and if that's what I had to do, even it was the last time, I would.
Bella was probably crying right now...
But it wasn't for forever, just a couple of weeks, and she was still mine.
It was just so I could protect her.
I went to my room, opening up a window and leaned outside, looking down at the road and pulled feverishly at my hair.
Would it even work? Would it even protect her? What if nothing even happened and I was trying to keep my distance for nothing...
But what if they got her anyway?
What if this was for nothing?
It couldn't be, he made it very clear something would be happening.
I just prayed it was to me - and this way Bella wouldn't know...she wouldn't have to worry. I'd be healed up by the time everything was ok again.
Or maybe I'd be gone.
She wouldn't have to be there to see it.
She'd be free from me.
She'd have a chance to enjoy school, to enjoy not hiding things, no secrets, someone her father approved of without hesitation.
Someone besides me.
I downed the rest of the beer, going back for the second, tossing the bud out of them window when I got back to my room and laid back on my bed.
She'd be so mad at me if she found out I was doing this, but she wouldn't know...I wasn't even positive of when I'd see her again.
I just wanted to call her, to go back and hold her, but I couldn't.
What if they were there now?
What if they were watching her right now?
I got up, walking over to my phone, catching a wall here and there as I stumbled, finding Hunter's number in my phone and called him.
"Hey broooo, can you check on Bella for me, pleasee?" I slurred, leaning up with my head against the wall.
"I think I should check on you first."
"Nah man, I fine." I shook my head slowly. "I'm just a little high. Don't tell Bella that though. She'll hate me - if she doesn't already."
"Get some sleep. It's late."
"Who are you? My mother?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I'm just asking you to check on Bella and make sure she's ok."
"Alright, what's her address?"
I told him, able to say it off the top of my head, then hung up, throwing away the second bottle and went for a third.
Eventually I passed out on my bed.
_____________________________
Author's note:
Ok, so this is officially like the last chapter for a week or so. I had already written like half of it and I just decided to finish it. NOW I WILL BE WRITING FOR HOH AND TRYING TO WRITE FOR TMP.
But this chapter I was cry just jasjrnajkrjkhrjk. POOR JELLA.
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