"I can't make any promises that this won't be unpleasant," I warned Rebecca as I lead her up the alleyway beside the coffee house. "My mom doesn't know that I was going to go to Boonsboro when I took the car yesterday."
Rebecca nodded, her gaze fixed on her feet. "I understand."
I felt another wave of pity for Rebecca, seeing the pallid tone of her face and hearing the audible sound of her grinding her teeth together.
She'd been grinding her teeth the entire four hour ride back up to the city, but only now did she truly look like she was about to vomit.
The small part of my brain that was actually logical knew that I needed to offer some words of comfort to her and not just a foreboding warning. I couldn't even begin to imagine what Rebecca was about to go through, and I didn't want to.
I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and ducked my head down against the chill wind whipping through the streets, sending a shiver down my spine. Whoever had said "March comes in like a lion" hadn't been kidding. Somehow, the wind and the thick gray clouds rolling in across the sky just made the situation seem even more daunting.
This was supposed to be a joyous occasion. Rebecca was finally going to be united with her neices after almost fifteen years. This was a celebration, really, a new beginning for endless possibilities.
Neither of us should have been walking towards this with dread filling the pits of our stomachs.
I also knew that it was probably irrational for me to be fretting in such a manner about Rebecca meeting the girls, since it was absolutely none of my business, but I was aware wholeheartedly of just what could go wrong.
Everything could go wrong.
I stopped with my hand on the door knob of the coffee house door, looking cautiously to Rebecca. "You sure you wanna do this?"
Rebecca's eyes narrowed into a "don't be stupid" look, which was answer enough for me.
"Right."
I wrenched open the door without further hesitation and passed over the treshold into the comfortable warmth and coffee scented aroma of the shop.
A few tables were occupied by people with their laptops and coffee mugs. The pastry case was considerably picked through, whichmeant there had been quite a slew of customers in already.
Good. Business was going well, at the very least.
"Wow." Rebecca gave a small sigh. "This place really hasn't changed at all. It's nice."
"If you want a job here, just ask. I think we're in need of a dishwasher."
The comment had slipped out without my really thinking it through I was expecting for Rebecca to immediately snap at me, but instead she just let out a snort of laughter.
"Thanks, but no thanks. I could never live in the city. Boonsboro is my home."
I understood what she meant.
As dangerous and generally unpleasant as Manhattan was, I had lived here my entire life. It was the only place I knew. The thought of leaving, especially Mama Rosa's, left a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Brosky! You're back!" June had skipped out from the kitchen to the front counter, ecstatic smile on her face. "Where did you go? Hadley was freaking out the entire time you were gone, and nobody knew why..."
Something in the expression on my face must have alerted June that something was up, her voice trailing off as she glanced slowly back and forth between me and Rebecca.
Rebecca was looking at June with a look akin to having been clubbed over the head, her eyes wide and her mouth open in surprise.
"Um..." June frowned in confusion. "Hello?"
"June." I nudged Rebecca forward up to the front counter, silently hoping she would find her voice and say something to June. "Meet Rebecca."
"Hi," June said, still frowning as she offered out a hand for Rebecca to shake. "Nice to meet you."
Rebecca stared at June for what felt like several moments. Tears were steadily dripping down her cheeks as her mouth moved without any audible words.
"Uh, are you, like, okay?" June said slowly. "I can get you some tea, if you don't feel well. My mom has this special blend that - "
"I'm fine." Rebecca finally manged to choke out a few words. "I'm just..."
And that was about all she said before she threw her arms around June across the front counter. June was so startled she stood there for a second, shooting me an alarmed look, then awkwardly patting Rebecca on the back.
"Sorry," Rebecca mumbled embarrassedly, pulling away from June. "I'm a little..."
"Right," June said, nodding in understanding, even though she really had no idea what was going on. "I get it. But, uh..."
Rebecca frowned, her head tilted to the side. "You don't know who I am, do you?"
I stepped forward before June could say anything, beside Rebecca. I had learned a long time ago, despite how repulsive it might be, that telling the truth right out was the best approach in most situations. That didn't mean I followed that notion on a regular basis, but in this case, it was probably best.
"Rebecca is Dad's sister."
June let out a huff of air, staring at Rebecca for a few short seconds, mentally running over everything that was happening. And then she managed a small grin.
"So should I call you auntie or zia or what?"
Rebecca burst into delighted laughter.
"Honey, you can call me whatever you want, so long as you know I'm your aunt."
I quickly took a step back as June leapt over the front counter and then the two were hugging again. I didn't see them letting go any time soon.
It was a sight that, for lack of a better expression, warmed my heart.
The customers loitering about in the shop were paying no mind to Rebecca and June's chattering and giggling, but a few moments later the scene was interrupted by someone who probably had heard the whole thing.
"What is going on out here? June, I thought you were supposed to be - "
It was Mom.
Her voice broke off mid-sentence and her eyes widened at the sight of Rebecca standing at the front counter. It looked as if she had just seen a ghost.
Damn. This was the part I had most been worried about.
If Mom had had a conniption when I had told the girls that our dad had been murdered, then it only made sense that she would flip out if our dad's sister came down for a visit.
"Regina," Rebecca said in a stunned voice. "Hi."
Mom made some sort of choked noise and managed a short, "Hi," and then turned to me. "Is that where you went? Boonsboro?"
Feeling more than guilty, I gave a short nod. "Um, yeah."
"Why?" Mom said, flustered.
So I gave her the same answer I had when I'd told April, May and June the truth about Chris. "They needed to know."
“Um…” Rebecca looked nervously back and forth between me and Mom. “I hope I’m not intruding or anything. I didn’t – “
“Please, Rebecca.” Mom held up a hand to cut her off. “You don’t need to apologize.”
Rebecca looked shocked at her words, and even more so when Mom walked around the front counter and proceeded to hug her tightly.
Even I was beyond shocked.
This re-introduction seemed to be going a tad bit better than I had hoped for. I certainly hadn’t expected Mom to immediately hug Rebecca like they were bosom friends.
One thing I had learned from Agnes Schaffer during our many uncomfortable sessions was that there were just some things you didn’t question in life. This was probably one of those occurrences.
When Mom pulled away from Rebecca, I could tell that she was seconds away from shedding tears, but she didn’t. The smile on her face was genuine. She really was…happy to see Rebecca.
“You’ve already met June, April and May are upstairs,” Mom said to Rebecca. “It’s about lunch anyways. You might as well come up and meet them.”
The expression on Rebecca’s face quietly turned from apprehensive to ecstatic. “Sounds fantastic to me.”
June let out an excited laugh, rocking back on her heels. “Well, what are we waiting for?”
Rebecca followed her around the counter and through the kitchen for the back stairs. The look Mom turned my way easily said would you mind manning the shop?
I shook my head.
No. No, of course I didn’t mind.
She smiled warmly at me, reaching up to ruffle my hair, but then gripped my collar and abruptly yanked me down to her level, the look on her face more than serious.
“Don’t ever do that again, Archer Morales. You will tell me where you’re going and what you’re planning before you take my car and go running off again. Do you understand?”
I was a grown man and not so easily intimidated, but right then my mother had just put the fear of God in me. There was no point in even trying to deny it.
“Right,” I agreed quickly. “Sorry. I’m just…you know…”
“I know.” Mom let go of my shirt and took a step back. “I hope you’ve gotten rid of whatever this is in your system right now that makes you feel like you’ve got to go right every wrong. Do you really think you can keep doing this after Hadley has the baby?”
My gut twisted uncomfortably at the mention of Hadley and the baby.
“No.”
Mom didn’t look convinced, but she gave a short nod, what might’ve been a wry smile, and then followed after June and Rebecca for the upstairs apartment.
I watched her go, silently hoping that the rest of the introductions would go just as well. Anything else? Well, that might have been hoping for too much.
I blew out a sigh as I walked around the front counter and took up a spot at the cash register. It was still relatively early in the afternoon, and the shop didn’t close up until around seven.
The least I could do was man the counter for that long. April, May and June deserved all the time in the world with Rebecca, if they wanted it. Mom, too.
I did a quick scan of the coffee house and saw that most of the patrons were just fine with their coffee and pastries, so I pulled out my cellphone and flipped it open.
My screensaver was a photo of Hadley I had taken a few years ago, back before we were married. We’d been on one of our many walks through Central Park and had ended up getting caught in the rain. We were drenched in seconds and ended up taking refuge underneath a tree, which was when I’d taken the picture of her. She had had this smile on her face that was amused, yet annoyed, and with the way her wet hair cascaded down her shoulders, she’d looked beautiful in a way I didn’t know how to explain.
It was probably one of the cheesiest things I had ever thought at the time – and it probably still was – but it still held true.
I needed to call Hadley, to tell her everything that had happened and that I was all right. Better yet, I needed to see her.
It was a funny thing, but I had begun to realize that even though I lived with Hadley, got to be with her, kiss her, hold her in my arms, I felt distant from her, not all there anymore.
I really…missed the way things had been between us before all of this supernatural shit had gone down. It felt like there was a riff between us that I desperately wanted to get rid of.
I missed her.
My head was starting to throb painfully and my stomach would not stop doing somersaults. For the life of me, I didn’t know what the problem was, either.
Part of me thought it might have been because I was beginning to experience all of these emotions, these thoughts I’d never had before, and it was making me feel sick. I didn’t know what to do with them.
If this was how a normal person felt all of the time, then maybe there really was something wrong with me.
The bells above the coffee house door chimed as someone stepped in, and I looked up, ready to see what kind of coffee drink I’d be making first.
“Oh.” Hadley sucked in a breath, her eyes widening. “You’re back.”
I swung myself up and over the front counter and pulled her into my arms. Some of the tension I had been feeling disappeared as I buried my face in her hair, inhaled her sweet scent of cinnamon and vanilla. She felt like home.
“Archer?” Her fingers were lightly running through my hair. “Are you okay?”
Why was she even asking me that?
“I’m sorry.” The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back. “So sorry.”
Just because they were unexpected, though, didn’t mean I was going take them back. Not now.
I felt Hadley go rigid in my arms.
“For what?” she whispered.
“Everything.”
“Archer… I – “
But I kissed her then, saving her from saying whatever she’d been about to tell me. I kind of liked it better this way, anyways, kissing her.
When we finally broke apart, my mind might have been a tad bit clearer than it had been before.
Hadley stared up at me with a dazed look on her face, her mouth slightly open.
“Well, that’s a hell of an apology,” she finally said.
“Just wait. I’m sure I’ll get better at it over time.”
What might have been a small smile pulled at her lips as she ran her fingers over my face. “I’ll gladly look forward to it.”
I managed a small smile of my own.
I leaned back against the counter and pulled her closer, keeping one of my arms around her waist.
I felt stupid for asking, but I said, “How are you?” anyways.
Hadley blew out a sigh, resting her head against my chest. “Fine. Just tired. Really tired.”
And she did sound tired, from her voice down to the way she held herself.
“Come home with me,” I said without thinking. “You can sleep.”
She snorted out a laugh. “Appealing, but I can’t. I’m on my lunch break now. I’ve got to go back to work in a half hour.”
That didn’t seem right, that she should be working.
“When are you allowed to go on maternity leave?” I asked. “Soon, right?”
“Not soon enough,” she grumbled, leaning away to give me a sour look. “I’m barely thirty-two weeks right now, if that. I’ve got another month, at least.”
She was right. Definitely not soon enough.
Had that much time passed already, though? How long had I been going along with this with blinders on?
Only a few weeks, and then our son or daughter would be joining the world, and I had no idea if whatever this was that was going on, would even be over by then.
With my business I was able to make my own hours. I could easily arrange my schedule to wear I barely had to go out expect for photo shoots. If Hadley was home, that meant I’d have all the time I could possibly want with her.
Even then, I wasn’t sure if that would be enough.
I suddenly had the urge to slap myself. My thoughts were starting to sound much too…whiny. Scared. Dependent on Hadley.
That was okay, wasn’t it? I hoped so. Otherwise I would forever more consider myself a pussy.
“Will you come back, after your shift ends?” I asked. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
Hadley raised her eyebrows in question. “Who?”
“You’ll see.”
April, May and June were rolling with laughter as Rebecca regaled them with the story of her first date with her first boyfriend.
“I swear, I’m not kidding you – Chris showed up halfway through dinner and sat down with us and started asking poor Jake Newman all these questions about how, if we got married, he would provide for me and whether he would let me get a job or not, or…or…God, I don’t remember, I just remember I was so mad. I didn’t talk to him for weeks.”
Mom and I were laughing just as loudly.
Honestly, that sounded like something Chris would do, protecting his little sister at the cost of mortifying her.
“God, that’s awful,” Mom told Rebecca, still laughing. “I can only imagine how bad he would be if he were here when the girls start dating.”
“Oh, no way!” May exclaimed. “Give me another decade, and then I’ll start dating. The guys at our school are idiotic.”
“Amen to that,” April agreed.
June shrugged. “I dunno, Link Sawyers is pretty good looking. Y’know, the guy with the glasses in my algebra class I told you about?”
“Okay, okay, enough,” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “I don’t need to hear about the boys in your lives, alright? I’m not ready to meet your boyfriends just yet.”
“I’m going to have to agree with that one,” Mom said. “You three are still a little young to be dating.”
“We’re fourteen!” they burst out in unison.
“Hey, a mom’s law is universal,” Rebecca said sympathetically. “And besides, guys are lame, you’re right. Just wait a while, and you’ll be surprised.”
Thankfully, I heard the locks tumbling on the front door at that moment, preventing any further conversation about my little sisters’ future boyfriends.
God. That was something I never wanted to think about.
The door pushed open as I got to my feet from the table and Hadley walked in, her hair windswept and her cheeks pink.
“Please tell me you took a cab here,” I said, reaching out to lace my fingers through hers, pulling her close.
“’Course I did,” Hadley scoffed, setting her bag and keys down on the coffee table. “I have enough trouble making it up the stairs to our apartment, there’s no way in hell I can make it down into the subway.”
Rebecca stood up from the table and joined us in the living room, hand outstretched towards Hadley. “Hi, I’m Rebecca. You must be Hadley.”
Hadley smiled, returning Rebecca’s handshake. “I am. It’s nice to meet you.”
“And you,” Rebecca returned, before looking to me, eyebrows raised. “You didn’t tell me you and your wife were expecting.”
“Must have slipped my mind,” I said nonchalantly while Hadley shot me a confused look.
In all actuality, of course the baby hadn’t slipped my mind at all. It never did. I just hadn’t felt it prudent to mention it to Rebecca at the time, given the fact that we had been discussing something entirely different.
For the next two and a half hours, the seven of us are seated around the dining room table, drinks and desserts in front of us, discussing everything under the sun. Or so it felt like.
We listened to Rebecca’s stories about adventures she and Chris had when they were younger, Mom’s sort of embarrassing first date with him. The conversation was lovely, really – it was a nice distraction from…well, everything, kind of.
I was still continually pleased that today had gone so well. It was one thing of few that was going well. I just hoped that things remained the same way.
When Hadley and I finally left, close to eleven, Rebecca and the girls were all settled in the living room, some Lifetime movie playing on the TV, all chattering away. Mom had already called it in for the night, but not before telling Rebecca that she was welcome to stay in the spare bedroom for as long as she wanted.
All in all, a fantastic evening.
“Rebecca’s nice,” Hadley said conversationally as we buckled ourselves in a cab, on the way home. “I think she and the girls will have a blast together.”
I grinned, my eyes fixed on the flashing lights outside as the cab sped down the streets. “Yeah. I’m counting on it.”
Silence passed between us for a few moments.
“How was it?”
I wasn’t sure I knew how to describe what had happened. In short, though? It had been –
“Bad,” I said slowly. “Very bad.”
“How…?” I heard her suck in a sharp breath. “I mean, did you…”
“I don’t know when Carter will come around, if he’ll ever come around. He’s a bit of an asshole, to be honest. Irene, on the other hand…it might take a while before she steps up, but I think she will.”
That was all I could ask for, at least.
Hadley said something in the agreement and for the remainder of the ride home, we were quiet. When the cab came to a stop at the curb outside our apartment complex, I paid the fare, helped Hadley out onto the sidewalk, and we made the long trek up the stairs to our home together.
“Bed,” she said the moment I had unlocked the front door. “Definitely bedtime.”
“Yeah,” I said. “No doubt about it.”
Sleep sounded very appealing.
I quickly brushed my teeth, dropped onto the bed, ready to bury my face in a pillow and sleep.
I heard the light in the bathroom click off and then Hadley slid into bed beside me. She settled into the crook of my arm with a sigh, and I thought for a second she was already asleep.
“Archer?”
Guess not.
“Yeah.”
“I was just wondering…when do you think this will be over? Because I’m…I just don’t…I’m not sure how much longer I can do this.”
I felt tears dampening my shirt sleeve and Hadley trembling in my arms, and all I really could do was hold her close and run my fingers through her hair and press kisses against her cheek and neck, brush my thumb over her stomach, hoping that what had just happened was the last fear I had to face.
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This chapter was hard for me to write. Really hard. And that was probably why it took me almost two weeks to post, so I do apologize for that. I hope it was worth the wait. So, drop a comment and let me know what you guys think. ( :
I think I've recently reached a turning point in the story, the plans I have for it, so the chapters are going to be starting the downwards slope towards the...ending. Oh, no! A year later! But still. Just wait. I think it's going to be awesome, and I'm excited for it. I also may or may not have ideas for another sequel - which will be the last book, making this a triology - but I can't confirm it at this point - it really depends on Face Your Fears. So...yup!
So, I'll let that marinate for a bit. Enjoy the chapter! I also should have a new post for Eyes Open, so keep a look out for it. ( :
Happy rest of the summer, too!
Lots of love,
Ally